Other Character Email 1-Up/spam

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

1-UP EMAIL 70!

It's time for the 3rd 1-Up Specail Email. After the badness of Email 20 and 50, I'm going with something a little different.

Cast (in order of appereance): Gunhaver, Steve, Mitchell, Alpha Stan, 1-Up, The Cheat, Strong Bad, Coach Z, Pom Pom, Dark Stinkoman Clone

Transcript

{Cuts to a black screen where the words "2004-2005" appear}

MITCHELL: {narrating} In the year 2004, A boy named Mitchell noticed that he was unpopuler with the Wiki. He was insired by Futuramaooy's Stinkoman Emails. He decided to have one more go at Emails after failing to understand the Transcript Standards. As of 2004, 1-Up was introduced and a star was born. 1-Up had been known as Kidstar before Stinkoman 20X6 the game. The Wiki had agreed that he was either called Extraman or Kidstar. Then, Stinkoman 20X6 came out and some plot holes had to be filled. Now, Before I tell you more... I shall introduce to the public... 1-Up Email 70!

{Cuts to the Cheat Commandos HQ where Gunhaver, Steve and Mitchell are standing there with the Alpha Stan who also appears to be wearing sunglasses. Music can be heard now. 1-Up enters, bobbing up and down to the beat. He dances for a bit, then begins to sing}

1-UP: {singing} It’s been a while, but I’m back on top.

GUNHAVER: {also singing} Gonna rock you harder than an omega-cup.

STEVE: {also singing} I lost my animation skills back in ‘94.

1-UP: Now here is email, and he’s gonna tell you some more. {stops singing}

{The email pops up}

TO 1-Up, Mitchell0 and CE1,
I think a good way to get people to stop smamming would be to call in the Homestarmy.
They have like, a lot of members.
In conclusion, bye.
-SC III

{Pronounces "TO 1-Up, Mitchell0 and CE1" as "To 1-Up, Mitchell-Zero and See-One}

1-UP: {typing} Well, I just met Mitchell. But, Who's See-One? And why would you email about Spam Protection, Santa Claus?

GUNHAVER: That could be useful. Maybe, You could download it.

1-UP: Yeah, I know. But, This is a pretty dumb email... especcaily for a specail.

MITCHELL: Well, Why don't we just answer it and get on with the Specail?

1-UP: I guess. {typing} Hmm... The Homestarmy. I don't need the Homestarmy. Besides, I have a better way of deleting spam and useless junk. Well, I'm bored. What now?

GUNHAVER: Maybe, We could answer a few other emails.

1-Up!
There's a message in my Alpha-Bits! It says
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
-Peter Griffin

1-UP: {typing} Really? That's what my Alpha Bits say.

GUNHAVER: Hmm... You reallly neeed to learn how to use a gun. I'll teach you.

1-UP: I've already used one before.

GUNHAVER: Yeah. But, That was once.

1-UP: Why don't we just check another email.

STEVE: I haven't gotten any lines yet.

1-up.
Does "The Price is Right" still suck in 20X6?

The Great Aussie Evil

1-UP: {typing} Yes, It does. They banned it because it sucked so much. I have to figure out a way back home.

STEVE: Well, I know a guy that could help you. He is a scienstist. He's latest invention is a portal that can do anything you want.

1-UP: Wow, This is boring. When will there be a plot.

GUNHAVER: Hmm... Well, Maybe we could-

1-UP: No. No "Could." I want "will" not "could."

{Cuts back to a black screen}

MITCHELL: {narrating} We are back. The story of 1-Up continues. As I was saying, The author had to fill in the plotholes. So, It turns out that Kidstar was the name of 1-Up because he's mind was erased, so he thought he was Kidstar for a while. But, All was not well. For after the 20th email, 1-Up owned a Mansion and that is when the spamming started. I'm sure that we all remember what happened when No Loafing came along. So, After we got everything sorted out, Tampo Emails came along. This inspired 1-Up emails to start storylines. As you guys remember the 30X2 storyline. 1-Up was trapped in 30X6. Now, Here is a video clip of the original 1-Up Email... Number 1.

{Cuts to the field. The Cheat holds up a sign saying "First ~~Strong Bad~~ 1-Up Email!" The sign is taken offscreen. 1-Up walks in}

1-UP: Hello, I am 1-Up. I will be playing Kidstar in this act.

STRONG BAD: {walks onscreen dressed up as Stinkoman} I am Strong Bad. Now, Let's get this crap started.

1-UP: I want to be the guy too.

STRONG BAD: {as Stinkoman} No way. Your just a kid. Maybe, When you are older. Holy Crap!

MITCHELL: {offsceen} Cut!

CHERRY GREG: {offscreen} Strong Bad, Stinkoman doesn't say "Holy Crap."

STRONG BAD: Well, That sucks.

{Cuts to the same spot. But, This time, Strong bad has been replaced with Coach z in a Stinkoman suit}

MITCHELL: Take 2. Action!

1-UP: I want to be the guy too!

COACH Z: {as Stinkoman} Nor way! Your jorst a kird. Maybe, When your orlder.

1-UP: Aww... But, I want to be the guy...

COACH Z: Hey, Loork, 1-Orp! It's Parn Parn and he's on fry!

MITCHELL: {offscreen} Cut!

CHERRY GREG: {offscreen} Coach Z, You said "Fry" and not "Fire."

COACH Z: What a bad jorb...

{Cuts to the same place. But, This time Steve is in a Stinkoman suit}

MITCHELL: {offscreen} Okay, I hope we get it right this time. Action!

1-UP: I want to be the guy too!

STEVE: {as Stinkoman} No way. Your just a kid. Maybe, When your older.

1-UP: Aww... But, I want to be the guy...

STEVE: Hey, Look, 1-Up! It Pan Pan and he is on fire!

{Pom Pom dressed as Pan Pan bounces onscreen on fire}

POM POM: {gives the half eye look}

MITCHELL: {offscreen} Cut! Strong bad, Is that real fire?

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Umm... Yes.

{Cuts back to the black screen}

MITCHELL: {narrating} Umm... So, I guess we are back with the 1-Up email.

{Cuts back to the Cheat Commandos HQ. 1-Up, Gunhaver and Steve are playing checkers}

MITCHELL: {voiceover} So, I guess we are back. While we were watching the recording session for the first 1-Up Email, the crew have been playing games and waiting for a plot.

{Short pause}

MITCHELL: {voiceover} I said "Waiting for a plot!"

1-UP: King me.

STEVE: Crap!

GUNHAVER: {sighs}

1-UP: This email is pretty random. When will there be a plot?

GUNHAVER: Maybe, There will never be a plot in today's-

{A dark Stinkoman clone crashes in through the wall}

DARK STINKOMAN: Ha! I found you!

1-UP: Oh No! It's you!

GUNHAVER: You know him?

1-UP: Yeah. I fought him in Hellven.

GUNHAVER: What?

1-UP: It's a world between Hell and Heaven. It has a hotel, court and an Angevil. You go there if you've been half good and half bad in life. I was declared to go back to earth. But, This guy is a Stinkoman clone I created. How did you get back to Earth?

DARK STINKOMAN: I used the elevator.

1-UP: Oh, darn. I forgot. Robots can travle anywhere by robovator. Hmm... But, How'd you get to 2005?

DARK STINKOMAN: Well, I talked to Pan Pan from 30X2 and he gave me a detecter because he thought I was the real Stinkoman. The detecter detected you in the year 2005. So, I came here using future Pan Pan's time machine.

1-UP: Grr... You shall pay.

STEVE: I'm just glad that there is a plot.

{Everybody looks at Steve with an annoyed look}

STEVE: What? I haven't had any lines in a while.

DARK STINKOMAN: Die!

1-UP: Darn, I don't have my powers.

GUNHAVER: {points to the kitchen} 1-Up, Use the forks!

1-UP: The force?!

GUNHAVER: The forks! The forks!

1-UP: Oh.

{1-Up runs into the Kitchen and runs back with two forks}

DARK STINKOMAN: Mwuhahahaha! Itnstead of having a long action-packed fight now, how about I kidnap you.

1-UP: No! Otherwise, It'll be "To be Continued..."

{Dark Stinkoman grabs 1-Up and jumps off}

TO BE CONTINUED...

Fun Facts

Dark Sttinkoman come from 1-Up Email 59.
If you haven't seen the Simpsons, then you might not know where the forks joke is from.

Other Character Email 1-Up/spam

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

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