Other Character Email The Wheelchair/badly drawn

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The Wheelchair Email #20

Contents

Summary

The Wheelchair wants to find out why he is badly drawn, but Professor J and Professor G want him to break the curse on Teen Girl Squad. Meanwhile, Rockholz is planning to launch a missile into the moon.

Cast (in order of appearance): Zorkolch, The Wheelchair, George, Professor J, Professor G, The Worm, a ghost

Plot: Trapped in Whatever

Computer: Happy 354

Lines: 110

Page Title: Happy with the 354

Release Date: June 17, 2006

Transcript

{The Wheelchair is in a cave in which the exit is blocked off by rocks, along with Zorkolch who is stuck under some rocks}

ZORKOLCH: Can you get me out of here?

THE WHEELCHAIR: No way!

ZORKOLCH: I can't turn into Rockholz right now, even though I'm trying.

THE WHEELCHAIR: So I can just leave you there to starve?

ZOROLCH: Yeah, whatever but...Don't you need to check your email?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Yeah, I have to, but I'll just leave this cave when I go to Teen Girl Squad land. Hey, do you know when sunset is?

ZORKOLCH: Yeah, it's in fifteen minutes.

THE WHEELCHAIR: If I free you, will you get me out of here?

ZORKOLCH: Sure.

{The Wheelchair leans against the rocks blocking the exit. They fall into the cave and they keep coming for many seconds. While they are falling, The Wheelchair and Zorkolch talk.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: How many rocks are there?

ZORKOLCH: Is my rock monster form really that big?

{The avalanche of rocks stops, and The Wheelchair leaves. Cut to the Happy 354. The Wheelchair double-clicks on "Email".}

THE WHEELCHAIR: I've got a riddle for you: What's all over the web, but never touches a spider? Email!

{an email pops up}

(none)

Dear Mr. Wheelchair Dude,
Why are you badly drawn?
Someone.

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} What a very simple question, Someone. Or is it just Some? Anyway dude, I can remember the answer perfectly. Err...wait...no I can't. It's like my mind's been blanked.

{cut to Zorkolch stuck under some rocks in a cave}

ZORKOLCH: The Wheelchair goes to Teen Girl Squad at night? That means...I can launch my missile at the moon tonight!

GEORGE: {coming onscreen} Hold on there! How can you do that if you're still stuck!

ZORKOLCH: No one knows, but plot holes can always be explained in the future.

GEORGE: Okay, but how would destroying the moon help you?

ZORKOLCH: Well...the pieces of the moon might hit the Earth like meteors and cause a gigantic impact. It might cause the world to be destroyed!

GEORGE: But wouldn't that kill you too?

ZORKOLCH: Us rock monsters have special powers like seeing in the dark. One of these powers is being able to survive without oxygen or carbon dioxide or whatever.

GEORGE: Can I ask you a quick question?

ZORKOLCH: What?

GEORGE: If you were cut in half, would you live?

ZORKOLCH: Well yes, but we would be smaller. The only real way to get rid of rock monsters is to either turn them back into sand or feed them flavored water. Yuck. That stuff is nasty.

{cut to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Any minute now, and I'll disappear into Teen Girl Squad land.

{The Wheelchair disappears to Teen Girl Squad. Professor J runs on screen.}

PROFESSOR J: They're gonna arrow me! Wheelchair! You have to break the curse!

THE WHEELCHAIR: What curse?

PROFESSOR J: The one that makes this land evil!

THE WHEELCHAIR: But I want to know why I'm badly drawn.

PROFESSOR J: I heard rumors of another non-evil person living here. Talk to him! I heard he lives near the river!

{Professor J gets ARROW'D!}

PROFESSOR J: You must break the curse.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Won't you just come back to life?

PROFESSOR J: You have to appear in an issue to do so. Whether you die in the issue or not, it doesn't matter. Although if there's not an issue going, you can't come back to life unless you appear in another issue.

{Cut to The Wheelchair in a boat shop. A badly drawn man is also in there.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Are you non-evil?

MAN: Who told you? Are you here to take me down?

THE WHEELCHAIR: No, I want to discover my past.

MAN: Well I'm Professor G. And you are?

THE WHEELCHAIR: The Wheelchair.

{Professor G faints. Cut to George and The Worm in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes}

THE WORM: He's gonna what!?!

GEORGE: I know it sounds bad. That's why we have to stop him.

THE WORM: I'll go round up everyone else.

GEORGE: We need nine people.

THE WORM: How are we gonna find that many people?

GEORGE: Look, I'll go try to get King Snailbert to help us.

THE WORM: And I'll get everyone else.

{cut to The Wheelchair and Professor G}

PROFESSOR G: You're in the prophecy!

THE WHEELCHAIR: What prophecy?

PROFESSOR G: When a wheelchair named The Wheelchair is trying to find the secrets to his past, he will either break the curse of Teen Girl Squad, or help save the moon from being destroyed.

THE WHEELCHAIR: That prophecy didn't sound ancient at all.

PROFESSOR G: What, you think every prophecy is as old as the Romans?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Well I'm saving the moon.

PROFESSOR G: Wait! If you break the curse, I'll tell you what you want to know! So what do you want to know?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Why am I badly drawn?

PROFESSOR G: Okay, I'll figure that out for you. For now, head to Ancient Girl Squad Pyramid.

{Cut to The Wheelchair inside a pyramid. He rolls toward light in the center of the pyramid. A ghost appears in front of him.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Can you move?

GHOST: No!

THE WHEELCHAIR: I'll give you a shiny dime!

GHOST: Okay, deal.

{The Wheelchair gives the ghost a dime and the ghost moves. The Wheelchair rolls to the center of the room. A book is sitting at a podium.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {opening book} Eww! It's got spider webs on it! {looks at text on a page and reads it} Break evil curse on Teen Girl Squad: Curse be gone! I'll give you a cookie. What?

{a blue sphere of light shoots out from the book growing larger and larger}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Did that nonsense spell break the curse?

{cut to The Wheelchair and Professor G}

PROFESSOR G: Good job. You broke the curse.

THE WHEELCHAIR: So now tell me why I'm badly drawn.

PROFESSOR G: Well, you were drawn by Strong Bad's dad in an enchanted comic title named Teen Girl Squad. Strong Bad's dad showed it to Strong Bad, and in an attempt to answer an email, he created a comic series.

THE WHEELCHAIR: But how did I get to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes?

PROFESSOR G: A few years into the past Teen Girl Squad had a war with Sweet Cuppin' Cakes. You found a portal of dimensions and went to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Why do you exist?

PROFESSOR G: I am another character created by Strong Bad's dad.

THE WHEELCHAIR: And why can't I remember anything?

PROFESSOR G: This is just a theory, but maybe your mind was undeveloped when you went through the early model of the portal. That may have been why your mind was blanked. I'm pretty sure during the war Eh! Steve went through a portal, but he went back to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes.

THE WHEELCHAIR: So I belong here?

{cut to The Worm and George in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes}

GEORGE: Mr. Flower is gone!

THE WORM: Well I rounded up everyone, but we have a huge problem on our hands: Rockholz added super chargers to his missile so it will launch in two hours!

GEORGE: Isn't today midsummer's night?

THE WORM: Yeah. He's dumb.

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on George at the end to see Zorkolch escape from under the rock he's under:

{Zorkolch is stuck under a rock in a cave}

ZORKOLCH: I'll never get out of here. I guess I'll give up. Stupid rock. Move!

{the rock rolls off of Zorkolch}

Fun Facts

  • Midsummer's night is the shortest night of the year.
  • This email was released very close to midsummer's night.


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