Other Character Email The Wheelchair/a rope

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The Wheelchair Email #39

Contents

Summary

The Wheelchair breaks out of jail and then tries to stop Mr. Flower.

Cast (in order of appearance): The Wheelchair, Zorkolch, George, a guard snail, King Snailbert, Mr. Flower, The Worm

Plot: Framed!

Computer: Happy 354

Lines: 212

Page Title: Happy with the 354

Release Date: March 4, 2010

Transcript

{Cut to Zorkolch and The Wheelchair in King Snailbert's dungeon.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: So...are we screwed?

ZORKOLCH: Define "screwed".

THE WHEELCHAIR: You know, as in Mr. Flower's going to take away something important every week, and it's been a week since he took away TV.

ZORKOLCH: Oh, well look at it this way: The worst case scenario is Mr. Flower destroys the world.

THE WHEELCHAIR: That's a pretty bad scenario.

ZORKOLCH: Yeah, well I don't care about the world. It's filled with stupid people, smart people who abuse stupid people, and angry farmers.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Right...so why'd you get me out of the gravy boat prison?

ZORKOLCH: Because Mr. Flower has something I want, and I was going to get you to unintentionally deliver it to me. But now we ended up in King Snailbert's dungeon.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Yeah, this is why I don't trust old people.

ZORKOLCH: I'm not old! I'm young for a rock monster!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Yeah, but your rock monster form died. {pause} So, what was that thing you wanted from Mr. Flower?

ZORKOLCH: {sarcastically} Yeah, I'll tell you.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Fine, go ahead.

ZORKOLCH: What? No! I was being - ugh, fine. Back when I worked for Mr. E, Mr. Flower told me he owned a book filled with old rock monster lore, called "A Giant Book About Rock Monsters". That book is the holy grail for rock monsters.

THE WHEELCHAIR: That's...great. Um...why does Mr. Flower have a book about rock monsters?

ZORKOLCH: Oh, before he worked for King Snailbert and Mr. E, he was a librarian. He was fired though when half the books of the library were gone and twenty library books were in Mr. Flower's car.

THE WHEELCHAIR: That's interesting...so why do you want the book anyways?

ZORKOLCH: Yeah, no. That I'm not going to tell you.

{Cut to George in his cell with a key and a shotgun.}

GEORGE: Time to get the heck out of here.

{Cut to a guard snail patrolling a hallway. A clicking sound is heard as George's cell unlocks offscreen and an alarm goes off. The guard snail changes direction and heads to the right and offscreen.}

GUARD SNAIL: Hey, where do you think you're going?

{Shot-gun firing sound}

{George moves onscreen, across the screen, and then offscreen. Afterward, the guard snail comes back onscreen from the right.}

GUARD SNAIL: Hey, you know you missed me and hit the wall, right?

{Cut back to The Wheelchair and Zorkolch in the cell.}

ZORKOLCH: The Wheelchair, I just realized a way we can get out of here: look at where the bars of the cell meet the floor. Usually their either welded to the floor or there's an indentation in the floor or something, but where these bars meet the floor, there's only glue.

THE WHEELCHAIR: The bars don't fall down when you charge into it with your entire might; I already tried it.

ZORKOLCH: {walking toward bars} No, what I'm saying is if you dig something under the bars, you could make them loose.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Okay, so what do we have that's hard, thin, and sharp?

ZORKOLCH: {To the screen} No kids, don't worry, that wasn't innuendo. {to The Wheelchair} I've got a knife. {Zorkolch takes out a knife}

THE WHEELCHAIR: You had a knife in your pocket this whole time!?...What else do you have in there?

ZORKOLCH: Just knives and lint. {Zorkolch crouches down next to where the bar is glued to the floor and begins to dig the knife under the bar.} Now I just have to separate this bar from the floor and we should be free...

THE WHEELCHAIR: Come on, hurry up before the plot advances and George comes back!

ZORKOLCH: Got it!

{Zorkolch knocks over the bar and it falls to the ground. Zorkolch and The Wheelchair exit their cell.}

ZORKOLCH: Now let's go to Mount Cupcakes so I can get that rock monster book and you can stop Mr. Flower!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Yeah, I'll meet you there, evil guy who is obviously going to set me up and put me in a trap, but first I've got to check my email.

ZORKOLCH: Er...what was that you called me? I couldn't hear it so well...

{Cut to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354. The Wheelchair double-clicks "Email".}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Apples.

{An email pops up}

(No Subject)

Dear The Wheelchair,
If you found a rope, what would you do with it?
From,
Coach Z

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} Wow...this question's...really stupid. It's like asking "If you had a piece of wood, what would you do with it?" Well of course I'd hit someone over the head with it! And the same goes for the rope: I'd hit someone over the head with it. {not typing} Wow, that was an easy one. TO MOUNT CUPCAKES!!!!

{Cut to a faraway shot of Mount Cupcakes. The camera does a quick zoom in on it until onscreen is a cave with The Wheelchair and Zorkolch outside of it.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hey, have you ever wondered why a cave as a hideout is so popular?

ZORKOLCH: Nope. Though if I were some supervillian, I'd probably like to live in a cave for some unexplained reason too, instead of some underground laboratory with tons of security.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Riiight. So let's just get this Mr. Flower taking down over with so I can go back home!

{Zorkolch and The Wheelchair enter the cave. Cut to George crawling down the hallways of King Snailbert's dungeon.}

GEORGE: {unaware The Wheelchair had escaped} Hey, The Wheelchair, doesn't it suck to know that you just escaped jail, but now you're back... {A cell with a bar knocked down comes onscreen} WHAT THE HECK!? You escaped!? {The camera zooms in on George for a closeup.} O DER.

{Cut to King Snailbert's throne. King Snailbert is gone, but there's a note on top of it. George comes onscreen.}

GEORGE: Dad! The Wheelchair just es...Wait, you're gone too?

{George picks up the note. Cut to a zoomed in shot of the note.}

GEORGE: {reading note aloud} It's been a week since I took away TV, so now I'm taking away the snail king! Ha ha ha ha ha! I'm the best! And no one can stop me! And if you think...{stops reading} Wow, Mr. Flower really sucks at being not really dumb and cliché.

{Cut to The Wheelchair and Zorkolch going through the dark cave. Zorkolch is holding a torch to light the way.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Couldn't you be carrying something a bit more this century? Like a flashlight?

ZORKOLCH: No. Shut up.

KING SNAILBERT: {offscreen} Hey! I'm a king! I command you to free me from this cage immediately!

ZORKOLCH: Is that...King Snailbert?

{The camera stops panning as King Snailbert, who is in a cage held by Mr. Flower, comes onscreen and The Wheelchair and Zorkolch walk over to him.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Ha ha! You're in a cage!

MR. FLOWER: What the crap!? I thought you were in prison!

THE WHEELCHAIR: You should of known that by planting an albino cheat in my closet and saying that I kidnapped it, you got me angry enough to escape from any prison!

MR. FLOWER: What...are you talking about? Albino cheats?

THE WHEELCHAIR: You know darn well what I'm talking about!

MR. FLOWER: {three-second pause} Nope.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh. So, wait, you didn't frame me?

MR. FLOWER: No.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh. WELL THEN WHO THE FRIGGIN' CRAPPIN' OINTMENT PEELING MONGREL YELLING APPLESAUCE DID!!??

ZORKOLCH: Maybe you kidnapped the albino cheat while sleepwalking?

THE WHEELCHAIR: NO!! THAT'S RE...Okay, let's go with that.

MR. FLOWER: Right...um...this is kinda awkward because I really didn't plan any traps or come up with some diabolical plan to defeat you....

ZORKOLCH: That's fine. All I came here for really was for "A Giant Book About Rock Monsters," anyways. Do you still have it?

MR. FLOWER: You mean that really heavy book that I would have thrown in the trash if I could lift it?

ZORKOLCH: Yeah, that one.

MR. FLOWER: Oh, I keep it in my bathroom. If you take a right here, it's the third cave on the left. I'll guide you...

ZORKOLCH: NO.

{Zorkolch walks offscreen.}

MR. FLOWER: {after a two-second pause} So...

THE WHEELCHAIR: Yeah...um...You make for one crappy villian.

MR. FLOWER: Yeah, this is why I should have went to college. Um...You see the new episode of "Good Times and High School"?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Yeah, I can't believe Becky broke up with Sam!

KING SNAILBERT: IS SOMEONE GOING TO FREE ME!?

THE WHEELCHAIR: No, later.

{Cut to George outside the cave. A rope is lying on the ground next to him.}

GEORGE: Oh look, a conveniently placed rope! I wonder what obligatory purpose it will have when I carry it into the cave!

{George picks up the rope (which is at least thirty times as long as him) and enters the cave. Cut back to The Wheelchair and Mr. Flower, who has now put down King Snailbert's cage on the ground.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: You know, this is kind of boring, with you just standing here doing nothing during the semi finale of the semi season. You should probably do something interesting, like at least grab a Samurai sword and try to cut me in half or something!

MR. FLOWER: Nah, that'd be too violent.

THE WHEELCHAIR: I just realized: What's stopping me from just running over you and grabbing King Snailbert?

MR. FLOWER: Um...well, there isn't much...But you'll have to catch me!

{Mr. Flower picks up the cage King Snailbert is in and runs past The Wheelchair and offscreen. The Wheelchair speeds offscreen after him. Cut to George carrying the rope inside the cave. The Wheelchair rolls onscreen.}

GEORGE: THE WHEELCHAIR!! Ha! I've finally got you!

THE WHEELCHAIR: No time, Geroge. Did you see Mr. Flower run by?

GEORGE: No...

THE WHEELCHAIR: You...didn't? Wow, I must have zoomed past him and not noticed it. What's the rope for, anyway?

GEORGE: Obligatory reasons.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Of course. Want to stretch it out and hold it close to the ground for no reason?

GEORGE: ...Sure...

{The Wheelchair grabs one end of the rope and he and George stretch it out. Mr. Flower runs by a second later and trips over it, dropping King Snailbert's cage also. Mr. Flower falls to the ground, and The Wheelchair goes over to him.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Ha, Mr. Flower! You got owned!

MR. FLOWER: ...Shut the...

KING SNAILBERT: {interrupting} Can someone let me out of this cage already? I've been in here for like...twenty minutes!!

GEORGE: Stop complaining. I was in a cage for a year and a...

THE WHEELCHAIR: {interrupting} Shut up about that already! That's all I've been hearing from you for the last ten emails! We've heard it a hundred times already!

KING SNAILBERT: Just let me out!

GEORGE: No, see, that would be nice, and so I'm going to leave you in that cage and go back to the castle saying you're dead. Then I'll become the new king and be able to order the guard snails to throw you - who I'll say is your evil twin - and Mr. Flower in a dungeon together. With any luck, Mr. Flower will eat you.

KING SNAILBERT: WHAT!?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Don't worry, I'm sure he's being sarcastic.

GEORGE: No.

{At this point, Mr. Flower begins to get up, but The Wheelchair runs over him.}

KING SNAILBERT: Mr. Flower! I demand you to tell me where the key to this cage is!

MR. FLOWER: I...ate it.

{Cut to two guard snails throwing Mr. Flower and King Snailbert in a dungeon together with The Wheelchair and George watching. King Snailbert is not wearing his crown.}

GEORGE: Oh, now this is awesome.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Has it ever occured to you that this might be like...evil?

GEORGE: ...No.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Well, it sort of is.

GEORGE: Nonsense. Now if you excuse me, I have to become dictator.

{George begins to go offscreen, but The Wheelchair grabs him and lifts him up into the air.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Dictator!? Did I just hear that right!? Now that's evil!

GEORGE: Oh come on, it's just for the sake of fun! Now put me down before I order someone to assassinate you.

THE WHEELCHAIR: {while putting George down} You framed me, didn't you?

GEORGE: Nah, that wasn't me.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh yeah? Then who was it?

GEORGE: I have no clue. But anyways, do you know where Zorkolch is? I want to arrest him for being creepy.

{Cut to Zorkolch in a bathroom, leaning over a large books.}

ZORKOLCH: {reading book} On the turn of the year, every year, any rock monster who has swallowed flavored water can undo the damage by drinking poison. Only on this day will the poison not kill you dead. {not reading} Interesting. Rockholz might just not be gone forever.

{Cut to a guard snail standing next to the bars of King Snailbert's and Mr. Flower's cell at nighttime. Only Mr. Flower is visible inside the cell. The Wheelchair comes onscreen.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hey, you know, if you give me the key to this cell, a magical fairy who grants everyone's wishes will appear at the end of the hallway.

{The guard snail looks to the left, then the right, gives The Wheelchair the key, and heads offscreen. The Wheelchair unlocks the cell and goes inside.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Uh...Mr. Flower? Where's King Snailbert?

MR. FLOWER: Oh...I ate him.

THE WHEELCHAIR: You what!?

MR. FLOWER: Oh, don't worry; he'll come out eventually. Now get me out of here.

THE WHEELCHAIR: HECK NO! You friggin' tried to get rid of TV!

MR. FLOWER: Oh...wait...Yeah, he's coming out.

{Cut to a black screen with the words "CENSORED" written across it for three seconds. Cut back to The Wheelchair and Mr. Flower in the cell, this time with King Snailbert there also.}

KING SNAILBERT: I think that was the worst experience I've ever had in my life.

{The Wheelchair picks up King Snailbert and rolls out of the cell, locking it on his way out. He quickly rolls offscreen.}

MR. FLOWER: Oh come on! What about me!?

{Cut to George, wearing a crown, on King Snailbert's throne. The Wheelchair, holding King Snailbert with his invisible hands, comes onscreen.}

KING SNAILBERT: George, get off the throne.

GEORGE: The Wheelchair! You unlocked him from his cell!?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Yep!

GEORGE: But!...Wait, I just realized that I can just throw you right back in the prison.

KING SNAILBERT: Oh yes...I never actually realized that.

GEORGE: THROW THESE TWO IN...

THE WHEELCHAIR: {interrupting} George, I'm going to eat you!

GEORGE: ...Yes, like you haven't said that a million...

{The Wheelchair opens up his seat-mouth and swallows George.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Mmm...takes like snail! {The Wheelchair burps out the crown George was wearing}

KING SNAILBERT: I would be yelling at you right now for eating my son, but he deserved that.

{The Wheelchair puts King Snailbert on his throne and King Snailbert puts the crown on top of his head.}

KING SNAILBERT: All right, now that I'm king again, I want you to get the crap out of here.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Right.

{Cut to The Wheelchair next to The Worm, who is sticking out of his wormhole in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes.}

THE WORM: So is George ever gonna come out of...you?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Well, I didn't chew, so he'll probably end up intact. He was delicious though.

THE WORM: Right.

THE WHEELCHAIR: The ironic part of all this, though, is that I never actually found out who framed me, even after all these adventures.

THE WORM: You probably shouldn't worry about that. It was probably George.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Ooh, I have go to the bathroom. Bye, worm-guy!

{The Wheelchair rolls offscreen.}

THE WORM: ...How does a wheelchair go to the bathroom?

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on The Worm at the end to see a page from George's diary. It reads:
Dear Diary,

I've been trapped inside The Wheelchair's...stomach for
over three hours now. It dark and oily in here, and I find
it repulsive that my cousin's head is inside here also. The
only light I can see is coming from a crack in the...wall,
and when I looked through it I saw something WAI too
disgusting to put in here. But besides that, it's all cool. I
just wonder how I'm gonna get out of this thing. ...Is
that a toilet I hear outside?

George

Fun Facts

  • Zorkolch and The Wheelchair break the fourth wall.
  • Zorkolch saying knifes and lint were in his pocket is a reference to The Dark Knight, where the police report the only things in the Joker's pockets were knives and lint.
  • Part of the email takes place at Mount Cupcakes.
  • The Wheelchair eats George.
  • O DER is some sort of joke or meme or something created by Shadow Scythe.
  • George saying "conveniently placed rope" is a reference to conveniently placed trampolines.
  • This is the first non-special WEmail to be over 200 lines.


Retrieved from "http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_The_Wheelchair/a_rope"