Other Character Email The Wheelchair/albino cheat

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The Wheelchair Email #36

Contents

Summary

The Wheelchair finds an albino The Cheat in his closet and must run from the law.

Cast (in order of appearance): The Wheelchair, albino The Cheat, George, The Worm, King Snailbert, Bad Steve, a very large snail

Plot: Framed!

Computer: Happy 354

Lines: 129

Page Title: Happy with the 354

Release Date: June 26, 2008

Transcript

{The Wheelchair double-clicks on "email"}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Why am I checking emails with a camera behind me, anyway?

{An email pops up.}

HELP!

MY ALBINO THE CHEAT IS MISSING! HELP ME!

Zoo977

THE WHEELCHAIR:' {typing} So your albino The Cheat is missing, eh - {not typing} Wait, is that a subject in the subject bar!?

{The camera zooms out and The Wheelchair does a tiny jig by moving in circles as confetti falls from the ceiling and noisemakers sound off. Cut back to the Happy 354.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} Anyways, the nine-hundred seventy-seventh registered zookeeper, your albino The Cheat is missing? Well...I don't really care. All righty then, this has been one nice, long, short email. Until next week...

VOICE: {interrupting} {screaming} Mmmmmeeehh! Meeeh! Mmmeh!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Uh...what the crud is that?

{Cut to The Wheelchair opening a closet door. Inside is a white a The Cheat.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Um...why is there an albino The Cheat in my closet?

{George comes onscreen and looks in the closet.}

GEORGE: Um...why is there a-the-Albino The Cheat in your closet?

THE WHEELCHAIR: I don't know!

GEORGE: Well...I was reading the newspaper today, and...uh...look for yourself.

{George takes out a newspaper, which is larger than him by the way, and gives it to The Wheelchair. Cut to a view of the newspaper.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {reading} Flying monkeys take over the world?

GEORGE: Below that.

{The camera pans down to show the article George is referring to.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {reading article title} Albino Cheat Knowing Government Secrets Stolen!

GEORGE: {Cutting back to a normal view of the scene} Yeah, and it says that the kidnapper or anyone conspiring with him will either go to jail or get executed, so...I'm gonna have to turn you in, The Wheelchair.

THE WHEELCHAIR: What!? But...I didn't kidnap The Albino Cheat!

GEORGE: Does it matter? My dad said he'll give me five dollars if I found the kidnapper! {begins to crawl offscreen} {singing} I'm gonna get five bucks! I'm gonna get five bucks!

THE WHEELCHAIR: No...

{Cut to a view of a window as dramatic music begins to play. The camera zooms in on the window, and then cuts to The Wheelchair and zooms in on him, and then back to the window, and back to The Wheelchair. Cut to a view of the side of The Wheelchair's house, with the other side of that window onscreen. The Wheelchair jumps through the window, breaking the glass and landing on the ground. The dramatic music stops.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Ow.

{Cut to The Worm near his hole, looking through a telescope five times the size of him. He looks up at the sky and records something in a notebook. The Wheelchair comes onscreen.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: The Worm! I need to get out of here or else I'll go to prison or die...or something.

THE WORM: That's great. Why should I care?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Because I might die...?

THE WORM: And how's that bad?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Well, can't you...

THE WORM: {interrupting} No! I'm busy! Go away!

THE WHEELCHAIR: But you've dug underground tunnels that...

THE WORM: {interrupting} If you don't go away, I'll eat you!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Eep!

{Cut to George and King Snailbert crawling over to The Wheelchair's closet, where the Albino The Cheat is.}

GEORGE: See, here it is. The Wheelchair stole it. Five bucks, please!

KING SNAILBERT: Well...where is The Wheelchair?

GEORGE: Oh, he fled the scene of the crime. And now what about mah five bucks?

KING SNAILBERT: Later. Where did The Wheelchair go?

GEORGE: Oh, he jumped out that window.

{The screen pans to the left to show the window The Wheelchair jumped through.}

KING SNAILBERT: Er...why did he jump through a glass window when {the screen pans to the left, showing an open window} there's an open window right next to it?

GEORGE: Because he's dumb.

{Cut to Bad Steve sitting in a rocking chair on a porch deck. He is slowly rocking back and forth. The Wheelchair comes onscreen.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Bad Steve! I need to hide from the law at your place!

BAD STEVE: {hopping up from rocking chair} Maybe. Do you have any soda?

THE WHEELCHAIR: {taking out a can of soda with a green label} Well, yeah, but I was just wheeling all around town, so...

BAD STEVE: {interrupting} Just give it to me!

{The Wheelchair tosses the can of soda to Bad Steve. Bad Steve catches it, opens it, and soda blasts out of the can and onto Bad Steve's face.}

BAD STEVE: Come over here, The Wheelchair.

{The Wheelchair goes onto the porch and wheels over to Bad Steve. Bad Steve jumps into The Wheelchair's seat and begins to rock back and forth in it while drinking his can of soda.}

{Cut to George and King Snailbert approaching The Worm, who is still looking into his telescope.}

KING SNAILBERT: The Worm, you didn't happen to see The...

THE WORM: {interrupting} {without looking away from his telescope} Go away.

KING SNAILBERT: But you see, we need to...

THE WORM: {turning toward King Snailbert, his head growing five times its normal size} I SAID, GO AWAY!!

GEORGE: {To King Snailbert} Let me handle this. {To George} Look, if you tell us where The Wheelchair went, I'll give you this {taking out a $100 bill} one hundred dollah bill.

THE WORM: He started walking toward Bad Steve's house. Now go away. {takes $100 bill}

{George and King Snailbert begin to crawl away.}

KING SNAILBERT: Wow, you actually gave him one hundred dollars?

GEORGE: No, it's counterfeit, duh!

KING SNAILBERT: But that's illegal! I could arrest you right now!

GEORGE: And I could show your advisors that embarassing picture of you and that rhino.

KING SNAILBERT: Touché.

{Cut back to Bad Steve sitting in The Wheelchair, drinking his soda. George and King Snailbert come onscreen.}

KING SNAILBERT: Bad Steve, you didn't happen to see The Wheelchair, did you?

BAD STEVE: No.

GEORGE: Dad, he's sitting on it.

BAD STEVE: What? No I'm not! This is a rocking chair, not a wheelchair.

GEORGE: Then why does it have wheels?

BAD STEVE: Um...so I can easily go to a store to buy soda without having to get up.

KING SNAILBERT: Oh, that makes sense. George, let's go. Maybe he went to Keyboard Strong Bad's house instead.

GEORGE: No...Just no. He's right here. Watch. {to Bad Steve} Bad Steve, I'll give you a soda if you turn in The Wheelchair right now.

BAD STEVE: {jumping off The Wheelchair} Okay.

THE WHEELCHAIR: What! Come on, Bad Steve! I gave you a soda!

KING SNAILBERT: All right, The Wheelchair, that's it. There's no way out of this. You're surrounded.

THE WHEELCHAIR: No I'm not. You're all on one side.

KING SNAILBERT: Oh. Right. Well, you're still not getting out of this one.

{Rocket boosters attached to The Wheelchair's wheels start up at that moment, and The Wheelchair flies up and offscreen.}

KING SNAILBERT: Oh. Crap.

GEORGE: Yeah, what I don't understand is if The Wheelchair had those the entire email, why didn't he use them earlier?

KING SNAILBERT: Well, it doesn't matter. To the chopper!

{The screen pans to the left to show a helicopter. George and King Snailbert get in it and it takes off.}

BAD STEVE: {running onscreen} What about my soda!?

{Cut to The Wheelchair hovering high above the ground with his rocket boosters. George's and King Snailbert's helicopter flies up onscreen.}

KING SNAILBERT: Get into the helicopter now or we will use force!

THE WHEELCHAIR: What force?

KING SNAILBERT: Uh...There's a giant cannon-minigun-laser attached to this chopper, and if you don't get into it, we'll shoot you!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Uh...no there's not.

KING SNAILBERT: Oh...Well, if you don't get into the chopper, we'll ram this helicopter into you!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Wait, what?

{The helicopter flies sideways toward The Wheelchair, slightly tilting, and The Wheelchair goes through the doorway and lands inside it. Cut to inside the helicopter. King Snailbert is shown to be flying it.}

KING SNAILBERT: George, quickly! Handcuff him!

GEORGE: He doesn't have hands!

KING SNAILBERT: Oh. Well, wheelcuff him!

{George puts handcuffs around The Wheelchair's wheels.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: You know, I didn't even do anything.

GEORGE: Then why were you running?

KING SNAILBERT: Yeah, why!?

GEORGE: And why was there an albino The Cheat in your closet?

KING SNAILBERT: Yeah, why!?

THE WHEELCHAIR: I think I know why. Somebody...{Cut to a close-up of The Wheelchair's "face"} Framed me.

KING SNAILBERT: Well, you're still going to the dungeons.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Wait, what?

{Cut to a dungeon. A very large snail tosses The Wheelchair into a cell.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh, crap.

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on The Wheelchair at the end to see a scene between George and King Snailbert:

{King Snailbert is on his throne and George is below it.}

GEORGE: Hey, what if The Wheelchair was serious? What if he was really framed?

KING SNAILBERT: Then that'd really suck for him. Oh, and am I forgetting something...Oh yes, you wanted five dollars, didn't you?

GEORGE: Yeah. Gimme it.

KING SNAILBERT: {holding out five dollar bill} Here you go!

{George moves forward slightly as if trying to grab it with his invisible arms}

KING SNAILBERT: {pulls money away from George} Phsych!

Fun Facts

  • This is the first email to ever have had the entire email scrapped and written over. The scrapped email is drastically different from this email.
  • The Wheelchair does a jig when he sees a subject in the subject bar because no one until this email had sent him an email with a subject bar.


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