Other Character Email 1-Up/chocolate

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

1-UP EMAIL 108!

1-Up is back in the alternate universe, but only to look for chocolate, as he is switching from pudding to chocolate. Also, the Apocalypse starts.

Cast (in order of appereance): 1-Up, King of Town, Homstar Runner, Master X, Omega, Yuta, Delta, The Ungurait Pharoah, Alternate Tampo, Alternate Brody, Alternate Stlunko, Alternate 1-Up, Alternate Stinkoman, Alternate Greggo, Other Universe Tampo, Other Universe Astromund, Other Universe Gunhaver, Other Universe King of Town, Other Universe Homestar Runner, Other Universe Stinkoman, Master X, Pan Pan, Stinkoman, Yuta, Beta, Joshua, Strong Bad, Past 1-Up, Alpha, Omega, Crowd of Robots, 30X2 Pan Pan

Transcript

{Cut to 1-Up and the King of Town standing in front of the King of Town's castle}

1-UP: Please let me live here! The squids have been destroyed, but there is an evil me on the loose!

KING OF TOWN: No! I won't let you in after the way your let me almost die! Doo-hoo-hoo!

{The King of Town slams the door on 1-Up as it starts to rain}

1-UP: {sighs} I wish I had a computer, but they all seem to explode. I must be a horrible mother.

{Cut to 1-Up walking towards the stick and sitting next to it}

1-UP: {sighs} How can I do my email show without a computer?

{A laptop falls down from the sky and lands on 1-Up's head}

1-UP: WAH! Huh? Oh, it's a computer. I think it's the...

{1-Up grabs the computer and reads it}

1-UP: Lappotron 3000. The time travelling laptop.

{An email appears on the screen of the new Lappotron 3000}

Hey there 1-Up,
I know you like pudding so much,
so why don't you switch to chocolate?
I mean, there's all sorts of chocolate
in Free Country USA, you just have to
find it! (You are still in present
times, right?)
Not calling you that name you hate,
A Clamburger

{1-Up reads the email and then clears the screen so he can start to reply}

1-UP: {typing} Switching from chocolate to pudding?! Are you mad?!

{Homestar Runner walks onscreen}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pudding, pudding, pudding.

1-UP: Hey, creator from the past. What are you doing?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Switching from chocolate to pudding.

1-UP: What a coincidence. I was going to sswitch from puddding to chocolate... or maybe I wasn't. {short pause} I don't know. I think I am.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Do you have some pudding?

1-UP: Yes. Do you have some chocolate?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes. Let's swap.

{The camera zooms in on 1-Up's right side and Homestar Runner's left side, and a chocolate bar and a bowel of pudding swap sides as if both their invisible hands were grabbing them and swapping them over to each other}

1-UP: Thanks for this bar-shaped chocolate.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad says it's called a chocolate caw.

STRONG BAD: {screaming from offscreen} I said chocolate bar, moron!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, sowwy. Oh. Hey, 1-Up. I was wondering if you want to come over my house?

1-UP: Well, it isn't like I have any enemies anymore. I'm pretty sure I defeated Sticklyman and the other guys. So, I guess nobody can be kidnapped.

{Cuts to Omega, Delta and Yuta all standing and talking in a dark room with Master X}

MASTER X: As a Stinkoman prototype, I was wondering why you haven't made me the guy yet.

OMEGA: I'm sorry, but 1-Up is still in the anceint past of 2006 AD.

DELTA: I guess Stinkoman will have to stay the guy of 20X6 until 1-Up comes back to 2005.

MASTER X: Why can't you just make the proccess go faster? Get the Ungurait Pharoah to set up a portal in 2006!

YUTA: 2006?! But, he is afraid of that year. Remember that back in those anceint times of the early 21st century, the Ungurait Pharoah was sent on an X0 year sleep and-

MASTER X: I don't care! Just make it happen! This talk is over!

{Master X fades into the darkness, followed by Delta, Yuta and Omega. Cuts to the Ungurait Pharoah hiding behind the stick which is a tiny bit bigger then it should be}

THE UNGURAIT PHAROAH: I hate my job. I used to be a born-leader... a great ruler... treated well by my ungurait-people...

{The Ungurait Pharoah walks over to Homestar Runner and pushes him to the ground. Afterwards, he puts a spinning circle-shaped thing on the ground and pushes 1-Up into it}

1-UP: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

{1-Up's voice fades into the distance as he falls into the portal}

THE UNGURAIT PHAROAH: Well, my people actually hated me and went against me. But, meh.

{Cuts to the Joshua Universe at the Lava Zone. A portal grows and opens up from the ground of the Lava Zone and 1-Up jumps out of it}

1-UP: Huh?! Where am I?! What's going on?!

{The alternate boss trio from the Joshua universe come onscreen and looks down at 1-Up}

1-UP: Oh no. Not this- Wait a second!

{1-Up looks up at the boss trio from the Joshua universe}

1-UP: Hey, it's my old college roomate. How's it been, Jack?

{Alternate Stlunko raises his fist above 1-Up. 1-Up looks up, confused}

1-UP: ...Jack?

{Alternate Stlunko smashes 1-Up into the ground}

ALTERNATE TAMPO: What was THAT about?

ALTERNATE STLUNKO: I do not know, but I do not want to find out.

ALTERNATE BRODY: Creep.

{1-Up falls into a cavern below the ground of the Lava Zone and falls on to his alternate self again}

1-UP: Ow. That hurt my head. I'm like a pancake. Mmm, pancake. {drools}

ALTERNATE 1-UP: Wah! A talking pancake landed on my head!

1-UP: Nah. It was just John the meteor man.

{Alternate 1-Up jumps up, knocking 1-Up to the ground}

ALTERNATE 1-UP: No! He's after me again! {runs away}

{1-Up gets up and off the ground}

1-UP: Woah. He sure can run. I wonder if he likes pudding. He looked familar.

{1-Up starts chasing Joshua's 1-Up. Cut to 1-Up and Alternate 1-Up both running}

1-UP: Wheeeeee! What game are we playing?

ALTERNATE 1-UP: You won't get me this time!

{Suddenly the camera pans to a lava pool in an open air room without a roof. The camera pans up to reveal the passage the 1-Up's are running down, heading to the pool far below}

ALTERNATE 1-UP: Looks like I'm gonna have to jump!

{Alternate 1-Up runs right off the edge of the cliff seeming into the lava pit below. 1-Up runs up the edge and stops}

1-UP: Oh, crap. I lost him. I guess he wins.

{After a brief pause, Alternate 1-Up floats back up in an orange lava bubble}

ALTERNATE 1-UP: Haha! I showed you- OUCH! This bubble is hot!

{Alternate 1-Up floats up out of the room}

1-UP: Aw, snap. He gets a ride home as well. I don't get a ride home.

{The mysterious man with white spikey hair and black armor rises onscreen from behind 1-Up}

MYSTERIOUS MAN: Hey, dude. I have a ride for you, and I also have chocolate.

1-UP: Cool. Where's your ride?

MYSTERIOUS MAN: I'll only tell you if you tell me where I can find the Talismans of power.

1-UP: Oh. They're destroyed. I had to destroy them to save humanity... And eat pudding with a spoon!

MYSTERIOUS MAN: {sighs} Oh, well. Do you have a time traveling device?

1-UP: Yeah. I got it from some mysterious good guy in 30X2. He also gave me something called "the last pudding in existance."

MYSTERIOUS MAN: {gasps and whispers to himself} The pudding of dark power...? In the future, it'll survive the great war...?

1-UP: What'd you say?

MYSTERIOUS MAN: Um, can I have the time travel device and the pudding?

1-UP: Sure. I'm switching to chocolate anyway.

{1-Up gives the mysterious man a time travel device and a glowing bowel of pudding. The mysterious man snatches them, pushes 1-Up in the lava and runs off. In a result, 1-Up ends up melting and you start to see his robot face sink into the lava at the last moment. Cut to 1-Up appearing at the 20X6 field of the Joshua universe}

1-UP: WAH! Where am I?

{1-Up gets up off the ground and looks around. Cuts to 1-Up looking around from the behind 1-Up. The camera spins around 1-Up to show what he's looking at}

1-UP: I need more chocolate. I'm pretty sure Jack has some- Woah! A broken robot warehouse and a sign saying...

{Cuts to a sign which 1-Up reads}

1-UP: ...this way to Challenge City.

{1-Up walks towards Challenge City in the Joshua universe. Cuts to Alternate Stinkoman standing in Challenge City. 1-Up walks onscreen}

1-UP: I'm looking for Jack. When I left college, I heard he came to this universe and started a chocolate factory. I must find him. He's like a long lost college roomate to me. Are you Jack?

ALTERNATE STINKOMAN: No, my name is Stinkoman. But you already knew that, 1-Up. {laughs} But this Jack character sounds like he is asking for a challenge. DOUBLE DEUCE! {flies away}

1-UP: Aw, that Jack character was my friend.

{1-Up starts walking and spin-kicking any enemies in his way, suddenly he stops in front of a Greggo from the Joshua universe}

1-UP: Hey, friendly minion of my old master who is living in a cave in this alternate universe. Can I spin-kick you?

ALTERNATE GREGGO: No! Not again! {starts running away}

{1-Up chases the alternate Greggo. The alternate Greggo runs into what appears to be a makeshift teleporter. It goes inside and disappears in a flash}

1-UP: Woah. A teleporter.

{1-Up runs into the teleporter and pushes a button. He is gone in a flash. Cut to the Lunar Warehouse's experiment room. In a flash, 1-Up is here. The Greggo is nowhere to be seen. Hundreds of buttons are lining the walls. 1-Up eyes one that says "Universe Randomizer" and goes up to it}

1-UP: Oh, that looks nice.

{1-Up presses the button and appears in an arena in space, along with what looks like Tampo, an Astromund, Gunhaver, the King of Town, Homestar Runner and Stinkoman. A large TV screen appears a greets everyone}

MASTER X: {on TV screen} Greetings everyone. I am project X, a Stinkoman prototype. I am the master of evil people in the year 40X6.

TAMPO: What does that have to do with us?

MASTER X: {on TV screen} Well, you've all been selected by the Ungurait Pharoah from your dimensions and time periods.

{The TV screen turns off and a holigraphic profile appears next to 1-Up}

MASTER X: {voice only} Our first guest is non other then the dumb 1-Up from the Homestar Runner Fanstufff Wiki. He was created by Homestar Runner in the pre-20X6 era.

{1-Up appears on the TV screen}

1-UP ON TV SCREEN: I want pudding!

1-UP: Do I really sound like that?

MASTER X: {voice only} Yes.

{The holigraphic profile and TV screen both turn off}

MASTER X: {voice only} We will see 1-Up again when the tournament begins. For now, he will be sent home without any explanation on what is going on.

{Cut to 1-Up sleeping at the Lappotron 3000 back at Stinkoman HQ, slowly waking up}

1-UP: Huh, eh? What? {typing} Oh. I'm back here. Well, I guess it was all a dream. Hehehe. It's not like there is someone called "Master X" or "Omega." {short pause} Is there?

{Cuts to Joshua at his computer, typing Tampo email #40. Yuta and Beta walk onscreen}

JOSHUA: {typing on computer}

YUTA: Greetings, Joshua.

{Joshua turns around and looks at Beta and Yuta}

JOSHUA: Hi.

BETA: My name is Beta and this is Yuta. We cannot let you live on. You see, 1-Up has been seen in your universe, so to destroy your universe, we're killing the source which is you. Nobody can know about our plans.

{Joshua takes out a machine gun and starts shooting. Yuta and Beta dissapear and reappear behind Joshua and dodge the bullets. Joshua turns around and looks at them}

YUTA: {sighs}

BETA: We are from 40X6. We know all moves you will pull, we have come prepared.

JOSHUA: Make this quick. You gots four minutes.

YUTA: {charges up a a dark fireball}

JOSHUA: {surpised} ...

YUTA: DARK BLADE DEUCE!

{The fireball grows and darkens the room}

JOSHUA: Eep.

{Joshua gets out a remote and presses the only button on it. Joshua dissapears}

BETA: Crap! Where'd he go?!

YUTA: It won't matter. If he tells anybody, we know what to do.

{Beta and Yutaa leave the room. Cuts to 1-Up in th field with Pan Pan}

1-UP: ...and I'm sorry I broke your Pan Pilot.

PAN PAN: {angrily} Badalang, Badlang, Badalang!

{Pan Pan bounces offscreen in the opposite direction to 1-Up}

1-UP: Hmph, fine! I can always friend a new friend!

{Cuts to Beta and Yuta sitting at the table of their dark lair of non-existance}

BETA: Okay. So, we've agreed not to tell Master X or anyone that we let Joshua find out about our plans to-

ALPHA: {voice only} WHAT?!

{Alpha walks onscreen and looks from Bet to Yuta and Yuta back to Beta, over and over}

ALPHA: The master is not going to be happy.

YUTA: Don't tell him, Alpha. All we have to do is keep it a secret and nobody will get hurt. And if Master X does find out, we'll blame it on the Ungurait Pharoah.

BETA: Well, now that you think about it, the Ungurait Pharoah isn't really a pharoah anymore, seeing as he is just another ungurait now that has been taken over by the Dark Elf.

ALPHA: Heh. I remember the time Sticklyman was a humble worker working for the Webmaster and the Prince of City. Afterwards, he switched jobs to being a warrior under Master X's control. When Master X betrayed him, Sticklyman became a leader to bad guys.

YUTA: Yeah. That was around season 1 of 1-Up emails.

ALPHA: Aaaah. Good memories. What about in season 2 when we killed Orano and then brought him back to life so he could continue being fifth place of the five fighting and challenging 20X6 elites.

YUTA: You know, I'm fourth place in the elite. Until I was chosen in 40X6 to be one of the five members of the Debug Force under Master X's control.

BETA: What about Dark Stinkoman?

ALPHA: Oh, yeah. The original Stinkoman prototype. He was pretty cool.

YUTA: Well anyway, let's see how 1-Up's actions effected the past.

{A TV screen flies down. A picture of Strong Bad on the floor of his lab with blood everywhere appears on the TV screen}

BETA: Um, he's asleep. Right?

YUTA: I don't think so.

ALPHA: The time stream is going to be destroy-

{There is an explosion. Cuts to Strong bad in his lab with Homestar Runner}

STRONG BAD: Think about it. The Stinkoman prototypes escaped and caused destruction, my latest Stinkoman has turned evil because of Homeschool Winner and 1-Up has turned evil because of a flaw we never fixed. Mabye we aren't meant to make robots.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's loser talk, soldier! Join the Homestarmy today!

STRONG BAD: {sighs}

{Suddenly, 1-Up from the past with red eyes jumps in from the window and stabs Strong bad with a knife which he is holding with his invisible hands and arms}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh no! This does not look good for Homestar Runner!

{Homestar Runner crashes through the wall and runs off}

1-UP: {eyes go back to normal and he drops the knife} What have I done? I've killed Stinkoman and Strong Bad. Now the world of pudding in the future will never happen!

{The screen turns dark a little and the sound disappears. 1-Up seems to say something, but nothing is heard. Suddenly a narrator speaks with a somewhat deep, soft male voice}

NARRATOR: And so, 1-Up's evil past self killed Strong Bad in the year 2012.

{Screen fades to a scene of an older, taller Strong Bad with a welder's helmet on. He is holding a small torch and using it on an incomplete Stinkoman robot, who is laying on a table. No sound is heard, other than the narrator, and the screen is still a little extra dark}

NARRATOR: In the year 2037, four years before the Exty calender was introduced, Stinkoman was not- Pfft. If that happened then there would be no more 1-Up email and Miytchell wouldn't let that happen. Now would he?

MITCHELL: {voice only} No way!

{Cuts to 1-Up standing next to Stinkoman at Stinkoman HQ. Stinkoman's arm starts to fade}

1-UP: Wah! It's the end of the world! My quest for chocolate is over!

{1-Up runs offscreen, crying. Stinkoman looks at his hand}

STINKOMAN: Whu-ha?! Are you asking for a challenge, hand?!

{Stinkoman bites his hand and then starts waving his arms}

STINKOMAN: Ow! My hand! It's like my hand, it hurts so bad!

{Stinkoman's pants also start to fade away along with both of Stinkoman's hands and arms}

STINKOMAN: Waaaaaaaaaaah! I don't exist! I might as well challenge some enemies in the world of things that don't exiiiiiiiiiist!

{Stinkoman fades away completely. 1-Up walks back in}

1-UP: Hey, Stinkoman. Look what I found buried in that time box.

{1-Up looks around for a second}

1-UP: Where's Stinkoman? I better find out what's going on. {short pause} Nah. I want to look for more chocolate.

{1-Up leaves. Cuts to Omega, Delta and Master X watching the whole thing on their floating TV screen}

MASTER X: What is going on? Why is Stinkoman fading away?

DELTA: And why is 1-Up looking for chocolate?

OMEGA: And more importantly, what is happening to Master X. {points at Master X's hand}

{The camera zooms in on Master X's hand which is very slowly fading away}

MASTER X: Arg! Don't just stand there, you stupid minions! Do something!

{Omega and Delta look at each other and then start dancing}

MASTER X: NOT THAT!

{Omega and Delta look at Master X and stop dancing}

OMEGA: Sorry, master.

{Master X's other hand slowly starts fading. Same thing happens to his legs}

MASTER X: Help me! Quickly!

OMEGA: How?

MASTER X: I don't care!

DELTA: TV screen. Quickly set up a holigraphic document of how, when and where the source of the problem is.

{The TV screen floats next to Master X and scans his hand. Blue words start appearing on the Tv's screen}

MASTER X: It seems that a paradox has been caused in the early 21st century because 1-Up caused his past self to malfunction and kill Strong Bad.

OMEGA: What does that have to do with you.

MASTER X: I was one of the Stinkoman prototypes and if Strong Bad never existed, I wouldn't of survived for long watching and following every step of Stinkoman.

DELTA: Oh, right. So, what should we do about it?

MASTER X: Go back in time and-

{Master X fades away completely}

OMEGA: Arg! What?! What was he going to say?!

DELTA: Who cares? Do you know what this means? Without Master X, we are free to go by our own rules.

OMEGA: So, we can take over 20X6 ourselves. We can do it our way.

{Cuts to 1-Up in the field with a large crowd of robots}

1-UP: Attention everyone. I would like announce, that I am now the guy too since Stinkoman doesn't exist anymore.

CROWD OF ROBOTS: {jumping up and down} Yaaaaay!

1-UP: Also, I have decidded to switch from pudding to chocolate!

CROWD OF ROBOTS: {jumping up and down} Yaaaa-

{The crowd of robots fade away completely}

1-UP: Crap. Now I'm alone.

{30X2 Pan Pan bounces onscreen}

30X2 PAN PAN: Not quite.

1-UP: {gasps} Pan Pan! You're talking! Also, you're my friend again!

30X2 PAN PAN: No! It's me! Pan Pan from the year 30X2! My hand is fading away because my past self was killed by Nebulon along with your past self- Go back in time and stop Nebulon from eating our past selves. Be careful.

1-UP: Hey! You're right! My hands and arms are fading away!

{Short pause}

30X2 PAN PAN: Wait. How can you tell? You have no arms or hands. In fact, the only limbs you have is your legs and neck.

1-UP: A neck isn't a limb. And besides, I don't have a neck. My head is just attached to my chest with no neck.

30X2 PAN PAN: Right. Well anyway, are you sure you can continue your email show during this apocalypse?

1-UP: I think so.

30X2 PAN PAN: Okay. Farewell, and be careful.

{30X2 Pan Pan dissapears in a glowing white flash}

1-UP: Well, I guess I'll have to stop this apocalypse. Wait a second. If Stinkoman diddn't exist, that means that they banned time travel devices in the year 20X1. Oh no.

{1-Up walks off crying}

1-UP: {walking offscreen} And I can't find any good chocolate.

{The Paper comes down}

Fun Facts

I got permission from Joshua to use any Tampo Email references and use his character.
fading from existance is a reference to the Back to the Future trilogy.
The Lappotron is a parody/reference to the Lappy 486 and it won't be replaced for a long time.
30X2 Pan Pan is a character from previous 1-Up emails that you may or may not have read.

Other Character Email 1-Up/chocolate

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

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