Other Character Email The Unguraits/Pure Evil
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Email 25!
Cast(In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Evil, The Trickster, Sidekick Bob, Kyle, Trevor, Tree Monster, Octovolt, ????? ?? ????, Satan, Chorch Commander
Transcript
Part 1 - The Email and the Evil Plan Totally Unrelated to it
UNGURAIT #1: Email 25 is all ours!
Meh Unguraits.
You now have a free ticket to
go on the space station! Please
come over to the space center and
bring some swag.
-Alitrap
UNGURAIT #2: Do we even have a spaceship?
UNGURAIT #1: No. Let's delete this. There's no way we're going to a space station.
{DELETED!}
{Pan out to see Evil is watching them}
EVIL: Look at those 4. We shall destroy them...after I rule the universe, that is.
THE TRICKSTER: What about us?
EVIL: You shall rule, too. But not as much as me. For I'm the holder of the Sacred jewels of Reesespeeses. They shall pay. And we shall win. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
{Pan out to show the entire universe}
{Mr. Cradgage presents: An Ungurait Email. Pure Evil}
{Cut to The Field}
EVIL: {off-screen, loud, booming voice} Attension slaves. I suppose you are wondering what I'm doing in a loud, booming voice. It is because I am going to rule the universe! {Cut to Trevor's universe} I have the 4 jewels of the ancient Pharoah Reesespeeses, and once I reach the Reesespeeses Platforms, you will all obey me. Try to stop me. I dare you. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
UNGURAIT #1: That can't be good.
{Cut to Evil's Lair.}
EVIL: Now those fools will go to the ancient Reesespeeses Platforms, and I shall destroy them right there!
JARO: Is that why you announced it to the entire universe?
EVIL: Yes. Off I go. You 3 make sure The Unguraits get there. If they don't, you're going to be scrap metal! You got that?
TRICKSTER, SIDEKICK BOB, AND THE JARO: Yes, sir!
EVIL: Good. Now go! I'll be going too.
{All 4 of them leave. Cut to the forest. The Unguraits are going to the place Evil told you about.}
UNGURAIT #1: Oh, crap. I think there's some sort of tree monster here. I thought I saw one move.
UNGURAIT #2: No, that's just you.
{A giant tree monster with a horrifying face jumps out.}
TREE MONSTER: Not so fast! You're in my forest now, and I don't like visitors!
{The 3 bost are hiding in a bush.}
JARO: We can't let that tree monster destroy him! But they'll recognize us.
THE TRICKSTER: Go out and say you're on they're side.
JARO: {bounces out to face the monster} Leave them alone, you monster!
{He bounces all around as the tree tries to attack him. It eventually tires and falls.}
JARO: Come on! Let's go before it gets up!
{They leave. Cut to a desert}
UNGURAIT #1: So you're a jaro running from the Chorch Commander?
JARO: Yes.
UNGURAIT #1: What's your name?
JARO: My name is...Kyle.
UNGURAIT #1: So Kyle, how did you escape?
KYLE: I heard of their plan, and ran away before they could do anything to me. I live to serve Master Tampo.
UNGURAIT #1: Do you want to join us on our quest to stop Evil?
KYLE: Sure. {The Unguraits leave} The plan is working perfectly. HAHAHAHA!
UNGURAIT #1: Are you coming?
KYLE: Yes. {leaves} So when are we gonna get there?
UNGURAIT #1: I don't know. But I do know we will stop Evil's plan.
KYLE: {to himself} We'll see about that.
UNGURAIT #1: What?
KYLE: Nothing.
{They encounter the giant, electrifying octopus known as Octovolt}
UNGURAIT #1: What's an octopus doing in the middle of the desert?
OCTOVOLT: I'm no ordinary octopus. I am Octovolt! Lord of electricity!
UNGURAIT #1: How?
{Octovolt shocks The Unguraits and Kyle with 200 volts of electricity.}
OCTOVOLT: Turn back, or I shall use 2000 volts!
UNGURAIT #1: But we need to stop Evil's plan!
OCTOVOLT: I don't care!
UNGURIAT #1: #2, get the bucket of water!
{Ungurait #2 gets a bucket of water, and dumps it on Octovolt, defeating him. They continue to go on.}
END OF PART ONE
Part 2 - They get there
{Cut to the Reesespeeses Platforms. Evil is asleep. The Unguraits and Kyle arive.}
UNGURAIT #1: Evil? Evil. EVIL!
EVIL: What? Oh, you're here.
UNGURAIT #1: You knew we would get here?
EVIL: I wanted you to get here. I want to destroy you right here. I sent 3 of my best men to make sure you get here. Like {points to Kyle} that Jaro right over there.
UNGURAIT #1: Kyle? He's our friend.
THE TRICKSTER: We just sent him to make sure you get here so Master Evil could destroy you once and for all.
KYLE: He's right.
EVIL: Tie them up to the pole, so I can destroy them with the ultamate power of these jewels.
{The Trickster and Sidekick Bob tie them up.}
UNGURAIT #1: Kyle...we thought you were our friend. We see we were wrong.
KYLE: I--{looks sad}
{Evil uses the jewel on the platforms, and transforms into Force of Evil}
FORCE OF EVIL: Now I shall finally destroy you.
????: {offscreen} Not so fast! {throws a vase at FoE's head, temporarily knocking him out.}
UNGURAIT #1: Who was that?
{Pan over to see that Kyle was the one that knocked out FoE.}
KYLE: That was me!
THE TRICKSTER: Kyle? Traitor!
KYLE: We're gonna defeat you all! {unties The Unguraits} Now let's get them!
{The Unguraits attack The Trickster and Sidekick Bob.}
THE TRICKSTER: We're out of here. Come on Sidekick Bob, let's go back to the Lunar Warehouse! {The Trickster and Sidekick Bob leave.}
{FoE gets up}
FORCE OF EVIL: You won't defeat me! I shall destroy you if it's the last thing I do!
UNGURAIT #1: Go for it.
{FoE begins to attack them.}
END OF PART 2
Part 3 - The Showdown
{FoE uses his attack:All Elements. The Unguraits dodge just in time.}
FORCE OF EVIL: Hold still so I can KILL YOU!!!
UNGURAIT #1: No!
UNGURAIT #2: Didn't we have a grow/shrink ray?
UNGURAIT #1: Yes. That's it! We'll grow!
{Cut to The Unguraits' House. They grow to an enormous size.}
UNGURAIT #1: You can't destroy us now!
FORCE OF EVIL: Fools! We're all equal size!
UNGURAIT #1: Exactly.
{They attack FoE. FoE dodges and uses All Elements and hits the Unguraits, knocking them down.}
FORCE OF EVIL: Ha. Ha. Ha. You're weak. You don't have powers of unimaginable strength like ME!!! NOW I SHALL USE MY {powers up a giant, dark ball} DARK SHADOW BALL TO DESTROY YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL! {laughs demonically}
KYLE: Oh no. I have to help them! But how? {looks over to see a bottle of Fancy 'Chup} That's it! {Picks up the bottle, and powers up his spring and sprays the 'Chup into FoE's eyes.}
FORCE OF EVIL: AHH! MY EYES! {accidentally drops the fully-powered shadow ball on himself and there is a bright shine of light} NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
{The flash disappears and reveals The Unguraits at their house at normal size.}
KYLE: I guess I have to go back to the Lunar Warehouse now.
UNGURAIT #1: You know the Chorch Commander's gonna be furious when you get there.
KYLE: Yeah, well. Bye. I have to go now.
UNGURAIT #1: Maybe not.
KYLE: Huh? You mean?
UNGURAIT #1: Yes. You can stay here for as long as you like.
KYLE: Yay! Let's celebrate! Let's have a party! We beat Evil/Elly, and he/she's not coming back!
UNGURAIT #1: You're right. Let's party!
{Cut to Hell with Evil and Satan.}
EVIL: This sucks. I will return. And when I do, I shall be victorious!
SATAN: Shut up and watch Time Squad.
{Cut to the Lunar Warehouse.}
'CHORCH COMMANDER: WHAT?!?
THE TRICKSTER: Kyle has joined the jawas. I don't think he's coming back.
CHORCH COMMANDER: We'll see about that. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! {fade to black}
{Credits}
Fun Facts
- The jewels and Pharoah Reesespeeses are from this email. As well as Evil being the one having them.
- The grow/shrink ray is from this email.
