Other Character Email Gunhaver/Bttp
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Summary
Gunhaver gets an email telling him to be serious, so he tries his best to be serious. Then the Chibilichi Commandos help him go back to 2005.
Cast (in order of appearance): Guntoshi, Silura, Gunhaver, Reynold, Firebert, Ripberger, Blue Laser, Zengar, Ree, Firumon, Dark Sapphire Laser, Dark Sapphire Robots, Ryue, Stinkoman, 1-Up
Lines: 131
Transcript
{We cut to 20X5.5. We are in a place with the futuristic buildings. We go to the biggest building, which is by a large floating Chibilichi hologram shouting (in subtitles), "Not for sale!" On this large building are the words, "Chibilichi Commandos HQ." As we see all of this, old video game music is playing in the background.}
{Then we cut to a blue background with Sir Guntoshi jumping into the air doing anime poses repeated several times.}
GUNTOSHI: {subtitled} WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
{Then we cut to Guntoshi landing from his jump with his hand about to open a refrigerator. Then we see a view of the refrigerator with Guntoshi's silhouette looking at the refrigerator, which has some bottles and containers.}
GUNTOSHI: {subtitled} Oh boy! Dumpling soup with an chickens!
{Then we see Guntoshi at a table, eating the soup with his spoon.}
GUNTOSHI: {subtitled} Chomp! Chomp! Chomp!
{Then Silura appears onscreen.}
SILURA: {subtitled} Foxychan's been kidnapped!
GUNTOSHI: {subtitled} WAHHHHHHHHHH!!! {a bone flies from his mouth} {still subtitled} A dumpling bone!
SILURA: {subtitled} But Foxychan's still...
GUNTOSHI: {subtitled} I must go find this dumpling whose bone is this and ask him for a fight!!!!!!!!!
{Then we zoom out to see that Gunhaver, Guntoshi, and Silura were watching this Cutscene on The Widescreen, a 20x5.5 version of The Screen.}
GUNHAVER: And so, here is the Chibilichi Commandos 20X5.5 game made X0.5 or X0 years ago. {The X0s are pronounced like "exty".}
GUNTOSHI: Wow, that is amazing. I can't believe that the past people like us so much.
SILURA: They made my face look pretty!
GUNHAVER: Uh... right. Remember that in order for me to show you this game, you were going to help me answer an email before helping me go back to 2005?
GUNTOSHI: Oh, right. Hang on.
{Guntoshi types on The Widescreen. Soon, the following email is shown on The Widescreen. As Gunhaver reads it, Guntoshi and Silura leave.}
Hey Gunhaver,
Answer tis email is the most serios way ever.
From Joshua
GUNHAVER: {reading} Hey Gunhaver. Answer tis email is the most serios way ever. From Joshua. {typing} Well, all right. I'll be serios. But first, I need to don some serios clothing using the high-tech device.
{Gunhaver walks off-screen. Then he comes back, wearing business clothes.}
GUNHAVER: {typing while speaking in a serious voice} All right Mister Joshua. I am here to tell you that you have a poor way of spelling words and you have poor grammar, especially this as tis and serious as serios, and is answering email the most serios way ever? I, Gunhaver, the Serios man, am here to tell you of your consequences of your poor spelling. Consequence #1:... {in regular voice as the business clothes disappear off of Gunhaver to make him in his regular clothes} You know what? Being serios sucks! I oughta go back to 2005 now. The Cheat Commandos are probably missing me there.
{We cut to the Cheat Commandos HQ in 2005. Reynold, Firebert, and Ripberger are laying on the bean couches, drinking some Thai iced tea. Some pleasant background music is playing.}
REYNOLD: Ahh... this is the life. No Gunhaver to boss us around, no Gunhaver to make us feel bad, no Gunhaver to hog the spotlight.
Firebert: {Cheatish noises of agreement}
{Then Blue Laser walks onscreen.}
BLUE LASER: I AM ENJOYING GUNHAVER'S UNEXPLAINED ABSENCE SO MUCH, I'M TAKING A LONG BREAK FROM EVILITY!
{We go back to 20X5.5 in the Chibilichi Commandos HQ. Gunhaver is in a room with Guntoshi, Zengar, Silura, Crackoshu, Ree, and Firumon.}
GUNHAVER: So you're going to help me go back to 2005?
GUNTOSHI: Of course! Since you're my ancestor, I must make us help you! Chibilichi Commandos, let's {Japanese}! We'll go to the abandoned warehouse district that's obviously dangerous and we're going there for no reason besides helping Gunhaver, and we're going to put ourselves in danger.
ZENGAR: Let's go!
REE: Can I come too?
{While Gunhaver laughs normally, all of the other Chibilichi Commandos laugh Anime style (much like how Stinkoman laughs).}
REE: {hurt} You'll pay for this!!! {runs off-screen}
GUNTOSHI: {to Firumon} As for you, stay here until you think of a better name and look!
{As Firumon cries anime-style, the rest of the Chibilichi Commandos and Gunhaver walk off-screen.}
{Then we cut to the abandoned warehouse district (right next to the populated warehouse district). The Chibilichi Commandos and Gunhaver walk into a warehouse.}
GUNHAVER: So what exactly are we here for?
GUNTOSHI: To tell you the truth, we don't know. We just led you here so we could have think time. This is hard. At least Dark Sapphire Laser isn't here to harm us.
DARK SAPPHIRE LASER: {off-screen} You're wrong!
{Then Dark Sapphire Laser walks onscreen followed by two Dark Sapphire Robots.}
DARK SAPPHIRE LASER: You have fallen into my trap! You have come here to think and you've brought your ancestor. Now we shall exterminate him to make Guntoshi's, and quite possibly the Chibilichi Commandos', existence null and void.
ZENGAR: Who thinks that is the most overused plot for time traveling shows?
CRACKOSHU: This has been used several times, I can't believe that they don't get dimes. {laughs Anime style}
DARK SAPPHIRE LASER: That was not funny. Dark Sapphire Robots, attack!!!!!!!!!!!
{Then the two robots march towards Gunhaver. Then Zengar shoots plasma shots from his attached cannons at the robots, blasting them into oblivion. Then the robots are revived as they are multiplied into four robots that are shot by Zengar, reviving them into eight robots. This repeats until there are 1,024 Dark Sapphire Robots. Zengar is about to blast them when Guntoshi punches Zengar.}
GUNTOSHI: {to Zengar} You fool! You're almost as bad as Ree, or Firumon!
ZENGAR: How dare you insult me!
GUNTOSHI: You're right. Sorry.
{Just then, Guntoshi looks like he is starting to fade.}
GUNTOSHI: What the {Japanese version of crap}?
{Then Gunhaver walks onscreen, except he is battered, as shown by his messy clothes, his hat that has rips in it, and his lopsided shades.}
GUNHAVER: You idiots.
GUNTOSHI: Oh yeah? Chibilichi Commandos, ATTACK!!!
{Then the Chibilichi Commandos try to fight the Dark Sapphire Robots, but they are sent flying back, beaten up.}
GUNTOSHI: Oh man! Dark Sapphire Laser has gotten better at this!
{Then Dark Sapphire Laser walks onscreen, accompanied by four of his 1,024 robots.}
DARK SAPPHIRE LASER: You see? I am going to win today! Today, I am going to squish the Chibilichi Commandos!
{Then Ree comes.}
REE: Fear not Chibilichi Commandos and a Cheat Commando! I can save the day!
{Then one robot shoots a little green laser at Ree, knocking him back.}
GUNTOSHI: See? I told you that you are terrible.
{Then Ree transforms into Ryue. Then Ryue shoots a large white beam at the 1,024 Dark Sapphire Laser Robots, leaving only two robots alive, plus Dark Sapphire Laser himself.}
DARK SAPPHIRE LASER: Crap, I knew that this would happen.
{Then Ryue is about to fire another beam at the enemy when Dark Sapphire Laser throws a multicolored cube at Ryue, transforming him back into Ree.}
DARK SAPPHIRE LASER: Look, I appreciate all of this Anime fighting stuff, but now, I'm going to squish you all.
GUNHAVER: Fine, I'll make myself useful.
{Then Gunhaver takes out his pistol. Then he shoots a bullet at a Dark Sapphire Laser Robot that shoots an energy ball. The bullet and energy ball make intact, creating a large flash of white, blinding everyone except for Gunhaver, Guntoshi (the ones wearing shades), and Ree (his glasses protect his eyesight).}
GUNHAVER: Wow! Look at that!
{Then we cut to a large white void swirling into a whiter circle.}
GUNTOSHI: What is that? Something that wants to fight?
REE: It's a time portal. Gunhaver, you can use that to go back to 2005!
GUNHAVER: How do you know that?
REE: Holo-Tv. But I know one other thing. The time portal can only take one person or object at a time before disappearing.
DARK SAPPHIRE LASER: {off-screen} Ha, ha, ha!
{Then we cut to Dark Sapphire Laser standing in front of the time portal. Dark Sapphire Laser is holding some sort of 20X5.5 weapon.}
DARK SAPPHIRE LASER: I'll go to the past to give my ancestor, Blue Laser, this weapon to dominate, with my help, the Cheat Commandos and exterminate them, completely wiping out the existence of the Chibilichi Commandos!
REE: That's stupid! Why not go to 1936 and do that to the Sneak Commandos?
DARK SAPPHIRE LASER: Oh, I'm stupid. Well, I'm still going to win!
{As Dark Sapphire Laser and his two remaining robots run away, Dark Sapphire Laser throws the weapon into the time portal. Then the portal disappears.}
GUNHAVER: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{Then a glowing train falls right behind Gunhaver.}
REE: Look! It's a Time Train!
{credits roll}
{Then we cut to Stinkoman and 1Up watching this from the holo-television.}
Stinkoman: Oh man! That was the greatest episode ever!
1Up: Can we go to Pudding World now?
{Then we go back to the computer room with Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} So to make things short, that weapon turned into cyber dust for some reason due to the power of space and time, which is a bunch of crap explained by Reynold, who was taking a break when he wasn't supposed to. And then I returned with the help of that glowing train. So, I made the rule for no breaks for some people, like Blue Laser or Reynold. So Joshua, that's what I am like, serios. And as for you, Mitchell, that's how I escaped from 20X5.5, which wasn't as fun as I thought. So until next time, I'll see what I can do with that cyber dust.
{Then Gunhaver leaves as the Paper comes down, saying: Click here to email Gunhaver at gunhaver@homestarrunner.com..}
Easter Eggs
- Click on cyber dust to see Gunhaver with the cyber dust talking to Reynold.
GUNHAVER: I'll give you this cyber dust if you can use it to make time portals.
REYNOLD: That's impossible, for it'll rip up time and space.
GUNHAVER: Then take off your glasses.
REYNOLD: Why? {he takes off his glasses}
{Then Gunhaver throws the cyber dust into Reynold's eyes, giving him pain in his eyes.}
REYNOLD: AHHHHHHHH!!! My eyes! That cyber dust hurts!
Fun Facts
- This email is continuing from Time traveling 2.
- The beginning of this email is the Chibilichi Commandos version of the Cutscene prior to level 2 in Stinkoman 20X6.
- The Widescreen is the 20X5.5 version of The Screen.
- The part with Gunhaver replying to the email is parodying funny, where Strong Bad tries his best to be funny, only to be not funny in the end. Here, Gunhaver tries his best to be serious, only to be not.
- Gunhaver makes fun of an emailer's poor spelling the most (serios) in this email.
- The Thai iced tea is from interview, and it later appears in 2 emails.
- Ree and Ryue first made their appearances in Anime.
- 1,024 is the tenth power of two.
- The title of this email is based on the Back to the Future movies.
- The train is a reference to the third movie, where in the end, a train had to be used as a time machine ehen the orignal time machine(a Delorean) was destroyed.
