Other Character Email Jaro/timetravel

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Blue Ribbon Runner Upper!

CAST:Jaro, Chorch, Grundy, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, King of Town, The Poopsmith

SUMMERY:A complicated email sends the trio time traveling. But can they survive it?

LINES:122

TRANSCRIPT

JARO: I was going to check the 'e' of mail.

Dear Jaro,
Your PAST SELF requested me to time travel your FUTURE SELF
to the near future so he could give your NEAR-FUTURE SELF a
spare time travel device so he could travel into your past
and warn your PAST SELF to not request a time travel email,
as this will cause your PRESENT SELF to become very confused,
so confused in fact that I'll have to time travel your FUTURE
SELF back to your time period to stop you from reading this by
giving YOU a time travel device so you can travel half a minute
in the past so that you can stop yourself from reading this and
getting confused.

Just in case you didn't know,
Joshua

{The trio are stunned with silence. Grundys mouth hangs open.}

GRUNDY: Woah.

JARO: THERE'S NO WAY I'M READING THIS!!

CHORCH: This would give you a headache.

GRUNDY: How do we answer it?

JARO: I got an idea. Computer:simplify.

X-5: Simplifying...

{The following message comes up.}

JARO: Ah. Thats an email.

GRUNDY: If you want us to time travel, you don't have to over complicate anything.

CHORCH: X-5, activate time travel program.

X-5: Yes. {The trio and there computer disappear. Cut to a 2005 field. The trio and X-5 appear.}

JARO: Wow. This is 2005.

CHORCH: Tampo was allways telling us that it was dangerous here. Do you see a threat?

GRUNDY: No. Lets explore. {The trio and there computer leave. Cut to The Brother Strongs house, where Strong Bad and The Cheat are sitting on a porch drinking lemonade.}

STRONG BAD: Ah...this is the life. Sitting on a porch..drinking lemonade. Reminds me of days with my poopaw...hey The Cheat. Get me some more lemonade.

THE CHEAT: Meh! {Rings a bell. Strong Sad walks up dressed as a maid, holding a pitcher of lemonade.}

STRONG SAD: When am I gonna get to drink some?

STRONG BAD: When bouncing cups, pinching robots and jogging chickens come out of nowhere.

{Jaro and the gang walk up.}

JARO: Excuse me sir. Can you tell us where-

STRONG SAD: Saints be paised! {Drinks the pitcher of lemonade and runs off.}

STRONG BAD: Hey! Whats the big idea!? Who are you?

JARO: We're loyal minions of Tampo, Brody and Stlunko.

STRONG BAD: You mean the big brain, giant chicken and punching robot?

GRUNDY: Yeah!

STRONG BAD: Hey Strong Mad! These guys know the brain!

{Strong Mad comes out. He towers before the minions. He chucks them offscreen.}

STRONG BAD: Nice work. You deserve some lemonade. {He hands Strong Mad The Cheats glass.}

THE CHEAT: Meh meh meh!!

STRONG BAD: Hey! You weren't drinking it!

{Cut to the trio who are still flying through the air.}

GRUNDY: How long will we be flying?

CHORCH: We should keep flying untill something obstucts our path.

GRUNDY: Like what? {The trio smacks into a wall.} Oh.

{The X-5 rolls up on some wheels, and plops down. The trio fall to the ground.}

JARO: Where are we now?

X-5: Destination:Marzipans house.

CHORCH: Heh. This will be our easiest stop. Marzipan is a weakling.

JARO: Lets go. {They walk inside where Marzipan is playing with Carol.}

MARZIPAN: Who are you?

JARO: We are humble servents of Tampo Brody and Stlunko.

{Homestar walks in.}

HOMESTAR: Hey Mawzipan I- {Realizes the trio are here.} JUST WHAT IS GOING ON HEWE?

MARZIPAN: Some freaks came in. {The minions look annoyed.}

JARO: If you must know, we are not freaks. I am Jaro, he is Chorch, and he is Grundy.

CHORCH: Never classify us as freaks again.

HOMESTAR: Well whatevew you awe, GET OUT! {Kicks the trio out a window.}

TRIO: Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

HOMESTAR: {To Marzipan.} Now kiss me, baby cake!

MARZIPAN: Have you been watching soap operas again?

HOMESTAR: {Ashammed} Yes.

{The trio are flying again.}

GRUNDY: You know, for a guy with no arms, he has a pretty good kick.

CHORCH: I do not understand.

GRUNDY: I don't know why I said it either. S-

JARO: Look out!!!

{The camera is at the perspective of the trio, and it shows that they are heading for the Poopsmiths pile of whatsit.}

TRIO: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

GRUNDY: Thats a fate worse than death!

{The trio scrambles to put another in front of them to block the impact, but the one in front grabs another. Just when all seems hopeless, a giant frying pan blocks there path, and the camera pans over to see the King of Town.}

KOT: Well hello, hello! Yes I'm fine thank you, hey! Lets go inside!

JARO: Uh..who are you?

KOT: I'm the King! The King of Town!

JARO: Uhhh..lets discuss this first.

KOT: Okay!

{The trio huddles together.}

JARO: This is the king!

GRUNDY: So?

JARO: Think about it. He wants us to come inside. We gain his trust, and boom! Thats when we get rid of him, and we'll be the kings!

CHORCH: Heh heh..

{The go back to the King.}

JARO: Okay Kingo, we'll come in.

KOT: Hooray! {He leads the trio inside. The Poopsmith is sitting on a chair when the trio and the king walk up.}

JARO: Whats that thing?

KOT: Thats my Poopsmith.

JARO: Hey Poopsmith!

POOPSMITH:..........

GRUNDY: Is he broken?

KOT: No, he just took a vow of silence.

JARO: Okay. {Gears are heard. Suddenly, Jaro starts beeping in morse code.} Beep beep boop. Bop bop? BOOP!

POOPSMITH: {He holds up his shovel to bang it on the ground in morse code, but he drops it, and the blade part clonks Jaro on the head.}

JARO: Ahhh! Even without a nose I can smell it! {Visor goes static for a few seconds and then returns to normal.}

KOT: Sorry. I know just the cure for that;EATING!

JARO: I guess this can't be to bad. Chorch, did you bring the taste headsets?

CHORCH: Yes. {Pulls to Greggo like hats out. They both put them on.Cut to the KOTs kitchen. }

KOT: Would you like some Butter Da?

JARO: Uh, isn't that for cars? No thanks.

KOT: No, I insist! {Pours a bucket of Butter Da on Chorch.}

CHORCH: Adrsas anvvjmtjgrgb,my,kjmkrnjyhjrtgtrwfte!!!!!

JARO: Ack! Don't do that! You'll make him short circut!

CHORCH: Lets get out of here!

{The trio quickly run out of the castle, leaving the King alone.}

KOT: Oh great. I lost another friend. Ohhh...

{Cut to the field. X-5 is sitting there, and the trio run up.}

JARO: X-5, get us out of here!!

X-5: As you wish. {In a flash, they are back in 20X6.}

JARO: Well, there you go Josh. We time traveled. I hope you're happy.

CHORCH: Now if you excuse me, I gotta go get this Butter Da off. {Leaves.}

JARO: Yeah. I got to go wash up. I smell like crap. {Bounces off.}

GRUNDY: I guess I'll..go watch TV. {Runs away. The words "Click here to email Jaro" appear onscreen.}

EASTER EGGS

  • Click on the top of the X-5's screen to see the King again.

{The King and The Poopsmith are sitting at a table. King looks depressed.}

KOT: I have no friends. No wife. No kids. But at least I have my Poopsmith. You're my friend right Poopsmith?

POOPSMITH: {Holds up a sign that says "Uh....no."}

KOT: Ohhhh.....Poopsmith, when I go to sleep, please smother me with a pillow.

FUN FACTS

  • This email makes referances to the Tampo email Conquest, by saying that Tampo hates 2005, and that its dangerous.
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