Other Character Email Gunhaver/Awesome
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Summary
After making a comic strip, Gunhaver answers an email about Steve answering an email.
Cast (in order of appearance): Greaser, Jocko, That Nerd, Tubby, "Socks", Poorly Drawn So and So, Poorly Drawn The Ugly One, The Cheat with the Huge Fist, Gunhaver, Reynold, Foxface (Easter egg), Alpha Stan, Steve, Callum
Lines: 192
Transcript
{Cut to a piece of paper. On it are large words that say "Teen Cheat Squad! By Gunhaver."}
NARRATOR GUNHAVER: Teen Cheat Squad!
{Cut to Greaser with the word "Nightmare: At the bottom of the social scale" by him.}
NARRATOR GUNHAVER: Greaser!
{Cut to Jocko with the words "Nightmare: Being humiliated at school" by him.}
NARRATOR GUNHAVER: Jocko!
{Cut to That Nerd with the words "Nightmare: 99% on a test" by him.}
NARRATOR GUNHAVER: That Nerd!
{Cut to Tubby with the words "Nightmare: A diet" by him.}
NARRATOR GUNHAVER: Tubby!
{Cut to a field. Greaser is standing in front of Jocko, That Nerd, and Tubby.}
GREASER: Listen up, you un-tuff minions.
TUBBY: My weight's tough.
GREASER: Shut up, fatso. Anyway, you're all going to ooh ah at my new car!
{A very old station wagon appears.}
JOCKO AND TUBBY: Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah!
THAT NERD: Are you sure that that's just not your grandpa's old station wagon?
GREASER: It is not, so shut up! Who wants to drive first?
JOCKO: I will!
{Jocko gets into the car. Suddenly, it blows up. The following words appear.}
NARRATOR GUNHAVER: TOO OLD FOR YOUR GOOD'D!
TUBBY: Uh... uh-oh, he's dead.
GREASER: Oh crap! He ruined my cool-cool-car!
THAT NERD: It's because that car is very old and unstable. Also, I think people are going to blame us for Jocko's death.
GREASER: Shut up, you dumb nerd!
THAT NERD: That's an oxymoron.
GREASER: Forget you! Tubby and I are going to do random stuff together without you!
{Just then, a baseball bat sends That Nerd flying away.}
NARRATOR GUNHAVER: NEGLECTION BAT'D!
{Cut to Greaser and Tubby facing some "Socks" in a lot.}
GREASER: Oh no! Socks! Tubby! Let's fight them!
SOCKS: Oh yeah? Well, we stink more than you do, literally!
{Just then, fumes shoot out of the "Socks" at Greaser, torturing him.}
NARRATOR GUNHAVER: EXTREMELY SMELLY FUME'D!!!
GREASER: Jeez! You stink!
SOCKS: Literally!
{Greaser is gone.}
TUBBY: Uh, I'm going to go have yogurt now.
{Tubby exits YQ (Yogurt Queens) with a large vat of yogurt.}
TUBBY: I got jimmies!
{Then poorly drawn versions of So and So and The Ugly One appear.}
THE UGLY ONE: Hey! Quit stealing our lines!
SO AND SO: Yeah, and plot ideas!
{Just then, The Cheat with the Huge Fist shoots a beam down from the sky at Tubby, vaporizing him.}
NARRATOR GUNHAVER: COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT BEAM'D!
{Cut to Greaser (with bandages on his nose) and That Nerd (with bandages and broken glasses) with the following words below them. Narrator Gunhaver says the words.}
NARRATOR GUNHAVER: I'd like to tell you that Greaser and That Nerd were not killed by the "Socks'" stench and the neglection bat, respectively... UNTIL NOW!!!
{Greaser and That Nerd turn into skeletons for no reason.}
{Cut to Gunhaver and Reynold in a room with a desk, papers, and pencils. Gunhaver and Reynold are looking at Gunhaver's comic.}
GUNHAVER: Well, how is it?
REYNOLD: Well, at best, it was crude, and violent.
GUNHAVER: Yeah? At least this was better than the first one!
REYNOLD: What do you mean? This is issue number two!
GUNHAVER: No, I made the first issue on email 40, and... oh crap, not again.
{Gunhaver runs off.}
REYNOLD: Is Gunhaver 100% sane?
{Cut to Gunhaver in front of the Alpha 1260.}
GUNHAVER: That nosy Reynold, and he has the HUGEST nose of all!
ALPHA STAN:Hello Gunhaver, you have
GUNHAVER: CUT THE CRAP AND GET ON WITH THE EMAIL!
{Gunhaver furiously presses a button, making the following email appear on the screen, which is suddenly bright. Luckily, most of the text is black.}
GUNHAVER: Oh crap, I should control my temper. Anyway...
{Gunhaver begins reading the email. For Gunhavver, he adds a purr with the two Vs.}
Subject: AwesomeDear Gunhavver,
Dinoshaur
Let Steve answer an Email,
and kick Contestro.
Your friend,
GUNHAVER: {typing} Ugh, you misspelled my name? I'll remember that soon for revenge. Anyway, Contestro's on the run and is irrelevant right now. I would kick Blue Laser, but that'd be boring. As for the first sentence, no. You haven't seen the mess he made with his animation, did you? {stops typing} Well, that was dull. Ow, that computer screen is hurting my eyes! I should shine this in front of Reynold. Sweet!
{Cut to a wider view of the computer room. Gunhaver is carrying the Alpha 1260 with difficulty.}
GUNHAVER: {straining} 37 pounds. Even if it's lighter than the Lappy, it's still heavy.
{Cut to the following.}
Now we look at what happens if Blue Laser did not screw up time, the story in email 38 (Anything) was continued, and Steve answered the email after the events of said email.{Cut to Steve in front of Gunhaver's Delta 1001. He types in
gunhaver_email.exe.}
STEVE: Good thing Gunhaver doesn't use passwords. And since he's missing, I'll check an email!
{Steve presses enter to make the following email pop up. He reads the email as it is, not minding the email is meant for Gunhaver.}
Dear Gunhaver,
So what happened? You, Steve, and Reynold were
on a mission to stop Blue Laser from hacking into
the TV mainframe. Then you were left in the old
Blue Laser HQ and slept there. Then what?
From a fan thinks Cheat Commandos rule,
Shoe-Shoe-Shoe
STEVE: {typing} Well Shoeman, I don't think you should be impatient. It's only the day after our mission! But Gunhaver hasn't come back, so we're getting suspicious, or the other Cheat Commandos are suspecting Reynold and me. Well, I guess Reynold and I should try finding Gunhaver, since I think we're involved in this.
{Cut to Reynold at The Screen. Steve walks onscreen.}
STEVE: Hey loser. How's the search for Gunhaver doing?
REYNOLD: Not so good. I wish something cliché would happen that would help us find him.
{Just then, glass breaking is heard as a brick with a piece of paper attached to it is thrown into the room.}
STEVE: Look at that! A clue!
{Steve takes the piece of paper and reads it.}
Dear Carcass Commandos,
I have kidnapped Gunhaver for Blue Laser, and am
holding him hostage in the JIBNEY! abandoned warehouse
district. Dare you try to rescue him, and things will get
interesting. If you do not, then I will do something that you
willplevernever not regret.
-An Elite Blue Laser spy
STEVE: Well, that's easy. TO THE JIBNEY! ABANDONED WAREHOUSE DISTRICT!
{Cut to a dismal place with abandoned and neglected warehouses. Steve and Reynold walk into one. Cut to inside the warehouse.}
REYNOLD: How do you know that we should go in this warehouse?
STEVE: Plot reasons.
REYNOLD: Um, that's weird. But why aren't you bringing along the other Cheat Commandos?
STEVE: Plot reasons.
REYNOLD: You know, you're not allowed to break the fourth wall!
STEVE: Shut up, because he's here.
VOICE: That's right! Now welcome to your doom!
{Suddenly, lights are turned on as everything in the warehouse is now visible. However, Steve and Reynold are closing their eyes in pain.}
STEVE: Ahh!!!! The light! It stings!
VOICE: Shut up, Steve! It's now time for us to settle an age-old hatred!
{Cut to where the voice is coming from. Callum is standing on a platform above Steve and Reynold.}
STEVE: Callum! My long-lost brother! Everyone thought you got killed by a kitty cat!
CALLUM: Well... who the heck said I was killed by a kitty cat???
STEVE: Anyway, how DARE you join Blue Laser!
CALLUM: Hey! Blue Laser said I'm going to be rich.
STEVE: But he didn't make you rich!
CALLUM: I know, which is why I'm going to kill you and that shrimpy nerd!
REYNOLD: "SHRIMPY NERD???" Wow, I hope Gunhaver will never call me that, because that insult sucks!
CALLUM: Okay, maybe you wouldn't be worth killing. Instead, I'll fight Steve! Get ready to die, brudda!
{Then Callum jumps off his platform (the scene turns into widescreen) while tense music begins playing. Just then, we hear a sickening thud. Cut to Steve and Reynold looking at Callum, who landed flat on his face.}
STEVE: Ha! Callum, you were never good at fighting me! Now tell us where you are hiding Gunhaver!
{Then Gunhaver enters from the left, meaning he entered the warehouse through the entrance.}
GUNHAVER: Hey losers. I just came here to tell you that Foxface thinks that you ruined her makeup room, so she's mad at you.
REYNOLD: I didn't do it!
GUNHAVER: And neither did Bart.
STEVE: Wait, Gunhaver??? You're not kidnapped? Where were you?
GUNHAVER: Oh, I was at the TV place and at the courtroom, suing the TV people for showing Pokemon on TV.
STEVE: Don't diss Pokemon, man!
REYNOLD: Wait, you mean this mission is worthless?
GUNHAVER: {to Steve} You took Reynold on a mission??? Well, this doesn't count at all, since you suck! Anyway, let's go back! I need to check my email.
{Cut to Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001. He types ingunhaver_email.exe.}
GUNHAVER: I've got to email, da-ra-ra-ra-ra! I've got the email, da-ra-ra-ra-ra!
{Just then, the scene freezes. Pan out to reveal that this was a toon viewed on Gunhaver's Alpha 1260 (the brightness is back to normal). Gunhaver clears the screen.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} And that's why, Fossil, is why Steve should never answer an email. Stuff would be boring.
{Pan out to show Steve in Gunhaver's computer room.}
STEVE: Hey! That's no fair! You intentionally cut out the action sequence from my encounter with my brother so you'd make people think I suck!
GUNHAVER: Yeah, well, you do.
STEVE: You know, I have as much fans as you do!
GUNHAVER: That's a lie! {positions the Alpha 1260 to make the screen face Steve} Take this!
{Gunhaver slams his hand on a button, doing nothing.}
STEVE: Take what?
GUNHAVER: Drat, you're not blinded by the Alpha's screen, unlike Reynold!
{Just then, Alpha Stan appears on the screen.}
Click here to email Gunhaver at GEmail.exe
{Steve looks scared at Alpha Stan.}
STEVE: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! That dem{voice edit} monster{normal voice} is scary! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
{Steve runs away.}
GUNHAVER: Heh, {to Alpha Stan} 70 points to you.
Easter Eggs
- Before Greaser and That Nerd get killed, click on "Socks" to make a horrible stench torture Greaser. Click on "neglection bat" to see a large bat beating That Nerd on the head.
- Click on the other papers on the desk to see a drawing of Rodgort the Freezinator, a drawing of Bread & Sugar, and a drawing of Foxface.
- Click on Alpha Stan at the end to see the fight scene Gunhaver edited out of the toon earlier (remember the fight scene is in widescreen):
{Callum jumps from the platform as tense music begins playing. He punches Steve away from him as he lands. Steve back flips to regain his posture. Then he runs to Callum, jumps, and kicks him in the face. While falling, Callum manages to grab Steve and throw him away. Steve and Callum gets up. The music gets more tense as they glare at each other. Then they run towards each other. Just as Callum gets out a crowbar to strike Steve, Steve jumps over Callum, lands behind him, gets out his sign (the one that says "Pokemon Still Rules") and whacks Callum in the back of the head with it, making Callum fall to the ground unconscious, creating a thud. Cut to Steve and Reynold looking at Callum.}
STEVE: Ha! Callum, you were never good at fighting me! Now tell us where you are hiding Gunhaver!
Fun Facts
- Teen Cheat Squad's first issue was from Comic.
- Tuff is a slang word for cool.
- The "Socks" are a parody of the Socs, the rival gang of the Greasers in the book The Outsiders. Note that Greaser is based on the Greasers.
- The yogurt part is based on Teen Girl Squad Issue 2, hence the whole copyright infringement joke.
- Yogurt Queens (YQ) obviously references DQ, Dairy Queens.
- This is the first time Gunhaver has cut Alpha Stan off while he is saying one of his usual sayings.
- Gunhaver references Stealing when he talks about the mess Steve made with his animation.
- The Alpha weighing 37 lbs is from Reynold's Commandos.
- The second part of the email is a continuation from Anything, guest-written by mitchell00.
- Shoe-Shoe-Shoe is a nickname I gave myself for the email answered in The Ungurait email, Plan 2.
- JIBNEY! and plever are references to stinkoman (an ISBemail).
- Callum is a character made by Mitchell00.
- Gunhaver mentioning Bart after Reynold says he didn't do it is a reference to a Simpsons episode, where Bart becomes famous for his catchphrase, "I didn't do it."
- Before Gunhaver stops watching the toon, we get to see the beginning of New Mission. And if you think that this counts as Reynold going on a mission, to Gunhaver, it doesn't.
- Steve having his voice edited refers to edits made for Japanese cartoons in USA, like Pokemon, or Yu-Gi-Oh.
- Steve was about to say demon, and that being censored refers to style, where a religious word is changed into "corrupt our children!"
