Other Character Email The Wheelchair/mr. e

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The Wheelchair Email #21

Contents

Summary

A silhouette tries to be evil, and preparations for George's and The Worm's plan are being made.

Cast (in order of appearance): Mr. E, The Worm, George, King Snailbert, The Wheelchair, Bad Steve, Mr. Flower

Plot: Trapped in Whatever

Computer: Happy 354

Lines: 152

Page Title: The Plot Thickens

Realease Date: July 1, 2006

Transcript

{a silhouette is onscreen in front of a dark background}

SILHOUETTE: I am Mr. E. I command evil creatures in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes to do evil stuff. Rockholz has failed me twice, and will probably fail again. I want The Wheelchair obliterated. That's why I'm hiring a new assistant while I play with my action figure.

DEEP VOICE: Really?

MR. E: Who said that?

DEEP VOICE: Your new assistant.

MR. E: Hey! You have to try out!

{cut to George and The Worm in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes}

THE WORM: Counting me and you, we have six people. And why exactly do we nine, anyway?

GEORGE: Well...I was in Rockholz's cave...

{Cut to a flashback. George is moving through Rockholz's cave. He goes under a security beam and sees a missile surrounded by machinery. At many different stations there is a button. Cut back to George and The Worm in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes.}

GEORGE: So I assumed that at the nine different stations, nine different people have to hit the button at the same exact time.

THE WORM: So...we still need three more people. I'll try to bring Bad Steve back from the dead. You get King Snailbert and Mr. Flower.

GEORGE: But Mr. Flower disappeared!

{cut to King Snailbert at his throne}

KING SNAILBERT: Where's Mr. Flower? Nothing's going right!

{George bursts into the room}

KING SNAILBERT: Hey! You have to be guided!

GEORGE: No, wait, I can explain!

KING SNAILBERT: You can explain.

GEORGE: The world's gonna be destroyed and we need nine people!

KING SNAILBERT: I don't really care.

GEORGE: But d...

{a portal of dimensions opens up right next to King Snailbert's throne}

GEORGE: No, don't enter the portal!

KING SNAILBERT: Why would I want to?

{the portal begins to suck King Snailbert toward the side of his throne}

GEORGE: Get off your throne! The portal's sucking you in!

KING SNAILBERT: I haven't left this throne since 322 seconds ago!

GEORGE: Why?

KING SNAILBERT: What, you think that we have a bathroom inside the throne?

{the portal begins to pull King Snailbert into the air}

GEORGE: Take this walkie-talkie {throws a walkie-talkie at King Snailbert} and find The Wheelchair!

{King Snailbert gets sucked into the portal and it disappears}

GEORGE: Wow. What were the chances of the portal disappearing as soon as he got sucked in?

{Cut to The Wheelchair rolling down a street in Teen Girl Squad land. He bumps into a silhouette.}

MR. E: Hello, The Wheelchair. I am Mr. E.

THE WHEELCHAIR: What do you want with me?

MR. E: I want to destroy ye.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Tee hee hee.

MR. E: What's so funny?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Everything rhymes like mimes.

MR. E: When you actually try to rhyme, nothing makes sense.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Who are you?

{Mr. E throws a smoke bomb at the ground and smoke surrounds him. The smoke clears, and Mr. E is gone. King Snailbert comes onscreen and gives The Wheelchair a walkie-talkie.}

KING SNAILBERT: Take this.

THE WHEELCHAIR: {to walkie-talkie} Hello!

GEORGE: {coming from the walkie-talkie} The Wheelchair!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Can you check my email?

GEORGE: Give me a minute. I'm in a little bit of a jam here...

{Cut to George holding a walkie-talkie. In the background, Bad Steve is on the ground, still dead, and The Worm is standing up straight, shooting out electricity from his body. Bad Steve attracts the electricity. Cut back to The Wheelchair}

THE WHEELCHAIR: What kind of jam is it?

GEORGE: No, I meant pickle.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Does the pickle taste good?

GEORGE: No, I meant...dilemma.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Okay, just check my email.

GEORGE: Okay. Let me just bring it up...

THE WHEELCHAIR: Email is like ice cream. It's so cold, but so good.

GEORGE: What?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Just read it!

GEORGE: Okay, it says: Dear Teh Wheelchair, Are you left handed or right handed? A mom knows us?

THE WHEELCHAIR: What mom?

GEORGE: Oh, wait. It's a misspelling of anonymous.

THE WHEELCHAIR: So...am I left or right handed? Such a hard question.

GEORGE: Just play baseball!

{Cut to The Wheelchair at a baseball field. King Snailbert is pitching, the walkie-talkie is to the left of home plate, and The Wheelchair is holding a bat in a right handed batter's position.}

GEORGE: Are you to the left side of home plate or the right side?

THE WHEELCHAIR: {switching postitions} I can't decide. Uh...the left one! {stops in a right-handed batter's position}

KING SNAILBERT: Now I'm gonna throw the ball. You have to hit it with the bat.

{King Snailbert throws the ball, and The Wheelchair swings and misses it}

KING SNAILBERT: Strike one!

THE WHEELCHAIR: What? That's not a strike! It's a ball!

KING SNAILBERT: No, it's a strike.

THE WHEELCHAIR: If it were a strike, it would have knocked down me and the nine other wheelchairs behind me! {The camera zooms out to reveal nine other wheelchair behind The Wheelchair set up in the same way bowling pins are set. The camera zooms back in.} Besides, even if it was a strike, the baseball would still be a ball.

KING SNAILBERT: Can I call you stupid from now on?

THE WHEELCHAIR: No.

{Cut to Bad Steve in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes land. He doesn't have sunglasses on. Instead he has X's for eyes. Sunglasses pop over his eyes, and Bad Steve gets up. The camera zooms out to reveal The Worm watching Bad Steve.}

THE WORM: He's alive!

BAD STEVE: What happened? Where am I? Where's my soda?

THE WORM: I revived you from the dead. Bad Steve, I want you to help us save our planet.

BAD STEVE: I'll do it under one condition.

THE WORM: What's that?

BAD STEVE: You get me an extra extra large soda.

THE WORM: Deal. {pauses} So, Bad Steve, are you glad you're alive again?

{three random horses run over Bad Steve}

BAD STEVE: Pain hurts.

{cut to The Wheelchair and George moving around Sweet Cuppin' Cakes}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {to George on walkie-talkie} Both ways felt comfortable and they both gave the same performance. I don't have a clue if I'm right handed or left handed.

GEORGE: Maybe you're neither.

THE WHEELCHAIR: No, I have hands, they're just invisible.

GEORGE: I meant that you could be...ambex...er...what's the word?

KING SNAILBERT: Ambidextrous. Meaning that you're both left and right-handed.

GEORGE: Moving on, sunrise is in forty-six minutes. Rockholz is launching his missile in one hour and two minutes. You and King Snailbert have sixteen minutes to get to the machinery around the missile and hit one of the nine buttons.

THE WHEELCHAIR: What do we do until then?

GEORGE: I don't know. Eat very large pancakes.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Roger that!

{Cut to two silhouettes. One is shaped like a flower.}

MR. E: You must destroy the world, my apprentice.

FLOWER: {deep voice} I will master. But I have one question.

MR. E: What?

FLOWER: Why do you hate The Wheelchair so much?

MR. E: He killed my father.

FLOWER: No, Luke. I am your father!

MR. E: Great. Now Star Wars is gonna sue us.

FLOWER: I'm just joking. So who's your real father?

MR. E: I'd rather not say. We're getting off topic. You do your duties. Do whatever it takes to make Rockholz's plan succeed.

FLOWER: I will.

{The flower jumps toward the screen revealing his face to be Mr. Flower's. Cut to George talking into his walkie-talkie in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes land.}

GEORGE: Only thirty-four minutes left until sunrise.

{a cage drops from the sky on George, and he drops his walkie-talkie}

GEORGE: What's going on!? Help! Get me out of here!

THE WHEELCHAIR: {from walkie-talkie} George! What's happening! Is the plan still on?

{Mr. Flower comes onscreen and picks up the walkie-talkie}

MR. FLOWER: {to walkie-talkie} Oh it's on. On the road to failure. Mwah ha ha ha ha!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Mr. Flower! What the heck! Why're you betraying us?

MR. FLOWER: 'Cause I want to!

{everything goes quiet}

MR. FLOWER: Awkward silence.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Abraham Lincoln.

MR. FLOWER: Huh?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh nevermind. You'll never get away with this! The good guys aways win!

MR. FLOWER: Not in real life.

THE WHEELCHAIR AND MR. FLOWER: {laugh}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Well it still is pretty unfair. We only get sixteen minutes to rescue George, get through the security, and save the world.

MR. FLOWER: Well I have to. I get paid cash to destroy the world.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Let me guess: Mr. E.

THE WHEELCHAIR AND MR. FLOWER: Who is he?

THE WHEELCHAIR: You don't know?

MR. FLOWER: All I know is that you killed his father.

THE WHEELCHAIR: No! No! I knew that was gonna come back to haunt me! No!

MR. FLOWER: What? Who was he?

THE WHEELCHAIR: His father is...

{the scene pauses}

NARRATOR: Who is Mr. E's father? Will The Wheelchair be able to save the planet? Find out in the next email!

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on The Wheelchair at the end to see this:

{cut to The Wheelchair in a blank room}

THE WHEELCHAIR: No, I'm not gonna tell you who Mr. E's father is! Sheesh! You people are so impatient!

Fun Facts

  • "No, Luke. I am your father!" is from the fifth Star Wars movie.
  • This is the first non-special email to be over 150 lines long.


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