Other Character Email Gunhaver/Virus
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
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Summary
The Virus(es) finally attack Gunhaver's computer. This doesn't look good for the Orange 02.
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, The Virus(es), Cyber Homestar, Vector Strong Bad, A Special Guest, Homestar Runner (voiceover in Easter Egg)
Lines: 96
Transcript
{Gunhaver is sitting in a chair in front of his fixed Orange 02. He types run "gunhaver_email" while singing something, unaware of the events that will take place.}
GUNHAVER: It is the email! I know the email! You know the Gunhaver! The email knows me!
{The following email pops up on the computer as Gunhaver reads it.}
Well Gunhaver, your time's up.
hahahahajjhndfkgjlasfk;hdkls;ljgslljekrgkx;lkfdjdlk;dfnbnzmdfjkdfbsjdfjnbjdffsdfjfjs
ladfkjksjaldljfsdkfjfdfvndlcvbmnvsdlfjfhjfkshdkgljrasjdfgbjakjghgioifghjiepodj
jdkfdsbfjdksljfvnjdksldbfjdkslkfhjsjfdshkdafsjdjfhrejrhejrhgjehbfsjefhedfr.
- The Virus(es)
GUNHAVER: (reading) Well Gunhaver, your time's up. Hahahahajn... There's no way I'm going to read this! It's going to give me a headache! I'll delete this!
{Gunhaver attempts to delete the email. Instead, 3-D vector hands break out of the Orange 02, one catches Gunhaver by surprise, and the other punches him, making him fly away.}
GUNHAVER: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
{Gunhaver is about to crash into a wall, but suddenly, he goes through it.}
{Cut to a gray background with the Cheat Commandos logo being shown, written in Chinese, affected by the Virus(es).}
ANNOUNCER: {in Spanish} We will now eat my cheese and shoes.
{Cut to a cyber world with green lines in a 3-D vector world. Gunhaver wakes up on a platform and looks around.}
GUNHAVER: Where the crap am I?
{Then green lined 3D Homestar appears, dubbed Cyber Homestar.}
GUNHAVER: Who are you?
CYBER HOMESTAR: I’m the Homestar Runner.
GUNHAVER: Whoa! You are the Homestar Runner who is always on The Paper? You're not so great! In fact, my mother's casserole is more... special... and more... better.
CYBER HOMESTAR: Right. Toons.
{Suddenly, red, blue, and yellow lines flew around the sky with some computer beeping.}
GUNHAVER: Whoa! Do another one! That was so cool!
CYBER HOMESTAR: Games!
{Then the lines ground began to move as 3-D green pyramids went past Gunhaver and Cyber Homestar. But even with the movement of the ground, Gunhaver and Cyber Homestar were not getting closer to the mountains in the background.}
CYBER HOMESTAR: Characters. Characters. Characters. Characters.
{Each time Cyber Homestar said Characters, the platform rotated. The first time, they saw taller and steeper mountains. The next one made them see even more taller and steeper mountains. The next one made them see an outline of a futuristic city. Then the last one made them see the original mountains.}
CYBER HOMESTAR: Downloads! Downloads!
{Each time Cyber Homestar said Downloads, squares from Homestar fell off.}
GUNHAVER: Eww! That's so gross!
CYBER HOMESTAR: Downloads!
{Suddenly, new squares replaced the ones that fell off on Homestar.}
CYBER HOMESTAR: Store!
{Green lines appeared in the background and wave insanely.}
GUNHAVER: I'm getting dizzy looking at those lines.
CYBER HOMESTAR: E-mail.
{The lines do not stop waveing and Vector Strong Bad appears. Suddenly, some orange and purple spiky and circular viruses with mouths appeared out of nowhere. They went into Vector Strong Bad's mouth. Instead of blowing up, it just stayed there.}
VECTOR STRONG BAD: I’ll splode your head!
CYBER HOMESTAR: See ya.
{Cyber Homestar kicks Gunhaver off the platform.}
CYBER HOMESTAR: Characters. Characters. Characters. Games!
{Cyber Homestar faces the futuristic city and flies off.}
VECTOR STRONG BAD: Your head a splode!
GUNHAVER: No! I liked you! You were so cool, with your words and...
{Gunhaver is cut off as he had to run away to dodge a deadly rectangle.}
GUNHAVER: Man! This virus stinks! I’m stuck in a weird world with a deadly head of a cool guy! This stinks!
{Gunhaver kicks a nearby cyber can into Vector Strong Bad. Vector Strong Bad explodes. Suddenly, a green hole appears in the ground and sucks Gunhaver in.}
GUNHAVER: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
{Then we cut to a room with a desk. The desk had some shelves, office supplies, a printer, some paper, a cell phone, a pencil case, pencils, post-its, and a laptop turned on with Microsoft Word on. There is also a chair, and on the chair is Shim-Sham-Sam, so this is in real life.}
SHIM-SHAM-SAM: What should I do next?
{Suddenly, Gunhaver arrives in the real world.}
GUNHAVER: Whoa! Where am I? Did I live?
SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Hi Gunhaver, my name is Shim-Sham-Sam.
GUNHAVER: Wait, you're THE Shim-Sham-Sam? Dude! You're like, the author of my emails! Say, why am I here?
SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Well, you see, I was working on the email with the viruses, left you in the real world, and decided to work on the email that occurs after that.
GUNHAVER: Can I read it?
SHIM-SHAM-SAM: No way! That would take the fun out of the next email! Anyway, what do you want?
GUNHAVER: Take me back to my world!
SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Okay, but be warned, you will not like what meets you.
{Shim-Sham-Sam opens up the Internet. Then he goes to the Homestar Runner Wiki website and clicked on the link to the Fanstuff Wiki. Then he clicked on the link to the Other Character Email, and then to the Other Character Email Gunhaver, and then he clicked on Virus. Then he clicked on the edit button on the top of the page, scrolled down, and typed something, making Gunhaver disappear.}
{Cut to the computer room, where Gunhaver arrives in front of his computer room. The Orange 02 is crushed by a small meteor, which was brought in by The Virus(es).}
GUNHAVER: Well, glad to be back in the Cheat Commandos world. The real world was nice, but everything was too, three-dimensional. Now onto the email!
{Gunhaver looks at computer and cries out.}
GUNHAVER: NO!!! ORANGE! ORANGE 02! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SURRENDER TO THE VIRUSES! YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST HAD A HOLE IN THE SCREEN, BUT INSTEAD, YOU WERE REDUCED TO... METEOR FOOD! Hey! A meteor! That looks cool, but what can I do about this?
{Bangs his head against the table while muttering sadly.}
GUNHAVER: (almost sobbing) I can't live without you! Actually, I can, but... my heart is lost! Orange 02, I pine for you!
{The Paper comes down, saying: Click Here to Email Gunhaver at gunhaver@homestarrunner.com. Then we cut to a black screen with the following:}
Plans for the memory of the Orange 02:
- Scan the meteor and sell the computer to another Cheat Commando
- Buy a new computer
- Decrease Crackotage's salary again
Easter Eggs
- Click on "sell the computer" to see the webpage for the auction and see the computer has been bidded on $2,000 by witchesbrew82. Homestar will say:
HOMESTAR: {voiceover} Best 2,000 bucks I'm going to spend! But I think my fixed Compy 386 is better.
- Click on "salary" to see Gunhaver steal money from Crackotage's wallet.
Fun Facts
- The fourth wall is broken.
- The cyber world is from Main Page 21.
- Yes, I do type up the email episode on Microsoft Word first to prevent typos. Then I paste the episode onto the Fanstuff Wiki. That's my process.
- The description of my desk is exactly what my desk looked like when I was making this email.
- Gunhaver’s journey in the cyber world is based on a The Simpsons Halloween episode where Homer enters a cyber world in order to escape from his sister-in-laws. He kicked a can in order to enter the real world.
- Gunhaver moping for his Orange 02 is based on Strong Bad moping for his shot gunned Compy 386 in the Strong Bad Email virus.
- "Orange 02, I pine for you!" is based on Strong Bad saying "Trevor, I pine for you!" in the Strong Bad email trevor the vampire. Strong Bad also said "Trogdor, I pine for you!" in the game TROGDOR! when you lose all of your lives.
- The Internet auction is a reference to the Strong Bad email: english paper.
- Decreasing Crackotage's salary is based on Magic.
- witchesbrew82 is Homestar Runner, who spends money excessively. This also shows that the Cheat Commandos and the main characters of the website live in the same world.
- The email was referring to the email Un-Replied Emails when Gunhaver got an email from The Virus(es) and had the Orange 02 spared.
- The attempt to delete the virus email and failing is based on the Strong Bad email virus.
- Most of the Other Character Emails characters and Strong Bad has lost at least one computer.
- Vector Strong Bad is from the Strong Bad email video games, the game StrongBadZone, and Main Page 21.
- This is not the end of the Orange 02.
- What Homestar mentions in the Easter egg is a variation on best/worst bucks ever spent.
