Other Character Email The Unguraits/Anthology of Interest
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
The future alternates kidnap the Unguraits, Contestro, and Kyle to save the future from disaster!
Cast (In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Kyle, Contestro Sevornkey, Future Bat in a Bucket, Nen Yim, Daren Sevornkey, Dangeresque, Gunhaver, Bogmire, Alternate JJJ, Alternate Jan, Alternate Contestro, Silent Rip, The Siren, Trevor, Jan, Death Seed Virus, Matt Wilson, Rya Botkins (cartoon), Joel Dawson (cartoon)
Transcript
{Fade in to a futuristic wasteland. The Unguraits, Kyle, Contestro, and Future Bat in a Bucket jump out of a time portal.}
UNGURAIT #1: Ugh...what happened?
FUTURE BAT IN A BUCKET: {distorted} I have tran-transported you to the future-future.
CONTESTRO: AHHH!!! A freaking future freak!
FUTURE BAT IN A BUCKET: {distorted} Yes, after Doomsday took ove-over the world, he severely da-damaged me and I had to be rebuilt. Unfortunately, they were low on cash.
KYLE: It's mainly the eye that's ceeping me out.
FUTURE BAT IN A BUCKET: {distorted} Yeah. They tried to remove it. Anyway, Doomsday took over the wor-world after those demons made you fall on the grou-ground from way up there. I came to rescue you and then take you back to before you went in the cannon.
CONTESTRO: Freak!
FUTURE BAT IN A BUCKET: {distorted} And I have also been equip-equiped with an atomic cannon, understa-sta-sta-sta-sta-sta-sta-sta-sta-sta-sta-stand?
CONTESTRO: Yes.
UNGURAIT #1: Yeah, that's great and all, but we need to check emails before we go back in time.
FUTURE BAT IN A BUCKET: {distorted} Is that all you ev-ever think about? You can use my old Batty 999.
UNGURAIT #1: Great! Let's check email now in the year...umm...
FUTURE BAT IN A BUCKET: {distorted} 2837.
UNGURAIT #1: Right! Let's check!
Dear Ungurait-O's, Hey guys! I been looking through that weird "Bubs Concession Stand Catalog" thing, and I saw something that I think you'd like. It's called a What-If Machine. Why don't you get one and find out what would've happened if you all went seperate ways? This email was entierely too long, The Noid
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} Listen, Pizza Man 76, you need to make your emails shorter. This is just rediculous, man. Anyway, we're sur BIAB has one, right?
FUTURE BAT IN A BUCKET: {distorted} Yeah, I have one o-of those. {get a What-If Machine} Here it is! Just ask it a question and pull. Who should it be?
The Unguraits
Kyle
Contestro
Death Seed Virus
The Unguraits
UNGURAIT #1: We'll do it. We were asked to in the email. {to Machine} What if we went our seperate ways? {pulls lever, zoom in on the screen. Everything that happens next is on the screen. Cut to the Unguraits' computer room.}
UNGURAIT #1: You know guys, I'm starting to question why we hang out. I'm thinking we need to break up.
UNGURAITS #2, 3, AND 4: Okay. {they leave}
{Cut to an evil lair on another planet. There areseveral Ungurait hatred decorations such as an Ungurait sandbag nailed to a pole with knives stuck through it. You guys imagine what else there is.}
VOICE: {offscreen} They're nothing but lowly theives. They claim to be heroes, butthey steal things from innocent people and I shall destroy them to make he world a better place. {pan over to Nen Yim}
NEN YIM: For I am Nen Yim, top bounty hunter and princess of te planet Errontra! Now to check to see where they are. {pan to a screen of a tracking device she is holding. There are 5 dots scattered on the map.} Five? I thought there were 4. I must check into this, but {throws device behind her followed by a window breaking} if they are seperated, they are helpless! I can finally destroy them once and for all! Now to go to Area 51! {presses a button on her belt and she transports to Area 51. Cut to said place}
DAREN SEVORNKEY: I am the leader of Area 51. Do you think you can keep everything in this place a secret?
UNGURAIT #4: Sure! And do you know Contestro Sevornkey?
DAREN: I'm his uncle.
UNGURAIT #4: So all I have to do is look at alien stuff and research them?
DAREN: Yes. And don't ket any escape. {CRASH! Pan over to Nen Yim, walking up to Ungurait #4.}
NEN YIM: Hello, Ungurait #4. I am Nen Yim, a bounty hunter sent to destroy you and the others by me.
DAREN: INTRUDER! Get her! {several workers charge towards Nen Yim}
NEN YIM: I have nothing against you, but if you stand in my way, I shall destroy you. {they continue charging} Oh well. {transforms into a giant, rabid pitbull and roars loudly and scares all the workers and they run away.}
DAREN: You're on your own, son {runs away, screaming}
{Nen Yim turns back to normal and approaches Ungurait #4. Cut to a wall shows that shows a shadow of Nen Yim picking him up and turning her arm into a shorp blade. She sticks it through his heart and drops his corpse to the ground, blood shooting out of the hole. She leaves. Cut to the stage for a movie called "Dangeresque 10:The Untitled Movie".}
UNGURAIT #3: Dangeresque, you have to get to the airport before Nitron gets away with all that stolen nuclear bomb blueprints to destroy the world!
DANGERESQUE: I will, but don't you think he would send a minion to destroy us? {Nen Yim walks onstage}
NEN YIM: I have been sent by Nitron to kill this information source you have been using! I shall destroy him with my shape-shifting! {turns into a large viper and eats Ungurait #3 whole and leaves}
DANGERESQUE: Umm...oh no. He's dead. Help. {Cut to the Cheat Commandos Headquarters Playset.}
GUNHAVER: If you want to become a Cheat Commando, you need to pass the test. First, the verbal exam. Do you have enemies and if so, how many?
UNGURAIT #2: Umm...a lot?
GUNHAVER: ...Okay. Next, are you friends with any of our enemies? Don't say Contestro, because we got that done. He's with us now.
UNGURAIT #2: No.
GUNHAVER: Last one, will any of your enemies crash through the wall right now?
UNGURAIT #2: Maybe. {Yen Yim enters the room}
NEN YIM: DIE! {kills Ungurait #2 with a knife and leaves}
GUNHAVER: You failed. {Cut to the field}
NEN YIM: Ungurait #1 is he most powerful. Oh well. {presses a different button on her belt and an nuclear explosion on the Unguraits' house appears in the background} Yes! Now I must learn about this fifth Ungurait. {leaves}
{pan out from the screen}
UNGURAIT #1: We get killed by a hot alien? That's not happening to us. Not ever!
{The Paper}
Kyle
KYLE: Ooh! Ooh! Can I do it? I've always wanted to see my fantasies come to life!
UNGURAIT #1: Sure. We'll pull for you.
KYLE: What if we went to an alternate dimension?
{The Unguraits pull the lever. Zoom in on the screen. Everything happening next happens on the screen. Cut to the Unguraits' house. The Unguraits are answering an email.}
UNGURAIT #1: Email, what happened?
Dear 4 Bandit Guys, Why don't you go to the edge of the world? I promise there is not an interdimensional portal there. Sincerely, Bogmire
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} You know, that's agreat idea! {not typing} Kyle! {Kyle comes in} Pack some bags! We're going to the edge of the world!
KYLE: But the world is round.
UNGURAIT #1: That doesn't mean there's not an edge! Let's go! {cut to a place with a sign saying "Edge of the World"} I told you, Kyle. There is an edge.
KYLE: That's a little suspicious.
UNGURAIT #1: Hey there's a portal! The emailer said there wasn't one! Let's leave!
BOGMIRE: Not so fast! {pushes them into the portal. Cut to an futuristic city. The Unguraits and Kyle jump out of a portal.}
UNGURAIT #1: Where are we?
KYLE: I told you.
UNGURAIT #1: Shut up anyway, let's look for someone who can help us. {They get up and start walking. They eventually see an alternate Jhon Jhonnathan Jhonson.} Hey, can you tall us where we are?
ALTERNATE JJJ: Yeah! NOT Free Country USA! And this thing needs more violence! {gets a machine gun, blasts in random places, and laughs maniacally. The Unguraits run away.}
UNGURAIT #1: Yeesh. I thought 4Wimps liked to tone down cartoons. Not make them ultra violent.
ALTERNATE JAN: That's not 4Wimps! That's 4Terminators! They love to make cartoons so violent, not even adults can watch it! {laughs maniacally} Now I must destroy you! {gets a rocket-launching bazooka and fires it and fires it at The Unguraits and Kyle, who dodge and run away.}
UNGURAIT #1: Thiss must be a place that's opposite of our world!
BOGMIRE: {offscreen} Bingo, Bubby! {Pan over to Bogmire} I have sent you here for revenge/screen time! I'm planning to strand you here and make you suffer!
KYLE: So you sent us to an opposite world?
BOGMIRE: Yes. I'm gonna go destroy the portal to the normal world! {leaves}
UNGURAIT #1: We can't let him do that! If he destroys the portal to the normal world, we'll be stranded here! We gotta-- {bumps into Alternate Contestro}
ALTERNATE CONTESTRO: Where do you think you're going, interlopers? I cannot allow you to disturb Bogmire's maniacally diabolical plan! I must eliminate you before you can halt him from eradicating the portal to the ordinary demention.
UNGURAIT #1: Uhh...look! A new species of bug!
ALTERNATE CONTESTRO: {looks where they pointed} Where?!? {THe Unguraits and Kyle leave. Cut to the portal. Bogmire is about to destroy it.}
UNGURAIT #1: Not so fast, Bogmire! {Hits bogmire with Alternate Contestro's light blue cap, which knocks him down.} Quick! The portal's shrinking! {They jump in. The portal disappears. Bogmire gets up.}
BOGMIRE: What? No! Anything but that! I don't wanna stay here! {Cut to the regular dimension. The Unguraits and Kyle jump out of a portal.}
KYLE: So Bomire's just gonna stay there?
UNGURAIT #1: Pretty much. Now let's celebrate by going to Jibney World!
KYLE: Oh bay! Jibney World! {They leave. Zoom out from the screen.}
CONTESTRO: I wanna go to Jibney World.
{The Paper}
Contestro
CONTESTRO: Ooh! Ooh! ME! {knocks everyone out of the way and approaches the machine} What if I was human? {pulls lever}
{Zoom in on the screen. Everything happening next is on the screen. Cut to the Cheat Commandos Headquarters Playset. Gunhaver is checking hjis email on the Alpha while Contestro is playing Stinkoman 20X6 on the Screen. Silent Rip comes in.}
SILENT RIP: Shouldn't we be reserving that in case of an emergency?
CONTESTRO: The Siren will take care of it right, The Siren?
THE SIREN: {blares one time}
CONTESTRO: See?
SILENT RIP: Well, okay, but I don't like it.
CONTESTRO: I'll just turn this off when I defeat Harvax XVII. {Silent Rip leaves. The "Game Over" screen plays.} Darn It! {Throws controller at the screen. It (in slow motion) hits the screen and a laser zaps Contestro and he turns human. He has black hair, the same blue shirt, blue pants, the sunglasses, ten skin, and red tennis shoes.} Cool, I'm human! Time to do human stuff! ...What do humans do? {Gunhaver goes over to Contestro}
GUNHAVER: Who are you, human?
CONTESTRO: I'm Contestro.
GUNHAVER: Yeah, right, Contestro's a cheat! The Siren, why didn't you say something?
THE SIREN: {blares sadly}
GUNHAVER: Aww, The Siren, I can't stay mad at you. {to Human Contestro} But I can mad at you as long as I want! Fightgar, get in here and throw this guy out! {Fightgar comes in and grabs Contestro. Cut to a the front door. Contestro is thrown out (Think Fresh Prince).Cut to Trevor's house. Contestro is on the couch and Trevor is in a chair.}
CONTESTRO: So how do I act human?
TREVOR: Well, Contestro, you've come to the right human male. You see, there are 5 steps in acting human. First, talking. You've pretty much got that down. Next, walking. Walk for me. {Contestro get up and tries to balance on his legs, but falls down.} No. No. No! You have to stand up straight! Like this: {Trevor stands up}
CONTESTRO: It's just that I'm not used to these long sticks coming out of my hips.
TREVOR: You mean legs? {Contestro stares at him blankly} Just get up. {Contestro gets up and balances.} Now walk. Put one foot in front of the other. {Contestro gets up and puts his left foot in front of his right, but doesn't do vice-versa and starts slipping. Zoom in on Trevor, who has a shocked look after Contesto fully slips and breaks his legs then screams. Cut to the St. Jibneys Hospital. Contestro is in a wheelchair.} Let's skip walking. The next one is a house. You have your lair. Next is a brain. Since your a lost cause, you can't be helped. And last, is a girl by your side.
CONTESTRO: A girl? Why?
TREVOR: Contestro, don't be so nieve. Without girls, we wouldn't be here.
CONTESTRO: Why not?
TREVOR: Do you know where babies come from?
CONTESTRO: AHH!!! {crashes through the window purposely}
{Cut to Contestro's lair. Contestro walks through the door. Jan notices him and jump in front and then strikes a karate pose.}
JAN: Who are you and what is your phone number?
CONTESTRO: It's me, Contestro.
JAN: No way! He's a cheat! Get out! {throws him out in the same style Fightgar did followed by a peice of paper with her number on it.}
CONTESTRO: That didn't go as planned. {gets up} Well, I'll just go to Nem Yam's house.
{zoom out with two binocular eyeholes peering at Contestro. Cut to see Nen Yim looking through binoculars.}
NEN YIM: How dare he get my name wrong! It's Nen Yim! Not Nem Yam! {presses a button on her belt and a nuclear explosion appears on Earth.} Time for cake! {laughs}
{zoom out}
CONTESTRO: Maybe she would make a good girlfriend...
{The Paper}
Death Seed Virus
UNGURAIT #1: We don't have time for this!We need to save the world! Bat, could you throw this into the past?
{Future Bat in a Bucket opens the time machine and throws the machine into it. Cut to the Death Seed Virus's Lair.}
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Hmm...maybe I should build a laser that blows up the sun, sending giant fireballs heading toward Earth, thus destroying it! No, that won't work. I'll get destroyed too. But I could build an escape pod! That'll work!
{When he laughs evilly, the What-If Machine falls from the time stream nailing DSV in the head, knocking him out. Fade to black. By the time it fades back in, he wakes up, 5 hours later.}
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Ohh...What happened? What was I talking about? Crap! This thing made me forget my probably evil plot! {pulls machine from his mohawk.} Is this that What-If Machine from that show? Well, to test it, I'll ask it a question. {to machine} What if I created a webtoon about my creator, Rya Botkins? {pulls lever}
{Zoom in. Everything happening next happens on the screen. Cut to the Death Seed Virus's Lair.}
DEATH SEED VIRUS: {yawns} I haven't thought up an evil plan in a while. I can't think of any! Grr...Argh! Well, I'll just sit here. I have thousands of fans that will eventually give me ideas. {cricket chirps, after 27 seconds, it dies.} That's it, I need to make a plan to make me more popular. {light bulb appears over his head} I've got it! {light bulb falls down and breaks} I'll make a cartoon about my creator! I mean, it's not like I'll be sued or anytihng!
{Cut to DSV's Virrus 404. He begins to make a cartoon. after 7 seconds, he is finished.}
DEATH SEED VIRUS: It's done! {laughs evilly} Wait, why am I laughing like that? Oh well. {laugh evilly}
{Fade to black. Fade in to Matt Wilson's house. He is sitting in front of his computer, bored.}
MATT: I'm bored. Let's see if there's anything worthwhile to do. {clicks mouse. He clicks again and looks intrigued. Cut to the screen. DSV's cartoon plays. Joel Dawson and Rya are in Charismaville. Rya kicks Joel and "The End" shows. Cut to Matt, who looks mad.} This sucks! That's copyright infringement! I'm totally gonna sue him! {Cut to a courtroom. A nuclear bomb goes off and the place blows up. Zoom out to DSV's real lair.}
DEATH SEED VIRUS: That test sucked. Well, I'll ask it a real question. {to machine} What if I ruled my own futuristic utopia? {pulls lever. A message shows saying "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again". DSV reads it aloud.} Crap! Oh well. I'll just try to remember what I was thinking of. {leaves}
{The Paper}
Fun Facts
- The What-If Machine is from Futurama.
The Unguraits
- Nen Yim is an alien from the poll for email 62, "Rya" to rig the Unguraits' house with traps, but didn't make the fianl cut.
- The fifth Ungurait represents Grate, who is also from the same poll.
- Gunhaver befriending Contestro references (as far as Mr. Cradgage knows) Paradox.
Kyle
- The sent email is fake.
- 4Wimps is a 4Kids parody from GEmail.
- Jibney World is a parody of Disney World based on the running gag, Jibney.
Contestro
- Harvax XVII is the 9th boss from Stinkoman 20X6.
- Contestro being thrown out the door is basedon the running gag from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air of characters (usually Jazz) being thrown out of the door.
- St. Jibneys is named after the running gag and was previously from Glass.
- Trevor is a character from OCE Tampo.
Death Seed Virus
- Rya and Joel are from Bonus Stage.
- Matt Wilson is the creator of that cartoon.
