Other Character Email Jaro/squids

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A very handsome squid.

CAST: Jaro, Chorch, Grundy, Squid Jaro, Liekand, Greggo, Shadowy Person

SUMMERY: Jaro imagines what he would be like as a squid and goes off to buy a used car!!

LINES: About 57

TRANSCRIPT

JARO: {Singing.} Walking in the dark, and email lit the wayyyyyy!!!! {Stops singing and presses a button making an email pop up.}

Dera Jaro, Grundy, and Chorch.
Do you like squids?
Expecially pudgy squids?
If you do or don't, what would you be like
as a pudgy squid. Tell me and you'll
save 15% or more on car insurance by switching to Geico.
Do or die,
Homfrog

{Jaro reads 'expecially' as it is spelled, and '15%' as '15 percent sign' and says 'Homfrog' as 'Homsar amphibian'.}

JARO: Squids? Me? I've never really thought about being a squid...or any animal for that matter.

GRUNDY: I would hate being a squid. They're so...squidish.

CHORCH: And shooting ink...totally..gross.

JARO: Yeah, I can't see why anyone would want to be a squid. But, someone asked it, we gotta answer it.

{Screen fades to white. Jaro is sitting in the middle of the screen.}

JARO: {Voiceover} Okay, first..my head would be a big ol' triangle squid head. {Jaro grows a squid-like head.} And instead of a jumping spring body, I would have tenticals. {Sections disappear and are replaced by tenticals.} Then, unlike most squids, I'd have a rocket booster. {The squid-Jaro gets a big jetpack fused to his back.}

GRUNDY: {Voiceover} Uhhh..why?

JARO: {Voiceover} Jet packs are all the rage!!

GRUNDY: {Voiceover} Riiighttt....

JARO: {Voiceover} Moving on. Then, lastly, I'd have a couple of random weapons attached to me. {Squid-Jaro gets diffrent weapons, including Browntants, lasers, canons,and other random stuff.} Yeah...thats good. I'd make a very handsome squid.

{Cut back to the computer room.}

CHORCH: So now, we can save 15% or more on car insurance.

JARO: This email is obviously from the past. We have hover cars and teleporters. We don't need to do anything.

GRUNDY: But, that email said 'do or die'. If we don't answer this email, we'll be slayed!!

JARO: We'd better go get a hover car! {They leave. Cut to "Liekands Used Hover Crafts" where Liekand is showing the trio around.}

LIEKAND: {Showing them a polka-dotted car.} This little beauty gets 1500 miles to the gallon, has excellent handleing and it can be yours for the low low price of ten thousand dollars!

JARO: Uhh..we're a little low on cash..

LIEKAND: Get out of my sight. {The guys slowly leave.}

JARO: How are we ever gonna get that much money?

CHORCH: If I could make a suggestion... {Screen fades out. When it fades in, Chorch is carrying Greggo somewhere.}

GREGGO: Where are we going?

JARO: I told you, an amusement park.

{The walk up to a big building labled "MELTER".}

GREGGO: Uhhhh...

JARO: Just go in there, and have fun.

GREGGO: Okay.. {Walks inside. Grinding sounds are heard.} AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ARRRRR-...

{A tube coming out of the side of the building spews out pieces of Greggo. A small microchip falls on the pile.}

JARO: Save his brain chip, and lets get these parts exchanged for money. {Screen changes to the guys at Liekands car shop.}

LIEKAND: Well...I'mreallysuprised with you....how did yougetallthatmoney?

JARO: You know, Greggo was happy enough to donate it to our cause.

LIEKAND: Well, enjoy your hover car! Would you like an air freshner? Only tenthousanddollarsand one dollar!

JARO: Sorry. We're out of money. {Drives away. Camera switches to inside the car.} Man, I hated having to do that to Greggo.

GRUNDY: It doesn't matter. {Throws microchip out the window.} Besides, the only thing left is his brain chip, so even if he is mad, he couldn't do anything.

JARO: I suppose you're right.

{Camera cuts back to the chip, lying on the side walk. A shadowy hand reaches down and picks it up.}

SHADOWY PERSON: Hmm..interesting.. {Walks away with the chip.}

{ The camera pans up to a flag hanging from the side of a building. It has the words "Click here to email Jaro" on it.}

EASTER EGGS

  • Click on the flag pole to see what happened to Jaro.

{The car has been pulled over. Jaro is performing the soberiety test.}

JARO: Z, y, x, w, v, u...uh...s?

COP: Thats it. Come with me son. {Puts handcuffs around Jaros middle section.}

JARO: No! I'm not drunk! I didn't see the speed limit sign! Help!

FUN FACTS

  • This is not the last appearance of the shadowy man or Greggo.
  • In case you didn't know, Jaro was doing the alphabet backwards, a test to see if you've been drinking. Of course Jaro wasn't.
  • I plan on using Liekand again some time in the future.
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