Other Character Email 1-Up/mafia

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

1-UP EMAIL 127!

1-Up gets in trouble with some people down at the robot mafia and they think that 1-Up is good enough to join the robot mafia. But a problem happens when a few of 1-Up's friends owe the robot mafia money and 1-Up's reprogramming causes 1-Up to murder Pan Pan... or maybe not.

Cast (in order of appereance): Harvax XVII, Robert, Scrooge, Random Robots, Harvax XVIII, 1-Up, Zim, Gir, Pudding Factory Workers, Master Hand, Crazy Hand, 1-Up's Hands, Pan Pan, Stinkoman, Sticklyman Jr.

Transcript

{Cut open to a ship closing in on another ship, possibly an enemy ship belonging to the Z sector belonging to 20X6 Coach Z. The ships connect and it zooms in on a hallway in the middle of the two ships where Harvax XVII and two tiny squid-like robots walk in, and so does another three random robots from the other ship that look damaged and injured}

RANDOM ROBOT #1: {down on knees, begging} Please, I beg of you! I was just in a fight with space pirates, so I don't have any money to give you! Please search inside your hard-drive and look for your inner peace file.

ROBERT: {robotic voice} File not found.

{Harvax XVII, Robert and Scrooge all get out guns (Harvax XVII has a big one though) and they begin shooting down the robots. The injured robots' ship blows up and the mafia-like duo return to their own ship}

HARVAX XVII: {in godfather accent} No money? Thos' guys are worthless!

SCROOGE: It's a good thing that we blew 'em up, yes boss?

HARVAX XVII: Yeah, but I want to meet someone who is good at the game of cards and is as equal in strength as I am.

ROBERT: Yeah, but derse' this one guy that I played cards with once. He bet all his pudding on a game of Pocker.

SCROOGE: What's your point?

ROBERT: Well, I won the game, but he ended up running off with the pudding shouting "NO! I'm keeping!" over and over again.

HARVAX XVII: {thinks} Really? Hmm, I might have to visit this guy. What's his name?

ROBERT: It's hard to remember. It was ages ago. I think the name was "Kidstar".

{Harvax XVII walked over to window blinds and opens them slightly, seeing Planet X blow up and two ships fly out of the explsion, undamaged}

HARVAX XVII: We will get this kid, after all... we are the robot mafia!

ROBERT: Indeed we are, boss.

{Harvax XVIII walks in. He is a tiny child who is five years old wearing something similar to what his father is wearing}

HARVAX XVIII: I'm in the house, ya'll. What's goin' on?

HARVAX XVII: Dude. We're a mafia, not a crappy pimp-ped out gang.

HARVAX XVIII: Aww, fine then!

{Zoom out effect. All four of them laugh evilly. Fade to black and cut open to 1-Up's ship crash landed in a tree on Planet K. 1-Up and Zim can both be seen stuck in the tree while Gir is sitting on top of the tree}

1-UP: What is with the constant cameos?

ZIM: I dunno. What's up with the "being stuck in a tree" thing?

GIR: I LIKE WAFFLES! {laughs happily}

1-UP: Does that robot of yours ever shut up? I mean, I'm a robot and I'm smarter then all of you.

ZIM: What really? You're a robot?

1-UP: Yeah, why?

ZIM: I don't know. You look like you are a living creature of this filthy planet, but meh.

{Gir jumps off the tree and pulls Zim and 1-Up out of the tree as well}

GIR: Can we go to Taco House?!

ZIM: No. I am not going to look at another taco ever again. You know human food burns us! IT BURNS US ALL!

{Gir begins to cry loudly and annoyingly}

ZIM: Fine! We will go to this human resteraunt called "Taco House"!

{Gir jumps up and down happily, 1-Up just stares at him wierdly. After a screen-wipe, 1-Up, Zim and Gir can be seen seated at a table at a resteraunt called "Taco House"}

1-UP: Well, that's enough adventures for me. I will never have an adventure again. Oh, that reminds me, I have an email show and I wouldn't want to upset the viewers watching at home.

'ZIM: I did have a computer back on Planet X, but it was blown up along with my house and etcetera, but those things happen often in my li-

GIR: When do we get our tacos?!

1-UP: As soon as- EGADS!

{The camera zooms out to view 1-Up really surprised at something and he is looking in the direction of two robots at the front counter along with Harvax XVII}

1-UP: It's a penny! {leans down to grab a penny off the floor}

{Cut to a view of Robert's vision which is all green, as if he sees the world like a robot (because he is a robot). Robert looks around the resteraunt and because 1-Up is ducking down to grab a penny, the scan shows that 1-Up is not there. Cut to an outside view of this. A beeping sound is heard, meaning the scan is ovver and Robert's eyes turn from green to normal white}

ROBERT: Sorry, boss. I can't see him anywhere in this resteraunt.

SCROOGE: But I was sure I sensed the kid's RNA pattern coming from this resteraunt.

{Robert, Scrooge and Harvax XVII leave as 1-Up gets up off the floor}

1-UP: RNA?! What the Jaro is that?!

ZIM: You don't know what RNA is? Well, let me explain it to you, using Gir as a perfect example. Much like human DNA, robots cannot have a robot soul without it's own set of wires and power compatibilaty. When tested in combat, it is shown which RNA wires should be put into certain robots. RNA sparks flashes in a robots' fist so they are able to form any attack. The first robot to use combat RNA was Stinkoman, created by the legendary Strong Bad.

1-UP: Interesting, please do go on.

ZIM: No, let's talk about something even more interesting.

{Cut to the outside of the resteraunt where Robert can be seen going back into the ship}

HARVAX XVII: It is your job to take care of my son and babysit him for a few minutes. For some odd reason, I don't think my minions can be trusted.

ROBERT: Very well then.

SCROOGE: Me and the boss are going to search for Kidstar without you, even though we have no idea what he looks like.

{Cut back to 1-Up sitting under the table with a tiny iPod-type object}

1-UP: {mumbling, in a singing tune} I can't believe I've stumped this low just to check an... EMAAAAIL!

{An email appears on the iPod thing's screen and 1-Up reads it out carefully}

CONGRATURATION, 1-UP!
You've won the big super-awesome contest! Come
to the 20X6 Mafia Warehouse to get the prize, but
do not bring Stinkoman, or any weapons. They
would interfere with our evil plo-- err I mean,
contest thing. There's no evil plot here. Really!
...We're having a pudding party!
Sincerely,
Harvax XVII

1-UP: A pudding party, eh? Well, I might as well go then. Thank you, Gravox. You leave behind a delicious taste on different kinds of chicken meat.

{1-Up walks out from under the table and leaves the resteraunt. Zim goes under the table and grabs it}

ZIM: You, little iPod, are going on eBay!

{Cut to 1-Up exitting the resteraunt and running through a scrolling background}

1-UP: I am so glad that we are going to have a pudding party and due to the fact I still have a lifetime supply of pudding. I can bring my own.

{Cut over to two workers at the pudding factory as machines in the background are being shut off}

WORKER #1: WE'RE RUINED! Who would've guessed a robot's lifetime would last forever?!

WORKER #2: NOW NOBODY WILL HAVE PUDDING! And we won't have jobs anymore!

{Cut back to 1-Up, although now he is at a warehouse with "20X6 Robot Mafia" written across the top of the door to the warehouse in graffiti}

1-UP: This is it. I'm finnaly here.

{1-Up opens the warehouse door, only to find nothing but a black room. Suddenly three figures in the darkness stuff 1-Up into a bag and tie it up and then through it into the back of their ship (this is all happening in the dark room). The ship blasts off, and out of the warehouse, thusly crashing through the roof. Cut to an outside view of the entire planet, as the ship flies out of there and flies towards another warehouse on Planet J. Cut to the inside of the ship where 1-Up is emerging from a bag and the robot mafia are surrounding the bag}

1-UP: Dude, what is going on?

HARVAX XVII: Do you know how to play the game of Pocker?

1-UP: Err, no. I have never played it in my life.

ROBERT: LIAR! I know for a fact that you played Pocker, 1-Up Kidstar Clever Extraman Runner, with me at a pudding party back in 20X5. Remember?

1-UP: It's hard to remember, but I think so.

ROBERT: You might also remember that you ran off with my winnings. We agreed that I'd get your entire supply of pudding.

HARVAX XVII: Why don't you two play Pocker again? This time, maybe we can decide who gets 1-Up's supply? We have it all right here.

{Two curtains open up behind 1-Up, as the cameras zoom out, to view 1-Up's two shoes with yelllow souls and blue rings, standing in front of a bunch of money, chips (not potato chips, moron) and a lot of pudding}

1-UP: MY PUDDING HAS BEEN PUDDING-NAPPED!

HARVAX XVII: If you beat Robert and Scrooge in Pocker then we will return-

ROBERT: {waves hands} But boss, we don't like playing Pocker anymore. It's too easy. I prefer to famous Stinkoman K 20X6 card game.

1-UP: Very well then. I accept. Ever since the guy became my hero, I have always had a deck of those cards for this trading card activity.

SCROOGE: It's a game, not an activity.

1-UP: Whatever! The point is that I'm going to win!

{One screen wipe later, 1-Up and Robert are standing on a basketball field, and two Yu-Gi-Oh! duel disk-styled devicces are attached to 1-Up's and Robert's arms, but due to the fact that 1-Up has no arms, the robotic arm that brings in the devices just ends up dropping one}

ROBERT: Umm, aren't you going to use the duel disk system?

1-UP: How can I? It's impossible. I have no arms.

{Master Hand and Crazy Hand both appear out of nowhere in front of 1-Up}

1-UP: WHAT?! Where'd you come from?

MASTER HAND: We are getting sick of your old robotic hands annoying us.

CRAZY HAND: {wierd, crazy voice} And that's why wee are going to give them back to you. We are also going to give you another 25 cards.

1-UP: Huh? How come? I already have my own 25 cards.

MASTER HAND: You need 50 cards for a duel, so we are giving you some of our cards which we collected while travelling through video game universe. After Mario and Kirby, we ended up here in Stinkoman's universe.

1-UP: Who the friggin' pudding is Stinkoman?

CRAZY HAND: The one that you call "the guy".

MASTER HAND: Now go into there and kick some butt to get back your pudding.

{Master Hand and Crazy Hand fade out of existance as two white arms come out of 1-Up's torso. 1-Up picks up the duel disk, attaches it to his arm and the game begins}

ROBERT: I will begin our game by putting down the great big yellow bird, Brody. Followed by a Grundy power-up card.

{Brody suddenly appears onscreen in front of Robert in a puff of smoke}

ROBERT: The Grundy power-up card allows Brody's attack points to go up by X0 points, due to having a bird minion on the field.

1-UP: Well, I shall lay down a card called 1-Up, with the great Cheatball.

{In a puff of smoke 1-Up turns into... 1-Up(?!) in a puff of smoke. And then, with no hands at all, holds the Cheatball. This leads to him throwing it at Brody}

1-UP: CHEATBALL POISON RAIN VORNADO!

{1-Up throws the Cheatball toward the screen}

CHEATBALL: Cheatball.

{It explodes in a green cloud of gas. As it dissipates, numbers appear in the four corners of the screen and change rapidly. The words "PLAY GET!" flashes on the screen and the 20X6 credit song from Under Construction plays}

ROBERT: So, uhm, what now?

1-UP: You mean you don't know?

ROBERT: {waving arms} How could anybody know?! This game makes no sense, nobody could figure it out!

{The camera zooms in on 1-Up}

1-UP: Nobody... except me!

{The camera zooms out again, and suddenly Robert blows up for no appareant reason}

1-UP: Err, what just happened to the robot that was playing a card game with me?

SCROOGE: He blew up. Poor little guy.

{The number counters dissapear. Harvax XVII walks in and looks at Robert}

HARVAX XVII: You... you... killed him...?

1-UP: Yes, I did! An I'm feeling fine!

{1-Up starts doing a dance. Harvax XVII growls and gets out his gun}

1-UP: {dancing} Doo-doo doo! Dah-doo doo-doo-hoo!

HARVAX XVII: You killed Robert! I'm going to destroy you!

1-UP: {still dancing} Only if you dance with me!

HARVAX XVII: What? What are you talking about? No! Never!

{1-Up stops dancing and pauses}

HARVAX XVII: Fine, whatever!

{Two curtains close in on the screen, so you can no longer see 1-Up and Harvax XVII, the curtains open again to view Homestar Runner and Harvax XVII. Both of them and dancing in little costumes that make them look like children}

1-UP: Doo-doo dee-doo-doo doo! Polymascotformalate! Feed it to the babies!

HARVAX XVII: {angry} ...or have it with sour cream. Whatever, I'm out of here!

{Harvax XVII gets out his gun and points it at the screen, he shoots it, thusly smashing it and leaving behind nothing more then a black screen with a smash on it. The holigraphic paper then comes down}

Easter Eggs

If you click on the pile of pudding, money, etc. as soon as the curtains open within the first five seconds, you'll see a SBLOUNSKCHED! bar, from the Strong Bad email, "candy product".

Fun Facts

Trivia

Some of this was inspired off an episode of Futurama, in which Bendor joins the robot mafia and has to attack his friends, Fry and Leela.
- The robot mafia itself is a reference to that paticular Futurama episode.
At the beggining, it says the "Z sector belonging to 20X6 Coach Z". This does not mean I think the shadowy figure in the game is 20X6 Coach Z. I'm just using his character and assuming that he is a bad guy that'll appear in a Strong Bad email sometime soon.
Harvax XVIII is the son of Harvax XVII, as you can possibly tell by the name.
One of the two minions belonging to Harvax XVII, are named after "Scrooge" who appeared in the children's TV series, "Duck Tales".
Space pirates will have a lot to do with the next plot in 1-Up emails.
The name "Robert" is a play on the word "Robot", but it can also be considered as a real person's name.
Gravox is the name of a brand which sells gravy.
SBLOUNSKCHED! bar is a reference to the Strong Bad email, "candy product".
"MY PUDDING HAS BEEN PUDDING-NAPPED!" is a reference to the quote "MY COMPUTER'S BEEN LAPPY-NAPPED!" from the 158th Strong Bad email and the two-part email that follows it.
The Stinkoman K 20X6 card game is a reference to common anime card games like "Yu-Gi-Oh!" and 'Pokemon". The cards often appear in the Strong Bad email, "trading cards".
In the latest news, 1-Up emails maybe shorter then usual in near-future.

Other Character Email 1-Up/mafia

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