Other Character Email The Wheelchair/crying

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The Wheelchair Email #27

Contents

Summary

The Wheelchair tries to get Sherlock to cry.

Cast (in order of appearance): The Wheelchair, Eh! Steve, Sherlock, Ready For Primetime, The Worm

Plot: None

Computer: Happy 354

Lines: 99

Page Title: Happy with the 354

Release Date: April 6, 2007

Transcript

{The Wheelchair rolls up to the Happy 354, which has spiderwebs on it}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Ooh. Guess it's been a while. {shakes computer and the cobwebs come off}

{The Wheelchair doubles clicks on "Email"}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {singing} Email is like an apple. Email is like an orange. Email is like the monster sleeping under my wheels.

VOICE: No, not really.

THE WHEELCHAIR: And for some reason that monster feels the need to talk.

VOICE: I'll shut up now.

{an email appears onscreen}

(Still none because no one puts in a subject)

Wheely,
Got some ?s for you.
1. How do you type with no arms?
2. I was wondering if you've ever made Sherlock cry.

That guy named Pter

{The Wheelchair reads "?s" as "weird shaped exclamation point" and "Pter" as "Puh-ter"}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} Okay...the way I type with no arms is very simple. I do have arms. Just, they're invisible. Now, this may not make sense, but my arms are like, um, glass. Yeah...glass! Except, you can still kind of see glass. So...think of my hands like Homestar's hands. He can still pick stuff up, even though his arms are invisible. So, same with me. My arms are there, just not visible.

{the camera zooms out to show Eh! Steve holding a large knife}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Uh...Eh! Steve...what are you doing here?

EH! STEVE: I weent to cut yeer own eerm off!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Why?

EH! STEVE: To see eef you heeve eerms, silly.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Well, I do. Now scram!

{Eh! Steve leaves}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh those Steves these days. How dumb can they be? {clears screen} {typing} So now to answer the next question: have I ever made Sherlock cry? Well, there are four different kinds of crying after all: crying for joy, crying for sadness, crying because you're angry, and crying because of pain. Now I've achieved three out of the four.

{Cut to The Wheelchair and Sherlock in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes land near The Worm's hole.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hey, Sherlock. How's it going?

SHERLOCK: Herboshebalocomo.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh, fine. Hola, Sherlock. Cómo estás?

SHERLOCK: Muy picante, gracias.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Did you just say "Very spicy"?

SHERLOCK: Herboshebalocomo.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hmm...maybe I need to catch up on my Spanish. So...let me try something different. Sherlock, herboshebalocomo.

SHERLOCK: Herboshebalocomo? Me disgusta tú!

THE WHEELCHAIR: I disgust you? I didn't even say something different from what you say! You're always going herboshebalocomo.

{Sherlock begins to cry with anger and hits The Wheelchair with its foot.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hey! What'd I say?

SHERLOCK: Herboshebalocomo.

{Cut back to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} As you can see, Sherlock can get pretty angry. I don't really know what I said back there, but it must have been pretty bad for him to have hit me. Speaking of which, Sherlock's got evil {types "ebil"} little claws that are like extremely sharp. They could pop a balloon! But...um...those claws made me have to get stitches in the hospital. I'm not kidding. April Fools! Erm...yeah, I know it's not April Fools Day. But it still is April, fool.

{Cut to Sherlock and The Wheelchair in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes land, near The Worm's hole.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: So then I say they need all the firepower they can get and they took it as their slogan. The PFP is such a joke.

SHERLOCK: Herboshebalocomo.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Why is that the only word you know?

SHERLOCK: Herboshebalocomo?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Yeah, shut up. {pauses} So...I heard the news.

SHERLOCK: Herboshebalocomo?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Yeah, I heard that your mom died.

SHERLOCK: {starts to cry} Herboshebalocomo!

THE WHEELCHAIR: I know it's sad, but cheer up. I have good news.

SHERLOCK: Herboshebalocomo?

THE WHEELCHAIR: April Fools, foo.

{Sherlock lifts a leg in the air and it makes a gun reloading sound}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Ooh...nuts.

{Cut back to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} Some April Fools jokes go a little bit far. Luckily, he didn't shoot me. He accidentally missed me and hit King Snailbert. To put a long story short, King Snailbert was predicted to never go faster than 0.01 miles per hour ever again.

{Cut to The Wheelchair and Ready For Primetime in a hot air balloon}

THE WHEELCHAIR: The view is real nice from up here.

READY FOR PRIMETIME: Yes, but I'm getting airsick. How do you land this thing?

THE WHEELCHAIR: I don't know.

READY FOR PRIMETIME: Well, how did you get this in the air?

THE WHEELCHAIR: I don't know.

READY FOR PRIMETIME: How do you not remember? Do you have short-term memory or something?

THE WHEELCHAIR: I don't know.

READY FOR PRIMETIME: Ugg...you just pull on the rope, get it? And if you say I don't know I will push you out of this balloon.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Why?

READY FOR PRIMETIME: Ugg...haven't you ever been annoyed before?

THE WHEELCHAIR: I don't know.

{Ready For Primetime pushes The Wheelchair out of the hot air balloon. The Wheelchair falls and falls and then lands on Sherlock. The Wheelchair rolls off of a squished Sherlock.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Ooh. Sorry about that.

{Sherlock puffs up again and begins to cry}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Well, stinks for you.

{Cut back to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} My tires got pretty flat from that fall, but it was worth to squish Sherlock. Oh sweet revenge. After him hitting me, I wanted some revenge. But...there still one way to make him cry I still haven't done yet. A cry for joy. And I know exactly how to make that cowcopter happy.

{Cut to The Wheelchair in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes land near The Worm's hole. The Worm pops out of it.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: The Worm, can you do me a favor?

THE WORM: What?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Can you let Sherlock eat you?

THE WORM: No!

THE WHEELCHAIR: {grabs The Worm and begins to tug on it} But I need to make Sherlock cry of joy!

THE WORM: That's all? Oh, just give him a lollipop. He's a very emotional cowcopter, you know.

{cut to The Wheelchair giving Sherlock a lollipop}

SHERLOCK: {crying with joy} Gracias! Me gusta!

THE WHEELCHAIR: You are emotional.

{Cut back to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} So, I did it. I made Sherlock cry for four different reasons. Yay for me! So, until next time, say bye to the monster under my wheels.

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "monster under my wheels" at the end to see a sketch of The Wheelchair with two eyes under his wheels hidden by the darkness.

Fun Facts


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