Other Character Email Jaro/home alone

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Contents

Summary

Soon!

Transcript

{Jaro is at his desk and computer alone. He brings up an email with out a witty song or orientation film strip.}

Subject:alone

Dear Jah to the Ro,
What do you do when you're home alone?
From,
Stotheb

{Jaro reads "Stotheb" as one word, and the rest of the email as normal.}

JARO: {typing} Well, whenever Grundy isn't around, there isn't much to do or clean up around here, such as right now. So I usually just play with my sock puppet, Donny.

{pan down to show a blue sock puppet, such as the one from Geddup Noise, lying on the floor.}

JARO: So, Donny, how’s dem family?

DONNY: {muffled high voice} I ate them. It's the tears of the innocent that keep me alive!

JARO: Oh, Donny. Always full of tricks and jokes. {typing} But when we're not exchanging tomfoolery, we usually dive into arguments that result in one-on-one food-themed battles. {stops typing} Donny, I challenge you to an Iron Chef battle of the ages!

{Fade to a large kitchen, with ingredients stacked up to the sky. Jaro and Donny are facing each other, in front of Stlunko, who has a lopsided chef's hat on his antenna.}

STLUNKO: Competitions are an attempt to fix which is meant broken. However, this battle involves creating dishes that glamorize the secret ingredient. And that is...

{Stlunko lifts a lid of a table, revealing several empty bottles.}

STLUNKO: Air! You have one hour to complete three dishes.

JARO: What? You can't make food out of air, nor can you make the air stand out!

STLUNKO: Your interruption has deducted 30 minutes from your time.

JARO: WHAT?!

STLUNKO: Also, we are giving them to Donny.

{Fade to a black screen with white text reading "An amount of minutes later". The screen fades back to Stlunko and the competitors.}

STLUNKO: Alright, the dishes were judged, and the two most popular were {cut to an empty plate} Donnys air casserole, and {cut to a beautiful pie} Jaro's putrid lemon merange pie. The winner is DONNY, for his great use on the product! {Cut back to Stlunko} Jaro, you should have tried harder.

JARO: It's air! You cannot use air as an ingredient, unless it involves fire! And then you wouldn't be glamorizing it!

{Suddenly, a mighty guitar swoops from the sky and shines before Jaro.}

GUITAR: I am Fendson! Mighty guitar God! Let me guide you! I will give you advice on your puny life, Jaro!

JARO: How does this apply to the current situation?

FENDSON: If you do not want your life you mimic this event in outcome, you must behold my answers.

{The things he says appear}

FENDSON: Once there was a lonely boy. He was so lonely and horrible, people would punch him in the gut for being their. Heck, his parents gave him a good night punch every evening! But one day, his luck changed when he bought a GUITAR. This FENDER GUITAR was very SHINEY and NICE. It had 26 FRETS and 3 PICKUPS. Suddenly, people respected it more, and he was loved. All because he played GUITAR.

JARO: So, you're saying product placement will help me rise to the top?

FENDSON: Now you're (PEPSI) getting it! Now, me and this kid need to split.

{Fendson takes Donny and begins to leave.}

JARO: Wait! What about me?!

FENDSON: Who're you?

JARO: You were just talking to me!

FENDSON: I don't remember it. I was talking to this kid the whole time. He's got spunk! See ya!

DONNY: Thanks for the (Starbucks) start up! I gotta go (Apple iPhone)!

{Fade back to the computer.}

JARO: {typing} So, I ended up buying a bunch of crap. That guy's got real talent! Anyway, I thought I'd see Donny in a movie or something, but it looks like he's been demoted! {Jaro goes to a website, showing an ad with Donny and a pair of boxing gloves.} Now, I can beat up the traitor AND win tickets to my favorite soft drink! {Jaro begins the ad game. He wins, bringing up a text-filled pop-up.} Sell my organs on the web? How could I refuse!

{Jaro trails off, typing and bringing up more popups. The screen slowly fades to Fendson, with arms and legs, laughing evilly. Creepy music plays, and "Click here to email Jaro" appears in the corner.}

Easter Eggs

Coming Soon!

Fun Facts

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