PBTC The Cheat Email/world ruling

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PBTC The Cheat Email #61 world ruling

Summary

The Cheat gets a new computer and lets out his secrets on how to rule the world.

Here We GO!

{The Cheat walks up with a deployed parachute on his back to his computer to find it disintegrated}

THE CHEAT: Wow. That would've been a good RealTV action stunt. Should've filmed it. My email! Whereever has it gone? {Pom Pom walks up}

POM POM: {in deep manly voice} Here The Cheat, take my Pom Pilot! {drops a Pom Pilot on the ground and bounces off. The Cheat jumps on}

THE CHEAT: 3 and GO! {The Pom Pilot flies The Cheat offscreen}

{The scene changes to the interior of a Wal-mart. The Cheat flies in and the Pom Pilot stands up}

POM PILOT: {in mechanical, female voice} Thank you for flying Air Pom! {flies off}

EMPLOYEE: How may I assist and or hand you a prize, The Cheat?

THE CHEAT: I need a computer. A computer to take me on animated adventurements.

EMPLOYEE: I know just the thing. {He reaches into a shelf and pulls out an extremely large flatscreen} Meet the Fatty 412. He can check emails.

THE CHEAT: It'll do. {Cut to Contestro and Gunhaver in The Cheat's computer room staring at the Fatty}

CONTESTRO: That computer is rather portly.

GUNHAVER: You hurt his feelings, Contestro! Drop and give me an ice pop! {Contestro starts doing push-ups and a popsicle flies onscreen} Yuck! I didn't want tangelo flavored popsicle! '{The Cheat walks in}

THE CHEAT: You guys have your own portly computers. Get out! {The two walk out} Yes, I see you, too, Tampo, Brody, and Stlunko! {The three appear from behind the computer}

STLUNKO: You know, you're computer is rather portly.

THE CHEAT: You 3 have your own email show. Get out.

TAMPO: But I must share with Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch's Trash Can. I wanna shine!

THE CHEAT: Check out your page views. You sparkle!

TAMPO, BRODY, AND STLUNKO: Goodbye The Cheat. Thanks for the encouragement.

THE CHEAT: Now, lets see how this baby checks email. {Types Cheatmail.exe, email pops up}

Dear Best Guy to EVER LIVE,
I need some advice for how to rule to world.
From,
Dolpins

THE CHEAT: {reading email} Dear me, Show how you rule the world. From, fish.

THE CHEAT:Well, Fred, It's actually pretty easy. {Cut to The Cheat in a classroom} First, we need a good size amount of jelly beans.

STRONG MAD: {offscreen} DAH!

KING OF TOWN: {offscreen} No, I use those to eat with!

{A dump truck pulls in and dumps a load of jelly beans next to The Cheat}

THE CHEAT: There. Now we already have enough beans to overthrow Japan. The sumos will gladly take our offer.

CROWD: {ofscreen} Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah!

THE CHEAT: Next, we need a 1930s-esque movie monster. {King Kong appears}

KING KONG: Jack Black! Jack Black!

STRONG MAD: {ofscreen} Huh? Uh...Roseanne! Roseanne!

THE CHEAT: Mind if I ride you, King Kong?

KING KONG: Why no.

{The Cheat jumps on King Kong's back and he runs off. Cut to The Cheat and King Kong on the moon}

THE CHEAT: Since Kong here is so good with weaponry, watch how easy this is.

{King Kong whips out a bazooka}

THE CHEAT: Will you pay, New York?

PEOPLE ON EARTH: Make us!

THE CHEAT: If you insist. Blast off! {King Kong fires the bazooka. The screen flashes. We see the entire state of New York land on another planet}

RUDY GUILIANI: Get out of here Nebulons. No one likes your style.

THE CHEAT: And since the whole world was watching, you can do it to anywhere from Paraguay to Nrth Dakota. That is world domination, my friends.

{The Printer flies across the screen, ejecting a CD reading, "'Bout Time."}


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