Other Character Email The Unguraits/Dragons
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Contestro's checkin' this one.
Cast(In order of appearance): Contestro Sevornkey, Rusty Duck Clan, Trogdor, Blue Eyes White Dragon, Rayquaza, Dagron, Carteen Sraven, Crackotage, Cheat-Eating Lobsters, Crackotage look-alike, The Unguraits
Transcript
{At Contestro's lair. There is nothing there. I won't rhyme. Contestro comes in. Brings a computer. This is a haiku.}
CONTESTRO: I'm filling in for The Unguraits.
THAT'S IT! YOU'VE ASKED FOR IT!
NOW YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! I'M SENDING
FIRE-BREATHING AND HYPER BEAMING DRAGONS
OVER TO WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW! THIS
IS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT ANSWERING MY EMAIL,
YOU SLEAZEBAGS!
Your future murderer,
Shim-Sham-Sam
CONTESTRO: {typing} WHAT?!? What did I ever do to you?
{A roar is heard in the distance.}
CONTESTRO: Are you kidding me? {yelling} EVERYONE! RETREAT!!!
RANDY: Why?
CONTESTRO: DRAGONS ARE COMING!
RANDY: What makes you so sure?
{A distant roar}
CONTESTRO: THAT'S WHAT!
{Everyone panics. They all go outside as the dragons listed in the cast destroy the lair. Carteen comes in.}
CARTEEN: I'm gone for five minutes and you summon dragons again?
CONTESTRO: I didn't summon them this time!
CARTEEN: Are you sure? You've pulled stunts like this before.
{Cut to a flashback (without the effect) in Contestro's Room with several puple candles and a summoning circle.}
RANDY: This is never gonna wo--
{A dragon comes in through the roof.}
RANDY: AHH!
{Cut back to the now crushed lair.}
CARTEEN: Oh, well. Did you get the plans?
CONTESTRO: {holds up a peice of paper} Yep.
CARTEEN: Did you get the laser gun?
CONTESTRO: {hold it up} Yep.
CARTEEN: Did you get the Steely 701?
CONTESTRO: Umm...no. The Unguraits are gonna kill me! Unless I get another one and tell The Unguraits nothing happened. I'm a genius!
{Cut to Wal-Mart.}
CONTESTRO: Where can I get a Steely 701?
STORE WORKER: {Really Crackotage} You can get one over there in the montrous lobsters' lair. Hee hee. HA HA!
CONTESTRO: That guy seemed familiar.
{Cut to that lair Crackotage told them about.}
CARTEEN: I think that was Crackotage.
{pan out to show monstrous, giant lobsters}
CONTESTRO: YA THINK?!?
{Cut to the computer store}
CONTESTRO: Do you have a Steely 701?
STORE WORKER: {still Crackotage} You can get one far away where the giant dragon stays. hee hee HA HA!
CONTESTRO: Have we seen that guy before?
{Cut to Trogdor's lair}
CARTEEN: Yes we have.
{Cut to the other computer store.}
CONTESTRO: Do you have Steely 701s?
STORE WORKER: {Crackotage look-alike} Go to aisle 4.
CONTESTRO: Look, buddy, I'm gonna kick your {beep} if you don't tell me where the {beep} I can find a {beep} Steely 701!
CARTEEN: That's not him.
CONTESTRO: Oh.
{Cut to the (new) Contestro Lair with Contestro on the Steely.}
CONTESTRO: Well, Sam, I survived, and The Unguraits won't even know their computer's broken. Where are those guys anyway?
{Cut to the jail cell}
UNGURAIT #2: You figure a way out yet?
UNGURAIT #1: No, but we will get out of here soon...I hope...
{The Paper}
