Other Character Email The Unguraits/Realm of the Dead
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
The Unguraits get an email and end up in a portal to the Realm of the Dead. However, Bat follows them and plans to make his old army rise again. Since when did he have an army? I guess you'll find out soon...
Cast (In order of appearance): Ungurait #4, Bat in a Bucket, The Unguraits, Contestro Sevornkey, Nen Yim, Jan, Bat's army
Transcript
{Fade into the Realm of the Dead. Ungurait #4 appears to be trying to make a portal.}
UNGURAIT #4: Almost... Almost.... {a portal opens with an image of what appear to be The Citadel.} Yes! Now they can get here and I can help them!
{Cut to the Metal Tree. Bat in a Bucket is hanging upside-down with his eyes closed. His eyes open.}
BAT IN A BUCKET: It is time.
{Fade in to the Citadel. The Unguraits (#'s 1, 2, and 3), Contestro, Nen Yim, and Jan are walking.}
CONTESTRO: How far away is this Base? It feels like we've been walking forever. I already ate Nen Yim's tail!
NEN YIM: What?? {Looks at her back to see a stub of what her tail used to be.} How could you eat my tail?!?
CONTESTRO: I'm hungry!
UNGURAIT #1: Everybody shut up! We're probably almost there. I mean, I'm sure it won't take us to email 100 to get there. That'd be torture!
JAN: Don't say that, or it might happen.
UNGURAIT #1: Shut up. Nen Yim, print out an email. {Nen Yim's Belty prints out the following email. He read "ABNORMAL" yelling.}
I bet that in some completely ABNORMAL way your deceased brother will come to life as to go along with the so called "plot." Enjoy living while you can, The Main Purpose of Death, ApocalypX
UNGURAIT #1: {"typing"} Whatever happened to "Dear The Unguraits" or "Hey Ungur-guys!" or even "Dear Jawas"? {"clears screen"} I mean, do you care anymore? You coulda just sent this to some random guy and they'd be like "Oh, this must be for me!". Next time, please adress who you're writing to. It's too confusing. Anyway, I highly doubt our brother will come back to life, either normal or ABNORMAL. {a portal opens} What the- What is this portal? Why is it here?
CONTESTRO: Maybe it's a portal to a magical land where food is glass and every tree is made of paper!
UNGURAIT #1: Contestro, paper is made from trees.
CONTESTRO: Can't it be both?
UNGURAIT #1: ...Let's just go in.
{pan over to Bat watching them go in. He quickly follows them in. Cut to the Realm of the Dead. A portal opens and the Unguraits, Contestro, Nen Yim, and Jan come out. Bat comes out and immediately hides.}
UNGURAIT #1: Where are we?
UNGURAIT #4: {offscreen} You're in the Realm of the Dead.
UNGURAIT #1: Who are- {gasps}
UNGURAIT #4: Yes, it is me. Your brother.
NEN YIM: I thought there was one missing.
UNGURAIT #1: Why have you brought us here?
UNGURAIT #4: I want to help you. I can only escape if I'm leaving with a relative that is alive. You, my brothers are my relatives and are alive! I can escape and help you defeat the Death Seed Virus!
UNGURAIT #1: Seems reasonable. We have missed you since you were killed.
CONTESTRO: Hold on! {pause} Where's the food made of glass? {long, awkward pause}
{Cut to a different part of the Realm. Many soldier zombies are standing in perfect rows. Bat in a Bucket gets in front of them.}
BAT IN A BUCKET: {to soldiers} My army! Tonight is the night! {army cheers} We will rule the world once more! Now onward to the portal! {leaves with the army following, in perfect sync.}
{Cut back to the portal. The Unguraits and the others are about to go in when the ground shakes. They look in the direction Bat's army is heading toward. The army stops.}
BAT IN A BUCKET: Get out of our way! I have a world to conquer!
UNGURAIT #1: Where'd that army come from?
BAT IN A BUCKET: I've had it for many decades. They've just been on vacation.
UNGURAIT #1: Decades? You mean you had an army before this show even-
BAT IN A BUCKET: That's right! I even ruled the world until those meddling rebels killed my army and forced me to go into hiding!
UNGURAIT #1: You ruled the world?
BAT IN A BUCKET: You really didn't learn much in history class, did you?
UNGURAIT #1: Well, you can't leave unless you are with a live relative!
BAT IN A BUCKET: {laughs evilly} Who told you that nonsense? Anyone can leave the Realm of the Dead as long as there is an open portal to the Living World!
UNGURAIT #1: But our brother #4 told us that-
BAT IN A BUCKET: Your brother? {looks at #4} I'm assuming you mean him. Aren't all deceased inhaitants zombies who want to feast on brains?
UNGURAIT #1: #4, is this true?
UNGURAIT #4: Yes! I was going to trick you into letting me come with you so I can be free to eat, but now, I guess I must go to the Living World myself!
CONTESTRO: That was unexpected.
UNGURAIT #1: No! Even if you are our brother, we won't let you go to the Living World!
BAT IN A BUCKET: That's great and all, but I really have to reclaim the world here, so if you could just get out of my way, I will shut the portal and leave you here so I can.
NEN YIM: Never! {To Unguraits} You guys get your brother. Me, Contestro, and Jan will hold them off! {transforms into a giant Cobra}
UNGURAIT #1: Okay!
CONTESTRO: Can't I wait until tomorrow? I'm tired.
NEN YIM: Wimp.
CONTESTRO: I'm not a wimp! Fine, I'll fight.
{Nen Yim, Contestro, and Jan head toward the army while The Unguraits fight Ungurait #4. After about 53 seconds of dramatic battle, over 80% of the soldiers are defeated. Each one defeated disolves into the ground. After the Unguraits defeat #4, he disolves into the ground as well. After about 7 more seconds, all the soldiers are defeated.}
BAT IN A BUCKET: No! My army! So many years of planning and waiting, gone! I'll get you for this! {enters portal}
UNGURAIT #1: I can't believe our brother only let us come here just so he could eat brains...
CONTESTRO: Don't worry. It was probably for the best. Now let's go before anymore zombies come to get us. {They all go in the portal as it closes.}
{Fade to black. The words "Click here to email The Unguraits" appear.}
Fun Facts
- Ungurait #4 was killed in Doomsday.
