PBTC The Cheat Email/million dollars

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Contents

PBTC The Cheat Email #59 million dollars

Summary

The Cheat gets another million dollars.

Cast(in order of appearance)

The Cheat, Cheerleader, Employee, Liekand, Stinkoman, Regis, Kelly, Audience, Homestar

Here We GO!

THE CHEAT: I take my C-mail to the park and take my C-mail back here. {Types Cheatmail.exe; email pops up}

You have just won 1 million punches in the face
come outside to claim your prize
Regis Phillman or The Stick

THE CHEAT: {reading email} No name, I have just won 1 million dollars. Come outside to claim my prize? From Reggie at The Stick. Well, Regis, you done something worthwhile. {The Cheat walks outside. The Wienermobile is sitting on the road. A cheerleader is sitting in the passenger seat}

CHEERLEADER: Come The Cheat! Come Meet Regis! I love you! Come ride in the wienermobile!

THE CHEAT: Ok, ok, ditto, I will! {The Cheat hops in and drives off. The Cheat pulls into a McDonald's drive-thru}

EMPLOYEE: What do you want?

THE CHEAT: I'll have everything! {The employee gives The Cheat everything}

EMPLOYEE: That'll be $137.56. {The Employee hands The Cheat $137.56} Have fun!

THE CHEAT: {drives off, eating} Yum! {The Cheat pulls up to a tornado} Halfway to go, I have to go through a tornado! {Glasses pop out of the tornado and land on the tops of it} Liekand?

LIEKAND: Make it past me, The Cheat! Fear my tropical-storm-force wind speeds and tremble! No weinermobile can defeat me!

STINKOMAN: {walking up, eating a burger} Sticklyman was right! This pudding berger is much better than that digging pudding! Whoa! The Liekand! DOUBLE DEUCE!!!!!! {Stinkoman throws his burger at The Liekand}

LIEKAND: My taste buds! AHHH!

STINKOMAN: My burger! AHHH! {They both disentigrate. The Cheat drives off}

CHEERLEADER: I'm sorry The Cheat! This is my stop! {The Cheerleader kisses The Cheat and jumps out the window}

THE CHEAT: Weirdo. {The Cheat pulls into the set of Regis and Kelly}

KELLY: And that concludes why Tampo Emails are so popular.

REGIS: True dat Kel!

KELLY: {smiles} Shut up Regis!

REGIS: The Cheat! Come sit down with us! And take my winning Fantasy 5 Ticket! {The Cheat sits down and is handed a lottery ticket}

KELLY: We have The Cheat here with us! Isn't that great?

AUDIENCE: YAY!

REGIS: So, why are you here The Cheat you're looking fine!

THE CHEAT: You said you'd give me a million dol-

KELLY: Reeeeeeeegis....

REGIS: I don't know what he's talking about, I swear!

AUDIENCE: BOO!

KELLY: Are you giving away millions of dollars again?

REGIS: Only on my game show.

AUDIENCE: YAY AND BOO! YOO! BAY!

THE CHEAT: So...

REGIS: Here The Cheat! Come play on my game show! {The set changes to the set of Who Wants to be a Millionaire? except on the neon sign, the o in millionaire is blown out} First question! Who was buried in Grant's Tomb? A. The Correct Answer B. Grant C.I want a million dollars! or D. All of the above?

THE CHEAT: I believe the answer is D, Regis.

REGIS: Correct! Question 2! In what year was the War of 1812? A. The Wrong Answer B. 20X6 C. 1812 D. Use a lifeline!

THE CHEAT: This is tough! I'm gonna use my 75-75 lifeline!

AUDIENCE: YAY!

REGIS: All right. Computer, take away 3 of the incorrect answers! {All the answers disappear and a new choice appears, "Win!"}

THE CHEAT: I think I'll go with....Win!

AUDIENCE: YAY!

REGIS: You win! You win! Beat that, Bob Barker! {Regis hands The Cheat a million dollars bill. Cut to The Cheat back at his computer}

THE CHEAT: Well, Regis. I'm gonna go buy out McDonald's! {Cut to The Cheat ordering at McDonald's (not drive-in). Homestar is taking the order} Homestar?

HOMESTAR: Well, my girl! Friend broke up with me. So I need a 4th job. Would you like to supersize your franchise takeover?

THE CHEAT: Sure.

HOMESTAR: Everyone out! This is The Cheat's now! {Everyone runs out}

THE CHEAT: Now to the 2 months later transition scene! {A transition occurs that says, "2 months later"}

THE CHEAT: {extremely fat} Hey burger! {Holds up a burger} Go get, go...go get my. My heart surgeon.

{The Cheat burps and a CD flies out, reading, "Cheatonald's"}


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