Other Character Email The Unguraits/Footrest
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
The Unguraits tell the Folky Tale of Footrest Freddy.
Cast(In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Footrest John, Saddy Dumpinton, Coach Z, The Dancing Brothers, The Mayor, Kyle
Transcript
UNGURAIT #1: The next show is a family show. It is...the email.
I ammmmmmmm your freakin' footrest! Rest your feet on me! DOn't delete this message, as it is very footresty and importand.
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} Look, we'll let you be our footrest, but first, we must tell you the Folky Tale of Footrest John. {Cut to Folky Tale Town, a little Cheat-like character is walking.}
UNGURAIT #1: {narrating} You see, Footrest John was a Cheat who wanted to be everyone's footrest.
FOOTREST JOHN: Can I be your footrest?
SADDY DUMPINGTON: I just saw an inocent child hang himself! Isn't that great?
FOOTREST JOHN: No. {cries}
SADDY DUMPINGTON: Sure it is! It's the best thing ever!
FOOTREST JOHN: You have issues.
UNGURAIT #1: {narrating} Then--
COACH Z: {narrating} Then The Dancing Brothers {The Paper labeled "The Dancing Brothers" and the Dancing Brothers appear.} appeared to dance!
SINGERS: {While TDB are dancing} Gonna have a good time tonight! Gonna have a good time tonight! Gonna have a--{record scratches}
UNGURAIT #1: {narrating} Then The Dancing Brothers' spines got ripped out and they were unable to dance. {The aforementioned happens. TDB go offscreen as SD and FJ jump back onscreen} Coach Z, what are you doing here, anyway?
COACH Z: {narrating} I like those guys.
UNGURAIT #1: {narrating} Go away! Anyway, The Mayor came and--{The Mayor doesn't come} The Mayor came and--{still doesn't come} HEY MAYOR! GET OUT HERE! {The Mayor comes in} Okay. The Mayor came and told Footrest that if he didn't stop trying to be a footrest, he'd have to leave town.
FOOTREST JOHN: But Mayor, I need to be a footrest! I need to be one! {The Mayor is now furious.} Can I be your footrest? {The Mayor kicks him out of the town.}
{Cut back to the Steely 801}
UNGURAIT #1: {typing} So if you're thinking of becoming a footrest, think of how Footrest John turned out, and commited suicide.
KYLE: Is that how you're answering the email?
UNGURAIT #1: Yes. It's the end, and YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
{The Paper}
