Other Character Email Jaro/spies

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Contents

Summary

Jaro moves into a new old house and Green Beard is in jail.

Cast: Two guards, Green Beard, Jaro, Grundy, Chorch, Liekand, Poorbt

Lines: 180

Transcript

{Fade in to a lone room. A light turns on, revealing Green Beard, handcuffed to a chair. A cop shines a light in his face.}

AGENT 1: Do you realized what you could have caused?

GREEN BEARD: I have no idea what you are talking about.

AGENT 2: Don’t give us that crap! You could have killed us all, destroyed millions of lives!

GREEN BEARD: But I didn’t. That accounts for something, doesn’t it?

{Guard 1 strikes Green Beard with his hand.}

GREEN BEARD: Look, all I’m saying is that, I’m not the one who caused the temporal mess up. How did you know about it anyway? When time was put straight—

AGENT 1: That’s classified information. And if you didn’t cause the disruption, then who did?

GREEN BEARD: Front left pocket.

{Guard 2 reaches into Green Beard’s pants pocket and pulls out a folded up piece of notebook paper.}

GUARD 2: Interesting…

GUARD 1: What do you want me to do sir?

GUARD 2: Locate these three people, and send our best undercover agents to them.

GUARD 1: Right away, sir.

{Fade out.}

{Fade into the gang in Dark Greggo’s ship. Chorch is busy steering while the others talk.}

JARO: Because of you, we lost our ship! All my stuff was in there!

GRUNDY: It’s not my fault this ship is made of pure madness.

JARO: What are you talking about?! The button was clearly labeled “Missile launcher”

CHORCH: If you two don’t stop fighting back there, so help me, I will turn this ship around and we will not stop FOR ANY DENNYS BREAKFAST SPECIALS! Get it?

JARO AND GRUNDY: Got it.

CHORCH: Good.

{There is a long pause.}

JARO: So, where the crap are we going to live?

CHORCH: Not sure. We could live in this boat/ship, but I’m sorta tired of the sea. And floating.

GRUNDY: We could live in our old apartment.

JARO: No, Fhqwhgads destroyed it, remember?

GRUNDY: Oh, right. What if someone rebuilt it? I mean, we did sell it to Liekand.

CHORCH: Even if he did rebuild it, it’s not like he’s just going to give it to us.

{Cut to the are where Jaro’s old apartment was. It’s still a smoking crater, but there’s a small hole in the ground. Jaro and the gang walk up.}

JARO: Eh, I guess not.

LEIKAND: {offscreen} Hey! Get off of my property!

{Liekand swirls up. He turns back into a fat mouse.}

JARO: Hey, Liekand.

LIEKAND: Heyjaro. So, where’s that bigfatstinkyguy?

CHORCH: Oh, he had to go back. Time rip.

LIEKAND: Ah, yesyesyes that can happen. So, what are you doingonmy land?

GRUNDY: We were just wondering if we could have our land back. We’re sorta homeless.

LIEKAND: Are you juys kiddingme? This house has buriedtreasure!

JARO: Oh no! It’s not the infinite treasure, is it?

LIEKAND: What? Nonononono. It’s just normalregulartreasure.

CHORCH: Oh. That’s a relief. So, you just want the land because there might be more treasure?

LIEKAND: Correctrightio.

{Chorch beeps, and then moves to the back of the crater. He digs underground for a second, and then pulls out a small red diamond.}

CHORCH: This is all that my sensors could detect.

LIEKAND: What? Wellthat’sashame. I guess you guyscanhavethis land. {Liekand tosses them a deed, turns into a tornado, and leaves.}

JARO: Why’d you just give him that ruby?

CHORCH: I had that buried there just in case of this situation. If I had not found anything, he might not have left.

JARO: Oh. So, what’re we going to do? Live in the crater.

{Cut to Grundy, who’s in Dark Greggo’s ship. He presses a random button.}

GRUNDY: Push!

{Suddenly, the ship rapidly spins, flies into the air, and plows itself into the ground. In a strange transformation sequence, the ship transforms into an exact replica of the apartment.}

JARO: Our apartment!

{Jaro and Chorch run into the house. Inside, it looks exactly like it did before it was destroyed. In the X-5’s place, is the Lappit, on a table low enough for Jaro to reach.}

JARO: Why would Dark Greggo even have such a button?

CHORCH: No time to question his motives.

{Grundy falls through the ceiling, landing on his head.}

GRUNDY: Oof!

JARO: Get up, we have to check email!

{Fade out, then back in, where Jaro and the others are crowded around the computer. Jaro talks as he types in “Jaro_Email.exe”.}

JARO: Just like the good ol’ days.

MOVING

Geuss what? I'm Moving!
Yep, I am. I was thinking
living with you. I'm
bring is Gaspeau and Frotzer with me
GET READY,

Poorbt

JARO: Well, Poor-Butt, we’d like to give you a home, but we’re too busy with…things. Besides, you have your own house.

CHORCH: Didn’t we used to be friends with Poorbt?

JARO: Maybe this guy’s a different one. Just like all the Jaros are called Jaro and all the Chorches are called Chorch and all the Grundies are called Grundy.

CHORCH: Ah.

GRUNDY: So, why can’t we just let the guy live with us?

JARO: Don’t you remember what happened the last time we let some freeloaders live with us?

GRUNDY: Oh, right.

{Cut to a large computer screen. The guards are watching the email.}

GUARD 1: Crap! They’re not buying it! We’ll just have to switch to Plan G!

{He presses a button labeled “P14N g”. Cut back to the apartment.}

JARO: Well, looks like I’ve just wasted another chunk of my life. Let’s go play Mini-large-medium golf.

GRUNDY: Yay!

{Suddenly, the door is broken down. A Poorbt in a suit steps in the house.}

CHORCH: Hey!

POORBT: Hush, I have a search warrant. To search your house with.

JARO: What? Did we do something illegal?

POORBT: We’re not entirely sure, but you’re a prime suspect in this case.

CHORCH: What case?

POORBT: Be quiet! I can’t hear the paint! {holds his “ear” to the wall, and taps it with a nightstick.} Hmm.

JARO: Look “officer”, we just moved in two minutes ago. I doubt that’s enough time for us to hide something.

POORBT: On the contrary, my dear fatson. It’s just ENOUGH time for you to hide something!

{The Poorbt holds out his arm and fires his fist. It begins to fly through the house, beeping. It comes back soon, and plugs back into his arm. His visor beeps.}

POORBT: Hmm. I can’t seem to detect any foreign time objects. You guys are clear.

{The Poorbt turns and leaves. Zoom out, to see the guards watching the email again.}

GUARD 2: Green Beard lied to us!

GUARD 1: He’s going right into the Paddler!

{Cut to Green Beard, still on the chair.}

GREEN BEARD: {thinking} That’s impossible…wait…no it isn’t. Why did I ever listen to Dark Greggo. My wife is going to kill me when I get home…

{Cut back to the computer room.}

JARO: So, until next time..we’re not prime suspects!

{The words “Click here to email Jaro” appear.}

Easter Eggs

  • Clicking on Grundy’s head at the end will trigger a bonus scene.

{Cut to a random room in the apartment. Jaro is standing adjacent from Grundy.}

GRUNDY: So, all the Grundys are named Grundy?

JARO: Exactly.

GRUNDY: {pause} Why do our parents suck at naming their kids?

Fun Facts

  • Dennys is a popular restaurant chain.
  • Jaro’s old home and Liekand digging up treasure is a reference to Fhqwhgads.
  • Poorbt being Jaro’s friend is a reference to Party.
  • The Freeloaders are a reference to Count X.
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