Other Character Email Gunhaver/Time traveling 2
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Summary
Gunhaver time travels to 1938 to meet the Sneak Commandos in action. Then something goes wrong and Gunhaver gets stuck in 20X5.5, or maybe just 20X6. It depends on your point of view.
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Reynold (voice only), Flashfight, The Strong Bad, The Homestar Runner, The Barbershop Trio (voice only), Sir Gunsman, Cracker, Hostility Gentleman, The Quiet One, The Computer Geek, The Firebert, Foreign Fighter, Fortifications, Stinkoman, Jaro, 1-Up, Guntoshi, Crackoshu, Zengar, Silura, Ree, Firumon (Easter Egg)
Lines: 126
Transcript
{We cut to Gunhaver in front of the Delta 1001. He types in:gunhaver_email.exe.}
GUNHAVER: Email 30, sure is purdy.
{Gunhaver presses enter to make the following email appear on the screen. Gunhaver reads it.}
Dear Gunhaver,
Still got that Time Traveling Device?
I hope so. Because, I want you to go
back in time and destroy Blue Laser.
After that, Go back in time and meet
the Sneack Commandos!
-Mitchell Smith, Australia
GUNHAVER: Ah, if it isn't good ol' Mitchell. You haven't emailed me in a very long time.
REYNOLD: {off-screen} He just emailed you a few weeks ago that made you show people your Rangeresque movie!
GUNHAVER: So? On my watch, a few weeks is a lot of years.
REYNOLD: {off-screen} NO IT ISN'T!
GUNHAVER: Stop getting out of character and let me answer this email! {typing} Sorry you had to hear that. Reynold is on medication.
REYNOLD: {off-screen} NO I'M NOT!
GUNHAVER: {ignoring Reynold and typing} Well, it has been a while since I've used the time traveling program, but it doesn't work on the Delta, but it works on The Screen. Oh, and I can't go back in time to destroy Blue Laser, for there Flashfight's rule.
{We cut to a stage with Flashfight on the stage.}
FLASHFIGHT: Rule #1,894,023: You must not go back een time and deestroy Blue Laser, for that's no fun for us and wee'd not have a purpose een life.
{We cut to present-time with Gunhaver in front of The Screen.}
GUNHAVER: So here's the part where I set up the Time Traveling program.
{Gunhaver types inrun "time_travel.exe"to make the following appear.}
Welcome to Time Travel.exe, Version 2.0
1. Go back in time ______________ Where? ______________
2. Go forward in time ______________ Where? ______________
3. Be able to use remote control to go anywhere you want while time traveling (that'll be five dollars)
4. Cower
5. Back
GUNHAVER: Ooh, new stuff.
{Gunhaver types in some stuff on The Screen to make Gunhaver get sucked into a vortex shot from The Screen.}
{Then we go to 1938, black and white. The Strong Bad and The Homestar Runner walk up to a film projector with movie reels. The Strong Bad is holding a movie reel.}
The Strong Bad: You should be very lucky, for I won a contest where I with another person will watch an unreleased installment of the Sneak Commandos, only everybody but you were busy, so seeing this installment should get your admiration.
The Homestar Runner: What?
The Strong Bad: {sighs}
{Then we cut to a view of the movie projector counting down. Then we see the following.}
The Sneak Commandos A "cartoon" for "children" of "all ages." An unreleased installment. 1938. By Sir Antalorian Chimindar Doyle
The Barbershop Trio: {voiceover and singing} Sneak Commandos, they will save the day! Sneak Commandos, they will save the day. Sneak Commandos, they will save the day! Watch all of our productions day and day!
{Then we cut to a 1938 warehouse with Sir Gunsman (1938 Gunhaver), Cracker (1938 Crackotage), Hostility Gentleman (1938 Fightgar), and The Quiet One (1938 Silent Rip).}
SIR GUNSMAN: So I said to The Hued Ray: "Hup, hup, cheerio! You'd better eat no parsnips!"
{The Sneak Commandos laugh like gentleman. Then The Computer Geek (1938 Reynold) comes to the scene.}
THE COMPUTER GEEK: Yes, and because of that, I organized your thingamabobs so we can save time.
{As The Computer Geek says that, we see a wall with Flashing's (Flashfight) light bulb, Foxy Dame's (Foxface) bulletproof dress, Fortifications' (Reinforcements) bowler hat, Sir Gunsman's pistol, and The Quiet One's earmuffs. Then we go back to the scene in the factory.}
THE COMPUTER GEEK: I'm truly a genius.
{Suddenly, there is a large colored void that appears. The Sneak Commandos look at it with confusion and fear as Gunhaver pops out of the void.}
GUNHAVER: Wow, that was wicked. But why is everything black and white?
Sneak Commandos (except for Cracker): Ahh! We are being blinded!
{Then a large arm with a pencil appears as the pencil touches Gunhaver, making him black and white.}
SIR GUNSMAN: Ah, that's better. So who are you, stranger?
GUNHAVER: Uh, I'm Gunhaver, from the present, 2005, and I am a Cheat Commando squad leader, but not the actual leader. That's Flashfight. And I just time traveled because a person told me to do so by email.
THE QUIET ONE: {whispering} Such strange words.
HOSTILITY GENTLEMAN: I don't like this bizarre chap!
{Hostility Gentleman gets out a pistol and holds it at Gunhaver, who holds out his own pistol at Hostility Gentleman.}
CRACKER: What a said day for this chap, for he's going to be nothing but scrap.
{Then The Firebert (1938 Firebert) with a bomb, Foreign Fighter (1938 Ripberger) with a mallet, and Fortifications with a bowler hat that has a gun attached to it walk up to the scene, glaring at Gunhaver.}
THE FIREBERT: {showtime noises}
GUNHAVER: {to self} Man! Our ancestors suck. {to Sneak Commandos} Aren't you all supposed to stop Blue... I mean, Hued Ray from buying gruel from the depot on Free Gruel Day?
SIR GUNSMAN: Holy crud! We all forgot! Sneak Commandos, let's rock away!
{Then all Sneak Commandos walk away, leaving Gunhaver alone in the warehouse.}
GUNHAVER: Rock away??? Man, that is the lamest catchphrase for commandos ever, besides rock and roll. Well, I guess I should go back to the present.
{Gunhaver takes out a remote control and presses some buttons on it to do nothing. So, Gunhaver furiously presses some more buttons, but nothing happens. So, Gunhaver gets mad, throws the remote control to the ground, and begins jumping on the remote control. Suddenly, there is a big flash of white light as Gunhaver disappears, leaving the remote control and a five dollar bill behind, for that's how much he had to pay in order to do this.}
{Then we cut back to The Strong Bad and The Homestar Runner in the Movie Reel room.}
The Homestar Runner: That was certainly the worst six minutes of my day spent.
The Strong Bad: And that was certainly the worst four cents I've ever spent.
{Then we cut to 20X6, where Stinkoman is running down a field before bumping into a Jaro.}
Stinkoman: WHAAAAAAAAA!!!! How dare you make me bump into you! ARE YOU ASKING FOR A CHALLENGE???
{Suddenly, the Jaro glows in white light before growing into a large version of a Jaro with vampire-like wings, horns, claws, and legs.}
Mutant Jaro: YES! I AM!!!
Stinkoman: WHAAAAAAAAA!!!! You're standing on my favorite challenging spot! And you're taller than me! And fatter!
{Then 1-Up comes.}
1-Up: Let me help!
Stinkoman: No way! We have to watch the Chibilichi Commandos right now! Today, they're showing a lost episode!!!
Mutant Jaro: But, what about our challenge?
Stinkoman: We'll do it later.
{Then Stinkoman and 1-Up walk away, leaving the Mutant Jaro in disappointment.}
Mutant Jaro: I transformed for nothing. Now what are my friends going to say about my new look?
{Then we cut to Stinkoman and 1-Up watching the Chibilichi Commandos on a holo-widescreen TV. This is on the TV while the singers sing (the message is in Japanese/Engrish):}
The Chibilichi Commandos Episode Lost #: Dark Sapphire is has Doing Bad Written man he is: Asoko Chimida Made is 20X6
SINGERS: {in the tune of the Red Racer song} Chibilichi Commandos! They will save the day! Chibilichi Commandos! You must buy all of their stuff! Dabadabadabadabadabadaba.
{Then we cut to a futuristic HQ. Then we cut to the interior of that HQ, where Guntoshi, Crackoshu (20X5.5 Crackotage), Zengar, and Silura are standing.}
GUNTOSHI: So I said to the Dark Sapphire Laser: You'd better challenge yourself!
{Then Guntoshi, Crackoshu, Zengar, and Silura laugh anime-like, like how Stinkoman laughs. Then Ree comes.}
REE: Yeah, that's funny, and I organized your stuff.
{We see Guntoshi's death ray blaster, Silura's futuristic earmuffs, Stimulas' (20X5.5 Reinforcements) laser blasting backpack, Flashako's (Flashfight) crystal of light, and Foxychan's (Foxface) laserproof capsule on a wall before going back to the scene with the Chibilichi Commandos.}
REE: I'm truly a cool guy.
{Suddenly, there is a large black and white void as Gunhaver (still black and white) is thrown out of the void. Then a mechanical arm with a futuristic pen touches Gunhaver, turning him back to normal in color.}
GUNTOSHI: Who are you?
GUNHAVER: Oh crap, it's déjà vu.
{Then we cut back to Stinkoman and 1-Up.}
1-Up: I don't like this! I want pudding!
Stinkoman: Shut up!
{Then the Paper comes down, saying: Click here to email Gunhaver at gunhaver@homestarrunner.com. Then the following words appear in 1938 style writing English, English in modern writing, and Japanese, all saying the same words.}
To be continued
Easter Eggs
- Click on Stinkoman to see this:
{We cut to a floating supermarket in space in 20X5.5. A spaceship flies by the supermarket. Then we see the inside of the spaceship, where the Chibilichi Commandos (Guntoshi, Crackoshu, Zengar, Silura, and Firumon) are. Guntoshi is looking through futuristic X-ray binoculars.}
GUNTOSHI: Dark Sapphire Laser is obviously buying the free pudding on quadruple coupon day. He's going to use up the money to build a machine to melt Ice World!
{The Chibilichi Commandos are surprised.}
SILURA: But Sensei, what about Iceshashusahliko?
GUNTOSHI: There won't BE any more Ichshashusahliko!
{The Chibilichi Commandos gasp as futuristic ominous music plays.}
GUNTOSHI: {to Zengar} Zengar! Get into one of your transformation forms and do some undercover work!
- Click on 1-Up to see this:
{We cut to a depot with a hill. The Sneak Commandos (Sir Gunsman, Cracker, Hostility Gentleman, The Quiet One, and The Firebert) are on the hill, and Sir Gunsman is looking through a rusty telescope familiar to the one The Strong Bad uses.}
SIR GUNSMAN: Piffles! Hued Ray is taking advantage of Free Gruel Day by eating all of the gruel! With all of the saved pennies, he can build a contraption to freeze the beach!
{The Sneak Commandos are surprised.}
THE QUIET ONE: {whispering} But what about swimming in the ocean?
SIR GUNSMAN: There won't BE any more swimming in the ocean.
{The Sneak Commandos suddenly wave their noses in shock as 1938 ominous music plays.}
SIR GUNSMAN: {to Hostility Gentleman} Hostility Gentleman! Get into one of your costumes and spy on Hued Ray!
- Click on the picture of the Chibilichi Commandos behind Stinkoman and 1-Up to hear another one of Flashfight's rules.
FLASHFIGHT: {voiceover} Rule #1, 894, 024: Never eat your superiors' cookies.
Fun Facts
- This is one of the few times (or maybe the first time) Gunhaver talks about the email number.
- Reynold was referencing Rangeresque while Gunhaver was saying Mitchell (who sent Gunhaver emails more than once) was referencing that he last sent an email in Anime.
- The time traveling program's version 1.0 was in Time Traveling, which was on The Screen.
- Sir Antalorian Chimindar Doyle is parodying the writer of the Cheat Commandos episodes (and Here Comes the Strong Bad), A. Chimindez.
- The same goes for Asoko Chiminda, the writer of the Chibilichi Commandos.
- Sir Antalorian Chimidar Doyle's last name (Doyle) is the last name of the writer of the Sherlock Holmes books.
- The Barbershop Trio sang The Ballad of The Sneak.
- Sir Gunsman, The Computer Geek, and The Firebert were first made in No Loafing's Sneak Commandos. I made up the rest of the Sneak Commandos.
- The episode with the Sneak Commandos was parodying Shopping for Danger, the latest Cheat Commandos episode.
- The same goes for the episode the Chibilichi Commandos was parodying.
- Gunhaver talking about rock and roll is the worst catchphrase ever is based on the aforementioned toon in the above two fun facts, where Reynold says that if he was a leader of the Reynold Commandos.
- A Jaro is one of the easiest enemies in Stinkoman 20X6.
- The Jaro transforming into a mutant monster obviously too tough for Stinkoman is based on a Zelda Comic (you can access it in the HRWiki's Sightings page), where a simple bat usually easily beatable transforms into a freakish creature (named Carl) too powerful for Link and his friends to fight.
- The Chibilichi Commandos were made by me in Anime.
- The title card for the episode was in Engrish, which is how the writing in Stinkoman 20X6 is written.
- 1-Up wanting pudding is based on Under Construction, and in H*R Fanstuff Wiki, 1-Up is depicted as a guy in love with pudding.
- Iceshashusahliko is just a random word I made up. I thought it sounded Japanese, or something in a Japanese video game that takes place in the future.
- The next email will have Gunhaver not only answering the email, but trying to get back to 2005.
