Other Character Email Jaro/screw up

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Summary

Jaro and the gang go on a trip through time that will teach them not to snoop through attics.

Cast: Jaro, Grundy, Jake, Chorch, Lappit, The Homestar Runner, Rumble Red, 1936 Marzipan, The Cheat, Strong Bad, Homsar, Stinkoman

Lines: 184

Transcript

{Fade in to the computer. Everything is normal, except, Jake is standing to the right of Jaro.}

JARO: Email Time! Email time! Email time for email rhyme!

{Jaro brings up an email and reads it aloud.}

Subject:Horrors

HI!
What horrors are lurking in your attic?
It's gotta be cool up theres?
TheCheese

{Jaro shouts when reading "HI", and flinches a bit when he reads "TheCheese".}

JARO: {typing} Lurking horrors, eh, The Cheese? That'd be pretty hard to find, considering we ONLY MOVED IN YESTERDAY!

CHORCH: Some people.

JARO: {typing} But, since you asked, we will go into our attic and prove to you that we have no "lurking horrors of horror".

{After Jaro says this, the four desend into the attic. Fade to the attic. It is dark and dank and full of cobwebs.}

GRUNDY: {coughs}

JAKE: It looks like just some old attic. This place gives me the creeps.

JARO: Hey, look!

{The camera pans over to reveal a large trunk in the middle of the room.}

JARO: {thinking} My instincts tell me I should open that trunk right now.

JAKE: {thinking} My instincts tell me to run away from this trunk right now.

GRUNDY: {thinking} A bagel would hit the spot right now.

{Jaro leans over and begins to open the trunk.}

CHORCH: Jaro, NO!!

{Before Chorch can react, the whole screen is engulfed in a bright light. When it clears, Jaro, Grundy and Jake are gone. Chorch is alone.}

CHORCH: Aw, crap. This won't end well...

{Fade to a 1936-esque field. The Homestar Runner is standing there with a banana peel.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: I lurv bananas. They're full of rich ol' pot-a-see-um.

{Suddenly, a wormhole appears in the sky and spits out Grundy.}

GRUNDY: Aw, crap. I should stop eating tin foil.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Why, hoo-loo, good simeritan.

GRUNDY: Homestar...is that you?

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: I am The Homestar Runner. I live in yonder tent and enjoy a dance every now and again. Now, why'rd you comin' through a hole in the sky?

GRUNDY: I'm not sure.. Jaro opened a trunk, and then I ended up here.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Are you related to Rumble Red?

GRUNDY: Who?

{Suddenly, Rumble Red materializes in front of Grundy.}

RUMBLE RED: Did I hear my name....rumblegrumble...

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, horseradish sauce!

RUMBLE RED: Horse-radish? They don't have that malarkey on MY planet....blumble..

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: What a sup-prise...

GRUNDY: Hey, gray guys! Do you know how I get out of here?

RUMBLE RED: Hmm! I know just the rumble! {holds out a small device} Take this buffalo! It will help you with your (rumble) prediciment!

'{Marzipan walks up, holding a vase.}

MARZIPAN: Can you hold this heavy vase for me, Rumble Jed?

RUMBLE RED: {while taking the vase} Anything for a lady woman!

{Suddenly, a large cat jumps out of the vase, and claws up Rumble Red's face.}

RUMBLE RED: We don't have...iodine on...my planet....but I wish we did...

{Rumble Red's eyes turn to X's, and he turns into a pile of sod.}

GRUNDY: Crap! How am I supposed to get out of here when I don't even know how to work this thing?!

{Grundy throws the device against the ground, causing it to shake and sputter. Everyone steps back, as it creates a dimensional-portal in the sky.}

GRUNDY: Oh, cool. {grabs device} So long, suckers!

{Grundy jumps into the portal, and it closes, leaving the two 1936ers in the field.}

{pause}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Who wants cabbage soup?

{Fade to a normal 2006 field. The Cheat is standing by The Stick, looking around.}

THE CHEAT: Meh meh?

{Suddenly, a portal opens in the sky, freaking The Cheat out. It spits out Grundy, who falls on his face.}

GRUNDY: Ow! {gets up} Hmm. This isn't the right time. {to The Cheat} Hey, you! What year is this?

THE CHEAT: Meh! Meh!

GRUNDY: Okay...that doesn't really help. {looks around} Hey! It's Jake!

{The camera pans over to reveal Jake. He is sneaking up behind Strong Bad, with a wrench.}

GRUNDY: Hey, JAKE!

{Strong Bad turns around.}

STRONG BAD: What the?! {Strong Bad runs off.}

JAKE: What? NO!

GRUNDY: Jake! You got transported somewhere too?!

JAKE: Darn it, Grundy! You ruined my plan! I could have destroyed Stinkoman once and for all!

GRUNDY: No, you would have screwed up the timeline, and killed yourself. Now c'mon! We're probably messing stuff up right now!

{Grundy opens up another random portal. They both jump inside. When the portal closes, the camera pans over to show The Cheat, dumbfounded. Suddenly, Homsar comes up to him and eats The Cheat.}

{Cut to a Stinkoman 20X6-like background. Jaro is standing in the field.}

JARO: Hmm. That's wierd. The world seems much...flater than normal.

{Stinkoman runs up.}

STINKOMAN: You Jair-ohs have had it too good for too long! DOUBLE DEUCE!!

JARO: Meep.

{Just then, another portal opens up, causing Grundy and Jake to fall out.}

STINKOMAN: Oh, crap! They're calling for backup! RUN!!! {runs away}

JARO: Guys!? What's going on?

JAKE: I don't know. We just opened that trunk..

GRUNDY: And we got teleported to different areas in time!

JARO: How? It was just some stupid old trunk!

{Just then, Chorch and The Lappit materialize into the scene.}

CHORCH: Thank goodness I found you guys!

JARO: Choch? What's going on?

CHORCH: You guys dissapeared! I've been searching everywhere through the Time Stream to find you!

LAPPIT: We have to get out of here now, before we screw up time.

{Pan over to see, Jaro, Chorch and Grundy, standing by the others. They have their mouths open and their eyes wide.}

LAPPIT: More so...

{Chorch types some stuff in, and the four dissapear in a flash.}

{Cut back to the apartment, where the gang is. Jaro begins to type.}

JARO: See, Cheeser? That's why you don't go snooping though attics. Let that be a lesson to you youngsters. {types in "Click here to email Jaro"} Let's go play video games! {they leave}

Fun Facts

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