PBTC The Cheat Email/Alpha-bits

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Contents

PBTC The Cheat Email #60 Alpha-bits

Summary

The Cheat deciphers the message!

Cast(in order of appearance)

The Cheat, Homestar, Navy, Bubs, Akebono, King Of Town, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, 1-Up, Super Sam, Strong Sad

Here We GO!

THE CHEAT: Hey everyone! {Homestar walks up in a shirt reading, "EVERYONE IS I"}

HOMESTAR: Ye! Es? How do what's up?

THE CHEAT: It's my 60th email!

HOMESTAR: I'd better call in the Navy! {Homestar pulls out a cell phone and dials a number} Hello?

THE NAVY: {automated voice} Hello! You have reached the Navy! Press One to be transferred to The Cheat's 60th email party. {Homestar clicks a button. Cut to a bowling alley. Homestar, The Cheat, Bubs, and Homsar are there, and Homsar is wearing a jack-o-lantern instead of his bowler hat}

BUBS: Happy birthday The Cheat!

THE CHEAT: It's not my birthday.

BUBS: Happy Day The Cheat! I brought you a sumo wrestler! {Akebono walks up}

AKEBONO: Hey The Cheat! I'm the first Non-Japanese sumo wrestler to become Sumo Grand Champion!

BUBS: {pulls out a calculator} Letsee, one sumo wrestler, divided by math times 523, equals that'll be $12!

AKEBONO: You don't need The Cheat's money! Take mine! {Akebono throws a safe at Bubs, crushing him}

BUBS AHH! My legs! They're inside me!

KING OF TOWN: {walking up, singing} Doo hoo! I love my lard! It feels like a- {broken glass flies into the King Of Town's stomach}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Strong Mad! C'mon! Run!

STRONG MAD: {offscreen} DAH!

KING OF TOWN: ...glass shards. {gasps} DAD?

AKEBONO: Son! {They both run and hug. Akebono disappears}

KING OF TOWN: Doo hoo? Dad?

AKEBONO: I'm {grunts} stuck in your belly button.

KING OF TOWN: Oh. Good, then. {The King Of Town/Akebono walk offscreen}

HOMSAR: Hear Ye Hear Ye! Super Sam saved my fish's numbers! {Homsar throws the Cheatomatic at The Cheat and it starts up}

CHEATOMATIC: Generic...Startup noise! DING!

THE CHEAT: While we're here, I'll check some email! Let's see. How to type? {Homsar burps and a present flies out}

HOMSAR: Give me my CE1 back, Raynor!

THE CHEAT: No. {The Cheat types Cheatmail.exe; an email pops up}

PBTC The Cheat,
How does it feel to be worshiped
every day of your life?

Stinkoman K

THE CHEAT: {reading email} Hmm...P-B-T-C? Painting black telephones cerulean? Maybe.........

HOMSAR: 86?

HOMESTAR: Puffins Bloated Through Cheatcakes?

BUBS: Pelvis Being Totally Crushed? Still? {grunts}

1-UP: {walks up} Pudding By The Carton?

THE CHEAT: No.

SUPER SAM: {walks up} Plever Bever Tever Clever? JIBNEY?

THE CHEAT: No.

HOMESTAR: Just do the email! I wanna! Watch!

THE CHEAT: Okay. The Cheat, how does it feel to be be war shipped every day of your life? Stlunko Mank.

HOMESTAR: You're a good reader.

THE CHEAT: Well, Stlunko, it feels good. It feels better than your email will be in about three seconds because your email is BOO-

HOMESTAR: I wanna say it!

THE CHEAT: Ugh. Fine!

HOMESTAR: Okay. BOOMED!

BOOMED?

HOMESTAR: TOOTED? POOTED? {A sign comes up reading "5 minutes later"}

HOMESTAR: {typing in tries} DEBATED?

BOOMED
TOOTED
POOTED
BRUTED
RECRUITED
SUITED
FRUITED
MUTED
HOOTED
JIBNEYTED
HOMESTAR
SHOOTED
RUNNER
THE RIGHT ANSWER
DEBATED
What the crap is that fweaking word?

THE CHEAT: BOOTED! {The email gets BOOTED!} Next email.

Hey!
There's a message in my Alpha-bits.
They say oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

THE CHEAT: {reading email} Message in some Alpha-bits. Oooooooooooooooooooooooo. From The No-name. Ooh! A message in your Alphabits. Interesting. {Cut to Strong Sad's rooms. The Cheat and Strong Sad are in there}

STRONG SAD: So, The Cheat. You got my email? I'm sad that there's a message in my Alpha-bits. Look. {Strong Sad pulls out a bowl}

THE CHEAT: What's the problem?

STRONG SAD: Well, maybe it's an omen. A bad one.

THE CHEAT: Hang on! {The Cheat inspects the bowl} Uh, Strong Sad?

STRONG SAD: Yes?

THE CHEAT: Those are Cheerios.

STRONG SAD: Oh. {Cut to The Cheat back at his computer desk with his computer}

THE CHEAT: What a waster of an email. Maybe the 61st will be better.

{The Printer falls, ejecting a CD reading, "Alpha-bits"}

Easter Eggs

  • Click the CD to see a Cheerios commercial.

Transcript

{Cut to a breakfast table with Strong Sad holding some Cheerios}

STRONG SAD: Eat Cheerios! They don't make you sad like me!

STRONG BAD: And they have low cholesterol, so you won't look like him, either!


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