Other Character Email Gunhaver/RPG/Deleted Scenes
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Contents |
Explanation
These scenes were deleted from the final version of RPG due to the fact that they made the email too long (with the deleted scenes, the email would have been about 327 lines long). They emphasize the fundamentals of RPG games and they might not be needed in the final version.
Note that some of the lines in these scenes were influenced by Super Sam, so his writing style is apparent in the following scenes.
Deleted Scene #1
Summary
Gunhaver and Homsar fight the earthworms, RPG style.
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Homsar, Earthworms
Transcript
{Cut to Gunhaver and Homsar facing three earthworms. Homsar goes to an earthworm.}
HOMSAR: A!!!!
{Suddenly, the screen turns into wide screen. Homsar and Gunhaver are on one side and the three worms are on the other. The words "READY" appears before being replaced by "SET", which is replaced by "FIGHT!" The number of HP each character has appears above them, with each earthworm having 2 HP.}
GUNHAVER: What is this?
HOMSAR: What do you think it is? It's a battle. Now, let me see if I have an RPG.
GUNHAVER: RPG or MP3, I'm going to kill them!
{Gunhaver tries to run to the earthworms, but he can't move from where he's standing.}
GUNHAVER: Another RPG fundamental?
HOMSAR: Yes, idiot. You have the slowest speed, so you go last.
GUNHAVER: What??? Are you calling me fat, you foo???
HOMSAR: Y-
{The earthworm closest to Gunhaver and Homsar squeals before thrusting its head into the air, making the words "Earthworm 1 attacked!". Suddenly, Gunhaver gets into an injured pose while the words "HP -1" flies away from Gunhaver. Then Gunhaver goes back into his standing pose.}
GUNHAVER: Okay, that hurt. {to Homsar} So you're going next, right?
HOMSAR: Nope. They all get to attack at once.
GUNHAVER: That's just bul-
{Suddenly, another worm attacks Gunhaver, making him lose 1 HP. The third worm attacks Gunhaver, making him lose 2 HP, making the words "CRITICAL HIT!" appear.}
GUNHAVER: Oh, why are they all attacking me??? I only have 18/22 HP remaining!
HOMSAR: I have Squeaky, which would probably neutralise most of their attacks. Anyway, DaAaaAaaAaAaAaAaaaAAA!!!
{Homsar continues to scream, making the words "Homsar attacked!" appear, making one earthworm get into a squirming position while losing 2 HP. Suddenly, the earthworm fades away. The words "Earthworm 1 killed." appear.}
HOMSAR: I'll teach him to mess with me. Okay, your turn. Don't screw up!
GUNHAVER: Right! I'll use my precious 1 Attack Point to kill the worms!
{Gunhaver goes into an attacking pose, making the words "Sidekick attacked!" After two seconds, the words "Sidekick's attack missed!" appears.}
GUNHAVER: WHAT???
HOMSAR: {laughing} Man, you really stink. {stops laughing} Anyway, you missed because the worms are faster then you, fatty.
GUNHAVER: No, I mean, why am I "Sidekick"???
HOMSAR: Because I am clearly much more awesome.
{Cut to the same scene with the words "Minutes and turns later...". Gunhaver has 12 HP left while an earthworm has 4 HP. Homsar attacks the other earthworm, killing it.}
GUNHAVER: Oh man, I can't do it! I'll either miss or not kill the worm! I mean, they scored two freakin' critical hits in a row! And it doesn't help that the earthworm's knowledge made it stronger AND able to attack in the same turn!
HOMSAR: Yeah, life sucks... but you are equipped with 4 Knowledge points, right?
{Pause.}
GUNHAVER: Geez, I'm such an idiot!
HOMSAR: Go figure.
{Gunhaver goes into a thinking pose, making the words "Sidekick uses Knowledge!" appear. Suddenly, the earthworm's HP decreases to 2 and the words "Earthworm #3 is disabled!" appear.}
HOMSAR: I'd compliment you on that, but you don't deserve it. Now, I shall kill this worm without any effort whatsoever.
{Homsar attacks the remaining earthworm to kill it. The words "Homsar and Sidekick win!" appear with victory music. The words "Homsar gets 100 EXP!" appear, making Homsar go from Level 1 to Level 2. As for Gunhaver, the words "Sidekick gets 40 EXP!" appear.}
HOMSAR: That was much easier then I expected. {looks at Gunhaver} You slowed me down, though.
GUNHAVER: No I didn't!
HOMSAR: You're just upset because I pwned you. {"+1 EXP!" appears over Homsar's head, and "-1 EXP." appears over Gunhaver's head. The words "pwned bonus" appear onscreen.}
GUNHAVER: Hey!
HOMSAR: Eh. Let's head off.
{Fade to black.}
Fun Facts
- This shows a lot of references to RPG games.
- Homsar shouting "A!!!!" refers to pressing the A button on Nintendo controllers to do various, primary functions, such as fighting, talking, or starting an RPG battle.
- Gunhaver references MP3 Players.
Deleted Scene #2
Summary
Gunhaver and Homsar find a weapon in the Earth Shrine.
Cast (in order of appearance: Homsar, Gunhaver
Transcript
{Cut to a room with a large treasure chest. The words "Several minutes, rooms, and fights later..." appear. Homsar (the game is still in his POV) and Gunhaver (next to Homsar) walk to the treasure chest.}
GUNHAVER: {off-screen} But seriously, how are you supposed to open the treasure chest without any hands?
HOMSAR: Who told you that?
{The treasure chest opens by itself. Suddenly, a green light flies from the treasure chest and into Homsar and Gunhaver. The words "Homsr and Gunhaver get Earth Power!" appear.}
HOMSAR: Wow, it's really green in here. {green light disappears}
GUNHAVER: {off-screen} Neat! We got weapons and Magic Points! I wonder what this does?
{Homsar looks at Gunhaver, who is shooting dust from his hands. He looks disappointed. Meanwhile, a green meter above Gunhaver is slightly depleted.}
GUNHAVER: Oh man! I wasted MP for this crap???
HOMSAR: Hmm... I wonder what happens if I test my power out?
{Homsar screams as the words "Homsar uses Earth Power!" Suddenly, there's a large earthquake (Gunhaver falls to the floor). Suddenly, a wall in front of Homsar crumbles, revealing a passageway. A green meter longer than Gunhaver's appears. It's slightly depleted.}
HOMSAR: Well, whaddaya know. {to Gunhaver} Let's go!
Fun Facts
- This has references to RPG games.
- MP refers to Magic Power, which is the amount of energy you have to use special attacks in RPG games.
- Gunhaver's remark about Homsar opening a treasure chest with no hands references to Lack of Visible Arms, a running gag on the Homestar Runner website.
Deleted Scene #3
Summary
Gunhaver and Homsar are finishing their battle against the Earth Demon, but this version is more in-depth.
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Homsar, Earth Demon
Transcript
{Cut to a battle between Gunhaver and Homsar versus a gigantic troll named "Earth Demon". The Earth Demon has 20 HP out of 80. Homsar is level 5 and Gunhaver is level 4. Homsar has had 11 HP depleted while Gunhaver has had 16 HP depleted. The words "Many minutes, rooms, and turns later..." appear. Then the words "Homsar uses Earth Power!" appear as Homsar's magic power meter is depleted even more (right now, only half remains). An earthquake occurs and the Earth Demon falls onto the floor, making the Earth Demon lose 12 HP.}
HOMSAR: All right! The victory's in the bag!
GUNHAVER: {sighs} Right. My useless powers will suddenly be deus ex machinas.
{Gunhaver puts his hands in front of him as the words "Sidekick uses Dust Power and Knowledge!", making Gunhaver's magic meter deplete completely. Suddenly, the words "Earth Demon is blinded!" appears while the Earth Demon loses 4 HP. Then Homsar attacks the Earth Demon with a normal attack, killing the Earth Demon, who crumbles into a large pile of rocks.}
HOMSAR: Well, that took a while, but I'm sure we'll have some form of fulfilling reward!
{A human child, presumably Eco, comes running out of a passageway.}
HOMSAR: This better not be our only reward, or I'm going to kill somebody.
Fun Facts
- This has references to RPG games.
