Other Character Email The Wheelchair/saving the moon

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The Wheelchair Email #22

Contents

Summary

Mr. E's father is revealed. Then Firebert helps to save the moon...or will the moon be destroyed?

Cast (in order of appearance): The Wheelchair, an Ungurait, King Snailbert, Mr. Flower, George, Firebert, Eh! Steve, Bad Steve, Ready for Primetime, Keyboard Strong Bad, The Worm, Sherlock, a reporter, Mr. E, Zorkolch (easter egg)

Plot: Trapped in Whatever

Computer: Happy 354

Lines: 127

Page Title: Happy with the 354

Release Date: July 23, 2006

Transcript

NARRATOR: Previously on The Wheelchair Emails... {cut to a paused scene of The Wheelchair talking into a walkie-talkie} The Wheelchair was about to reveal Mr. E's father. So, to keep the suspense, we will travel to the future where The Wheelchair and friends prevent Rockholz's evil plan from happening. Okay, fine, I'll tell you who it is. The Homeschool Winner! Fine, it's... {the scene unpauses}

THE WHEELCHAIR: His father is one of The Unguraits. See I was a little short on money two years back, and I heard a rumor about a top secret organization. If I joined and completed my job, I would get 100 grand. So I joined. My mission was to kill or capture the last Ungurait. The Unguraits were clan of murderers. The Ungurait was on the Moon, and different groups were assigned to search different craters and plains. My group of nine people plus myself were given the Tycho crater. For several weeks we searched the crater, returning back to our shuttle every night to recharge our oxygen tanks. Finally we searched the mountain in the center of the crater. We found a door on the mountain and we entered. While we were in the airlock, we took off our helmets. As soon as we all did, a poisonous gas was emitted into the airlock. My whole group was poisoned, but I survived because I am a wheelchair. That was when I realized that I never needed my helmet.

{Cut to The Wheelchair in the airlock. The door opens, and The Wheelchair steps inside a large room. On the other side of the room, an Ungurait is standing on a platform.}

UNGURAIT: I see you survived.

THE WHEELCHAIR: What? I couldn't hear you.

UNGURAIT: What did you say?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Speak louder!

UNGURAIT: Oh, nevermind.

{Spears shoot out of every wall at The Wheelchair, but they slow down in the air and eventually fall to the ground before actually hitting The Wheelchair.}

UNGURAIT: Darn it! Stupid Isaac Newton! He just had to invent gravity and inertia, didn't he?

THE WHEELCHAIR: So you want to play that way, huh? {taking out a package and opening it} Then face the awesome wrath of my rocket boosters!

{The Wheelchair takes rocket boosters out of the package and attaches them to himself. He flies toward the Ungurait on the platform.}

UNGURAIT: This is gonna be sad.

{The Wheelchair almost gets to the platform, but right before his front tires touch it, fifty missiles launch right into The Wheelchair, followed by many spears shooting out of the walls. The Wheelchair lands on the ground nearly dead.}

UNGURAIT: I did it! I slayed the beast on wheels! {laughs menacingly}

{cut to a close-up of the nearly dead The Wheelchair}

THE WHEELCHAIR: I have...to...reach the...reviving potion...so hard...I can't...reach it.

{The Wheelchair grabs a potion from a pocket or something, and drinks it. The camera zooms out. A bright white glow surrounds The Wheelchair so you can't see him. The Wheelchair charges out of it at full speed using his rocket boosters. He slams the Ungurait into the wall.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: You're gonna pay. {grabs Ungurait}

UNGURAIT: I was the one who killed your father.

THE WHEELCHAIR: What? My father's not dead.

UNGURAIT: Have you seen him in the past few months?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Yeah, I saw him right before the shuttle was launched.

UNGURAIT: Oh...well...um...I...really killed him anyway?

{The Wheelchair chucks the Ungurait into the air, letting him fall until just the right moment. That's when The Wheelchair charges at him and smashes him into the airlock's first door, breaking it.}

UNGURAIT: No! Wait! Stop! You can just capture me! You don't have to kill me!

{The Wheelchair opens up the second door in the airlock and throws the Ungurait outside. The door begins to close.}

UNGURAIT: Wait! I didn't kill your father!

{Cut to The Wheelchair, King Snailbert, George, who's in a cage, and Mr. Flower in Sweet Cuupin' Cakes.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: And when I opened up the airlock again he was nowhere to be seen. So I thought...wait! How long have I been in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes?

MR. FLOWER: Two minutes.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh no! I gotsta getsta checking email!

{Cut to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354. The Wheelchair double-clicks on "Email".}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {singing} Oh, once I ate a cherry, and once I ate a duck, {a duck quacks twice} but I'd never go quail hunting with Dick Cheney. Or eat email.

{an email pops up}

(none)

Do you think Firebert might a splode your computer?
I mean, he does have some pretty massive and big dynamite.

- Awstin washisfase

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} What in the binary asteroid is Firebert? And...a splode? Erg...dumb vector...makes me wanna...Strong Bad.

{The camera zooms out to reveal Firebert pushing down on a TNT detonator in slow motion. An explosive next to the computer is attached to the detonator. The Wheelchair grabs it in slow motion and throws it in slow motion and it explodes in slow motion. Time returns to normal.}

FIREBERT: What in weird shaped chair is wrong with you? I was just about to a splode your computer!

THE WHEELCHAIR: WRONG WITH ME? You have to be...wait! The portals of dimensions have been closed. How did you get into this dimension?

FIREBERT: I'm on vacation. I've been here for weeks.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hey, do you want to replace a snail on a journey to defeat evil?

FIREBERT: I guess...if the money's high enough.

THE WHEELCHAIR: How about I pay you negative one thousand dollars.

FIREBERT: I'll do it! That's more than what Gunhaver gives us!

{Cut to inside a cave. The Wheelchair, Firebert, Eh! Steve, Bad Steve, Ready for Primetime, Keyboard Strong Bad, King Snailbert, The Worm, and Sherlock are in it.}

KING SNAILBERT: Can I ask a question, The Wheelchair?

THE WHEELCHAIR: You just did.

KING SNAILBERT: If Mr. E's father was an Ungurait, is Mr. E one too?

THE WHEELCHAIR: I have no clue.

FIREBERT: Everyone exit the cave.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Why?

FIREBERT: Just do it!

{Everyone leaves except Firebert, who throws a grenade and flees out of the cave. When Firebert manages to get outside, the cave collapses. All that remains is the missile and the machinary around it.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Where in squiggly pencils is Rockholz?

KING SNAILBERT: Nevermind that! We only have two minutes left!

{The nine characters climb over the collapsed cave. Each character then occupies a station where a single button is there.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Everyone press their button in three...two...one...now!

{nothing happens}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Um...why didn't it abort?

{the camera zooms out to reveal Mr. Flower holding Firebert back, so Firebert can't press his button}

MR. FLOWER: You'll never win!

THE WHEELCHAIR: No, you'll never...

{the missile launches behind The Wheelchair}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Great. Now that missile's gonna blow up Earth's moon.

MR. FLOWER: Huh? It's gonna blow up one of Jupiter's many undiscovered moons, not The Moon.

THE WHEELCHAIR: But Rockholz...

MR. FLOWER: Mr. E fired Rockholz.

{cut to The Wheelchair and King Snailbert in the throne room}

KING SNAILBERT: Mr. Flower rigged the my portal of dimensions, and that's how I got sucked in. George fixed it so it works now. Where is he, anyway?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Er...flower...E...um...I don't know.

KING SNAILBERT: I don't ever remember him being captured by my guide and a silhouette...so...why don't we just celebrate that we're back in are own dimensions.

THE WHEELCHAIR: I'm not.

KING SNAILBERT: Do you like Teen Girl Squad more?

THE WHEELCHAIR: No.

KING SNAILBERT: Then you're back in your own dimension. Oh and I almost forgot to open up all the other portals of dimensions. Servants, open all the portals of dimensions!

{a portal of dimensions appears on the other side of the room and hundreds of monsters run out and exit the throne room}

KING SNAILBERT: Stupid monsters.

{A message comes up saying "Later". Cut to The Wheelchair watching the news on TV.}

REPORTER: Scientists are now claiming that Jupiter is forming new rings. They say that one of its undiscovered moons was grasped by Jupiter gravity and it smashed. But one cukoo scientist thinks that a missile blew it up. The first person to suggest it was The Worm, and no one has agreed with him yet. Okay, coming up next is an interview with an evil villian. Keep watching.

{cut to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} So Awstin wash's faces, Firebert is very dangerous with his explosives. And I'll try to stop with these intense plots. I'll just hire someone else to stop Mr. E. Who is Mr. E? It's such a mystery.

{cut to Mr. E and Mr. Flower, who's holding George in a cage, in a cave}

MR. FLOWER: I've got the snail.

MR E: An excellent hostage.

GEORGE: Let me go!

MR. E: Be quiet!

MR. FLOWER: Uh...Mr. E...are you an Ungurait?

MR. E: Why?

MR. FLOWER: Uh...nevermind.

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on Mr. Flower to see the interview with the evil villian:

{Zorkolch and the reporter are both in a seat}

REPORTER: So, Lex Luthor, how did you think of so many plans?

ZORKOLCH: I'm not Lex Luthor. I'm Zorkolch.

REPORTER: So Zorkolch, did you ever defeat Superman?

ZORKOLCH: Who in potato glass is Superman?

REPORTER: So, why'd you retire? Was it because of your old age?

ZORKOLCH: I'm young for a rock monster!

REPORTER: You're not...a rock monster.

Fun Facts

  • When the monsters run out of the portal, it's referring to whatever, when King Snailbert says he closed the portals because of monsters.
  • Dick Cheney once shot his friend while going quail hunting.
  • Lex Luthor and Superman are from Superman, which is made by DC Comics.


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