Other Character Email Jaro/kidnapped

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Contents

Summery

Grundy leaves the trio and is kidnapped! Dun, dun dun!!

Cast:Grundy, Jaro, NachoMan, Chorch, Dark Greggo, Green Beard

Lines: 128

Transcript

{Fade to the abyss. Grundy is lying down, his eyes with many rings under them.}

GRUNDY: Moan…Moan…

{Grundy’s stomach grows a mouth.}

GRUNDY’S STOMACH: {Gangster accent} Yo, I’m starvin’ ovah ‘ere!!

{The mouth disappears.}

GRUNDY: Need…food…

{Grundy’s eyes target on Jaro.}

GRUNDY: No no no. He’s my best friend. I can’t eat him!

{The image of Jaro morphs into a hamburger.}

GRUNDY: Mmm. Cheeseburger with extra tomatoes…

{The top bun of the burger changes to resemble a mouth.}

BURGER: Oh, I’m so very cold! If only some kind young man we’re to give me a nice warm belly to sleep in.

{Grundy drools.}

BURGER: I better keep warm with this ketchup! {pulls a bottle of ketchup from offscreen and douses itself with it.}

GRUNDY: GAA! YOU TEASE! ATTAAAAACK!!!

{Grundy springs forward at Jaro/hamburger. He begins to gnaw on the burger.}

JARO: Er..what are you doing?

GRUNDY: MMM! Cheese!

{Jaro shakes around franticly trying to free himself from Grundy.}

JARO: Get this thing off me!

{NachoMan walks up.}

NACHOMAN: What the bloody heck are you doing?

GRUNDY: Cheeseburger in paradise!

{NachoMan sighs. He waves his arm, and Grundy regains sanity.}

GRUNDY: What happened?

{Chorch floats up.}

CHORCH: Darn it, Grundy! Can’t we go five minutes without you going insane?!

GRUNDY: It’s not my fault! I’m starving!!

CHORCH: We were this close to having NachoMan’s powers reach fully charged, and you ruined it!! RUINED IT!!!

{Chorch and NachoMan both float/walk away angrily.}

JARO: {to Grundy} Maybe it’d be best for all of us if you just sat over there.

{Jaro bounces away, and Grundy sighs sadly.}

VOICE: Psst.

GRUNDY: Who’s there?

VOICE: Come with me, kid.

{Grundy glances in the other direction to see the others crowded together, not paying attention to him at all.}

GRUNDY: Do you have food?

VOICE: By the truckloads.

GRUNDY: I’m in! {pause} Where are you?

VOICE: Here.

{A bolt of lighting zaps Grundy, and he disappears. The screen cuts to Jaro and the others.}

JARO: Did you here something?

CHORCH: Nope.

{Cut to the interior of the bad guys ship. Green Beard is waiting impatiently.}

GREEN BEARD: Come on, come on…

{Suddenly, in a huge flash, Grundy and the figure appear. The voice turns out to be Dark Greggo with the Lappit.}

GREEN BEARD: Why’d you make me wait so long? You could’ve just sent yourself back to a second after you left!

DARK GREGGO: You want another temporal wave?

GRUNDY: Hey, where’s the food you promised?

DARK GREGGO: It’s down the hall, second door on your right, can’t miss it.

{Grundy runs off. The bad guys speak in whispers.}

GREEN BEARD: I’m confused. Why do we need him, again?

DARK GREGGO: I couldn’t seem to find the treasure using the Lappit. However, I googled the treasure and read something interesting; Grundy’s shoes.

GREEN BEARD: Er?

DARK GREGGO: His shoes were made by the same Indian tribe that invented the treasure.

GREEN BEARD: Indian tribe? That’s what I call jumping the shark!

DARK GREGGO: …no. Anyway, I think that with the proper technology analyzing of the shoes, I can be able to create a device to locate the treasure.

GREEN BEARD: I thought he got his shoes from a mystical pizza.

DARK GREGGO: {annoyed} The Indian tribe made the pizza too, okay!?

{The two enter a room where Grundy is eating a bowl of iced cream.}

DARK GREGGO: Oh, Grundy!

GRUNDY: Yeah.

DARK GREGGO: We need to see your tennies for a while and—

GRUNDY: My sneakers?

DARK GREGGO: Uh, yeah.

GRUNDY: I can’t just give them to you. I’ve had them all my life. Sorta.

DARK GREGGO: So, what do we have to do?

GRUNDY: You have to…check an email!

GREEN BEARD: Pff. Too easy.

GRUNDY: And you have to do it how I say.

DARK GREGGO: Er, okay.

{The three walk up to the Lappit.}

GRUNDY: I used to have a computer just like that.

DARK GREGGO: Pure coincidence. All right, let’s get this show on the road.

GRUNDY: WAIT!!

DARK GREGGO: What?

GRUNDY: You have to sing a little song before you check it!

DARK GREGGO: …okay.. Doo doo doo, email time, etcetera.

MOVING

Geuss what? I'm Moving!
Yep, I am. I was thinking
living with you. I'm
bring is Gaspeau and Frotzer with me
GET READY,

Poorbt

DARK GREGGO: Well, I got bad news for you, CRAP HEAD!

{Grundy looks shocked.}

DARK GREGGO: I wouldn’t give you a home if you were homeless! You make me want to puke!

GRUNDY: STOP!!!!

DARK GREGGO: What now?!?

GRUNDY: You need to answer emails with compassion!

DARK GREGGO: Well, if you insist.. Ahem. {talks in a polite voice} I feel sorry for you. I hope they find a way to cure your brain damage.

GRUNDY: That’s your idea of compassion?

{A thought bubble appears over Dark Greggo with the words “Compassion Com-Pass-ion. “Dark Greggo insulted Poorbt compassionately””}

DARK GREGGO: Pretty much.

{The bubble disappears.}

GRUNDY: Be polite, not insensitive.

{pause}

GRUNDY: You know, you look kinda familiar.

DARK GREGGO: Naw, I’m just a very nice Greggo.

GRUNDY: Well, okay. Let’s try this again.

DARK GREGGO: {pause} Dear Poorbt. You’re ugly.

GRUNDY: Sigh. Keep working on it.

{Grundy walks away}

DARK GREGGO: To heck with this!

GREEN BEARD: But we need his shoes to complete the plan!

DARK GREGGO: Bah! I’d rather die than be “compassionate”!! We’ll have to use other techniques. {types something on the computer} Let’s go.

{The two exit stage left. A close up on the computer reveals the words “Click here to email Dark Greggo.”}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on Dark to see a secret scene.

{Cut to Grundy in some dark room.}

GRUNDY: Hmm…this room sure is dark. Wait! Dark…greggo…no, I got nothing.

Fun Facts

  • Jumping The Shark is a metaphor that has been used by US TV critics and fans to denote the tipping point at which a TV series is deemed to have passed its peak. Once a show has "jumped the shark," fans sense a noticeable decline in quality or feel the show has undergone too many changes to retain its original charm.
  • The joke about Dark Greggo’s definition of “compassion” is a reference to a joke from 8-bit Theater.
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