Other Character Email 1-Up/thelostemail

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

1-UP EMAIL 75!

I skipped Email 74 before so now I'm making a "Lost Email." Rememmber that 1-Up is still in the Cheat Commandos World at this point.

Cast (in order of appereance): 1-Up, Gunhaver, Reinforcements, Steve, Unguraits, Homestar Runner, Coach Z

Transcript

1-UP: Emaaaaaaaaail!

Kill Gunhaver. Right now. In his sleep.
Well, you don't have to, but if you
don't, you'll be the one killed. By me.
So basically, it's his life or yours.
I think you'll choose wisely.

-Your Greatest Enemy,
Definitely Not Contestro

1-UP: {typing} Shut up and listen to me talk. I'm running a questionnaire and I'd like you to answer some questions. About air. Number one, are you getting enough oxygen?

GUNHAVER: What? What are you still doing here? I sent you on that adventure to stop Blue Laser from stealing that store.

1-UP: {sighs} Yeah, yeah that was great. I took a look at that list, and I couldn't help but notice the list had groceries on it.

GUNHAVER: Well- Err... Blue Laser could steal those groceries.

{Reinforcements walks onscreen with Steve}

REINFORCEMENTS: Happy birthday, Steve.

GUNHAVER: It's your birthday? You should have told me so I could avoid getting you something.

STEVE: Shut up.

{Steve and Reinforcements leave}

1-UP: Well, That was pointless.

GUNHAVER: Are you going to get those groceries or not?

1-UP: Fine. But only if I can take Steve and Reynold with me.

GUNHAVER: No way. They're crap on missions.

1-UP: Can I at least take Reinforcements?

GUNHAVER: Sure, whatever.

{1-Up walks offscreen. Cuts to 1-Up looking surprised in the store}

1-UP: {surprised} Is this a dream?

REINFORCEMENTS: What are you looking at?

1-UP: They have cut half price off pudding. Only 200 dollars for a packet of triple chocolate pudding with a free coke.

REINFORCEMENTS: Are you kidding? In 2005, That is a lot of money.

1-UP: What? Seriously? Because, I have at least 500 dollars left before I went back in time. In 20X6, 200 dollars is quite a small amount of money.

REINFORCEMENTS: Wow. Let's buy some Hamburgers.

1-UP: But, Hamburgers are 5 dollars! That is a lot of money!

REUINFORCEMENTS: But, What are you talking about?

1-UP: Umm... Diddn't you say that 200 dollars was a lot of money?

REINFORCEMENTS: Umm... Yeah...

1-UP: So, I thought that anything below 100 dolars would be a lot of money in 2005.

REINFORCEMENTS: Umm... That doesn't make any sense... Are you dumb?

1-UP: Yes.

REINFORCEMENTS: Well, That explains it.

1-UP: {sighs} Hey. What is that?

REINFORCEMENTS: That? That's an Ungurait. They used to work or Blue Laser. Now they are bandits.

1-UP: Could I get a lot of money for sending an Ungurait to jail?

REINFORCEMENTS: You could. But, It is really hard to catch them. The only person that has ever catched an Ungurait was Homestar Runner.

1-UP: My dad?

{Cuts to a flashback of Homestar Runner at Bubs' Consession Stand}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What? You are charging how much, Mr. Bubs?

UNGURAIT: Who are you talking to? I am the only one here. Bubs went home early today.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey. Aren't you those bandits?

UNGURAIT: Huh? Oh, Yeah.

{Another Ungurait comes onscreen}

UNGURAIT #2: What? What are you doing? Darn you. You aren't supposed to tell him that we are robbing the place.

{Coach Z walks onscreen and throws the Unguraits in a jail truck. Cuts back to 1-Up in the store}

1-UP: Cool story. Huh? Hey. Where did Reinforcements go?

{The Paper comes down}

1-UP: This email was crap.

Other Character Email 1-Up/thelostemail

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Transcript

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