Other Character Email Gunhaver/Robots
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Contents |
Summary
Contestro Sevornkey, sworn enemy of the Cheat Commandos, attacks the slightly weakened Cheat Commandos with the help of the Rusty Duck Clan and his Rusty Duck Clan robot.
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Gyro, Contestro, Rusty Duck Clan, Fightgar, Silent Rip, Reinforcements, Blast Maverick, Tomahaver, Joel Dawson (in the form of a robot)
Lines: 89
Transcript
{We cut to Gunhaver's computer room. Gunhaver and Gyro carry the Delta 1001 (fixed) onto the computer desk.}
GUNHAVER: Thanks Gyro. Never thought that you could be more useful to emails than this.
GYRO: Well, it's my job. Now I have to continue working on my latest invention. I should finish it soon.
{Then Gunhaver sits on his chair. Then we cut to the regular email-checking view with the Delta 1001 and Gunhaver's back.}
GUNHAVER: Let's bring up that one email I didn't get to answer.
{Gunhaver types inanswer_stored_email.exeand presses enter to make the following email appear. The words fuzzed out from before are now visible.}
Dear Gunhaver,
I've joined the Rusty Duck
Clan and we're comeing to
destroy you with our giant
robot.
Sincerely,
Contestro Sevornkey
{When reading comeing, he says, "com-e-ing."}
GUNHAVER: {typing} Oh, it's you. You're that jerk who ran off to Blue Laser because you didn't like me insulting your name. Just compare yourself to Reynold, man! I mean, when you realize that, then you should come back here like a metal to a magnet. What a scientific analogy.
{Gunhaver clears the screen.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} And why have you joined with the Rusty Duck Clan? I mean, now you'll be even more obscene than you should be, if you are obscene. That's all. I'll wait for something to happen. Anyway, next email.
{Gunhaver presses a button to make the following email appear.}
Dear Gunhaver,
We've fixed our robot and we're
coming to destroy you now.
-Randy
GUNHAVER: Yeah, whatever, you are DELETED!!!
{The Delta 1001 deletes the email.}
{Then we cut to a room. Contestro is inside his Rusty Duck Clan robot. The other members of the Rusty Duck Clan are standing below. The robot is turned on with success.}
CONTESTRO: Finally! The robot is working! Now I can finally get my revenge on Gunhaver!
RANDY: Well, why not the Cheat Commandos, just like you said?
CONTESTRO: Fine, Gunhaver and the rest of the Cheat Commandos. But you're not coming! This is something personal.
Rusty Duck Clan members: Aw...
CONTESTRO: Fine, you can come along, but you only do something when I say so.
DOUG: But why are we taking orders from you?
CONTESTRO: {makes the robot raise its foot above Doug} Because I'm paying all of you! Plus, I'm giving this robot to you guys when I'm done. Is that clear?
{Then we cut to the Cheat Commandos HQ, which is still slightly damaged from Blue Laser's attack. Then we hear marching as the Rusty Duck Clan members walk to the front of the HQ with the robot following. Gunhaver, Fightgar, Silent Rip, Reinforcements, Blast Maverick, and Tomahaver exit the HQ to see the newcomers and robot.}
TOMAHAVER: What the crap is going on? There are inexperienced ninjas everywhere!
FIGHTGAR: And they suck!
RANDY: Hey! Watch your mouth! We may be the ones that will make you fall to your doom!
BLAST MAVERICK: Nuh-uh, you loser!
CONTESTRO: Anyway, I'm going to crush you all with this cool Rusty Duck Clan robot I made so I can have my revenge.
BLAST MAVERICK: Let's take him down!
GUNHAVER: No, let me take care of him with an invention made by Gyro.
{Then Gunhaver runs inside the Cheat Commandos HQ. After a few minutes of the people outside just standing there, a rumbling is heard as the ground near them opens up. Then, a HUGE Joel Dawson robot is elevated to the ground level. Gunhaver is seen inside the robot's head.}
GUNHAVER: {from inside robot} Prepare to have your butt kicked!
CONTESTRO: Intimidating, but not intimidating enough.
RANDY: EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
{Then all of the Rusty Duck Clan members run away.}
CONTESTRO: Cowards. Anyway, let's fight.
{Then we cut to downtown Cheat City, where the Joel robot and the Rusty Duck Clan robot suddenly face each other at a street. Both robots are taller than the buildings, but the Joel robot is taller than the Rusty Duck Clan robot. Some sort of background music begins playing. Then we cut to a close-up of the RDC robot before going back to the normal view. Then there's another close-up of Contestro in the robot before going back to the normal view. Then we cut to a close-up of the Joel robot before going back to the normal view. Then there's another close-up of Gunhaver in the robot before going back to the normal view.}
GUNHAVER: Contestro, why do you want to join Blue Laser this much slash why do you want to destroy the Cheat Commandos this much? I mean, I only insulted your name!
CONTESTRO: That's exactly the point.
GUNHAVER: But compare that to how I treat Reynold. Compared to him, you're treated like a king!
CONTESTRO: But that's me being compared to Reynold. What about me being compared to Silent Rip? Or Flashfight? Or Reinforcements.
GUNHAVER: Good point, but... BEGIN FIGHT!
{Then the RDC robot charges towards the Joel robot and tries to punch it, but the Joel robot uses its two hands to block the punch. Then the RDC robot does a jump and tries to kick the Joel Robot when the Joel robot gets out a large metal bat and strikes the RDC robot with it. Then the Joel robot strikes down with the bat, but misses, terribly. Then the RDC robot punches the Joel robot. Then the Joel robot throws its bat like a boomerang, but misses. Then, the Joel robot punches the RDC robot in the face, seriously denting the robot head as the robot falls onto the ground. Then the Joel robot is about to step on the RDC robot when the RDC robot grabs the foot and throws it away. Then the RDC robot jumps in the air and lands on the Joel robot, seriously denting it. Just then, Joel grabs the RDC robot, spins around, and throws it away. Then the RDC robot stands up.}
CONTESTRO: You'll never defeat me!
GUNHAVER: I have to say, you're quite a challenge, but you'll still lose.
CONTESTRO: And why do you think that?
{Just then, the Joel robot's bat (used as a boomerang) flies right into the RDC robot's head, causing the whole robot to explode as the bat flies right into the Joel robot's hand. Then we see Contestro (charred) being sent flying away.}
CONTESTRO: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
{Then we cut to Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} And that, my dear Randy, is why the Rusty Duck Clan is NO GOOD! I wonder how Contestro is right now. Probably regretting challenging me. I wonder if Gyro knew that I used his Joel robot. Oh well.
{Then the Paper comes down, saying Click here to email Gunhaver at gunhaver@homestarrunner.com}
Easter Eggs
- Click on scientific analogy to see a book called, "A Lot of Scientific Analogies You Can Use."
- Click on Gyro or Joel robot at the end to see this:
{Cut to Gyro in his lab, a bit mad over the disappearance of his Joel robot.}
GYRO: Oh, I could have sworn that my Joel robot was left here! I hope nobody stole it, or is using without my permission to fight other robots for fun!
{Then the Joel robot falls onto the platform next to Gyro.}
GYRO: AHHHHHHHHH!!! JOEL ROBOT! You got some dents!
Fun Facts
- Contestro Sevornkey has been planning this attack since Hair (a Doreauxgard email) and Battle.
- The Rusty Duck Clan and Joel are from Matt Wilson's Bonus Stage (and originally, High Score).
- The fight between the Joel robot and the Rusty Duck Clan robot is slightly based on the fight scene in the newest Bonus Stage episode, Joel vs. the Monobrow.
- The metal bat used by the Joel robot is the bat Joel uses in season 6 in action sequences. The bat is originally from High Score Kids (a spin off of either Bonus Stage or High Score), where Joel's mother used the bat.
- The first email used in this email is from the previous email, except that some words were fuzzed out due to the damage done to the Delta 1001 in Camping. Also, the email in Battle wasn't answered.
- Gunhaver telling Contestro that if he joins the Rusty Duck Clan, he will be more obscene is referencing to how Bonus Stage is a webcartoon slightly inappropriate for people who are under 14.
- NO GOOD is from Teen Girl Squad Issue 3.
- The way the Joel robot was throwing the RDC robot is similar to how Mario throws Bowser, especially in Super Mario 64.
