Other Character Email 1-Up/jelousy

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

1-UP EMAIL 103!

This is a non-canon email, which means that it isn't based around the current storyline.

Cast (in order of appereance): Omega, Delta, Beta, Alpha, 1-Up, Stinkoman, Strong Bad, Stinkoman Sr.

Transcript

{Cuts to 1-Up swirling through time and space}

NARRATOR: While 1-Up is currently swirling through time and space, the author would like to show an email that was never shown from a previous season. 5 months ago...

{Cuts to the field where a portal is growing. Omega walks out of a portal and then looks around}

OMEGA: Okay. It is safe now.

{Delta, Alpha and Beta walk out of the portal}

DELTA: Good. We shall start.

{A robotic body, that appears to be damaged, crawls onscreen}

ROBOT: {in robotic voice that echoes as he speaks} Huh? Who are you? Are you my enemy?

{Beta gets out a red gem and points it at the robot's face}

DELTA: Good idea. We shall change this guy's personality and place in this universe.

BETA: Who is this anyway?

ALPHA: I think that this is Project X.

{The red gem starts to glow}

BETA: Project X. You are now the master of all reploids and Stinkoman's enemies. You shall rule over them all, such as Sticklyman and the mysterious sillhoutted figure that nobody knows about yet. You shall work together in something called the X-Trio.

{Project X's injuries dissapear and then X starts to wear a crown and a suit of armor with a sword. Project X has become Master X}

MASTER X: Who are you? Where am I? I just left my lair and then you guys suddenly appeared.

DELTA: It is okay. We are your best friends.

MASTER X: Oh, yes. I remember. I was going to go tell Sticklyman to kill Stinkoman with his minions such as tampo, Brody and Stlunko.

BETA: Excellent. Stinkoman's adventures will be changed forever because we can change reality as we please.

DELTA: Using my powers, I shall make Sticklyman a minion of Master X and not a leader.

ALPHA: Excellent.

OMEGA: Sticklyman shall be this way forever!

{The screen fades to black. Cuts to 1-Up on his Lappy 486 from the beggining of Season 1}

1-UP: My name is Kidstar and nobody shall ever change my name.

DOUBLE EMAILLLLLLLLLLL!
How come you're so jealous of the guy?
You can be the Great Guy instead.
Make sure you don't rip space time.
Jess T.

1-UP: {typing} 1-Up?! But, I'm Kidstar. How come I'm so jealous of the guy? Well, that is a long story. I'm so jealous of the guy because I want to be the guy too. Here is the story.

{Cuts to 1-Up with an evil Stinkoman on a bridge. There appears to be a storm in the background}

1-UP: {voice over} Stinkoman had just been activated for the first time by the evil Homeschool Winner and I had to kill him. But, Homestar Runner refused to help me because, killing him would cause the future as we know it to not exist. Homestar Runner knew about this future because a Stinkoman from the future went back in time to just before I was born. That was around about the time that Strong Bad was taken over by a dark spirit.

STINKOMAN: Where's Homestar Runner?

1-UP: Forget him! I'm the one you have to fight!

STINKOMAN: Very well then... You die!

{Stinkoman punches 1-Up off the bridge. Then, He jumps in the air and grabs 1-Up. He punches him back to the bridge. 1-Up is now on the ground and can't breathe. He has injuries everywhere}

STINKOMAN: I've wasted enough time! Tell me where Runner is and I'll spare your life... for now.

1-UP: Keep dreaming...

STINKOMAN: Very well then. You die!

{A blast of thunder comes from the left side of the screen and hits Stinkoman}

STINKOMAN: ARG! WHAT?!

{Strikes of lightning continue to hit Stinkoman}

1-UP: Y-You?! B-But how?!

{The camera zooms out to show Strong Bad with red eyes. Dramatic music starts to play}

1-UP: What's going on?

STINKOMAN: I'll make you pay!

{Stinkoman gets out a sword and jumps towards Strong Bad. Strong Bad disssapears and reappears behind Stinkoman}

STINKOMAN: How'd you do that?

{Strong Bad starts throwing red glowing gems at Stinkoman and they explode as they hit the ground. Stinkoman dodges the red gems as they explode. 1-Up blasts Stinkoman with his double deuce}

1-UP: Deuce! Deuce! Double deuce!

{1-Up shoots his double deuce at Stinkoman. Stinkoman falls to the ground}

1-UP: Woah. You have amazing powers, Stinkoman. I want to be the guy too.

STINKOMAN: Shut up. This isn't the time or place for that.

{Strong Bad jumps up to Stinkoman and 1-Up}

STRONG BAD: Grr.

1-UP: Stop it, Strong bad. I think Stinkoman is on our side now.

STINKOMAN: You idiot. He's probably still poccessed by that dark spirit.

1-UP: Oh, right.

{Stinkoman and 1-Up run off. Cuts to 1-Up back at his computer}

1-UP: Well, there you have it.

{Another email pops up}

Dear 1-Up
How come you always call stinkoman the guy? What exactly makes him the guy?
From Zephiroth The Sayain Bunny

1-UP: What makes Stinkoman the guy? First of all, he is first place in the Five 20X6 Fighting Elite. He also has deuce busters and is also the son of Stinkoman Sr.

{Cuts to Stinkoman with an old-man that looks like Stinkoman as well}

STINKOMAN: Stinkoman Sr. Can you please autograph my soccer ball.

STINKOMAN SR.: No thanks, robot. I'm busy sleeping.

STINKOMAN: But, your standing right there.

{Stinkoman Sr. falls to the ground with his eyes closed and he starts to snore. Cuts back to 1-Up at the computer}

1-UP: Yeah. Stinkoman Sr. was a great guy. Well, I have to go now. But, before I do that. I shall check one last email. Hopefully, it won't be about Stinkoman.

{The last email is now shown onscreen}

Dear 1-Up,
Stinkoman is wrong! You ARE the guy!
You're no kid!!
Go out there and face him! Prove that HE
is in fact the kid, and you are, in fact,
the guy!

Yours,
Bottles98

1-UP: I'm the guy? But, I was so sure that Stinkoman was the guy. That's it. I shall fight him to the finish to proove that I am in fact, the guy.

{Cuts to 1-Up and Stinkoman in the field}

1-UP: We meet again, Stinkoman.

STINKOMAN: It's been a while since we last fought.

1-UP: I beleive it was around the Cataclysm where you were evil.

STINKOMAN: Oh, yes. Well anyway, you better prepare for your doom. Are you ready to fight?

1-UP: Yeah.

STINKOMAN: Are you ready to play tennis?

1-UP: Yeah.

STINKOMAN: Are you rready to lose?

1-UP: Yeah.

STINKOMAN: What?! You're ready to lose?!

1-UP: Yeah.

STINKOMAN: Okay, okay. Whatever. Bnow let's start this challeeeeeeeeeeeeeenge!

{The camera zooms in on Stinkoman's eyes. Stinkoman's eyes shine like in any anime as he runs towards 1-Up. The camera zooms out to view 1-Up just standing there as Stinkoman runs up to him}

1-UP: I want- Oof!

{1-Up is hit by Stinkoman. Stinkoman jumps in the air and starts glowing}

STINKOMAN: DOUBLE DEUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE!

{1-Up just stands there as a large ball of fire, the size of a house, shoots towards 1-Up. As it flies through the air, it crumbles to peices and shrinks. It shrinks to the size of a rock and then lands next to 1-Up}

1-UP: I want pudding!

STINKOMAN: Waaaaaaaah! No challenge! Where is the challenge? Where is my deuce?

1-UP: Why can't you defeat me? I've defeated you before and the only time you won is when I shrinked a Meritpoint with pudding.

STINKOMAN: Whoo-Ha?!

1-UP: Um. Chewbacca, D2, Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker.

STINKOMAN: Whatever, Kidstar! Wahahahahahaha! You're Kidstar!

1-UP: I AM NOT-

{1-Up falls down for no reason at all}

1-UP: Oof.

STINKOMAN: Does this mean I win?

{Stinkoman flies to the ground and picks up a stick}

STINKOMAN: Are you still alive, dude?

{Stinkoman pokes 1-Up with the stick. The stick breaks in half}

STINKOMAN: Waaaaaaaaah! Are you asking for a sticky challenge?! DOUBLE DEUUUUUUUUCE!

{Stinkoman vanishes into thin air in a white and very bright flash and drops some kind of card. 1-Up wakes up}

1-UP: Wait you left your challenge license behind. Should I- Wait a minute. It says here that Stinkoman is in first place of the Five 20X6 Fighting Elite, which means that Stinkoman is the universe's bestest fighter and challenger of 20X6.

{Stinkoman appears behind 1-Up and punches him in the back}

STINKOMAN: You tricked me! I thought you were dead!

{Stinkoman picks up his license and then grabs 1-Up}

STINKOMAN: You'll pay.

1-UP: Um.

{1-Up gets out his wallet and checks his money}

1-UP: Sorry. I only have fifty dollars. How much do I have to pay you?

{Short pause}

STINKOMAN: Not that kind of pay, idiot!

1-UP: So, does this mean I still have to give you the fifty bucks?

STINKOMAN: Er, Yes.

{1-Up kicks Stinkoman in the butt and runs off}

STINKOMAN: Ow! I said give me fifty bucks! Fifty!

{1-Up runs back onscreen and kicks Stinkoman three times before running offscreen again}

STINKOMAN: Ouch! Get back here!

{The camera moves to the right to reveal that 1-Up is standing next to Stinkoman with a bowl of pudding}

1-UP: Okay. I'm back.

STINKOMAN: Stop doing what I say in that exact way!

1-UP: Oh, okay.

{1-Up leaves and comes back}

1-UP: Is that what you wanted me to do?

STINKOMAN: WAAAAAAAAAAAH! DOUBLE DEUUUUUCE!

{Stinkoman shoots firey balls using his deuce busters again and again. He eventually stops after 5 seconds. 1-Up seems to be standing there and unharmed}

1-UP: Want some pudding?

STINKOMAN: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

{Stinkoman runs offscreen, crying and screaming}

1-UP: Stinkoman. You forgot your fifty bucks. Oh, well. It's mine again.

{Cuts to Stinkoman sitting in the corner of Stinkoman HQ and looking at the window. The Paper comes down}

STINKOMAN: He can't be killed. He can't be killed. He can't be killed. He can't be killed. He can't be...

{Stinkoman says it repeatingly and it slowly goes silent after 25 seconds}

Easter Eggs

If you click Stinkoman after he finishes talking, it'll show a scene of 1-Up swirling through time and space.

Easter Egg Transcript

1-UP: Woah. Swirling through time and space makes me dizzy, confused and bored. {short pause} Hey! I think I can see my house from here!

Other Character Email 1-Up/jelousy

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