Other Character Email The Wheelchair/escape

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The Wheelchair Email #31

Contents

Summary

George answers The Wheelchair's email while The Wheelchair tries to escape from Mr. E.

Cast (in order of appearance): George, The Wheelchair, King Snailbert, The Worm, snail students, snail teacher, Mr. E, Mr. Flower

Plot: George is Kidnapped & Capturing The Wheelchair

Computer: Happy 354

Lines: 103

Page Title: Happy with the 354

Release Date: November 21, 2007

Transcript

{George double-clicks on "Email"}

GEORGE: Today I'm checking The Wheelchair's email since he's in mortal peril right now!...and no one cares!

{an email pops up}

Dad

Dear George,
What is it like having King Snailbert for a dad?
From,
Badstar.

GEORGE: {typing} Wow, that's weird. Someone actually put a subject for me! I'll have to tell him that once Mr. E's plan fails. And...why is The Wheelchair's reflection showing when I'm checking the email? Hmm...he must've glued his image there. So, what's it like having King Snailbert as a father? Well...um...for one thing, instead of saying, "Go to your room or you're grounded", he says, "Go to your room or else I'll arrange your execution!" But for most of the time, he wears a crown and orders his servants around.

{Cut to The Wheelchair in his cage in Mr. E's cave}

THE WHEELCHAIR: What is taking this guy so long? It's been like an hour and he hasn't come back here yet with those sharks! It's like he's waiting for me to escape!

{Cut back to George at the Happy 354}

GEORGE: {typing} Pretty much the most disgusting thing he does is feed his servants and guards with his shedded skin. The good news is that he feeds me with gourmet meals every night, but still...that's pretty wrong.

KING SNAILBERT: {crawling onscreen} Well, really, do you expect me to spend more money on those servants than I already do? Ever since that law was passed about having to pay servants...

GEORGE: Uh...you passed that law.

KING SNAILBERT: Your point?

{doorbell rings}

GEORGE: I'll just be getting that...

{Cut to a view of The Wheelchair's front door from the inside. George goes past the door from the left and goes offscreen. The camera quickly pans to the right to show George pressing a handicap button with his invisible arm to make the front door open. Behind it is The Worm, carrying a baseball bat that is at least ten times larger than him.}

THE WORM: Do you know where The Wheelchair is?

GEORGE: Oh, he's up in a cave on Mount Cupcakes, where Mr. E is about to feed him to sharks.

THE WORM: Oh, okay. Thanks.

{Cut back to George at the Happy 354. King Snailbert is not onscreen.}

GEORGE: {typing} Anyways, because my dad's a king, I'm a prince! Of course, once my father dies, I'll be king, but unforunately, if I murder him I don't become king. The good news, though, is that as a prince, I get a crudload of powers that I can completely abuse to my hearts content. Like, I remember this one time...

{The scene fades into a flashback. George is in a classroom filled with other snails and an older snail who looks like a teacher.}

TEACHER: George, can you come here?

{George goes toward the teacher}

TEACHER: Explain to me why you're failing this class.

GEORGE: Failing? Ha! No! I'm prince of the snail world! Change my grade this instant or else I have the authority to arrest you!

TEACHER: We have to go through this every time, don't we?

GEORGE: Yes we do. I have the legal authority to arrest, execute, or force you to do stuff for me because my dad, King Snailbert, said so.

TEACHER: Yes, but you're no learning any-

GEORGE: {interrupting} CHANGE THE GRADE NOW, WOMAN!

{cut back to George at the Happy 354}

GEORGE: {typing} Good times...

{cut to The Wheelchair in his cage}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {singing} Nine-hundred ninety-eight thousand, eight-hundred sixty-two (998,862) bottles of Mountain Dew on the wall, nine-hundred ninety-eight thousand, eight-hundred sixty-two bottles of Dew. You take one down, pass it around, a really large number of bottles of Mountain Dew on the wall. A really large number of bottles of -

THE WORM: {offscreen} The Wheelchair!

{the camera zooms out to show The Worm outside of The Wheelchair's cage holding the same bat that he had earlier}

THE WHEELCHAIR: The Worm? What are you doing here?

THE WORM: I'm here to give you this bat to beat up Sherlock. {tosses bat through bars} All right, see ya.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Uh...wait, aren't you gonna help me get out of here?

THE WORM: No. {leaves}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Wait a second...I have an idea! There's no floor to this cage! That means...{lifts cage up with invisible arms} I'm free! {throws cage offscreen}

{Mr. E's silhouette comes onscreen, pulling a large pool with sharks in it onscreen with him.}

MR. E: Hey! You're getting away!

THE WHEELCHAIR: And you come back at the EXACT moment that I escape. Really, you need to work on being a little less cliché.

MR. E: What? I just came back as soon as I found my sharks.

THE WHEELCHAIR: And that just happened to coincide with my escape?

MR. E: Yes, it did.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Well then...I'll just be going now... {begins to roll offscreen}

MR. E: Oh not so fast! {The Wheelchair stops moving}

{a cage falls on Mr. E}

MR. E: Crud. I thought I put a cage over where you're standing... {pause} MR. FLOWER! GET IN HERE!

MR. FLOWER: {walking onscreen} What?

MR. E: What does it look like I want you to do, you idiot? Guide The Wheelchair out of the cave right now!

MR. FLOWER: But sir, don't you want to throw him to the sharks? Wouldn't it be more helpful to you if I just got that cage off of -

MR. E: {interrupting} JUST DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD!

MR. FLOWER: Uh...okay.

{cut to George at the Happy 354}

GEORGE: {typing} So...that's about it Stronghome. Or was it Strongstar? Oh, whatever. So that concludes this week's {types year's} email! I'm George, the snail, and I'm signing off!

THE WHEELCHAIR: {coming onscreen} George? What are you doing in my house? You haven't stolen anything, have you?

GEORGE: {whispering to himself} Crud, I forgot to do that.

THE WHEELCHAIR: You're checking my email?

GEORGE: Well, the email was addressed to me.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Wait, how would anyone know you were checking emails today? Wait a second...

GEORGE: The Wheelchair, no! You mustn't break the fourth wall!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh...right.

{cut to Mr. Flower throwing the cage off of Mr. E}

MR. E: Why did you guide The Wheelchair out of the cave when I specifically told you to do so?

MR. FLOWER: Well...you...um...uh...can...Can you repeat the question, please?

MR. E: Capture him and bring him back here! I want my sharks to eat some metal before I eat them!

MR. FLOWER: Um...right, sir.

{Cut to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354. He clicks on "Previous Emails".}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Now let's just see the email George answered. I'm sure he took the best one in the inbox, that ebil email stealer. {the email pops up}

Dad

Dear George,
What is it like having King Snailbert for a dad?
From,
Badstar.

THE WHEELCHAIR: {The Wheelchair does not read the email aloud} Great...they put a subject bar for George, but never for me! How come he gets the subject bar? And really...how did anyone know George was going to be checking my email? Wait...a minute... {turns around and looks (even though he doesn't have eyes) straight at the camera} this email show must be being broadcasted right now...{says slowly} those ebil little wiki users. I especially hate that one who looks like a germ.

GEORGE: {leaning in from the side of the screen} The Wheelchair...YOU BROKE DOWN THE FOURTH WALL!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh crud! Um...what is the fourth wall exactly? Um...it isn't anything like the third wall, is it? 'Cause I think that third wall to the right there wants to kill me. {the camera cuts to a picture of The Wheelchair's computer room's right wall, which has a poster of a computer with fangs and horns on it}

GEORGE: {offscreen} Um...why'd you even put that poster there, anyway? That poster looks really ebil.

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on the poster at the end to see this scene:

{The Wheelchair is in his computer room. Where there is usually a computer, there is nothing.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Well, I think this room looks pretty good. Just one more finishing touch. {takes out the poster of the evil computer and rolls offscreen to the right} {camera cuts to The Wheelchair looking up at the poster} There. That should scare me into working.

Fun Facts

  • Ebil is not an accidental spelling error for evil, it's deliberate (even though I'm sure no one would fix the page anyway).
  • The fourth wall is, in fictional works, a wall that separates real life from fiction. Breaking the fourth wall means the fictional character is acknowledging that it is not real.
  • Mountain Dew is mentioned.


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