Other Character Email 1-Up/topsecret
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
1-UP EMAIL 88!
Orano gets Sticklyman on to his side and 1-Up finds out something.
Cast (in order of appereance): 1-Up, Stinkoman, Sticklyman, Dark Stinkoman
Transcript
{Cuts to 1-Up and Stinkoman with some Power Crunches at Stinkoman HQ}
STINKOMAN: This is called adding. If I have 2 power crunches and I add 2 more power crunches, What do I have?
1-UP: Some power crunches.
STINKOMAN: This is maths. Not a state-the-obvious competition. Let's try again. If I have 2 power crunches and I add 2 more, What does that make?
1-UP: A very small soup.
STINKOMAN: {sighs} Nevermind.
{Stinkoman leaves. 1-Up walks towards the Windomac 30X6 and sits on the stool}
1-UP: {singing} Tampo Email! Stinkoman Email! Why don't we do a 1-Up Email?
METAL GEAR K TOP SECRET CLASSIFIED INFO
Attached is a copy of your free info from
SINISTECH INC.
Do not download! We repeat,
DO NOT DOWNLOAD.
No, this isn't a virus.
Signed,
~The head of Sinistech Inc.
attachment: metal_gear_k_classified.rtf
1-UP: {typing} Top Secret? Metal Gear K? What? No. That's a rip-off of the original Metal Gear. I don't like cameos in my email show. Well, Goodbye Deleted.
{The email is deleted. Cuts to Sticklyman in his lair}
STICKLYMAN: Grr... None of my minions ever destroy Stinkoman.
{Dark Stinkoman appears out of nowhere}
STICKLYMAN: What? Stinkoman?
DARK STINKOMAN: No. I'm a clone.
STICKLYMAN: Oh. What do you want?
DARK STINKOMAN: Well, Remember Orano?
STICKLYMAN: {gasps}
DARK STINKOMAN: You still owe him.
STICKLYMAN: Yes. I remember.
{Cuts to a flashback of 1-Up Email 50. 1-Up and Sticklyman are fighting in the flashback. A huge blast is formed and Sticklyman starts to crumble}
STICKLYMAN: No! Aaaaaaah!
{Sticklyman crumbles up in the blast. Cuts to Sticklyman falling in a rainbow background}
STICKLYMAN: {voiceover} I travelled through dimensions and portals. I waited for the the chance to jump into a vortex that would lead back to 20X6 where I rule over my minions. Ever since Master X left my side and betrayed me. So, I eventually made it to a place called Hellven which was in between Hell and Heaven. People go there after they die if they've been-
DARK STINKOMAN: {voiceover} I know, I know. They go there if they've been half good and half bad.
STICKLYMAN: {voiceover} Then, Orano saw me and brought me back to life. But, I was a zombie and I was under his control. I also meet my long lost son. I somehow evaded control. I killed Homestar Runner and escaped.
{The flashback changes to a zombie version of Sticklyman with Homestar Runner's dead body}
DARK STINKOMAN: {voiceover} Parents are pathetic.
STICKLYMAN: {voiceover} Indeed.
{The flashback changes to Sticklyman ordering Tampo to do something}
STICKLYMAN: {voiceover} After that, I escaped Orano and I regained control over my minions. Now, I owe Orano for bringing me back to life.
{Cuts back to Sticklyman and Dark Stinkoman talking in Sticklyman's lair}
STICKLYMAN: Okay. So, What do you and Orano want?
DARK STINKOMAN: Well, First we need a body for Orano's soul. His soul is currently just in a virtual holigraphic body.
STICKLYMAN: I know who he could take over.
DARK STINKOMAN: Okay. Next, We'll need a way to get the Dark Elf and destroy 1-Up.
STICKLYMAN: We could steal Project Ken.
DARK STINKOMAN: Okay. Good. We have everything planned out.
STICKLYMAN: Enjoy this day while you can, 1-Up! Because by tommorow, We will rule the world!
DARK STINKOMAN: This is definitely Top Secret.
{Cuts to a black screen. The words "To Be Continued..." appear on the screen in white writing}
TO BE CONTINUED...
