Other Character Email Gunhaver/Present
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Summary
Gunhaver gets a haunted present from Foxface, so New Years Day and a special event have to be blended with Halloween.
Cast (in order of appearance): Assorted Characters (including The Unguraits and Contestro), Gunhaver, Alpha Stan, Foxface, Silent Rip, Fightgar, Ripberger, Arrowhaver, Crackotage, Reinforcements, Reynold, Flashfight, Civilians, Blue Laser, Werewolf (Easter egg)
Page Title: Happy New 365 and Special Event!
Lines: 138
Transcript
{Cut to the night sky. Fireworks are being shot into the sky. Some music starts playing as some of the fireworks form the shape of a birthday cake, the message "HAPPY NEW 365!", or the message "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GEMAIL!". Then we cut to a clip show of the email show, starting with the events of Seasons 1 and 2. Someone sings to the song.}
SINGER: Happy New Year,
Happy Birthday,
O-C-E Gunhaver,
You have reached the big 3-6-5,
3-6-5 is a big number,
I remember when you were a little boy,
Small, weak, and stupid,
Then things changed when the Orange had to go,
Then came the Screen, and the Orange again, then the Screen, then the Delta!
{The clip show now goes to show the events of Seasons 3 and 4 with an interval shorter than the one for the part with Seasons 1 and 2.}
SINGER: You started growing into a masterpiece,
Stronger and wiser, with a plot,
Then you reached the big 50, then the 75, ratings flew.
{Some music starts playing. The clip show now shows events of Seasons 5 and 6. Soon, the singer starts singing again.}
SINGER: Are you ready for another year?
Are you ready for adventure?
Facing dangers and the hardships that will come, oh, oh,
{We are shown The Unguraits stealing from Contestro in Stealing.}
SINGER: Remember your accomplishments,
{We are now shown random events that happened throughout the entire email show.}
SINGER: Remember that you can do anything,
But now, you've reached the 3-6-5,
3-6-5, a big number, oh, oh,
Happy birthday.
{Cut to a picture of a birthday cake with frosting that says, "HAPPY 365, GEMAIL!" After a pause, we cut to Gunhaver in front of the Alpha 1260.}
GUNHAVER: Oh yeah! The sink full of emails is working like a charm!
Hello Gunhaver. You have 19 new emails.
{Gunhaver presses a button to make the following email appear. Gunhaver reads it.}
Subject:giftDear G-haver
-NachoMan
If Foxface gives you a gift, DON'T TAKE IT!!!
Its infested with the werewolf curse!
Don't take it!
GUNHAVER: Ah... G-haver, my favorite nickname. Anyway... {typing} Look, Un-Machoman, I don't care if you want to be part of a triangle or have Foxface cheat on me. Your warning is just ridiculous. I mean, {laughing} who cares about werewolves anymore??? It's AFTER DECEMBERWEEN! {Pause} NEW YEARS DAY!!!! {Pause} 2006! {Pause} 954 YEARS UNTIL THE NEXT MILLENIUM!!! {Pause} This email is getting nowhere. Time for a little DELETED!!!
DELETED!
GUNHAVER: Now I have to go and see how the Cheat Commandos are doing in setting up the party room for the New Years Day party and MY EMAIL SHOW'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!
FOXFACE: {off-screen} Gunhaver?
{Cut to a wider view of the room. Foxface is at Gunhaver's right, holding a package.}
FOXFACE: Here's your birthday present.
GUNHAVER: But it's not my birthday. It's my email show's birthday.
FOXFACE: Same thing. Just take it.
GUNHAVER: Well... all right. I do like presents.
{Gunhaver takes the package from Foxface.}
GUNHAVER: Thanks.
{Cut to the normal view of Gunhaver checking an email on the Alpha.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} So you see, Salsa Boy... Oh crap, this is the package you're talking about. Well, I'll just reward your out of the blue warning/prediction with this:
{A very long pause ensues. Gunhaver turns around to face the camera.}
GUNHAVER: {to the audience} What? What are you waiting for? Get lost!
{Cut to the following.}
We're very sorry we couldn't censor the fourth wall break - 4Wimps
{Cut to a wider view of Gunhaver's computer room. Gunhaver is still on his chair in front of the email desk. Contestro is there.}
CONTESTRO: Hey Gunhaver. That's quite an interesting package you've got there. What's in it?
{Suddenly, captions appear, saying, "TRANSLATION: I want to open that package for comical reasons!"}
GUNHAVER: Uh... nothing cool.
{Captions say, "TRANSLATION: I know you want to open this. Well, GET LOST YOU FOO!"}
CONTESTRO: Oh, come on! You haven't opened it yet, so how do you know?
{Captions say, "TRANSLATION: Open the stupid package NOW!"}
GUNHAVER: Look, it's none of your business.
{Captions say, "TRANSLATION: GET LOST YOU CREEP! WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED IN MY PACKAGE???}
CONTESTRO: Okay, that's it, I'm going to go open it!
{Contestro lunges for the package on Gunhaver's table. Gunhaver simply lifts the package into the air, making Contestro crash into the table and fall unconscious on the floor.}
GUNHAVER: Jeez! This had better not be the start of some open the package frenzy!
{Gunhaver grabs the package and walks out of the room and into a hallway. While walking, Silent Rip and Fightgar meet him.}
SILENT RIP: Gunhaver! We need help! We're having...
GUNHAVER: {interrupting} No, you are not going to take my package and I will not open it!
FIGHTGAR: Actually, he was going to ask you about our homework in thinking up of New Year resolutions, but this is more fun!
SILENT RIP: Yeah! Can you give us the package so we can open it?
GUNHAVER: {manic} NO!!! YOU'RE AGAINST ME AFTER ALL!!!
{Gunhaver runs off-screen as some manic music begins playing.}
FIGHTGAR: Hey guys! Gunhaver has a package! Let's open it for undisturbing reasons!
{Cut to Gunhaver running with the package down a hallway with some slightly scary music playing. Pan to the left to reveal that Silent Rip, Fightgar, Ripberger, Arrowhaver, Crackotage, and Reinforcements chasing him with manic eyes, saying a bunch of stuff, like "Open the package!" or "Give me the package!" or "Me like ice cream!" Pan to the left to reveal a panting Reynold, running as fast as he can (which isn't fast at all).}
REYNOLD: {panting} Wait guys! I want to run madly like you too, since that's one of my New Year resolutions! {pants} Oh, forget it! There goes my lungs!
{Reynold faints onto the floor. Cut to the front door of the HQ, where Flashfight is looking at the floor. Gunhaver, still holding the package and panicking, runs into Flashfight, resulting in both being knocked onto the floor.}
GUNHAVER: Oh man! Now they'll catch up with me for sure!
FLASHFIGHT: Ah! Gunhaver! Glad you either deliberately or accidentally crashed into me! I have some boring business-relating crap to talk about!
GUNHAVER: Okay, well... make it quick.
FLASHFIGHT: Okay, here's goes. {Manic} GIVE ME THE PACKAGE!!!
GUNHAVER: NEVER!!!
{Gunhaver runs through the door (creating a hole in it) and runs away from the Cheat Commandos HQ. Cut to Gunhaver lying on a large chair.}
GUNHAVER: I don't know why they suddenly want to open the package so much. I mean, even if I do tell them that it's cursed, they'll just ignore it or just want to open it even more. It's driving me crazy, knowing the fact that I can't trust anyone in the Cheat Commandos anymore. This forces me to rely on {shudders} ordinary civilians. What should I do?
VOICE: {off-screen} A generic psychiatrist reply that isn't helpful at all.
{Slowly zoom out to reveal that he's in a psychiatrist office. The psychiatrist is not visible.}
VOICE: {off-screen} Well, Gunhaver, I do have a suggestion to deal with your problem.
GUNHAVER: You do???
VOICE: Yes.
{Zoom out to reveal that the psychiatrist is Arrowhaver with a notepad.}
ARROWHAVER: {Manic} GIVE ME THE...
GUNHAVER: {surprised} You're a psychiatrist???
ARROWHAVER: Well... it's one of my part-part-part-part-part-part-part-part-part-part-part-part...
{As Arrowhaver keeps on saying "part", Gunhaver gets off the chair and walks away from the room. Cut to Gunhaver walking down a sidewalk in the city. It's nighttime. He still has the package.}
GUNHAVER: Oh man, who can help me now?
FIGHTGAR: {off-screen} THERE HE IS! GET HIM!
{Gunhaver looks at the other direction. Cut to reveal what he's looking at, a mob of Cheat Commandos and civilians. Some even have torches and pitchforks. All of them are yelling and running at Gunhaver. Cut to Gunhaver, who screams and runs down the sidewalk.}
GUNHAVER: Oh man! I need to find someone who can protect me from this madness! Wait, I know who can help me!
{Cut to Gunhaver banging on a door at a normal-looking house.}
GUNHAVER: Blue Laser! Help me! A mob is after me for a... Hey, wait a minute! I'm THIS desperate? I'm not low enough to ask Blue Laser for help! Jeez! What was I thinking?
{Gunhaver walks off-screen. Then the front door is opened to reveal Blue Laser.}
BLUE LASER: I THOGHT I TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKIN' GIRL SCOUTS COOKIES!!! {pause} HOWEVER, I AM INTERESTED IN YOUR NEW INVISIBILITY SUITS! {pause} HELLO? {pause} AW, THIS IS THE WORST NEW YEARS DING DONG DITCH PRANK EVER!!!
{Blue Laser slams the door closed. Cut to Gunhaver running down a sidewalk with his package, growing exhausted.}
GUNHAVER: Aw, this is stupid! Why am I going through all of this crap all because of a stupid package? I quit!
{Reynold, exhausted, crawls onscreen.}
REYNOLD: {exhausted} Wait for me guys! {pants} I want to be part of society too!
GUNHAVER: {angrily} Congratulations! You and your stubbornness win the package!
{Gunhaver throws the package at Reynold's face, breaking his glasses. Then Gunhaver angrily walks away.}
GUNHAVER: {off-screen} Sheesh! This is the worst way to celebrate the New Year and my email show's birthday ever!
{Cut to a close-up on Reynold.}
REYNOLD: {exhausted} Oh wow. I wonder what's inside.
{Reynold opens the package and screams at the top of his lungs. Then he starts to shudder before growing grey hair. Cut to Gunhaver, Foxface, and the mob of Cheat Commandos and civilians from before looking at the right, laughing.}
GUNHAVER: Ah, turning Reynold into a werewolf before he could use common sense is a GREAT idea for a New Years and my email show's birthday's prank! This is truly genius guys!
{Foxface glares at Gunhaver.}
GUNHAVER: ...and Foxface.
{Some roaring, screaming, and ripping can be heard off-screen. The crowd onscreen start to look as if they're anxious.}
SILENT RIP: Uh... now that Reynold-werewolf thing is biting Older Man Jenkins!
GUNHAVER: {grumbling} Stupid Reynold! He always gets himself and others into trouble!
{Cut back to the picture of the birthday cake at the beginning of the email.}
Easter Eggs
- Clicking on "GEmail" on the cake at the end allows you to email Gunhaver.
- Click on the candle on the cake to see this:
{Cut to the front door of Blue Laser's house. The Reynold-werewolf thing (with a full body of hair and sharp teeth) bangs on the door. Blue Laser opens it.}
BLUE LASER: {angrily} YOU'RE 63 DAYS LATE! YOU DON'T GET ANY CANDY!
{Blue Laser slams the door shut.}
REYNOLD-WEREWOLF: {distorted} But I hate candy!
Fun Facts
- OCE Gunhaver was started on January 1. The first email was released on January 2, making this email an anniversary email, even though it's released a day late.
- The clip show was originally going to be a Flash animation with someone actually singing. However, due to time restraints and stress, that wasn't possible.
- The song describes the email show, particularly the first four seasons and email 75.
- 4Wimps (a reference to/parody of 4Kids) censored Showdown.
- Click here to learn about Ding Dong Ditch.
- Older Man Jenkins was from 2 Remakes.
