Other Character Email Gunhaver/ASDF
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Contents |
Summary
A new plot is bound to unfold. After deleting a referencing email, we get a look at 30X1.
Cast (in order of appearance): Mysterious Person, Carteen, Gunhaver, Alpha Stan, Steve, Reynold, Ash, Guninator, Commander Blaze, Dr. Reynolds, Ultramarine Laser, Ultramarine Underling, Ripper-Wan Kenobi, Disputant Rogue, Action Squad Destruction Force, Ultramarine Laser
Lines: 151
Transcript
{Cut to a dark tower at a stormy night. Dramatic music plays as we zoom in on the tower. Cut to the interior of the tower, which is utter darkness.}
MYSTERIOUS PERSON: Carteen Sraven.
CARTEEN: What?
MYSTERIOUS PERSON: Rise.
CARTEEN: I can't. I'm attached to a metal slab that is obviously remote-controlled.
MYSTERIOUS PERSON: Oh, right.
{Then ominous music plays as we see the slab with Carteen Sraven, who looks like he's encased in a metal box with robotic arms, rise.}
CARTEEN: Okay, why am I stuck in a box?
MYSTERIOUS PERSON: Because you're not ready yet. In a matter of time, you will see that my technology can do wonders.
CARTEEN: So who are you?
MYSTERIOUS PERSON: I shall tell that to you later. Just know that I am the one who saved you from dying. {mumbling} After all, keeping you alive will help me. {more mumbles}
CARTEEN: What? I can't hear what you're saying! Also, can I get off this slab now?
{Cut to Gunhaver in front of the Alpha 1260.}
GUNHAVER: {singing} On the moon, get here real soon. The email's in the back and he's smashing cocoons. {stops singing} I dunno, I thought it rhymed.
ALPHA STAN:Hello Gunhaver. You have eight unread emails.
GUNHAVER: Cool!
{Gunhaver presses enter to make the following email appear on the screen.}
Subject: ASDFThis is a job for the Action
-Theeeeeeeeeeeeee Person
Squad Detective Force.
GUNHAVER: {reading} This is a job for the Action Squad Detective Force. Theeeeeeeeee {Gunhaver says the for ten seconds before stopping} Person. {typing} Um, for copyright infringement prevention reasons (CIPR), I'd like to change the email a bit.
{Gunhaver edits the email to make it looks like this.}
Subject: ASDFThis is a job for the Action
-T. Person
Squad Destruction Force.
GUNHAVER: Well, that's better, but that doesn't save this email from deletion. Speaking of which... DELETED!
ALPHA STAN:
DELETED!
Well done, Gunhaver. You sure showed him/her how to punch a cow.
GUNHAVER: "HOW TO PUNCH A COW???" I'll have to look in the Alpha 1260 manual about this. Anyway, why did I edit an email I deleted? I'm going to see what's on the TV.
{Cut to the living room, where Steve and Reynold are watching TV. Gunhaver comes before we zoom in on the TV.}
TV ANNOUNCER: Last time on Pokemon...
GUNHAVER: {offscreen} This show sucks.
STEVE: {offscreen} No, it doesn't.
ASH: {on TV and in Blue Laser's Voice} YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, GUNHAVER!
{Zooms out to see the Cheat Commandos on the Couch with cold ones}
GUNHAVER What?! How does the TV know my name?
REYNOLD: I think that somebody hacked into-
STEVE: Shut up, Reynold! I think that somebody hacked into the TV Mainframe.
GUNHAVER: Good thinking, Steve! Nobody like Me or Reynold could of thought of that... Hey, wait a minute! Do you actually think that you're going to make me go on a moronic mission with you two morons? Puh-lease! I know that this is a good chance for us to do meaningless crap, time travel, go to the DVD store, have burgers, and then just leave me in an abandoned Blue Laser Headquarters where I sleep and we don't know what happens afterwards. Well, guess what. Screw this!
{Gunhaver leaves.}
STEVE: {sadly} How did he know about the mission we were about to go on?
REYNOLD: Gunhaver's acting a bit weird these days, as if he knows the future.
{Cut to a futuristic timecard, where the words look futuristic.}
9(X-1)6 Years Later...
{Cut to 30X1, which looks extremely darker than 20X6, for the world is tired from war. Cut to a base that seems to be hidden in a strong shield. Cut to the interior, where Guninator is walking down a corridor, talking to Commander Blaze.}
GUNINATOR: Commander, do you think that our reinforcements are being attacked by Ultramarine Laser's forces?
COMMANDER BLAZE: What makes you think that?
GUNINATOR: They're supposed to be here seven months ago!
COMMANDER BLAZE: And your point is?
GUNINATOR: Ugh, forget about it. You probably don't care at all.
{Then Dr. Reynolds comes.}
DR. REYNOLDS: Commander Blaze? Guninator?
GUNINATOR: What?
DR. REYNOLDS: We received an email probably from Ultramarine Laser. I think that it means we're in danger right now.
GUNINATOR: Let me see the email.
{Then a small, circular pod floats to where they are. Then the pod lets out a hologram with the following words.}
Subject: ASDFThis is a job for the Action
-T. Person
Squad Destruction Force.
COMMANDER BLAZE: Couldn't you have gotten a better color scheme? I hate green.
DR. REYNOLDS: Who cares about that? Besides, it's lime. Anyway, this is an email we just salvaged from an eternal void. It seems like we are bound to be attacked by the Action Squad Destruction Force!
GUNINATOR: Of course! Especially since the Action Squad Destruction Force is Ultramarine Laser's most elite fighting group! If we don't react, we're bound to be doomed!
COMMANDER BLAZE: Guninator, gather as much Chabarg Commandos as you can, and make sure they are in the elite group.
GUNINATOR: Yes sir!
{Guninator runs off. Pan up to reveal a tiny pod with lens. Cut to a dark room, where Ultramarine Laser is talking to an Ultramarine Underling.}
ULTRAMARINE LASER: I just got an idea from Guninator through the surveillance camera in the Chabarg Commandos' base. Bring to me the Action Squad Destruction Force.
ULTRAMARINE UNDERLING: Yes master.
{Cut to a battleground. A ship lands on the ground and opens. Guninator, Ripper-Wan Kenobi, and Disputant Rogue jump out of the ship and look around.}
GUNINATOR: They should be here any minute now.
RIPPER-WAN: I sense a disturbance in the...
DISPUTANT ROGUE: {pointing} There they are!
{Cut to where Disputant Rogue is pointing to. Three ships (one blue, one red, and one green) are flying at high-speed towards the Chabarg Commandos. Guninator steps forward.}
GUNINATOR: Leave this to me.
{Guninator shoots a plasma energy ball out of his cannon arm at the red ship. Suddenly, the red ship deflects the energy ball back at Guninator, Ripper-Wan, and Disputant Rogue, who jump out of the way to avoid getting hit. Then the three ships begin shooting lasers at the Chabarg Commandos. Ripper-Wan stands up, ignites his green lightsaber, and uses it to deflect all of the lasers. Soon, the three ships land as the three members of the Action Squad Destruction Force (Killer Red, Killer Blue, and Killer Green) walk toward the Chabarg Commandos.}
KILLER RED: Well, well, well. What have we here?
KILLER BLUE: Looks like we've got ourselves some rebel scum right here! Our boss will be pleased with their elimination.
KILLER GREEN: So let's eliminate them!
{Then the ASDF walk menacingly towards the Chabarg Commandos.}
GUNINATOR: ATTACK!
{Guninator runs to Killer Red and knocks him to the ground. Disputant Rogue summons two advanced laser guns out of thin air and shoots them at Killer Green, who uses a machine to conjure a shield to absorb the laser. Ripper-Wan ignites his lightsaber and faces Killer Blue, who ignites his blue lightsaber. The two swordsmen/lightsabermen start fighting with their lightsabers.}
{Cut to Guninator fighting Killer Red. He punches Killer Red with his fist and his mechanical claw-like one, sending Killer Red onto the ground. Then he shoots a plasma energy ball at Killer Red, but he rolls out of the way and strikes Guninator with a whip made of plasma energy, sending Guninator a few feet away from Killer Red. As for Disputant Rogue, he continues shooting lasers that can't penetrate Killer Green's shield. As for Ripper-Wan and Killer Blue, they just keep on fighting by deflecting their lightsaber attacks repeatedly. Cut to Guninator fighting Killer Red. Killer Red is repeatedly whipping Guninator with his whip. Just then, Guninator grabs the whip with his mechanical claw and pulls it from Killer Red. Just as he is about to whip Killer Red, Killer Red presses a red button on his armor to make the whip wrap around Guninator and make him disappear. Disputant Rogue and Ripper-Wan notice this and gasp.}
DISPUTANT ROGUE: Gasp! Guninator's gone!
{Just then, Killer Green throws the shield at Disputant Rogue, pinning him to the with the shield. Then Killer Green gets out a laser gun and shoots it at Disputant Rogue to stun him.}
RIPPER-WAN: No!
{Then, Killer Blue swipes with his lightsaber to slice Ripper-Wan's lightsaber hilt into two halves.}
RIPPER-WAN: Well, I guess this sucks.
{Cut to a large castle guarded by several gates and futuristic security measures in the middle of a large city. There are holograms of Ultramarine Laser everywhere. The three ASDF ships fly to the castle. Cut to a dark room, where Guninator is chained by energy chains and trapped in a pillar made of energy. Killer Green and Killer Blue come in and put Disputant Rogue and Ripper-Wan in the same types of prison.}
GUNINATOR: {slightly distorted} You got caught too?
RIPPER-WAN: {slightly distorted} Yeah, and I can't believe it.
DISPUTANT ROGUE: {slightly distorted} I think they cheated.
{Just then, a door opens as we hear footsteps. The three captives stare at the new arrival.}
ULTRAMARINE LASER: {voice} Hello rebels. How nice of you to join me today. I think it's high time for us to discuss about the whereabouts of the rebel Chabarg Commando base.
{Extremely ominous music plays.}
{Cut to the present, where Gunhaver is walking down a corridor. He faces the camera.}
GUNHAVER: Hey, there's nothing else I'm going to do today. I have to train 1-Up to be a good Cheat Commando so he doesn't kill himself, since he doesn't know how to use a gun. So... bye.
{Gunhaver walks off-screen. Alpha Stan appears on the wall, delivering his message.}
ALPHA STAN:Click here to email Gunhaver at GEmail.exe
Easter Eggs
- Click on the TV while Gunhaver leaves the TV room to see this extra scene:
{Reynold and Steve continue watching Pokemon.}
REYNOLD: You know, I have to agree with Gunhaver on this. This show does suck. I mean, every episode is repetitive in plot!
STEVE: {angrily} Shut up, you... non-Pokemon fan!
REYNOLD: {sarcastically} Wow, I'm intimidated.
STEVE: Good!
- Click on the email hologram to make the colors change their colors. However, this doesn't affect Commander Blaze's and Dr. Reynolds' comments afterwards.
Fun Facts
- The part with Carteen Sraven and the metal slab is based on the ads and/or trailers of Star Wars Episode III, particularly the teaser trailer. The exchange before the slab with Carteen Sraven rises is based on an exchange that's not in the actual movie ("Lord Vader." "Yes, master." "Rise.")
- To understand why Carteen needed to be saved from death, read this.
- The Action Squad Detective Force is from Bonus Stage.
- The part with Pokemon is almost directly from Anything. In fact, this scene leads to the plot of said email, which is summarized by Gunhaver.
- Guninator and an Ultramarine Underling were from Butterfly Effect.
- Ultramarine Laser, the Chabarg Commandos, and 30X1 were mentioned in said email.
- Ripper-Wan Kenobi is an obvious Star Wars reference. His name is based on Obi-Wan Kenobi.
- Gunhaver saying he's going to train 1-Up is based on Chibilichi Commandos 2 (a 1-Up email).
- Pokemon is an anime that used to be popular when it started. Now it is jumping the shark, I think (I haven't watched it in a while, so I don't know).
