Other Character Email The Unguraits/Semi-Normal
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
The Unguraits tell Ductape why most, if not all of the plots invole villains.
Characters (In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Kyle, Contestro, Nen Yim, Jan, Death Seed Virus, Ometar, Veranda, OMG LIEK IT'S TEH OWNAGE, Bat in a Bucket, Techno, Homeskull Whiner
Transcript
{Fade into the Unguraits and friends walking in Death Seed Virus's Citadel.}
UNGURAIT #3: Wow, this place seems bleak.
CONTESTRO: Yeah, this is even worse than what's out there.
NEN YIM: I'm not even sure this leads to the Virus's lair.
UNGURAIT #1: It has to. Why else would it be so big and filled with weapons. It was obviously designed to keep us out of something.
NEN YIM: I suppose.
UNGURAIT #1: Hey, we really have to check an email.
NEN YIM: Wow, you sure do that a lot. {prints out the following email from the Belty.}
Dear Unguraits. Yes, I mean all of you. Do you do anything besides fight and run from villians? Why does your show have so many villians? How did they suddenly appear? I never had any trouble. You know, what if you just never had them around and just spent the time doing whatever you wanted to do? Or just live semi-normally, like I do. I enjoy doing what I do. -I'd like an answer worthy of my time, please. Ductape Blader.
UNGURAIT #1: {"typing"} Well, Tape-Leg, here's how it goes: Mr. Cradgage has a one-track mind. He goes with one thing and sticks with it almost every time. {clears screen} I mean, he thinks that what'll make it popular; Lots of bad guys and exciting plots. I mean, it's worked for a while now, but now it's just getting old. He just makes us do this crap. I mean, we know it's getting old, but he'll eventually snap out of it, as hinted by Season 11. {clears screen} If I know him like I think I do, he'll introduce a bad guy working for DSV that is very dangerous, but talks like a retard.
{Pan out to see DSV watching on the Central Computer.}
DEATH SEED VIRUS: Hmm.. that's a good idea. Ometar! Bring out the very big, very dangerous, Prudench upgrade! {Cut to Ometar's room. Ometar stabs Veranda and she becomes a ghost.}
OMETAR: Okay! {to Veranda} Hold on. {leaves; Cut to a large metal door. Ometar opens it and a red visor is visible. Cut back to the Belty in the Citadel.}
UNGURAIT #1: {still "typing"} And that's pretty much all you need to know about that subject. {not typing} Now let's get back to-
OMG: HEY WAZZUP?!?
UNGURAIT #1: What? Is that the moronic villain we told Duckie about?
OMG: LOL! I DUNNO!
UNGURAIT #1: I'm guessing that means yes.
OMG: MY NAMEZ OMG LIEK IT'S TEH OWNAGE! LOL MAN! LOL MAN! LOOOOOOOOOOL MMMMMMMMMMMAN!!
JAN: Wow. I never thought I'd ever see someone that's even dumber than Contestro.
CONTESTRO: Yeah... HEY!
OMG: LIEK, I'M HERE TO KILL J00 WITH MY LAZOR GUNS! LOL!
UNGURAIT #1: Stop saying LOL. It's annoying.
KYLE: Wait, didn't you also say he'd be very dangerous?
UNGURAIT #1: Yeah, but I highly doubt that- {OMG activates an extremely dangerous nuclear bomb strapped to his back.} AHH! A nuclear bomb?!?
OMG: LOL! THIS NUCULAR BOMB WILL BLOW STUFF UP! LOL MAAAAAAAAAAN!
UNGURAIT #1: Won't you be killed too?
OMG: NAW, I GOTS INDESTRUCTIBLE ARMOR AND IT TAKES OVER A HUNDRED-BILLION HITS TO KILL ME! LOL IMHO :)!
UNGURAIT #1: But that gives about a hundred billion hits per second for about 10 seconds.
OMG: I DON NO MATH, BOY!
UNGURAIT #1: About 1 trillion hits.
OMG: :O! I'M OUTTA HERE! {leaves}
NEN YIM: Well, that was a complete waste of time. Why would they build a moronic, leet speaking robot?
UNGURAIT #1: And why didn't they send Techno?
{Cut to the Alliance of Dismally's Base. Fade into Bat's room.}
BAT IN A BUCKET: Now Techno, go kill the Unguraits and their friends. Once you do, or if you fail, come back and kill Death Seed and the others. Understand?
TECHNO: {nods head}
BAT IN A BUCKET: Good. Now go and kill them! {Techno leaves} Everything in my plan is going perfectly... {laughs maliciously}
{Cut back to the Citadel.}
UNGURAIT #1: Look! {A sign labeled "The Alliance of Dismally's Secret Base" appears} That's sort of... untrue.
{They walk toward where the sign was pointing. Techno flies down as they go offscreen. He looks around for the Unguraits and others. He notices them walking toward the secret base and runs toward them. Bombs start to go off and Techno, the Unguraits and the rest stop. Pan up to the sky where OMG LIEK IT'S TEH OWNAGE is dropping bombs down below.}
OMG: LOL! BOMBAGE!
{As bombs go off, Techno retreats. The Unguraits and other run toward the base. A bomb goes off near Kyle and he's sent flying the opposite direstion as the others. The bombs stop.}
JAN: Where did those bombs come from?
UNGURAIT #1: I don't know. Is everyone here?
CONTESTRO: Let's see... {looks around} Kyle's gone.
UNGURAIT #1: What?? We have to go find him!
CONTESTRO: Can't we let him find us? It'll make a great sub-plot!
UNGURAIT #1: Maybe. It might get people off our bacsks about the whole villain thing.
CONTESTRO: Yep, a whole series of not quite emails starring Kyle!
UNGURAIT #1: Might make it crowded... but okay!
{Cut back to the AoD Base in Bat's room.}
BAT IN A BUCKET: You've failed me again? Well, kill the others!
TECHNO: {nods head and leaves}
{Cut to Ometar's room. He is stabbing Veranda (who apparently likes it). She is laughing the whole time. Techno comes in. He shoots them with a machine gun attached to his arm. It just goes through them. He leaves. Cut to Homeskull's room. Techno does the same with the same outcome. Cut to the Contral Computer. Techno does the same while DSV sits in the chair. Techno turns it to face him to reveal that what he shot was a doll. DSV comes in and starts wailing on Techno. He beats him to a bloody pulp and to finish him off, rips off his head. Techno's data evaporates into the Virtual Trash Compactor. DSV starts heading toward Bat's room.}
BAT IN A BUCKET: Oh hello Death Se- {DSV grabs him by the neck}
DEATH SEED VIRUS: So, you think it's funny to betray me? Well, let's see how funny you think it is when I kill you! {rips his wings off. Oil sprays from it.} What the- a robot? {crushes Bat-Bot's torso and its data evaporates} He won't escape me... Noone betrays Death Seed Virus and gets away with it...
{Cut to a metal tree in the dark forest. The real Bat in a Bucket is hanging on it, upside-down. A red button blinks on his cell phone.}
BAT IN A BUCKET: It's been destroyed. Excellent. That robot's destruction will cause a virus that will destroy all data in this virtual realm. Since I only know the code to get to the real world, I should b safe. The others... Well, it's been nice knowing them... {laughs maliciously}
{Fade to black. The words "Click here to email The Unguraits" appear.}
Fun Facts
- OMG LIEK IT'S TEH OWNAGE was originally created by CE1 as a joke.
