Other Character Email 1-Up/life2
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
1-UP EMAIL 86!
An email in 1936. This shall explain a lot about the power of the chosen one and how they were chosen.
Cast (in order of appereance): Trogador, Trogdor, The Homestar Runner's Mother, The Homestar Runner, The Kaiser, The Devil, Old-Timey Bubs, Old-Timey Marzipan, Fat Dudley, The Football Player, The Smart One, The Rooster
Transcript
{Cuts to space of the real world in 1993}
NARRATOR: In the year 1993, A star from the farest reaches of the galaxy had exploded. It was known as the Home Star. The only people that have seen it is Mike, Matt and Mitchell. The Home Star had been destroyed because of the unproper chemicals in the star's course. It had turned into a worm hole into the far reaches of white space. Everything that doesn't exist in the real world goes to white space. The Home Star had created it's own dimension and rested on the system of all cartoon and fake universes.
{Cuts to White Space. There is a huge explosion and we see a flaming dragon with a reguler dragon}
NARRATOR: In the year 1997, The Home Star had exploded and started a peaceful galaxy. Two mystical dragons were born from this explosion. They are what began life. They were known as Trogdor and Trogador. Trogdor decided to live on earth and start giving life to the Homestar Runner planet known as Earth which was an exact copy of the earth seen in the real world.
{Cuts to Trogador shrinking himself and flying into an orb}
NARRATOR: The Homestar Runner Universe had been born so that the calender had to start all over again. Life had once again begun. Trogador left Trogdor on Earth. Trogador decided to hide himself in an orb with the Star Power which would be sent to someone in 1935 ogf the Homestar Runner Universe. But, What they diddn't know is that this dark orb contained a powerful evil that would curse their life forever.
{Cuts to 1926 where a baby is being held up by his mother}
MOTHER: I shall name this baby, The Homestar Runner. Named after our universe and all the rumours going around.
{Cuts to the 1936 field}
NARRATOR: The Homestar Runner grew up without knowing what was going to happen. He would be the chosen one to hold the orb.
{Cuts to Hell where The Devil and The Kaiser are talking}
THE KAISER: Are you sure that he is the one? Should he be chosen to hold the orb of darkness?
THE DEVIL: ...
THE KAISER: Very well.
{Cuts to The Homestar Runner holding an orb}
NARRATOR: From that day on, The Homestar Runner held the orb.
{Cuts to The Homestar Runner kicking a can down the street}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hmm... Maybe, I could sell this can for a couple of cents and a penny.
{Old-Timey Bubs walks in with a bag of fanmail}
OLD-TIMEY BUBS: You have some new mail, lad.
{The Homestar Runner takes the message and Old-Timey Bubs leaves}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hmm... {singing} This is a fun time email song.
{Cuts to a close-up of the letter}
Dear The Homestar Runner STOP, I goad you to go on a journey with your friends to find the Meaning of Life STOP. There will be many hazards along the way, but with luck and intellect, you will achieve the task STOP. Sincerely STOP, Sir-Sham-Sam
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wow. The Meaning of Life. I've alwayswanted to know that.
{The Homestar Runner's image can be seen reflected in a long and complicated telescope, which the camera follows until it reveals Old-Timey Strong Bad on the other end, peering out. He puts it down, looking malicious}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: The Meaning of Life? We'll make Parsnip Pie.
{Short pause}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: I mean, We'll find the meaning of life first.
THE STRONG MAN: {Flexing his arms} RRAAAAHH!
{Cut to a scene with The Homestar Runner, Old-Timey Marzipan and Fat Dudley standing in front of the 'Parsnip Depot'. A sign on it reads, "No hobos!"}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: First we'll need some cool weapons.
OLD-TIMEY MARZIPAN: What about that orb you're holding?
{Short pause}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: What?
FAT DUDLEY: {Musically, waving his arms} Bo bo bo bo bo, bo bo, bo bo!
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: This orb? No. It just summons the Dragon-Man.
{Old-Timey Strong Bad walks in}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: I shall be the smashing type of the guy when I find the meaning of life.
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: What?
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: We'll have a duel.
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: What?
{Fade out in the form of a black circle. We see Old-Timey Strong Bad and The Homestar Runner standing with their backs facing each other, Strong Man and The Sneak on the left side (Old-Timey Strong Bad's side) and Marzipan and Fat Dudley on the right (The Homestar Runner's side )}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: Five paces, turn and fire.
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: What?
{Old-Timey Strong Bad starts walking away, but The Homestar Runner doesn't. The Football Player walks in}
THE FOOTBALL PLAYER: Quickly. I'll fight Strong Bad with my friends while you escape.
{Stlilko and The Rooster come onscreen while The Homestar Runner and the other run offscreen}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: Do you guys think you can handle me? Are you asking for a duel?
{Old-Timey Strong bad runs up to The Smart One}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: You are tall. But, That won't stop me from...
{Old-Timey Strong bad jumps up and starts shooting The Smart One with his gun}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: Bam-Bam-Bam!
{The Smart One walks away}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: Once again, Sir Strong Bad triumphs.
THE ROOSTER: {clucks}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: Heh. You'll go quickly.
{Old-Timey Strong Bad uses his gun to shoot The Rooster. The Rooster runs offscreen}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: Who's next?
{Cuts to The Homestar Runner in a cave. He notices a wand}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: If I put this orb with that wand I might be able to find out the meaning of life.
{The Homestar Runner attaches the orb to the wand. He suddenly becomes smart}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wow. I finnaly know the meaning of life. But, I think it'll be best if I gave this wand to Marzipan.
{Cuts to The Homestar Runner with Old-Timey Marzipan in the 1936 Field}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: I think you should have this wand. It appears to give you smartness.
{Old-Timey Marzipan takes the wand}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now I'll do a dance.
{The Homestar Runner does his trademark dance, to the trademark music}
OLD-TIMEY MARZIPAN: Wow. We finnaly know the meaning of life. The meaning of life is-
{The sound of a record rewinding resonates briefly. The following text appears onscreen: (SCENE MISSING!). Cuts to The Homestar Runner writing altter to reply}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: {writing} Well, Sam-I-Am. It apears that the meaning of life was a couple of obvious answers the whole time.
{Short pause}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now I'll do a dance.
{The credits roll}
