Other Character Email The Wheelchair/court case

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The Wheelchair Email #17

Contents

Summary

The Wheelchair sues Vector Strong Bad for shooting him with a laser. It is taken to the court, and Homestar is the judge.

Cast (in order of appearance): The Wheelchair, Vector Strong Bad, nurses, doctor, Bubs, Strong Bad, George

Plot: None

Computer: Happy 354

Lines: 125

Page Title: Happy with the 354

Release Date: May 23, 2006

Transcript

{The Wheelchair double-clicks on "Email"}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {singing} I was rolling through the grass, in a field made of brass. But I didn't have a laptop computer to check an email.

{an email pops up}

(none)

Your computer a splode.
- Vector SB

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} You're not even nice enough to leave a greeting. You meanie. {clears screen} But anyways, I don't believe you for one second! Okay, one second is up, I better do a virus scan now.

{The Wheelchair double-clicks on "Virus Scan". A message comes up saying "1 Virus Found: Vector Strong Bad. Impossible to Delete."}

THE WHEELCHAIR: What!?

{The computer screen goes black and a very small Vector Strong Bad in the middle of the screen grows as if it is moving closer to the outside world. Vector Strong Bad then comes out of the computer.}

VECTOR STRONG BAD: Time to a splode!

{The Wheelchair grabs his computer, pulling all the plugs out of an outlet in the wall, and runs offscreen. Vector Strong Bad chases him. Cut to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land. The Wheelchair puts down his computer and catches his breath, while Vector Strong Bad comes onscreen.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Don't do it.

{Vector Strong Bad shoots a laser at the computer, but The Wheelchair dives in front of it to protect it.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!

{The Wheelchair gets hit and falls to the ground}

VECTOR STRONG BAD: Oh no. I'm gonna get sued.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Obviously.

VECTOR STRONG BAD: Yes! You are alive.

{Three random horses run over The Wheelchair. Cut to two nurses holding a stretcher with The Wheelchair on it running into the the hospital. The Wheelchair is put on a bed and a doctor looks at him.}

DOCTOR: Why does he have footprints on him?

{Cut to a court room. The Wheelchair is the plaintiff, Vector Strong Bad is the defendant, and Homestar is the judge.}

HOMESTAR: The court is now in session!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Well Vector Strong Bad got inside my computer, and then he came out and tried to destroy it. I protected the computer and got shot with one of is lasers. And then I...Are you listening?

{cut to Homestar playing a Game Boy}

THE WHEELCHAIR: You're the judge! You should be listening!

HOMESTAR: I was.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Then what did I just say?

HOMESTAR: Uh...something about coffee? Besides, who cares what you say. Vector Stwong Bad's much cooler 'cause he's in a video game.

VECTOR STRONG BAD: That is correct. But everything The Wheelchair said was a lie. He threatened me to make a video that looked like I shot him.

HOMESTAR: I love special effects! Can I see the video?

VECTOR STRONG BAD: No, it was destroyed in the Indian raid.

HOMESTAR: Okay!

{cut to the doctor in the stand and The Wheelchair questioning him}

THE WHEELCHAIR: And what damages did you find?

DOCTOR: It seems as if three random horses ran over you and broke some of...

THE WHEELCHAIR: I meant damages when Vector Strong Bad shot me.

DOCTOR: There were no major damages, but we have confirmed that you were shot with a laser.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Aha! See! He did shoot me!

DOCTOR: Yes, but you wouldn't have needed any special treatment for it. You were hurt the most when the three random horses ran over you.

VECTOR STRONG BAD: See!

HOMESTAR: How about you both win! Then everyone's happy!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Not really.

VECTOR STRONG BAD: I can't take this anymore! I shot him!

EVERYONE: We know.

VECTOR STRONG BAD: Oh yeah.

HOMESTAR: Let's let the jury decide who's innocent and who's guilty.

{The screen goes black, and the words "A few minutes later" pop up. The screen fades back to the court room.}

HOMESTAR: The jury says they can't decide yet. They have to hear someone rap first.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Then listen to this! Yo I...

HOMESTAR: That's horrible.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Where's the jury anyway? I don't see a jury.

HOMESTAR: They're ants, and they're in my pants.

THE WHEELCHAIR: You don't wear pants.

HOMESTAR: Oh yeah. I forgot.

VECTOR STRONG BAD: Just put me in jail! I can't stand this court case any longer!

THE WHEELCHAIR: No! Don't put him in jail!

VECTOR STRONG BAD: Yeah, put The Wheelchair in jail.

THE WHEELCHAIR: I don't want to go to jail! I just want the money that he has to pay!

{everyone gasps besides The Wheelchair}

HOMESTAR: I declare you, The Wheelchair... {takes out an envelope and opens it, and then he reads off a piece of paper} Not guilty!

{everyone gasps besides Homestar}

HOMESTAR: And I'll pay The Wheelchair to make Vector Stwong Bad happy.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Okay, that works.

HOMESTAR: Ha! I tricked you! You really are a greedy slob!

THE WHEELCHAIR: You can't trick me! You're much too dumb!

HOMESTAR: You're right. Only a cyborg controlled by Vector Stwong Bad would be smart enough to trick you. And now that I mention it {Homestar's eyes turn red} maybe I am one. But if I was, I wouldn't be stupid enough to reveal I was a cyborg.

THE WHEELCHAIR: And if you were, then Vector Strong Bad would have to pay a very large fine and/or go to jail.

HOMESTAR: Are my eyes red? I think I'm getting sick. {falls over}

{Cut to Homestar in the hospital. The doctor looks at Homestar.}

DOCTOR: This doesn't make sense. He hasn't suffered any damages though he is hurt.

{The Wheelchair comes in the room}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Maybe it's because his eyes are red.

DOCTOR: They are?

THE WHEELCHAIR: How did you not know that?

DOCTOR: I'm color-blind, but anyways, he must have a disease called {the camera zooms in on the doctor's face} Red-eyed Stupid Person Disease.

THE WHEELCHAIR: And who thought up that name?

DOCTOR: Some doctor in the '70's.

BUBS: {offscreen} Why is everyone staring at me?

THE WHEELCHAIR: We're not.

DOCTOR: Anyway, there's only one way to save his life: CPR.

THE WHEELCHAIR: No.

DOCTOR: So you're just going to let him die?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Pretty much.

{The Wheelchair leaves}

DOCTOR: Oh why do I always have to do this? Well then, here goes. {takes a deep breath}

{Cut to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} And Homestar's alive so that means...ew. They're rescheduling the court case for...RIGHT NOW!!

{Cut to The Wheelchair rushing into the court room. This time, Strong Bad is the judge.}

STRONG BAD: You're late.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Sorry, I was trying to finish up an email.

STRONG BAD: Take your place.

{The Wheelchair gets behind the plaintiff's podium thing}

STRONG BAD: Now, The Wheelchair, tell me why you deserve the money.

THE WHEELCHAIR: I'm in debt because I spent a lot of money on traps to destroy Eh! Steve.

STRONG BAD: Vector Strong Bad says that he needs money so he can create a better video game, and that's a much better reason then being in debt.

THE WHEELCHAIR: What?

STRONG BAD: If he pays you, his game'll be erased for eternity.

{the court room's doors come open, and George comes in}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {whispering to George} What are you doing here?

GEORGE: Saving you.

{George gives a package filled with photos to Strong Bad. Strong Bad takes out the photos and looks at them.}

GEORGE: The first picture is a photograph of Vector Strong Bad shooting The Wheelchair. The second is an X-ray picture of The Wheelchair's bones after he was shot. The third photo is an X-ray picture of The Wheelchair after he was trampled by the three random horses. There is hardly a change between the second and third photographs proving that Vector Strong Bad did hurt The Wheelchair and that the doctor is wrong.

STRONG BAD: Vector Strong Bad is guilty! Case closed!

{cut to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} So I won. George can be real helpful sometimes. Anyway, I'm still grossed out about the CPR thing. At least I can pay off my debts now.

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "CPR" to see what the doctor did:

{The doctor is in the hospital room with Homestar. He reaches into his pockets and throws out loads and loads of candy.}

DOCTOR: CPR: Candy Party Rampage.

  • Click on "debts" to see a list of The Wheelchair's debts:

{A list pops up saying "Flamethrower", "Axe", "Giant mouse trap", "Bug spray", and "Sharks".}

Fun Facts


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