Other Character Email Gunhaver/New Mission
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Summary
Gunhaver decides to bring Reynold along to a mission to prove to Jack-Jack why Reynold should not go on missions. Then Tomahaver saves the Cheat Commandos from their impending doom.
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Blue Laser, Carl, Lenny, Moe, and Barney, Silent Rip, Fightgar, HRWiki:Reinforcements, Reynold, Arrowhaver, Tomahaver
Lines: 103
Transcript
{Cut to Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001. He types ingunhaver_email.exe.}
GUNHAVER: I've got to email, da-ra-ra-ra-ra! I've got the email, da-ra-ra-ra-ra!
{Then Gunhaver presses enter to make the following email pop up. Then he reads it. For Jack-Jack, he says Jack and Jack.}
Dear G-Haver,
Can't you let Reynold go on
just ONE mission? Please? Oh,
whatever. I'm leaving. Reynold hater.
Jack-Jack
GUNHAVER: Ooh, G-Haver. That's a pretty sweet nickname. I oughta save this.
{Then Gunhaver types in the following.}
save_cool_nickname.exe
{After pressing enter, he gets the following reply on the Delta screen.}
Cool nickname saved
GUNHAVER: Ah, so good a nickname. I know I will enjoy it. Anyway, onto the email. {typing} So Jack 'n Jack... in the box, you want me to bring Reynold on a mission? Don't you remember that one Cheat Commandos Decemberween special where Reynold interfered with our mission because we brought him along? For once?
{Then there's static. Then we cut to a toy store with Gunhaver, Silent Rip, Fightgar, Crackotage, Reinforcements (who has traces of mouthwash on his lips), the four Blue Laser minions, and Blue Laser. Barney is holding a remote control.}
BLUE LASER: CODE, SCHMODE! JUST FIRE THE BLUE LASER AT THE MALL AT...
{Then Blue Laser points to somewhere past the broken toy store window. We then see that he's pointing at Reynold outside the toy store in the mall.}
BLUE LASER: ...THAT GUY!
REYNOLD: What? Me?
{Suddenly, Carl shoots some sort of binding at Reynold to trap him.}
{Then there's more static as we return to Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} Problematic. After that, we just left Reynold in the mall, but if you really want to see a full mission where Reynold comes along, that's fine with me, if there's a mission.
{Suddenly, sirens blare as pulsating red light fills the room. Gunhaver looks around in surprise.}
SILENT RIP: {off-screen} It's a Blue Las-alert!
GUNHAVER: {to Silent Rip} I know! Bring it up on screen!
{Then we cut to Gunhaver, Silent Rip, and Reynold in front of The Screen. Silent Rip presses a key to make an image of Blue Laser and his minions having ice cream sundaes.}
SILENT RIP: Blue Laser's been spotted at a local ice cream store!
GUNHAVER: Of course! Ice cream equals refreshments which equal refreshed minds which equals world domination! Cheat Commandos, let's rock, rock on!
{Then Reynold opens his mouth to speak.}
GUNHAVER: You don't need to say a word. You're coming.
REYNOLD: {happily} Really? Wow! Thanks!
GUNHAVER: Yeah, well, it's just to show people how you interfere with our missions.
REYNOLD: {sadly} Oh.
{Then we cut to the ice cream store. Suddenly, an airplane crashes into the parking lot, crushing all of the cars. Then Gunhaver, Reynold, Silent Rip, Crackotage, and Fightgar get out. Then we cut to a closer view of the Cheat Commandos walking towards the ice cream store.}
REYNOLD: You know? We could have just walked. I mean, it's a five minute walk, and riding the airplane took longer than that with all of the preparations. Plus, we destroyed a lot of cars!
GUNHAVER: Who cares? We stole that plane from Blue Laser, so it's his loss.
{Then we cut to the inside of the ice cream store. Blue Laser and his minions are there, but Moe is missing from the group.}
BLUE LASER: {to Moe} MOE!! YOU'D BETTER GET THE SUNDAES RIGHT NOW, OR ELSE...
GUNHAVER: {off-screen} Not so fast, Blue Laser!
{Then we hear the breaking of glass as Gunhaver, Fightgar, and Crackotage land onto the floor. Silent Rip flies into a wall. Reynold just walks to the scene. Blue Laser gets irritated.}
BLUE LASER: AUGH! NOT NOW! I THOUGHT YOU STOPPED THIS WHOLE RUIN MY DAY AND SUCH!
GUNHAVER: Well, we're back in action. Hit it, Cracky!
Crackotage: Eating ice cream is unhealthy, and that makes you even less stealthy! He, he, hah, hah!
GUNHAVER: Okay, now that's too moral and horrible.
{Then Arrowhaver walks to the scene and notices the newcomers.}
ARROWHAVER: {to Blue Laser} What the crap is going on here? You said that I would have my Super Sundae Deluxe X as soon as I come from this restroom, and I see no sundaes.
BLUE LASER: THAT'S BECAUSE MOE IS LAGGING!
ARROWHAVER: Also, you told me that the Cheat Commandos wouldn't come to ruin my Blue Laser initiation celebration. You know that this lowers your chances to know the secret.
GUNHAVER: Secret? What the crap?
REYNOLD: Anyway, I'm going to the restroom.
{Then we see Reynold walking past an orange line on the floor. Suddenly, all Cheat Commandos (Arrowhaver is not a Cheat Commando) are suddenly trapped in blue bubbles.}
FIGHTGAR: What the crap?
BLUE LASER: HAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FELL INTO MY UNINTENTIONAL TRAP! IT'S GIVEN TO ME FROM THE FUTURE BY THIS DARK SAPPHIRE VERSION OF ME. IT BASICALLY TRAPS YOU, AND IT CAN LITERALLY CRUSH YOU. SO NOW, I'LL CRUSH YOU ALL NOW! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
GUNHAVER: Are you sure you're not ripping off of other's people's work in the future?
BLUE LASER: Well, who cares? Anyway, prepare to be crushed!
ARROWHAVER: I've been looking forwards to this, Gunhaver!
GUNHAVER: You were always a bad friend!
{Then Blue Laser presses a red button on a remote control. Then the bubbles start contracting with the Cheat Commandos in them, crushing them slowly.}
GUNHAVER: REYNOLD! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! AND I TOLD YOU SO, JACK AND JACK!
REYNOLD: Stop yelling! It's making me feel worse than I should be!
TOMAHAVER: {off-screen} Stand back! I mean, whatever.
{Then Tomahaver jumps into the scene. Arrowhaver looks shocked.}
ARROWHAVER: Tomahaver??? My twin brother-in-law?
BLUE LASER: TWIN BROTHER-IN-LAW???
ARROWHAVER: Well, we like to call ourselves brother-in-laws, even though we're twin brothers.
TOMAHAVER: Arrowhaver, why did you have to join Blue Laser? You have disgraced our family name!
ARROWHAVER: Well, we don't even have a family name! That's why we have Commando names!
GUNHAVER: {straining inside bubble} Yeah, this reunion's great, but can you help us now, for it's really painful in here!
TOMAHAVER: Oh, okay. I know just what to do.
{Then Tomahaver goes to the orange line on the floor and takes out his tomahawk. He strikes down and cuts the orange line in half, making the bubbles disappear, freeing the Cheat Commandos who sigh in relief.}
GUNHAVER: Thanks, we owe you a spot in the Cheat Commandos.
TOMAHAVER: Yes!
Blue Laser and Arrowhaver: WHAT??
BLUE LASER: THAT'S IT! WE'RE LEAVING!
{Then Blue Laser, his four minions, and Arrowhaver walk away. Then we cut back to Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} So overall, that's why Reynold can't go on missions. Anyway, Tomahaver seems like he's pretty cool. Even cooler than Arrowhaver.
{Suddenly, an arrow whizzes past his head.}
GUNHAVER: Where did that come from?
{Then the Paper comes down, saying: Click here to email Gunhaver at gunhaver@homestarrunner.com.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on Arrowhaver to see this:
{We see Arrowhaver in a shooting range on Blue Laser's HQ's roof. Arrowhaver is looking for the arrow he just shot.}
ARROWHAVER: Where did it go? I could have sworn it flew towards the Cheat Commandos HQ. Oh well, this gets my mind off the horrible initiation celebration.
- Click on Reynold or Tomahaver to see this:
{We cut to Reynold and Tomahaver in a room.}
REYNOLD: So, my name is Reynold, one of the best Cheat Commandos.
TOMAHAVER: {raises tomahawk} Do you dare lie to me?
REYNOLD: Um, it looks like I'm the worst Cheat Commando then.
TOMAHAVER: Good.
{Then Gunhaver comes.}
GUNHAVER: Man Tomahaver, you rule already.
Fun Facts
- "Ah, so good a nickname. I know I will enjoy it" is based on a haiku said by Strong Bad in japanese cartoon.
- The whole Decemberween special is from one of my fanfiction in fanfiction.net about Decemberween in 1936/1937, 20X6 (which was a lame attempt in my opinion), the Cheat Commandos, and a parody of the Christmas Carol.
- If you want to know, Blue Laser was buying toy guns for the Blue Laser Babies, so the Cheat Commandos try to stop them while bringing along Reynold so they won't be suspected to be Cheat Commandos. Then Blue Laser decides to use the BLUE LASER (the deadly laser beam launcher) on Reynold. Foxface saves the day with her bulletproof handbag. After that, Reynold was left behind in the mall.
- This email is slightly based on Shopping for Danger with the Blue Las-alert and The Screen.
- This is the first actual Cheat Commandos mission in a while.
- Arrowhaver knowing a secret valuable to Blue Laser was first mentioned in Training.
- Blue Laser's trap is based on the force field trap in the Tampo email, saargtsson used to trap and try crushing Tampo, Brody, and Stlunko.
- When Blue Laser was explaining about his trap, he mentioned Dark Sapphire Laser.
- Tomahaver is a fake character made up by an anonymous person on the Wiki.
- If you don't know, a tomahawk is a light axe used by American Indians.
