Other Character Email The Unguraits/Destroying the World
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
The Unguraits try to destroy Saturn!
Cast(In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Kyle, Saturn Police Force, Saturn Police Chief, Koon, Saturn Judge, Saturn Lawyer
Transcipt
UNGURAIT #1: We're back. Don't need this {knocks the Steely 701 off the able} anymore. For behold:the Steely 801! {puts the Steely 801 on the table} Better than that peice of crap! Email time!
dear the uniguraits, have you ever tried to destroy the world? sincerly, H*R 700
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} Dear H*R 700, Have you EVER gone to school and learned how to type? I mean, if we didn't have gibberish-to-word.exe, we wouldn't answer this! {clears screen} So, destroy the world, eh, Speechless? Well, we'll go destroy Saturn. I mean, what have they ever done for us? {not typing} Kyle! {Kyle comes in}
KYLE: Yes?
UNGURAIT #1: Go get the giant bomb! We have some work to do.
{Cut to deep space. The Unguraits are wearing space suits. Kyle is holding a huge bomb.}
UNGURAIT #4: How much further until we get to Saturn?
UNGURAIT #1: Not much further, hopefully.
KYLE: There it is!
{Pan out to see the entire planet of Saturn.}
UNGURAIT #1: Kyle, plant the bomb.
{Kyle plants the bomb and sets it off, only damaging a small chunk of the planet.}
UNGURAIT #1: We're gonna need a bigger bomb. {the jet-pacs begin to sputter} What was that?
{The jet-pacs run out of fuel, causing the Unguraits and Kyle to plummet to Saturn's surface.}
UNGURAIT #1: This can't be good. Is there any fuel on this planet?
'KYLE: {sarcastically} Yeah, I'll go to the gas station right over there.
UNGURAIT #1: Okay, then we're stranded. {The Saturn police force come} Hey guys. Heh heh...what's up?
SATURN COP #1: Are you the guys that destoyed the army base?
UNGURAIT #1: No, never.
UNGURAIT #4: But we just used the bomb, remember?
SATURN COP #2: You're coming with us.
{They drag The Unguraits and Kyle. Cut to the Saturn Police Station.}
SATURN COP #1: These five were caught blowing up the army base.
SATURN POLICE CHIEF: Take them to the jail cell!
{They do that.}
SATURN COP #1: Your case is tommorow.
UNGURAIT #1: How are we gonna gat a good lawyer?
{A man comes in with a tie, a stick leg, and a speaker for a mouth.}
MAN: You don't need to get one, for you've got one. I am Koon, lawyer.
UNGURAIT #1: I think I've heard something like that before.
KOON: I can get you 5 outta here in no time.
{Cut to a courtroom}
SATURN JUDGE: Okay, the case of the Entire Planet of Saturn VS. The Unguraits and Kyle is in session. Koon, you're up.
KOON: You may think these 5 blew up the army base, but you're wrong. I have proof these 5 didn't blow it up. Roll the clip. {plays the clip of The Unguraits reading a book (which didn't happen)} These 4 were reading a book at the time of the explosion. They couldn't have done it.
SATURN LAWYER: Objection! If they were there, why were they here?
KOON: They have a teleportation device that's activated by explosions anywhere in the universe. I rest my case.
SATURN LAWYER: I call Ungurait #4 to the stand. {Cut to the stand with Ungurait #4 in it.} Is it true that you admitted that you blew up the army base?
KOON: Objection! He's umm...mentally retarded!
UNGURAIT #4: Excuse me?
KOON: You're mentally retarded.
UNGURAIT #4: Oh yeah. I am.
UNGURIAT #1: I admit that H*R 700 told us to do it. And if we wouldn't, he would chop our guts to make tacos. He's on Earth.
{Cut back to the Steely 801 with a flashback effect.}
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} And that's how we were almost arrested on Saturn...with a plot hole. SHUT UP!!!
{The Paper}
Fun Facts
- If you don't understand why The Unguraits have a Jaro named Kyle, please read this.
