Other Character Email The Wheelchair/journey

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The Wheelchair Email #18

Contents

Summary

The Wheelchair and George climb up Mount Cupcakes to find out what guy crunchy ribbons are. They meet some very unfriendly man-eating monsters along the way.

Cast (in order of apperance): The Wheelchair, George, monsters, The Worm

Plot: None

Computer: Happy 354

Lines: 146

Page Title: Happy with the 354

Release Date: May 30, 2006

Transcript

{The Wheelchair double-clicks on "Email"}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {singing} I eat pancakes for breakfast! Eggs, cereal! But not emails!

{an email pops up}

(none)

krlgmlkfmddk
ancbbbl
gmagflkamjlgd5
828282826714211Q
Brello, Ime Guy Crunchy ribbons.
Please leave a call number on my head.
Thank you,
Me

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} What's guy crunchy ribbons? Is that like some cereal? You know what, I'm gonna Google it.

{The Wheelchair types "google.com" and it comes up to Google's menu. The Wheelchair types "guy crunchy ribbons" and the screen comes up with "Ribbon Sale!" and "Crunchy Edibles".}

THE WHEELCHAIR: So it looks like there's nothing useful, so I'll just have to ask George.

GEORGE: {offscreen} I have no clue what guy crunchy ribbons is.

{the camera zooms out to reveal George}

THE WHEELCHAIR: WHAT!?! You always know!

GEORGE: Not this time, but I think I know someone who I think can tell you what you want.

THE WHEELCHAIR: And where is this person?

GEORGE: He lives in a building up on Mount Cupcakes.

THE WHEELCHAIR: You mean the most dangerous hike in the world?

GEORGE: You got it.

THE WHEELCHAIR: You're coming with me, right?

GEORGE: Well...

{cut to The Wheelchair and George going up a path}

GEORGE: I really don't want to do this.

THE WHEELCHAIR: But the evil creatures who live on this mountain would rip me apart if you weren't here.

GEORGE: Why is that?

THE WHEELCHAIR: 'Cause they'd rip you apart while I got away.

GEORGE: I doubt there even are monsters on this mountain.

{The Wheelchair and George come to a fork in the path, and between the two roads is a decaying wheelchair}

THE WHEELCHAIR: If there aren't any monsters, explain that.

GEORGE: Probably he fell from the cliff up there.

{The camera moves up to reveal the top of a cliff. A monster is standing at the edge of it.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {offscreen} Okay, but what's that monster doing up there?

{The monster jumps off the cliff, and the camera follows him on his way down. The monster lands on the ground and falls down next to George and The Wheelchair.}

MONSTER: Ow! My leg! I think I broke it!

{the camera goes back up to the top of the cliff where another monster is standing at the edge}

MOTHER MONSTER: Jalazan! We told you many times not to jump off a cliff, and what do you do? You jump off a cliff! Your father is going to get very mad when he sees you with your broken leg!

{the camera goes back down to The Wheelchair, George and Jalazan}

GEORGE: Do you happen to know which path is safe to take?

JALAZAN: What would be in it for me?

GEORGE: What do you want?

JALAZAN: A parachute.

GEORGE: I'm pretty sure I saw one by the skeleton on the broken swingset.

JALAZAN: Thanks. Take the right path. The left leads to a cave with bears in it.

{Cut to The Wheelchair and George going down the path. They encounter a river which leads to a waterfall. In order to get across, someone would have to jump on the rocks and not fall in the water.}

GEORGE: You go first.

THE WHEELCHAIR: No, that's okay. You can go first.

GEORGE: Fine. {moving toward the river} Super mega very very high mega leap!

{George leaps across the whole river}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Where'd you learn to do that?

GEORGE: With practice and effort, you can achieve anything.

THE WHEELCHAIR: No, I meant where did you really learn that?

GEORGE: I put stuff on my shell.

{The Wheelchair hops onto the first, second, and third rocks, but when attempting to jump onto the fourth, he falls into the river. The Wheelchair is quickly rushed down the river.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: HELP!!

GEORGE: Super mega very very gripping mega hook!

{A grapling hook shoots out of George's shell and grabs onto The Wheelchair. George pulls him out of the water.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Thanks for saving me.

{The Wheelchair and George go down the path until they come to a dead end. They can either go in the woods or turn back.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: The woods can't be that dangerous, can they?

GEORGE: If we see someone trying to kill us, we turn back.

THE WHEELCHAIR: No! This is worth dying for!

GEORGE: Really?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Not really, but if we find this guy, we can find out what guy crunchy ribbons are.

{The Wheelchair and George enter the woods. They see a monster, and the monster runs toward them.}

GEORGE: RUN!!

{The Wheelchair and George split up and run from the monster. The monster rips down a tree, and it begins to fall where George is at.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: George! Watch out! There's a giant tree that's gonna fall on you!

GEORGE: A giant key? Does that unlock a door?

{The Wheelchair rushes to George, picks him up, and brings him to safety. The monster runs toward George and The Wheelchair. The Wheelchair and George run.}

GEORGE: We should turn back!

THE WHEELCHAIR: No! We must find out what these tasty ribbons are!

GEORGE: It's guy crunchy!

{George and The Wheelchair come to a cliff}

THE WHEELCHAIR: We're trapped!

GEORGE: Looks like we're gonna hafta jump!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Wait! What if this monster's nice?

{the monster comes onscreen}

MONSTER: CAN'T YOU JUST DIE! I WANT DINNER!

GEORGE: Oh yeah, he's very nice.

{the monster jumps toward George and The Wheelchair, and he falls off the cliff}

THE WHEELCHAIR: That was lucky.

{three monsters come toward The Wheelchair and George}

GEORGE: Don't you guys ever take a break?

{The Wheelchair picks up George}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {throwing George to the monsters} Take him!

{The Wheelchair rushes away from the monsters. He exits the woods and sees that he is at the bottom of a cliff. Four more monsters come out of the woods and begin to move toward The Wheelchair.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Can you not eat me?

MONSTER: No!

{The monster rips a tree out of the ground and it begins to fall where The Wheelchair is, but the tree hits the top of the cliff and stops falling. The Wheelchair jumps onto the tree and begins to roll to the top. The monster grabs the tree and shakes it, but The Wheelchair stays on it.}

MONSTER: Fall off already!

{The monster lifts the tree up and The Wheelchair jumps toward the top of the cliff. He makes it, but most of him is off the cliff, so he falls. Everything goes black. Cut to the monsters cooking The Wheelchair, who is in a pot of boiling water.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Let me free!

MONSTERS: Dinner does not speak to their predators.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Where's the snail?

MONSTER: Snail is dessert.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Look, I'll give you my spare tire if you let me free.

MONSTER: Tires taste bad.

{The Wheelchair farts}

MONSTERS: Eww! Disgusting!

{The Wheelchair climbs out of the pot and flees. He sees George in a cage.}

GEORGE: Get me out of here!

{The Wheelchair finds a lockpick next to a skeleton. Then he sees a locked treasure chest and begins to pick the lock.}

GEORGE: The lockpick's gonna break! Don't use it on the tresure chest!

{The lockpick breaks and the treasure chest comes open. Inside are twenty lockpicks and rat meat.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Darn it! Only rat meat!

{The Wheelchair takes a lockpick and picks George's cage open. George comes out, and The Wheelchair and George flee. They come out of the cave, and next to the entrance is an elevator.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Quick! Into the elevator!

{The Wheelchair and George enter the elevator and it goes up. While they are in the elevator, death metal music plays.}

SINGER: You're gonna die!! The monsters in the mirror! They stick you in a pot and try to eat you! The monsters in the mirror!

{The elevator doors open up and The Wheelchair and George walk out of it into a building. They look out the window and see all of Sweet Cuppin' Cakes. Next to the window is a desk, and on the desk is a crystal ball. Behind the desk is a spinning chair which is facing the window, so you can't see who is sitting in it, if there is anyone in it at all.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hello? Are you the person who can tell us what guy crunchy ribbons are?

{The chair does a half-spin, and The Worm is sitting in the chair.}

THE WORM: Yes I am.

THE WHEELCHAIR AND GEORGE: The Worm!

THE WHEELCHAIR: But then why did I have to risk my life coming up here?

THE WORM: So I could be entertained. See, I have cameras everywhere around this mountain. They all come back here and I watch.

THE WHEELCHAIR: You little maggot! I'm gonna...Hey, you don't talk funny any more.

THE WORM: I took speech classes every day for two weeks.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Then do you know what guy crunchy ribbons is?

THE WORM: I don't know. They're probably something some guy made up just to have an excuse to email you a virus.

THE WHEELCHAIR: {zooming in on him} A VIRUS!!

{The Wheelchair jumps out a window. Cut to the Happy 354. The Wheelchair falls onscreen. The Wheelchair double-clicks on "Virus Scan" and a message comes up saying "Scanning".}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Come on, come on!

{A message replaces the old one saying "Scan Complete! 423, 827 Viruses Found. A New Record!". Under that, a button says "Try to delete".}

THE WHEELCHAIR: This is bad. {clicking on "try to delete"} Please delete!

{A message comes up saying "All Viruses Successfully Deleted. Yippee! Now go away before they get undeleted. The Wheelchair closes the message and clicks on "Email" in the taskbar}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} I hate The Worm. The mean guy made us climb up a mountain for his entertainment. And...wait. How is George gonna get down from the mountain?

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "George" to see how George got down the mountain:

{George and The Worm are on the floor on the building on top of Mount Cupcakes}

GEORGE: How exactly do you get down from here?

THE WORM: Holes. Come with me. I'll show ya.

Fun Facts

  • Google is a well-known search engine.
  • "Looks like we're gonna hafta jump" is from Dangeresque.
  • Finding a lockpick in a skeleton, lockpicking a chest and finding lockpicks in them, and rat meat are from Oblivion.
  • The same virus message comes up in virus.


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