Other Character Email Gunhaver/Carteen
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Summary
If you remembered the last email, the Cheat Commandos were in trouble and Carteen is the ruler of thousands of brainwashed Cheats. How are things going to turn out in the fifth season finale?
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Alpha Stan, Puppet Unguraits, Carteen, Contestro, Cheats, Fightgar, Silent Rip, Reinforcements, 1-Up, Ripberger, Arrowhaver, Blast Maverick, Frostbite, Power Punch, BlastFit, Crackotage, Gyro, Unfinished Joel Robot, Shim-Sham-Sam (voice only), Rusty Duck Clan, Guntoshi, Blue Laser, Blue Laser Minions
Lines: 149
Transcript
{Cut to the following. The words are said by an announcer.}
Previously on Gunhaver Email...
{Cut to a puppet Gunhaver in front of a laptop computer with a post-it of Alpha Stan attached to the screen.}
PUPPET GUNHAVER: I got an email about Unguraits. I think they suck!
{Cut to puppet Unguraits in front of a dollhouse and a box with a computer screen drawn on the front.}
PUPPET UNGURAITS: Wah! Puppet Gunhaver... I mean, Puppet Gunhaver insulted us on public television! So, let's do something!
VOICE: Why not steal and frame two Cheat Commandos?
PUPPET UNGURAITS: Great idea!
{Cut to Puppet Carteen and Puppet Contestro in front of The Cheat dolls.}
PUPPET CARTEEN: Now that we've brainwashed you, you're all my slaves!
PUPPET CONTESTRO: Yay!
{Then Puppet Contestro is thrown away by the puppeteer.}
PUPPET CARTEEN: Now attack the Cheat Commandos!
{Cut to a black screen with the following words.}
GUNHAVER EMAIL #62: Carteen
{Cut to the army of Cheats in front of the Cheat Commando HQ. They have torches and guns. Cut to a room in the Cheat Commandos HQ. Fightgar, Silent Rip, Reinforcements, 1-Up, Ripberger, Arrowhaver, Blast Maverick, Frostbite, Power Punch, BlastFit, and Crackotage are preparing for battle. Cut to Gunhaver in the laboratory with Gyro.}
GUNHAVER: I KNOW this is Carteen's fault, and Contestro once said that the Joel robot can defeat Carteen. So, you done?
GYRO: Well...
GUNHAVER: What do you mean by that?
GYRO: I finished most of it so that it can function and fight, but it's not to it's full potential.
{Cut to the room with the Joel robot. The Joel robot looks like Joel in his season 1 – 2 design and the robot looks like some robotic parts need to be nailed in.}
GUNHAVER: {off-screen} So can it use the baseball bat?
GYRO: {off-screen} No.
GUNHAVER: {off-screen} D'oh!
{Cut to Gunhaver in front of the Alpha 1260.}
GUNHAVER: I might as well check an email before fighting Carteen and his army.
ALPHA STAN:Hello Gunhaver. You have six unread emails.
GUNHAVER: SIX??? Whoo-hoo! A new record! Okay, so maybe I should stop reacting to this whenever this happens.
{Gunhaver presses enter to make the following email appear on the screen.}
Subject: ooooooo!My Cheerios say OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
GUNHAVER: {reading} Cheerios say ooooooooooooooooooooo... Yeah, that's real great. Just the email I need when the Cheat Commandos are at a time of crisis. Yeah, just great, and I think you're DELETED!!!
{Then the DELETED sequence occurs, which goes like this.}
DELETED!
GUNHAVER: Whoa! That DELETED sequence was cool! Anyway, I think I ought to go fight now.
{Cut to outside the Cheat Commandos HQ. The Cheat Commandos (minus Gunhaver) run out and begin shooting at the Cheats, making some run away. The ones hit by the Cheat Commandos' tranquilizing darts fall, unconscious. 1-Up shoots lasers out of a gun at Cheats, knocking them out cold. Still, the Cheat army is overpowering the Cheat Commandos. Just then, a tank breaks out of the Cheat Commandos HQ and starts shooting blasts at several Cheats, knocking them all unconscious.}
{Cut to a room with monitors in the Cheat Commandos HQ. Gunhaver and Gyro are watching the battle.}
GUNHAVER: Oh cool. Flashfight came to the rescue with his tank. Now we'll win in no time.
GYRO: Gunhaver, I think it's high time for you to use the Joel robot to defeat Carteen. If we don't defeat him soon, who knows if he will come up with another plan like this?
GUNHAVER: But I thought that the final fight was supposed to take place on email 75!
SHIM-SHAM-SAM: {voice} No, it's this email.
GUNHAVER: Oh, all right, we just somehow broke Wall 4 on the second floor.
GYRO: Oh, well, I'll get the robot ready.
{Cut to the battle outside. The Cheat Commandos are doing pretty well against the Cheat army, especially since they have a tank. Nobody is killed, since the Cheat Commandos are using tranquilizing darts. Just then, a hole is opened in the ground as the Joel robot is lifted to the ground on a platform.}
GUNHAVER: {from robot} Get ready to get your butts kicked!
{The Joel robot raises its right foot and then accidentally kicks the Cheat Commandos tank with Flashfight inside, sending it flying into some trees. The tank is upturned over some crushed trees.}
GUNHAVER: {from robot} Oops, I guess I'll go fight Carteen now.
{Cut to a stadium located next to the CS HQ. Carteen is standing in front of the machine from Contestro. Just then, the Joel robot falls from above and lands on the ground.}
CARTEEN: Gunhaver, I thought you'd come in that robot, but I never thought that it'd be a ramshackle like that.
GUNHAVER: Shut up. I'm supposed to be using it against Contestro's Rusty Duck Clan robot in the future.
CARTEEN: I know, which was why I sent Contestro to destroy the robot and the creator. Well, I can still defeat you with my robot that uses both my and Contestro's computer chips.
{Then Contestro does a flip jump/leap into an opening on the top of the machine. After going inside, the opening is sealed as the machine transforms into a large robot with Carteen's head. The robot has four large arms, two of which have cannons for hands. The robot's surface has a large number of spikes.}
CARTEEN: {inside robot} I must bring an end to our relationship! DIE!!!!!
{The robot shoots an energy ball from each of its cannons at the Joel robot, sending it flying into a wall far away.}
GUNHAVER: {inside robot} Hey! That wasn't fair! I wasn't ready!
{Then Carteen's robot dives at the Joel robot and punches it in the "gut," creating a large dent.}
CARTEEN: {inside robot} Face it! Things are hopeless for you!
{Just then, the Joel robot pushes Carteen's robot away and punches it in the face, doing little damage. Then the Joel robot jumps into the air. Just then, Carteen's robot shoots bullets out of its cannons at the robot, making it fall to the ground. Then Carteen's robot raises its foot above the Joel robot's head.}
CARTEEN: {inside robot} This is it, Gunhaver. You're doomed. There are no deus ex machinas to save you now!
{Then Carteen's robot's foot slams onto the Joel robot's head, blowing up the robot. Just then, Gunhaver lands on the ground, all right, but slightly burnt.}
GUNHAVER: Ouch! I thought being the star of the show means that I will never sustain any injuries or be humiliated by the villain!
CARTEEN: {inside robot} What??? You're still alive? Well, now that you're unarmed, I can kill you easily. Now what do you want, the quick and painless death, or the slow and painful one?
{Gunhaver gets up.}
GUNHAVER: Uh, is there a third choice?
CARTEEN: {inside robot} NO!
{Then Carteen's robot shoots a beam at the ground near Gunhaver, sending him flying away. Then the robot walks towards Gunhaver.}
CARTEEN: {inside robot} And now, it is time for me to achieve victory after a meaningless fight once and for all!
{Just then, there is an explosion as Carteen's robot falls into a small hole.}
CARTEEN: WHAT THE???
CONTESTRO: {off-screen} GET HIM!!!
{Just then, Rusty Duck Clan members run to Carteen's robot and begin denting it with metal bats. Just then, the robot gets up and swats the Rusty Duck Clan members away.}
CARTEEN: WHAT THE???
{Then Contestro runs to Gunhaver.}
CONTESTRO: Gunhaver, remove the two computer chips attached to the robot! That's the only way we can defeat Carteen Sraven!
GUNHAVER: Why are you helping me all of the sudden?
CONTESTRO: Look, get this straight. We're not going to be friends or permanent allies. We both just hate Carteen as he hates the both of us. Now let's fight!
GUNHAVER: Right!
{Then Contestro and Gunhaver run to Carteen's robot as it gets out of the hole created by Contestro.}
CARTEEN: {inside robot} Aww... cute, you're working together. Now DIE!!!
{Then Carteen's robot begins shooting lasers at Gunhaver and Contestro. They dodge the lasers and jump onto the robot. Gunhaver instantly finds a computer chip. Then he gets out his gun and shoots the chip, shattering it into pieces.}
CARTEEN: {inside robot} No! That was the computer chip that gives me brainwashed slaves! Now I don't have any!
GUNHAVER: Well, that's great!
{Just then, Carteen's robot spins around so rapidly, that Gunhaver and Contestro are thrown off and land on the ground.}
GUNHAVER: Ow!
CONTESTRO: Wait! I'll be right back!
{Contestro runs off-screen.}
GUNHAVER: Come back! I know you're just running away!
{Carteen's robot walks to Gunhaver.}
CARTEEN: {inside robot} Heh, too bad. Your only hope just ran away from you.
{The robot grabs Gunhaver.}
CARTEEN: {inside robot} Any last words?
CONTESTRO: {off-screen} Funny you should ask that question!
{Just then, a Rusty Duck Clan robot (with Contestro inside) runs to Carteen's robot and punches the back. Cut to where the robot punched, where we can see a shattered computer chip. Just as Carteen's robot accidentally drops Gunhaver to the ground (again), the robot begins malfunctioning and smoking. Cut to inside the robot, where Carteen is frantically pushing buttons.}
CARTEEN: No, not this! After all I've went through! Everything's wasted! I'm ruined! I lost!!!
{Cut to the robot. Gunhaver and the RDC robot run away just as Carteen's robot blows up in a huge, multicolored explosion.}
{Cut to 20X5.5, where Guntoshi can be seen from a large Guntoshi robot. Blue Laser is in front of the robot, exhausted and terrified.}
GUNTOSHI: I have to destroy you so my ancestors can be victorious!
BLUE LASER: NO!!!!!!!
{Just then, there is a multicolored flash of light as Blue Laser disappears and Carteen takes his place.}
CARTEEN: Crap, I'm back in the present, where I am an outcast.
GUNTOSHI: Carteen??? You were Blue Laser all along? Sweet! Now I can kill you!
{Then the Guntoshi robot charges up an energy ball and shoots it at Carteen.}
CARTEEN: What the...
{Carteen looks at the energy ball coming his way and screams just before there is a large explosion. Cut to the present, where the Cheat Commandos and Contestro are outside the CS Blue Laser HQ.}
GUNHAVER: Okay, let's cut to the chase. Thanks for helping.
CONTESTRO: Whatever. I just helped you since we both hate Carteen. Now since he's defeated, we're enemies again.
{Cut to a close-up of Gunhaver.}
GUNHAVER: Yeah, so you'd better run. Or else, we'll kick your butt!
{Pan out to reveal Contestro's gone.}
GUNHAVER: Oh, never expected him to actually do that. All right Cheat Commandos, it's time for us to go back to the Cheat Commandos Headquarters Playset.
{Gunhaver and the Cheat Commandos walk off-screen. Just then, there is a multicolored flash as Blue Laser appears.}
BLUE LASER: WHAT THE... HEY, I'M BACK! NOW I CAN CONTINUE TO CRUSH THE CHEAT COMMANDOS!
{Then Blue Laser's minions walk onscreen with leis on. They look shocked at Blue Laser's sudden return.}
CARL: Sir, you're alive!
BLUE LASER: WHAT, YOU THOUGHT I WAS DEAD?
{There are some mutters within the Blue Laser minions.}
BLUE LASER: WHATEVER. LET'S GO BACK INTO THE HEADQUARTERS WHERE WE CAN CONTINUE PLOTTING THE CRUSHING OF THE CHEAT COMMANDOS!
BLUE LASER MINIONS: Yes sir!
{All of them walk off-screen. Alpha Stan appears on a wall.}
ALPHA STAN:Click here to email Gunhaver at GEmail.exe
{After 10 to 15 seconds, we hear Carteen's voice.}
CARTEEN'S VOICE: It's not over yet, Gunhaver. It's not over yet. I'll be back.
Easter Eggs
- Click on a lei dropped by a Blue Laser minion to see this:
{Blue Laser and his minions are at the stadium, which looks like a big mess from the previous battle.}
BLUE LASER: WHAT THE CRAP HAPPENED HERE? {to minions} MINIONS, YOU'RE GOING TO CLEAN THIS ALL UP BEFORE WE CRUSH THE CHEAT COMMANDOS!
{Barney groans.}
BLUE LASER: I heard that!
Fun Facts
- Do know that this is not the absolute end of Carteen Sraven.
- This email continues from Unguraits 2, as you can see in the puppet segment in the beginning.
- Gunhaver saying Contestro saying that the Joel robot can defeat Carteen is referencing to Monument.
- The Joel robot is not only based on season 1 and 2 Joel from Bonus Stage, but it's also based on the robot from Robots.
- "D'oh" is Homer's catchphrase in The Simpsons.
- Just so you know, Cheerios are a popular brand of cereal.
- This is the first time we see the Alpha 1260 delete something.
- 1-Up's weapon is based on his toy gun from funny.
- What Carteen says after getting into his robot is what is said in the Gamecube came, Star Fox: Assault.
- Contestro being associated with the Rusty Duck Clan references to Evil, Doreauxgard Email: Hair, Battle, and Robots.
- His RDC robot are from the aforementioned robots, minus Evil.
- To understand why Contestro's suddenly against Carteen, read Unguraits 2.
- To understand why Blue Laser was in the future the whole time, read this.
