Other Character Email The Wheelchair/cooking show

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The Wheelchair Email #23

Contents

Summary

The Wheelchair gets an email asking him how he eats with no hands, and somehow The Wheelchair interprets that as the emailer wants to see The Wheelchair on his very own cooking show.

Cast (in order of appearance): The Wheelchair, Homestar, The Worm, angry citizens

Plot: None

Computer: Happy 354

Lines: 88

Page Title: Do not try this at home!

Release Date: August 9, 2006

Transcript

{The Wheelchair double-clicks on "Email"}

THE WHEELCHAIR: E plus mail equals email.

{an email pops up}

(none)

Dear rolly guy,

How do you eat or anything without any arms?

From,
Awstin

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} What, you think I ate my arms off? My arms are invisible. You'd be able to see them if I had a glove on or something. In fact, I had my own cooking show once. It was canceled after the first episode. Let's watch.

{Cut to a screen with a green background that has the words "The Wheelchair: Cooking Show" in blue text. The screen fades to The Wheelchair in a kitchen.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hello audience! Today I'm gonna make a delicous cake. {the camera zooms in on a large glass bowl on a table} Let's start by adding two cups of sugar. {The Wheelchair pours two cups of sugar into the bowl} Now let's add a tablespoon of vanilla. {The Wheelchair pours a tablespoon of vanilla into the bowl} I'm adding a cup of flour now. {The Wheelchair pours a cup of flour into the bowl} I can't forget the two large eggs. {The Wheelchair cracks two eggs into the cake and drops the shells in} Yeah, the cake tastes better with the shells in it. Now I just need to add two more cups of sugar. {The Wheelchair pours two more cups of sugar into the bowl} Now, you stir.

{The camera zooms out and The Wheelchair pushes the bowl aside. A breaking glass noise is hear. The Wheelchair slides a new bowl in front of him.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: When that's done, add another cup of sugar for good luck. {The Wheelchair pours in another cup of sugar} You know, I'm gonna add a few more. {The Wheelchair pours in five more cups of sugar} Now, you better have already preheated that oven, because we're gonna bake the cake.

{The Wheelchair puts the bowl in the oven, then walks to another one. He opens the oven's door.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: When that's all done the cake should come out like this. Just we ran out of glass bowls so we had to use a metal one.

{The Wheelchair takes the cake partially out of the oven but screams}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh! Hot! Hot! Ow! I need water! Cold water! Get me some cold water!

{The Wheelchair hurries over to a sink that has water in it and splashes his "hands" into the water. Steam comes out of the water and The Wheelchair is hardly visible until it clears.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Ahhhhh.

{cut to The Wheelchair with the cake in a bowl in front of him}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Now you can cut the cake, and enjoy the delicous meal.

{The Wheelchair slams a knife at the cake, and the knife shatters. The Wheelchair flips the bowl over, and the cake falls to the ground. Smoke goes everywhere, and when it clears, the cake is broken on the ground in a few pieces. The Wheelchair picks one up.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Uh...I think that smoke was sugar.

{The Wheelchair chucks the piece of the cake at the ground and sugar-smoke goes everywhere}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Mmmm...sugar. Um, and that's how you make a Sugarsmoke cake!

{cut back to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} And that brings this short email to a close. So until next time, pigs aren't in the special olympics...or are they?

{the phone rings, and The Wheelchair picks up a phone}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hello?

HOMESTAR: {on phone} Hi, this is your manager. I'm calling you to tell you that people love your Sugarsmoke cakes! People are planning to use them in movies and on mischief night. They even taste good!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Of course they do.

HOMESTAR: Well, we want you to make another episode.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Sveet!

HOMESTAR: Did you just say sveet?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Yes.

HOMESTAR: Sveet.

{Cut to The Wheelchair in a studio. He passes a guy who throws a Sugarsmoke cake on the ground. The Wheelchair goes into a kitchen.}

THE WORM: Action!

HOMESTAR: {walking into the kitchen} So, The Wheelchair, what are you gonna make today?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Why don't we let that be a surprise.

{the camera zooms in on a bowl on a table}

THE WHEELCHAIR: First, I must say, vampires, do not make this. You will surely hate the flavor of not-blood and garlic. So first add a teaspoon of salt, {The Wheelchair pours a teapoon of salt into the bowl} and two cups of sugar. {The Wheelchair pours two cups of sugar into the bowl} Now add some garlic bread, {The Wheelchair puts a slice of bread into the mix} and two bananas. {The Wheelchair opens up two bananas and dumps the insides into the mix} Now stir with some machine.

{The camera and The Wheelchair move aside to a pan with the mix in it. He puts the pan into the oven.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Cook for around...er...twenty minutes. Then take it out of the oven.

{The Wheelchair takes another mix out of a different oven}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Enjoy.

HOMESTAR: {after picking up a piece of the bread and eating it} Wow! This is really really good! What's it called?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Uhhh...Sugarlic bread?

THE WORM: Cut! That was excellent! Now give me some Sugarlic bread!

{Cut to the words "The Next Day". Cut to The Wheelchair watching TV. The phone rings.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: STOP RINGING! I'm watching TV!

{the rings stop and the call goes to the answering machine}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {on answering machine} This is The Wheelchair. Please don't prank call me or make fun of my disability, or else I'll give you a disability. So leave me a message after the...

{the answering machine beeps}

HOMESTAR: {on answering machine} Er...The Wheelchair, you're fired. Because not only have you caused an entire species to go extinct - yes, vampires - but Pillsbury claimed to have made the same thing and trademarked it. So, soon there will be two angry mobs at your house. See ya in...Death Amusement Park.

{The doorbell rings, and The Wheelchair opens his front door. Outside, there are many people holding pitchforks.}

ANGRY CITIZEN: Get him!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Wait! You don't want to get me! I didn't even know what I was doing when I made Sugarlic bread! I just randomly inserted things into the mix! I even warned vampires not to eat it! But Pillsbury didn't! They even trademarked the recipe! You should be ganging up on Pillsbury! Not me!

{Everyone leaves except for one person}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Er...everyone went to Pillsbury. Why are you still here?

GUY: 'Cause I hate you.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Nice.

{cut to the Happy 354}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} I have arms, I eat food. I have invisible arms, but not invisible food. Understand? Grood.

{The Paper comes down}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {after ten seconds} Come on! Leave, so I can join the angry mob and "get" the Pillsbury Doughboy!

Easter Eggs

  • Click on Awstin when The Wheelchair is checking his email to see a picture of a tin can that says "Aw's"
  • After The Wheelchair says his very last line, click on "Understand?" to see a picture of The Wheelchair under Bubs Concession Stand.

Fun Facts

  • CAUTION: DO NOT MAKE THESE RECIPES! THEY CAN BE VERY HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH!
  • See you in Death Amusement Park is just like saying "See you in h***".
  • Grood is from Teen Girl Squad.
  • Pillsbury is a cooking company. Its mascot is the Pillsbury Doughboy.


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