Other Character Email The Wheelchair/wolverines, bears, and coyotes
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
The Wheelchair Email #26
Contents |
Summary
The Wheelchair gets an email asking if he's ever rolled down the stairs, then went down a huge and steep driveway, gone through the woods with two bears chasing him, seven coyotes, and one wolverine, and then said to them, it's okay guys, don't kill me, I'm just a wheelchair.
Cast(in order of appearance): The Wheelchair, King Snailbert, Mr. E, Mr. Flower, George, Eh! Steve, bears, coyotes, Wolverine, a wolverine, a creepy mattress
Plot: George is Kidnapped & Capturing The Wheelchair
Computer: Happy 354
Lines: 128
Page Title: Happy with the 354
Release Date: November 5, 2006
Transcript
{The Wheelchair double-clicks on "Email"}
THE WHEELCHAIR: {singing} Flowers are for people that never take showers! Flowers make people smell better! Um...how can I include a word in this song called wetter? {not singing} Man I need better lyrics. And...is my computer getting slower, because that email is not popping...
{an email pops up}
THE WHEELCHAIR: ...up.
(none...again)Dear Wheelchair wheeler wheely that wheels that i want one of,
Please tell me if you have ever rolled down the stairs, then went down a huge and steep driveway, broken your neck(if you have one), gone through the woods with 2 bears chasing you, 7 coyotes, and one wolverine, and then said to them, it's okay guys, don't kill me, I'm a wheelchair!?
Fastly written,
The other wheelchair.....A.K.A.......
Awstin
THE WHEELCHAIR: Wow...that was a long email. Uh...so...bears, coyotes, and a wolverine? Right... {typing} Now Awstin, whoever you are, that never happened and it never will. So...this has got to have been the longest "fastly written" email ever. And this email is now ending...
{The Paper comes down with the words "In violation of Fanstuff Guidelines Rule 2.2.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: What are the Fanstuff Guidelines?
{The Paper goes back up}
THE WHEELCHAIR: Okay...
{the phone rings}
THE WHEELCHAIR: {with no emotion} I wonder who that could be. I'm going to answer the phone.
{cut to The Wheelchair on the phone}
THE WHEELCHAIR: Hello?
{the screen splits diagonally, and King Snailbert is talking on the phone on the other side}
KING SNAILBERT: Hello The Wheelchair. Do you know where George is? He's been missing for over three months!
THE WHEELCHAIR: Yeah...about that...
KING SNAILBERT: So...where is he?
THE WHEELCHAIR: I'd say he's probably being used as a hostage right now. Or he's dead. Either one, really.
KING SNAILBERT: WHAT!?!
THE WHEELCHAIR: Mr. E and Mr. Flower captured him, remember?
KING SNAILBERT: No...I don't recall...
THE WHEELCHAIR: I'm gonna assume he's dead.
KING SNAILBERT: Why would you think that? He can't be dead!
THE WHEELCHAIR: I know, but his will says half of his stuff goes to The Wheelchair and the other half goes to his dad.
KING SNAILBERT: Yeah...he's dead.
{Cut to a dark room. Two silhouettes are onscreen. One is carrying a small cage with another silhoette in it.}
MR. E: It's been three months since we captured this pitiful fool! No one's done a thing about it!
MR. FLOWER: Wait, my master. If we let him "go" we won't have a hostage.
MR. E: But no one seems to care about him!
GEORGE: Excuse me...uh...no one cares about me until right before the moment when I die. That's what the prophecy states.
MR. E: What the heck are you talking about?
GEORGE: The prophecy.
MR. E: What prophecy?
GEORGE: Um...the one where...it states that if you try to...lower me into lava then...uh...you'll fall in and I'll stay alive.
MR. E: Did the prophecy say anything about sharks in a pool of water?
GEORGE: Um...yes?
MR. E: What about feeding you to my pet T-Rex?
GEORGE: There's no such thing as T-Rex's now!
MR. E: Ha! Then we shall get rid of you my feeding you to a T-Rex!
GEORGE: Or you could possibly not get rid of me and just send out a message that I'm kidnapped.
MR. FLOWER: He's got a point, you know.
MR. E: Then it's settled! I will send out two bears, seven coyotes, and Wolverine to tell The Wheelchair that George is alive and is kidnapped!
{Cut to The Wheelchair and King Snailbert in a room with a TV, a desk, and a couch.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: So this is George's house? You know, I've never been here.
KING SNAILBERT: So...how about we take turns picking one item. I'll go first, since...
THE WHEELCHAIR: No, no, no! We will do this the fair way!
KING SNAILBERT: George's will says I get to go first. And I choose that big screen TV!
THE WHEELCHAIR: Okay...well then I choose...that bigger screen TV! {the camera moves to the right to show a gigantic TV}
KING SNAILBERT: Hey! That wasn't on the screen!
THE WHEELCHAIR: So...
KING SNAILBERT: Fine! But I get his Wii!
{Cut to King Snailbert at the top of a stairway. The Wheelchair is at the bottom of the stairway.}
KING SNAILBERT: Come on up!
THE WHEELCHAIR: Uh...tires...stairs...not a good match.
KING SNAILBERT: Come on! Or do you want me choose what you get from the upstairs?
THE WHEELCHAIR: No way! It's just...I got this strange email asking me if I've ever rolled down the stairs and went down a huge and steep dirveway.
KING SNAILBERT: George has a huge and steep driveway.
THE WHEELCHAIR: I know. I'm gonna forget about the email. I'm coming up!
{The Wheelchair rolls into a stair, turns diagonally and climbs up the stairs. Cut to a room with a small TV, a bed, and a desk.}
KING SNAILBERT: I want the TV.
THE WHEELCHAIR: Hmm...I want his room.
{Cut to King Snailbert at the bottom of the stairs and The Wheelchair at the top.}
KING SNAILBERT: You have to come down at some time!
THE WHEELCHAIR: No I don't!
KING SNAILBERT: Yeah, you do.
{Eh! Steve walks onscreen}
EH! STEVE: Eh! Steve!
THE WHEELCHAIR: This is a trap, isn't it?
EH! STEVE: Eh! Steve!
THE WHEELCHAIR: Erg...I WANTED SOMETHING BETTER FOR MY BIRTHDAY!
{The Wheelchair launches down the stairs at a rapid speed and knocks Eh! Steve offscreen. Cut to The Wheelchair rolling down a steep driveway.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: Darn it! I'm gonna be chased by two bears, seven coyotes and a wolverine! And...is that a ramp?
{The Wheelchair launches off a ramp into the woods. Cut to The Wheelchair landing on his "head" in the woods. He turns over.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: Ugg...I think I broke my neck...good thing I don't have one!
{A bear's head pokes out from behind a tree. Another bear pokes its head out behind another tree.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: There are two bears behind me, right? Just my luck.
{The Wheelchair rolls quickly away from the bears. Soon, seven coyotes start to chase after him. The Wheelchair comes to a cliff and stops.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: How come when I'm being chased, I always come to a cliff?
{Wolverine, the superhero, walks up to The Wheelchair.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: Now this email is just plain stupid.
{Wolverine poofs into a wolverine}
THE WHEELCHAIR: That's better.
A BEAR: My animal friends! We will do what we were told to do!
THE WHEELCHAIR: Talking animals? This is getting, like, really, really, really, really, very unrealistic.
A BEAR: Don't listen to what he says! We must do what we were meant to do!
THE WHEELCHAIR: {backing away} It's okay guys, don't kill me. I'm a wheelchair. And, like, destroying wheelchairs is like beating up a kid with glasses. So, don't... {falls off the cliff} Ahhhhhh!!!
A COYOTE: Maybe we should have just told him.
{Cut to The Wheelchair landing on a mattress. The Wheelchair gets off of it.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: I'm alive? Thank you, life-saving mattress!
MATTRESS: No, thank you The Wheelchair.
THE WHEELCHAIR: Uh...thanks for thanking me...creepy thing...thingy...thing.
{The seven coyotes, the two bears, and the wolverine land on the mattress. They get off of it.}
MATTRESS: Thank you for landing on me.
A BEAR: Uh...thanks for thanking me...creepy thingy...thing.
A COYOTE: Look, Mr. Wheelchair person, we were sent to tell you George is being held hostage by Mr. E and Mr. Flower.
THE WHEELCHAIR: That's it? You're not going to eat me?
A BEAR: Nope! Well, actually, do you have any berries?
THE WHEELCHAIR: Uh...no.
BOTH BEARS: Let's eat him!
THE WHEELCHAIR: I seriously wish I had my rocket boosters.
MATTRESS: I'll save you, The Wheelchair.
{The Wheelchair rolls onto the creepy mattress. The mattress flings The Wheelchair offscreen. Cut to The Wheelchair landing outside George's house. King Snailbert comes out.}
KING SNAILBERT: Hello, The Wheelchair.
THE WHEELCHAIR: You know, it's possible George is alive, right?
KING SNAILBERT: No, no. I don't think he is. Unless...Do you know something that I don't?
THE WHEELCHAIR: Um... {zips offscreen}
{Eh! Steve walks onscreen}
KING SNAILBERT: Nice job getting The Wheelchair to go off that ramp, Eh! Steve. Those pictures will look great for my photography class...that I have to take...or else.
{Cut to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} So yes, Awstin, I have done what you asked if I've ever done. Er...I worded that wrong. What I meant was...um...yeah...I can't word that correctly. So um...tune in for another exciting episode of The Wheelchair Emails!
{The Paper comes down}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "tune in for another exciting episode" to see this:
NARRATOR: Next time on The Wheelchair Emails...
{Cut to The Wheelchair in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land}
THE WHEELCHAIR: So...what do I do now?
NARRATOR: The Wheelchair has no clue what to do!
Fun Facts
- Fanstuff Guidelines rule 2.2 says that a email has to be at least twenty lines long.
- George got kidnapped in saving the moon.
- The Wheelchair wanting a better birthday present from Eh! Steve is from eh! steve.
- Wii is a console made by Nintendo.
- Wolverine is a superhero made by Marvel Comics.
| The Wheelchair Email |
|---|
| DVD: Character Explanations | spasms | cheese and yogurt | eh? |
eh! steve | accident | superhero | snails | crane | rockholz's cave | worm catching | grapermelon | dimensions | stevenapped | wheelchair's purpose | homsar | death seed plague | broken tv | inspection | password | other forms | court case | journey | whatever | badly drawn | mr. e | saving the moon | cooking show | special olympics | storytime | wolverines, bears, and coyotes | no emails | crying | eh! capturing | sick | year and a half | escape | tech ed | sports | rich | tires | albino cheat | gravy boat | zorax | a rope |
| Plastic Pencil and the Weird Beard | Sherlock Hunting |
