Other Character Email Gunhaver/Who Shot Mr. Haver? 2
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Contents |
Summary
Gunhaver, alive and well, finds out who the culprit who shot Gunhaver in the head is with the help of Reinforcements, who just happens to be the only good guy still in the Cheat Commandos HQ.
Cast (in order of appearance): Reynold, Firebert, BlastFit, Gunhaver, Reinforcements, Arrowhaver, Fightgar, Police Cheat, Blue Laser
Lines: 122
Transcript
{We go to a room in the Cheat Commandos HQ with Reynold talking to Firebert.}
REYNOLD: I don't know. I just feel so uncomfortable with all of the people glaring at me like that, like I shot Gunhaver in the head, but I didn't. But at the same time, I know that most of us should have shot Gunhaver. They think I shot him because he mistreats me, which is obvious. You could have shot him because he keeps on saying your name sucks.
FIREBERT: {Cheatish noises of agreement}
REYNOLD: But the rest could have shot Gunhaver because...
{Then BlastFit arrives.}
BLASTFIT: Is this where I can learn if I passed the test to become an actual Cheat Commando? You know, since I was a field agent.
REYNOLD: I guess so. I'm not involved in this kind of stuff, and the rest of the Cheat Commandos are out going to LaLa Land without me, again.
FIREBERT: {Cheatish noises to Reynold. Then Cheatish noises to BlastFit}
BLASTFIT: Well, my name's BlastFit. I hold an Ion Cannon, and I throw a lot of fits caused by many reasons, like someone singing or doing other stuff like that. That's why I never go to musicals.
{Then Gunhaver (all right) walks to the room.}
GUNHAVER: {to self} That was a great tranquilizing dart nap. {to the three Cheats in the room} What are you all doing here? Get lost!
REYNOLD: You're alive! Wait, I knew that.
GUNHAVER: Yeah, I know, no thanks to you and/or Firebert.
FIREBERT: Meh?
GUNHAVER: That's right. You, Blue Laser, and Reynold are my suspects of who shot me in the head with that tranquilizing dart.
{As he says that, Gunhaver takes out a dart, which looks more like a black arrowhead than a dart.}
BLASTFIT: What about me?
GUNHAVER: I guess you're suspicious too, since I heard you say that you throw a fit when you hear singing, and I sung when I got shot in the head, so...
{Then Reinforcements comes.}
REINFORCEMENTS: Wait. Dorn't sorspect them yet. We need to find out who did it with detorctive work. I'll help.
GUNHAVER: Um, I'll take it at that. Let me answer an email at least.
{Then we cut to Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001. He types ingunhaver_email.exeand presses enter to make the following email appear. Gunhaver reads it with a screechy voice. For the COULDN"T, Gunhaver says "could n quotes t."}
NOOOOOO! GUNHAVER!
WHY YOU?? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE
SHOT IN THE HEAD??? WHY DID YOU
HAVE TO GO??! WHY!?!? WHY COULDN"T
IT HAVE BEEN SOMEONE LIKE REYHOLD!
WHY YOU????
Crapfully,
dude
GUNHAVER: {clears throat before typing} Number a, nice job, you nearly gave me a sore throat. Number b, you still broke an Internet etiquette law, don't type in all caps. Number c, I'm alive. Number d, you misspelled Reynold, but I do agree it should have been him. Okay dude, I should find out whodunit. {backspaces the last word} shot me in the head. With a tranquilizing dart.
{Then we see Gunhaver and Reinforcements in a room with couches. Reinforcements has a piece of paper.}
GUNHAVER: Okay Reinforcements, who are our suspects?
REINFORCEMENTS: Worl... Take a lork at my list.
{Gunhaver takes it. This is what the paper says.}
List:
- Cheese
- Milk
- Butter
- Foodstuff
- Other stuff
{We cut back to Gunhaver and Reinforcements. Gunhaver is slightly angry.}
GUNHAVER: Reinforcements, did you do any detective work while I was answering emails?
REINFORCEMENTS: All right! I admit! I dorn't knor how to do detorctive work! I jorst wanted attention!
GUNHAVER: Oh, well, why didn't you say so?
{Arrowhaver walks to the room.}
REINFORCEMENTS: Well, I guess it's because...
ARROWHAVER: Hey Gunhaver, Reinforcements, what are you two doing?
GUNHAVER: Oh, hey Indian guy. {Arrowhaver gets mad}
REINFORCEMENTS: {with the tranquilizing dart out} Hey Gornhaver, look at this dart. It looks like an arrowhead.
GUNHAVER: {ignoring Reinforcements} We're finding out who shot me in the head with the tranquilizing dart while I was singing.
ARROWHAVER: Oh, that's easy. It was me.
GUNHAVER AND REINFORCEMENTS: WHAT???
ARROWHAVER: {slowly zoom in on his face} It all started with this...
{Then a warning sign appears before disappearing.}
WARNING!!! Boring explanation coming up!
ARROWHAVER: I didn't really want to shoot people like this before becoming a field agent.
{Then we cut to a flashback. We see Arrowhaver walking down a sidewalk at night. A Cheat walks up to him.}
ARROWHAVER: {voiceover} I was anxious to see Pan Peter on the TV today, and on the way, I shot an innocent guy.
{We see Arrowhaver shooting a tranquilizing dart at the Cheat, knocking him out. Then Arrowhaver runs away.}
ARROWHAVER: {voiceover} I knew that if I joined the Cheat Commandos, I'd be safe, for I'd be justice instead of an enemy of justice. I saw that I needed to pay money in order to take a test to be a Cheat Commando, so that's why I had part-time jobs, part-part-time jobs, part-part-part-part-very part-time jobs...
GUNHAVER: {voiceover} All right! We get the message! Now I know why you took those jobs. And you didn't need money to take the test. That's what the Orange 02 was for.
ARROWHAVER: {voiceover} Oh yeah! Anyway, Gunhaver and I were friends, but nobody else liked me, because I was dressed as an Indian and I used arrows, and they said my weapons were primitive. Then came the parts where you didn't like me anymore.
GUNHAVER: {voiceover} It wasn't my fault! Wait, maybe it was.
ARROWHAVER: {voiceover} Not only that, but I would make very little appearances in your email shows...
GUNHAVER: {voiceover} Don't break the...
ARROWHAVER: {voiceover} SHUT UP! Anyway, I knew that it's official I'm not important as your friend anymore when you said over the phone that I'm not cool to you anymore. Then I knew that I didn't need to worry about shooting that one guy I shot, but now, I worried about my importance in your email show. So, I planned to destroy the Cheat Commandos by decapitating the leader and destroying the rest. Flashfight was gone, so I took down Gunhaver with my dart when his defenses were down. But I meant to use a poisoned dart, but I used a tranquilizing dart instead, for I always get those two mixed up. Basically, yeah, I wanted to commit murder.
{As all of this is said, poorly-drawn versions of Arrowhaver and Gunhaver seem to do a fist fight before Arrowhaver shoots a dart at Gunhaver singing, blowing him up. The drawings are on a piece of lined paper. Then we go back to the previous setting (with Gunhaver, Reinforcements, and Arrowhaver).}
GUNHAVER: Wow, I never knew that you were that manic.
REINFORCEMENTS: Let's bring him into custody!
{Then Fightgar and a Police Cheat come. Arrowhaver gets crazy.}
ARROWHAVER: {manic} NO! I can't let you! I'M GOING... {zoom in one Arrowhaver's face in front of a background with a black and purple radiance} ...TO THE DARK SIDE!!!
{The rest of the Cheats gasp as ominous music plays. Then we zoom out to see a full view of the room to see Arrowhaver walk to the other half of the room where none of the lights are on, making the half completely dark.}
GUNHAVER: Oh yeah, I guess we need to get new light bulbs. But really, you're too literate, and you still made a real-world reference.
ARROWHAVER: I don't care!
{Then we cut to a view of the dark side of the room. A blue limousine breaks through a wall. Blue Laser's head pops out of a window.}
BLUE LASER: HOP IN IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME TO THE DARK SIDE!!!
ARROWHAVER: {to Gunhaver} I'm going to join Blue Laser.
{Cut to Gunhaver.}
GUNHAVER: No, wait... No! {shouting dramatically with a dramatic close-up} YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE... {then we zoom out} ...to be a new actual Cheat Commandos member.
{Then we cut back to the limousine with Arrowhaver's head sticking out of another window.}
ARROWHAVER: Enough of the Star Wars references. See ya!
BLUE LASER: {from car} THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE!!!
{Then the limousine drives through the wall (creating another hole) and drives away into the night.}
{Then we cut to the Cheats in the light side of the room. They are all flabbergasted. Then Gunhaver leaves.}
GUNHAVER: {off-screen} I'm getting out of here.
{Then the rest of the Cheats leave the room. Then the Paper comes down, saying Click here to email Gunhaver at: gunhaver@homestarrunner.com..}
{If you wait a while, Reinforcements comes and takes the piece of paper before leaving.}
REINFORCEMENTS: Whoops! My shopping list!
Easter Eggs
- Click on REYHOLD while Gunhaver is answering the email to see a drawing of a poorly-drawn version of Reynold with a hammer on his head.
- Click on boring on the warning sign to hear a voice say "Uhhhhhhh..." during Arrowhaver's whole explanation.
- Click on the shopping list before Reinforcements takes it to see the list again.
Fun Facts
- This email is continuing from the email Unused emails and Who Shot Mr. Haver? (In Depth), where Gunhaver is shot in the head by a tranquilizing dart.
- In fact, the emailer (Joshua) was referencing to that event.
- Here are the references to the Simpsons episode Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part 2):
- Reynold saying everyone is guilty for shooting Gunhaver. In the Simpsons episode, Lisa Simpson says that everyone could have shot Mr. Burns (for example, Homer's a suspect because Mr. Burns forgot his name and Homer went berserk, so it's likely Homer shot Mr. Burns).
- Arrowhaver shooting an innocent Cheat so he could go home and watch Pan Peter is a reference to Smithers shooting an innocent old man so he could go home and watch a TV show on Comedy Central.
- BlastFit made his first Gunhaver email appearance in Who Shot Mr. Haver? (In Depth).
- Being a Cheat Commando field agent means you're not a real Cheat Commando worth mentioning, which was why Arrowhaver had to take a test, as well as BlastFit.
- Bug in Mouth Disease references:
- Gunhaver saying that he had a great tranquilizing dart nap is referencing to Homestar who said he had a great skillet nap.
- Arrowhaver simply admitting he shot Gunhaver is referencing to Homestar simply admitting he shot Caleb.
- Clues that foreshadow that Arrowhaver is the culprit:
- In Who Shot Mr. Haver? (In Depth), Arrowhaver shouts that Gunhaver is murdered instead of just tranquilized, and Arrowhaver wanted Gunhaver dead.
- The dart being an arrowhead is a clue that points to Arrowhaver being the culprit.
- The reason why Reinforcements helped Gunhaver out was because he barely made an important appearance in a while.
- References to sugarbob:
- Gunhaver saying number a.
- Gunhaver talking about dude breaking an Internet etiquette law by typing in all caps is referencing to the email where DANIEL types an email to Strong Bad in all caps.
- The Internet etiquette law is referencing to the website Netiquette, where it states in a rule not to type in all caps unless there's a reason to.
- Whodunit means a mystery novel, so it doesn't make sense if Gunhaver used the word in that context, which was why he deleted the word.
- Pan Peter is obviously parodying Peter Pan.
- Arrowhaver mentioning why he needed to have part-time jobs and such is referencing to Magic, where Arrowhaver's part-part-part-part-very part-time job was revealed to be a delivery Cheat.
- Part-part-part-part-very part-time job was referencing to part-time job.
- The Orange 02 was Gunhaver's old computer given to him by Arrowhaver, which is revealed in this email that it was used so Arrowhaver could take the qualifications test to be a Cheat Commando.
- There seems to be a very long waiting time between taking the test and the time when the new Cheat Commando is announced, since the qualifications test occurred before the Gunhaver emails (around last winter).
- The Fourth Wall is broken yet again.
- Arrowhaver saying that Gunhaver said over the phone that he's not Arrowhaver's friend anymore is referencing to Black Laser (Part 3), where Gunhaver says to Black Laser that Arrowhaver's not his friend and not cool anymore.
- Star Wars references:
- The dark side is from Star Wars.
- Gunhaver shouting "YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE..." is what Obi-Wan Kenobi shouts to Anakin Skywalker in Episode III (where Anakin joins the dark side (he becomes Darth Vader (the movie's just released))).
- The whole one half of the room being dark is referncing to a Spongebob Squarepants episode Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy V, where Barnacle Boy says he's going to the dark side and he goes to the unlit half of the Krusty Krab (the setting of that scene).
- Another reference to that episode was that after Barnacle Boy went to the "dark side," a car with two of his and Mermaidman's villains (Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble) drives into the restaurant. Here, Blue Laser's limousine breaks into the HQ after Arrowhaver goes to the "dark side."
