Other Character Email The Unguraits/Spear
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Arrowhaver shoots them with a spear tranquilizer dart!
Cast (In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Arrowhaver, Shadowy Figure, Cruelskull Killer, a cow
Transcript
UNGURAIT #1: We's checked the emails about...umm...I've lost count.
Unguraits, If you are reading this e-mail right now, you are probably having a spear thrown at you and have became an Ungurait shish-kabob because my friend Sam wants to spear you. If you survived, then I think you have to clean up your house. I think it's contaminated. -Danny Fenton
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} Well, I don't think we have to--{All 4 of them get tranquilizer darts shot at them. They collapse. Pan to the right to see Arrowhaver and the Shadowy Figure.}
SHADOWY FIGURE: YES! They're dead! Now I can finally rule the world without them to stop me!
ARROWHAVER: Those were tranquilizer darts.
SHADOWY FIGURE: WHAT? Tranquilizer darts?!? I told you to get the spears!
ARROWHAVER: I couldn't find my spears. Next time, I'll look harder.
SHADOWY FIGURE: THERE WON'T BE A FREAKING NEXT TIME!!!!! {zaps Arrowhaver, causing him to disappear} I need a more diligent assassin. Maybe if I...{fade to a blank wall. The Shadowy Figure puts a poster on the wall labeled "WANTED! THE UNGURAITS! REWARD IS $500,000!" it is 500 times his size.} This should get some attention. {leaves. Cruelskull Killer walks by.}
CRUELSKULL: Hmm...that's alot of money...{Cut to the Shadowy Figure's office}
SHADOWY FIGURE: Okay, you'll need a spear.
CRUELSKULL: Why can't I use my ax or my sword?
SHADOWY FIGURE: Sure, that'll work.
{cut to the Steely 801}
UNGURAIT #1: {all 4 wake up} Uhh...what happened? {an ax flies past them, slightly missing them} Holy crap! {pan over to Cruelskull holding a sword}
CRUELSKULL: I'm here to kill you!
UNGURAIT #1: Why?
CRUELSKULL: You're worth $500,000!
UNGURAIT #1: {holds up a large bag of cash} We can give you $600,000
CRUELSKULL: Oh, in that case give it here. {takes bag and runs off}
UNGURAIT #1: That was easy.
{Cut to Cruelskull's house. The phone rings. Cruelskull picks it up.}
CRUELLSKULL: Hello? {screen splits to show the Shadowy Figure}
SHADOWY FIGURE: Are they dead yet?
CRUELSKULL: They gave me $600,000. So tough luck, moron. {hangs up}
SHADOWY FIGURE: CRAP! If I want to destroy them, I'll have to do it myself. {leaves. Cut to the Steely 801}
UNGURAIT #1: Who are you?
SHADOWY FIGURE: I am your death bringer!
{The Shadowy Figure attempts to zap them with intense psychic strength, but the Unguraits dodge. They grab a loose wire from a wall and attaches it to the Shadowy Figure. He is zapped and collapses.}
SHADOWY FIGURE: You may have defeted me this time, but next time you won't be so lucky. {leaves}
UNGURAIT #1: We did it! Let's go do something! {Cut to a farm}
UNGURAIT #2: Why are we here?
UNGURAIT #1: So we can do this! {punches a cow} Wow, that was less fun than it sounded.
{The Paper}
