Other Character Email The Wheelchair/death seed plague

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search

The Wheelchair Email #13

Contents

Summary

The Wheelchair lures Eh! Steve and Bad Steve to a Death Seed Factory.

Cast (in order of appearance): The Wheelchair, Eh! Steve, Bad Steve, George, Grim Reaper, Police men, Floating Creature, Zorkolch

Plot: Eh! Steve's Tragic Death

Computer: Wheely 145

Lines: 107

Page Title: Wheely 145

Release Date: April 19, 2006

Transcript

{Eh! Steve and Bad Steve stare at each other, and The Wheelchair stands between them}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh no! I've got to check my email!

{Cut to Wheely 145. The Wheelchair types the_wheelchair_email.exe.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {singing} I know a man named email! I know a dog named email! I know a cat named email! And a parrot named shut up!

{an email pops up}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} You again? I should delete this, but I feel a little bit sorry for you. I mean, I probably hate him as much as you do. Now let me think of a few not-too-violent ways to get rid of him. There's the get-trapped-inside-a-fire method, falling in lava, some heavy thing crushes them, they get sick....Wait! They get sick! The Death Seed Plague!

{George pops onscreen}

GEORGE: Nice plan, but the closest Death Seed factory is at the edge of town, right next to the deserted mansion on the edge of town.

THE WHEELCHAIR: {not typing} Can't I just take some and spray it on him?

GEORGE: If you wanna get poisoned you can.

THE WHEELCHAIR: That's a risk I'm gonna have to take.

{the camera moves right to show the Grim Reaper sharpening his scythe}

GRIM REAPER: Oh, just getting ready.

{the camera goes back to George and The Wheelchair}

GEORGE: It's better if you just lure Eh! Steve there.

THE WHEELCHAIR: And how do you suppose I do that?

GEORGE: I'll tell if...you give me a big role in the email special.

THE WHEELCHAIR: What happens if I say I will and then I don't?

GEORGE: Them...happens.

{the camera zooms out to reveal five police men}

POLICE MEN: {singing} We are the police men, yes we are! And we will give you a smack with our black-jacks, if you don't follow this contract!

{the middle police man steps forward}

MIDDLE POLICE MAN: {in high voice} If you don't follow this, we will hunt you down! And then you will hang upside-down! The blood will rush to your head, and it'll turn red!

THE WHEELCHAIR: I don't have a head!

ALL POLICE MEN: 'Cause we're the police men!

GEORGE: So we're clear?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Crystal....Hey! A crystal isn't that clear. Shouldn't they say like water or something?

GEORGE: Good, you understand. To lure Eh! Steve to the Death Seed factory all you have to do is make brussel sprouts dipped into chocolate and then frozen.

THE WHEELCHAIR: I never signed that contract, you know.

{Cut to Eh! Steve and Bad Steve. The Wheelchair's wheel is poking out on the right side of the screen. A chocolate covered brussel sprout falls next to The Wheelchair wheel.}

EH! STEVE: Do you small theet?

BAD STEVE: Brussel sprouts dipped into chocolate and then frozen.

{Eh! Steve and Bad Steve run toward the chocolate covered brussel sprout. Cut to the outside of a building. A sign on the building says "Caution: Death Seed inside". Eh! Steve and Bad Steve rush into the building. Munching sounds are heard. The Wheelchair comes onscreen and enters. Cut to a control room. The Wheelchair is inside and is looking into a window that on the other side is a brussel sprout dipped into chocolate and then frozen. Eh! Steve and Bad Steve enter the room. The door behind them clicks and they eat the brussel sprout.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: That was way too easy.

{The Wheelchair presses a button, and Bad Steve and Eh! Steve are sprayed with the Death Seed Plague. Cut to The Wheelchair in an empty room.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: So...I'm trying to build up suspense here. Eh! Steve and Bad Steve have been sprayed with the Death Seed Plague. And well...they have five seconds to live. Um...why don't I just let you get back to the action.

{Cut to the room where the two Steves are. One Steve curls up into a ball and the other drinks a soda. Cut to a close-up of The Wheelchair.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Which Steve is which? I think I know, but do you know, America? And other countries?

{Cut back to the room. One Steve falls down and The Wheelchair laughs. After a few seconds, the other Steve, who is curled up into a ball, stands up.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: He survived!?! I could just leave him in there and starve him, but it would be lots more fun to make a chandelier fall on him!

{The Wheelchair presses another button and a door creaks open. The Steve rushes out. Cut to The Wheelchair on the left side of a hallway. The Steve is on the right side under a chandelier.}

EH! STEVE: Heep! Heep me! The Wheelchair wants to keel me!

THE WHEELCHAIR: You're Eh! Steve I see.

EH! STEVE: Heep! Heep!

THE WHEELCHAIR: So, Bad Steve didn't survive?

EH! STEVE: No.

{Cut to complete darkness. Bad Steve walks onscreen glowing.}

BAD STEVE: Where am I? And what happened to that soda I was drinking?

{a glowing creature in a black hood and cape floats onscreen}

FLOATING CREATURE: Welcome to-

{cut back to The Wheelchair and Eh! Steve}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Keep in your spot, Eh! Steve. Don't move. Um...if you move...uh...the Grim Reaper will get you.

{the camera moves left, revealing the Grim Reaper}

GRIM REAPER: What'd you say about me?

THE WHEELCHAIR: You don't have to go poking in, you know.

GRIM REAPER: Yeah I do.

{the camera moves back to the right}

THE WHEELCHAIR: So without further ado-

ZORKOLCH: {offscreen} Stop!

{Zorkolch runs onscreen}

THE WHEELCHAIR: You just have to show up?

ZORKOLCH: Yes.

THE WHEELCHAIR: That was a rhetorical question.

ZORKOLCH: Oh.

THE WHEELCHAIR: I'm gonna get a step-ladder. {leaves the screen}

ZORKOLCH: Hello, nice person.

EH! STEVE: Wheat happened to Roakman?

ZORKOLCH: Rockholz? Well, let me tell you a little secret.

{The Wheelchair comes onscreen with a step-ladder. He puts it down next to the chandelier.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Now how do I climb this?

{The Wheelchair picks up the ladder and hits the chandelier with the ladder. It falls on Eh! Steve.}

ZORKOLCH: No!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Ha ha! Too bad!

ZORKOLCH: You! You!

THE WHEELCHAIR: You? You?

ZORKOLCH: You!

THE WHEELCHAIR: You-ity you-ity you, you!

ZORKOLCH: You-a-wack, a-wack, you you!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Stop!

ZORKOLCH: Oh, come on. We were having a you battle.

THE WHEELCHAIR: You don't seem to be too upset that the chandelier fell on Eh! Steve.

ZORKOLCH: Oh, Wheelman, you don't understand. No one understands! Not even myself!

THE WHEELCHAIR: I'm ending this email.

ZORKOLCH: Okay.

{cut to the Wheely 145}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} See 145, I got rid of him. So don't tell me to kill Eh! Steve anymore. Okay? Okay. Okay? Okay. Good. Good? TOMATO! {a tomato flashes onscreen} Okay?

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "Eh! Steve" at the end to see what happened to him:

{Eh! Steve crawls out from under the chandelier}

EH! STEVE: I'm a-leave!

{another chandelier falls on Eh! Steve}

  • Click on "kill" at the end to see what happened to Bad Steve:

FLOATING CREATURE: Sorry, I forgot what I was going to say. Welcome to Death Amusement Park! Sixteen thousand rides of fun and free refreshments!

BAD STEVE: They have soda?

FLOATING CREATURE: All that you can drink!

Fun Facts

  • This email was secretly written over the internet because JeRM was traveling at the time.
  • The Death Seed Plague is from Star Wars and is also a running gag on the wiki.
  • The Grim Reaper appears before someone is about to die.
  • The floating creature is similar to a Dementor.
  • The deserted mansion on the edge of town is from stevenapped.
  • A black-jack is a black stick that police men carry around.
  • The Wheelchair and George break the fourth wall.