PBTC The Cheat Email/douglas

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PBTC The Cheat Email #62 douglas

Here We GO!

THE CHEAT: Just...email. No rap. Tonight. {types Cheatmail.exe; email pops up}

What the crap?

{Cut to The Cheat in front of The Poopsmith's pile. He has a clipboard and a pencil}

THE CHEAT: Hmm...

{Cut back to the computer}

THE CHEAT: I'm not quite sure what the crap. Next email time. {a new email pops up}

Dear Teh C,
Why can't you say Douglas? Also, did you know you're the coolest person around? EVER! -love- Li'l Runt

THE CHEAT: {mumbling, reading} Teh C? Is that some kind of rapper? It sounds like a rapper. Not the candy kind, either. Anyways...I've known I was the coolest person ever a million hours before this. Duh. As for why I can't say {beep,} what? How come I can't say D{beep}as? Weird. Gotta figure this out before the Printer falls over. {The Cheat runs offscreen}

{Cut to The Cheat in a Preschool classroom}

TEACHER: All right kids. Today we're learning about names. We'll be reciting names today. Say...Regis.

CLASS: Re-gis.

TEACHER: Good. Now say...Douglas.

CLASS: {everyone but The Cheat} Douglas.

THE CHEAT: {beep} This didn't help at all. i gotta get to the bottom of this. {The Cheat walks off.

{Cut to The Cheat outside a tall building. A sign reads:} 

4Wimpz Entertainment

*not affiliated with 4Wimps Entertainment

THE CHEAT: This seems to be 4Wimps. {walks in. He walks toward a receptionist}

RECEPTIONIST: Welcome to 4Wimpz. How may I? Help you, your beautifulness?

THE CHEAT: I need to talk with whoever cencors the content.

RECEPTIONIST: But first you must prove yourself. Release the Ninjas riding Lions! {Ninjas riding lions appear} Attack! {The Ninjas and lions jump toward The Cheat}

THE CHEAT: Good thing I always carry my Portable walkie-talkie extraordinarily hi-tech laser missile missile with internet access! A missile fires and the ninjas and lions run off screaming}

NINJA: How rude!

RECEPTIONIST: You may proceed. [The Cheat walks into a nearby hallway the door says, "DIRECTOR OF CENSORSHIP"}

THE CHEAT: {walks in and sees a man sitting in front of a large switchboard} Hey! You've censored me! I didn't even say anything wrong this time!

MAN: My bad. Please forgive me. Take a trophy. {hands The Cheat a basket of trohies, with wine and a baguette} What did I censor?

THE CHEAT: You sencored Do{beep}s!

MAN: What then?

THE CHEAT: {beep}as!

MAN: One more time.

THE CHEAT: {pulls out a TV. A REAL SBEemail is playing}

REAL STRONG SAD: Douglas!

MAN: Oh. Sorry. Hang on. {He turns around and clicks some buttons} There.

THE CHEAT: Can I do one or many things?

MAN: Go ahead. {He jumps out the window}

THE CHEAT: Sweeeeet. {Clicks some buttons. Cut to the Cheat back at his computer}

THE CHEAT: Well, Master Wonka, I can say Douglas now, and I censored something that should've been a while ago. Well, I gotta go win a winning contest. {walks offscreen. The Printer falls over, ejecting a CD reading, "Up with censorship, down with politics!"}

Easter Eggs

  • Click the CD to see an extra scene.

Transcript

{Cut to Homestar standing next to Marzipan around a lot of flowers}

MARZIPAN: What did you want to say to me, Homestar?

HOMESTAR: {holds out a little black box and gets down on one knee} {bleeping out his speaking}

MARZIPAN: A black box? Are you stealing cable? We're through! I'm going back with The Cheat! {walks off. Homestar moans}


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