Other Character Email 1-Up/rootbeer

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

1-UP EMAIL 115!

1-Up drinks root beer for the first time, but it turns out to be root beer that had been poisoned. 1-Up dies and returns to heallven.

Cast (in order of appereance): 1-Up, Ungurait #1, Ungurait #2, Ungurait #3, Ungurait #4, Contestro, Kyle, Satan, Joel Dawson, Phil Argus, Milkman, Henry, Doctor

Transcript

{Cuts to 1-Up, the Unguraits, Kyle and Contestro following the Possessed Squid into the lair where Delta, Alpha, Beta and Yuta are sittig at a table}

DELTA: Uh, it looks like you were followed.

POSSESSED SQUID: No way.

{The Possessed Squid turns around and notices 1-Up}

POSSESSED SQUID: Oh, uhh. {turns back to the bad guys} Right, umm.

DELTA: Stowaways, show yourselves!

{1-Up, the Unguraits, Kyle and Contestro all walk over to the Debug Force}

1-UP: Who are you guys?

BETA: You imbecile! You led 1-Up and the Unguraits here!

1-UP: I'm assuming you guys are the one who have been sending those guys to kill us?

YUTA: Yes, indeed.

{Delta, Beta and Alpha look at Yuta in surprise}

DELTA: You'll be replaced by Omega now. At least until, we find ouut what is wrong with you.

YUTA: Aw, man.

{Alpha grabs Yuta and walks with him, until they are offscreen}

BETA: Now, 1-Up. You might now understand that-

1-UP: Wait. You're Beta. I saw you in 40X6, you were going to 20X6.

DELTA: That was us from the past. You see, project X was Strong Bad's second Stinkoman prototype. We were able to upgrade him, but we forgot to scan him for glitches, and soon enough, when we reactivated him, a glitch took over his systems making him overpower us into doing his dirty work.

UNGURAIT #1: What does the Ungurait Pharoah have to do with this?

BETA: We needed his DNA. When his DNA is combined with the Dark Elf's magical powder, it can make a deadly chemical that'll completely destroy Planet K.

1-UP: Why do you want to take over 20X6 and Planet K?

BETA: Well, Master X wants to be the real Stinkoman and be "the guy". But, to do that, we'll need to take over all 20X6 email shows on the fanstuff wiki, starting with yours. If we destroy Planet K with this deadly magical chemical, all email shows based on Planet k in 20X6 with be forced to move to the planet that Master X owns.

1-UP: He has a planet of his own?

DELTA: We were able to send machines to certain planets and take a little bit of each planet to make a gravitational sheild, keeping all air, in the known universe, on our planet. Everyone will be forced to come here on their own survival.

1-UP: Monster!

BETA: Unfortunately, the Ungurait Pharoah left and we can't find him. His DNA has the abilaty to destroy, rebuild or rule over Planet K.

1-UP: But, that means that, there is a possibility that-

DELTA: ...the Ungurait Pharoah can stop our plans and take over Planet K himself? Yes, we know.

BETA: We're willing to make an agreement. If you guys can get the ungurait Pharoah and the Dark Elf back, then we'll take over 2006 instead of 20X6.

1-UP: That's even worse! First of all, the Unguraits live there! second of all, 20X6 would get effected anyway because you'd be rulers of Planet K, further in past!

BETA: Fine. But, we both want to get rid of the Ungurait Pharoah, so you're going to do it anyway. Deal or not. Since nobody else will, you'l stupidly risk your life to save the world just like you've always done.

1-UP: {angry} Fine. You got yourself a deal. But, you better keep to your end of the deal.

DELTA: Until then, we're taking your friends.

{Beta gets out of his chair and pushes two Unguraits, Kyle and 1-Up out of the lair, while Unguarait #3, Contestro and Ungurait #4 are stuck in the lair. But, before 1-Up or anybody else can react, the lair locks itself up as a green sheild appears around it which turns the lair and itself invisible}

1-UP: {gets up} Oh no.

UNGURAIT #1: What's going to happen to them if we fail our mission?

1-UP: I have no idea.

{Sad, dramatic music starts to play as the screen fades to black. Cuts to 1-Up standing in front of his computer with two Unguraits and Kyle}

1-UP: {singing} E-M-A-I-L! Email, email! Go, go!

{An email pops up on the Lappotron}

Dear the uppity one,
How much root beer have you ever drank in one sitting?
My friend Dan can drink a full 7 litres of the stuff.
I drank only 6 litres.
-Try in yourself,
Goatee

{1-Up reads the email}

1-UP: {typing} Hmm, I've met Dan before. I diddn't know that he drunk beer. Maybe, I should try some.

UNGURAIT #1: But, it's illegal for children under the age of 18 to drink beer.

1-UP: Yes, yes. But, I'm a robot. It won't effect me.

KYLE: But, what about the fact that you run on a humanoid program, thus making you get human reactions to anything that happens to you.

1-UP: Oh, so I can't have root beer?

{The camera zooms in on the two Unguraits and Kyle}

UNGURAIT #1: No, but-

{The camera zooms out to view that 1-Up is gone}

UNGURAIT #1: {sighs} Come on. We better get him before the police do.

{The two Unguraits walk offscreen. Cuts to 1-Up standing in front of Bubusuke inside his floating mall}

1-UP: Do you sell root beer?

BUBUSUKE: Yup. We sell all kinds of beer.

1-UP: Well, here's my fake I.D.

{1-Up gives Bubusuke a tiny peice of card saying "5% Off Washing Bills" and Bubusuke swaps it for some root beer}

1-UP: {takes root beer bottles} Thanks for the cold ones.

BUBUSUKE: It was no problem at all. Thanks for the coupon.

1-UP: {angry} Coupon?!

{Cuts to 1-Up at a table in one of the Stinkoman HQ's rooms, drinking the root beer}

1-UP: {drinking root beer} That's some good cold-

{1-Up dies and falls to the ground}

SIGMA: {offscreen} Good. We poisoned him successfully. Now we have to take the talismans and use them with the Dark Elf's magic and a peice of the Ungurait Pharoah's DNA to make a potion that'll easily put us in full control of 20X6.

{Sigma walks onscreen. Fade to black. Cuts to 1-Up laying on the ground in Heallven}

1-UP: {tired, opening eyes} Eergh, not this place again.

{1-Up gets up and walks over to Satan who is talking to Joel Dawson and Phil Argus}

SATAN: ...and so, you two shouldn't really be doing that to a-

1-UP: Hey, what's going on here?

JOEL: Satan is explaining why Bonus Stage fell apart in episode 87.

1-UP: Umm, what's Bonus Stage?

PHIL: A webtoon in the real world that Joel sent us into.

1-UP: So, you guys are from the real world.

JOEL: Does "High Score" count as the "real world"?

1-UP: {short pause} Umm, no.

PHIL: Oh, then we'll see you later.

{Phil gets out his time machine and suddenly teleports out of Hellvean with Joel. Satan looks at 1-Up}

SATAN: Hey. You know, my mum makes some pretty disgusting pasta. You're just glad you're not in hell yet.

1-UP: Umm, why would I go to hell? I've never made a sin.

SATAN: Oh, really?

1-UP: Yes, really.

SATAN: Well, I'll be the judge of that.

{A TV screen comes down from the top of the screen and shows a video clip of 1-Up buying root beer with his "fake I.D"}

SATAN: Not only did you use a coupon as a fake I.D, but you also bought root beer. And the rules clearly sate that you can't have beer unless you're at least 18, or if you're a bending unit.

1-UP: Okay, I'm sorry. I admit it. Can I go now?

SATAN: No, you have to take your punishent.

{The TV dissapears and is replaced with the Heveanly 5000}

HEVEANLY 5000: How may I be of service today?

SATAN: I wish for this guy to be transported to the punishment room, level three.

HEVEANLY 5000: Wish confirmed.

{The background morphs into a new shape behind 1-Up, as he is transported into a white holigraphic room}

SATAN: {voice only} This is the room where all your fears become a reality. So- Umm, is that a milkman?

1-UP: Err, yes.

{A milkman walks onscreen and looks at 1-Up}

MILKMAN: No milk today, my love's gone away.

1-UP: NOOOOOO!

{The milkman dissapears in a holigraphic "fizzle" effect. A sign replaces him saying "No Pudding!"}

1-UP: N- n- no pudding...?

{1-Up falls to the ground, and repeatingly banging it on the floor}

1-UP: I can't take it! I CAN'T TAKE IT!

SATAN: {voice only} Ahahahahaha!

1-UP: {gets up} Oh, that's it!

{1-Up spin-kicks the air, but the holigram dissapears and the background begins to fizzle and crackle, followed by an explosion. The background and the sign dissapear to reveal 1-Up in a black room, and the air he kicked is replaced with a tiny box with millions of wires attached. Satan is standing next to the box}

SATAN: Aww, you destroyed the simulation. How am I meant to punish people now?

1-UP: Does the author even have permission to use this character?

SATAN: Pfft, no.

{Cuts to a Stinkoman clone in heallven, destroying people in heallven. 1-Up suddenly appears in that area and Henry wallks over to 1-Up}

HENRY: {looks up at 1-Up} Greetings, sir. It's nice to see you again.

1-UP: Umm, who are you again?

HENRY: It's me. The Greggo you met last time you came here.

1-UP: Oh, yeah. You. What have you been up to?

HENRY: That's classified information, which you are not allowed to know.

{Short pause}

1-UP: So, am I staying dead this time? How'd I die anyway?

HENRY: Well, the Debug Force were able to use their 40X6 technology to scan which bottle of root beer you'd buy in the future and put poison in it. Now, you are no longer a threat to them and they can beat the guy in a challenge, thus making Master X the new Stinkoman, also known as "the guy".

1-UP: Oh no! That stupid email killed me!

HENRY: Not quite. You see, you're bad metre has reached 45%, but your good metre is slowly dropping to 50% making your bad metre higher. Seeing as it keeps changing, you have no real place to go. Follow me.

{Henry and 1-Up walks into an elavator. Cut to the inside of the elavator where 1-Up and Henry are looking at five buttons}

HENRY: Press one.

1-UP: But, there's only five buttons. They are heaven, heallven, hell, Planet K and reality.

HENRY: Oh, sorry. The last one doesn't work. It's impossible for fictional characters to transport into reality. It only worked once, but we we faded from existance the exact minute we went to reality.

1-UP: Did you fix the wall?

HENRY: Wh- wh- what wall?

1-UP: {laughing} The fourth wall.

HENRY: {angry} Oh, ha ha. Very funny.

{1-Up stops laughing and presses the button that says "Planet K", and the elavator shoots out of Heallven and straight into the 20x6 universe where it zooms through space and lands on Planet K}

HENRY: Okay, we're in the past. Now, nobody can see us or hear us. So, don't even try.

1-UP: Umm, okay.

{1-Up walks over to the Big Ol' Tree which is actually really small}

1-UP: Umm, this isn't 20X6, is it?

HENRY: No. In fact, this isn't even Planet K. It is a planet called "Earth". The King of Town changed the named of the world to Planet K to prevent alien forces to ever come here again and challenge the gaurdian of Earth, the chosen one.

1-UP: {gasps} That's me.

HENRY: Well, not anymore. The exact day you lost your powers, the people beyond the universe could not scan your presence. Now that there is no chosen one, World War 3 came to action, and it's not going to be long before the war comes to Planet K.

1-UP: Hang on. What? How can my presence be the cause of World War 3?

HENRY: The people from above have this weird beleif that if there is no chosen one, then there is no peace. So, Planet X and Planet L came to war.

1-UP: But, those two planets are close to the orbit of Planet K!

HENRY: Exactly. We are currently in the year 2017, many years before 20X6. I am going to show you the "beggining".

1-UP: The beggining?

HENRY: Yes. The beggining.

{An alarm appears on Henry's head and it begins to beep}

HENRY: Uh oh. We're out of time.

1-UP: Huh? Out of time?

HENRY: Goodbye, 1-Up.

{Cuts to a blurry vision of a hospital room, 1-Up opens his eyes, noticing two Unguraits, a doctor and Kyle surrounding the hospital bed he's laying in}

1-UP: Goodbye? What are you talking about, Henry?

KYLE: You're finnaly awake!

1-UP: Huh?

UNGURAIT #1: You've been calling us Henry ever since you started talking. Are you okay?

1-UP: Umm, yeah. I'm fine. {short pause} When did I start talking?

KYLE: Err, a couple of minutes ago when you said "those two planets are close to the orbit of Planet K".

1-UP: Oh. Umm, I was having a nightmare.

KYLE: Got anything to say?

1-UP: Yes, I do. That's the last time I'm having root beer.

{Fade to black. The words "Moral: That's the last time I'm having root beer" appears onscreen. The Paper comes down}

Fun Facts

Explanations

This is a return to a place in a previous 1-Up email. Because some I've my friends prefered the old 1-Up emails.
- You can see heallven in the 59th 1-Up email called "clone".

Trivia

This is the second time 1-Up has been to heallven. The first was in the 59th email, "clone".
Satan, Joel Dawson and Phil Argus are all characters in Bonus Stage.
The fact that Bonus Stage characters are in this 1-Up email may be a reference to the Ungurait email show's over-use of Bonus Stage cameos and storylines.
The "cold one" is a reference to what Strong Bad calls beer in Strong Bad Email.
The fact that I'm using the places heallven, hell, etc. references how No Loafing used to get angry when I said the other "hell" which is swear.
There is a possibilty for fictional characters to leap into reality, but we call that breaking the "fourth wall" which doesn't exactly mean that they actually come into reality. They just break the wall that seperates fantasy and reality, thus making their cartoon seem less realistic.
It turns out that Dark Stinkoman, is in fact, not the Stinkoman clone that 1-Up created in email 59.

Rewind

This email continues from the Ungurait email known as "dreamail".
Heallven was previously seen in the email, "clone".
The Stinkoman clone was also seen in the email, "clone".

Other Character Email 1-Up/rootbeer

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