Other Character Email Jaro/evil
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
CAST:Jaro, Chorch, Grundy, Poopsmith 1-Down, Host, Muffin Man,
SUMMERY: 1-Down and Jaro fight in the Negitive Zon.
LINES:137
TRANSCRIPT
JARO: 14 emails and counting. Can we check some more?
Guys,
I gotta tell ya, you've had a good run
and all, but I gotta kill you! I have
a reputation as a cruel, heartless,
blood-thirsty, merciless, anti-social,
evil murderer to hold up so I gotta
challenge-kill* you! Meet me at the
Negative zon at 4:00 PM!
On the dot,
1-Down
at the same time.
- Challenge-kill:To challenge and kill
JARO: Ugh. Look 1-Down, we don't care about your stupid threats. I've never meet you, and whats a Negative zon?
X-5: Negitive Zon. A string of planets orbiting a black hole.
GRUNDY: Okay. I guess we'll go.
JARO: Why?
GRUNDY: We can probably beat this guy. I mean, 4 against one.
POOPSMITH: {Offscreen.} Woah woah woah. {Crashes through wall.} Why would I want to help you fight some guy?
JARO: I guess you don't want to go. We'll leave without you...
POOPSMITH: Ahh! No! Don't leave me alone! He'll get me again! {Pan out to see a shadow of a clown with a chainsaw standing in the doorway.} Please.
JARO: Okay. X-5, teleport us to Negitive Zon.
X-5: Teleporting. {In a flash, the trio are gone. Cut to an area in outer space. About 30 planets are floating round.}
JARO: Well...here we are. {Zoom WAY out.} Come get us, mister 1-Down! {Zoom back in.} Not like...got a whole lot else goin' on.
GRUNDY: This is taking to long. Are we gonna- {The screen shakes. Suddenly, all the planets get sucked together, and colide in a ring. A green force-field appears in the middle, and a dome like force-field appears over them.}
CHORCH: What is happening!?
{Two towers stretch out from the ground, along with seats making the area look like a football arena. People, aliens and robots quickly rush into the stands and two screens appear under the stands.}
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentelmen, please put your hands together, for our newest victims, I er, mean, contestants! JARO, GRUNDY, CHORCH AND POOPSMITH!!!
JARO: Cool. We're famous.
ANNOUNCER: And, facing off against them, our current champion...1-DOWN!!!! {A hole in the ground appears with 1-Down appearing out of it.}
1-DOWN: Prepair to die.
JARO: What is this?
1-DOWN: You are obviously new to this, so I will explain it to you. Each day, we will be sent to a diffrent world to compete. Every week, we will vote off one person.
JARO: Ha! We'll win! There's four of us, and one of you!
1-DOWN: You're right! {Talking into his hat.} Boss, they're gonna win!
UNSEEN MAN: {From hat.} Do not worry. I am sending you an assistant to distract them.
{A flash of light. When it clears, Muffin Man stands. He is a 3 foot tall muffin with arms and legs.}
1-DOWN: {Into hat.} That's the best you can do!?
MUFFIN MAN: Hee hee! My head is full of glue!!!
UNSEEN MAN: {From hat.} Okay, I am not the best at genetic mutating, but that is my sidekick so treat him with respect. G-Bot, over and out.
1-DOWN: {Puts hat back on.} Grumble. Okay, Muffin Man, do you think you're strong enough to work with me?
MUFFIN MAN: I ate my own toenails!!
1-DOWN: That's good enough for me!
ROBOTIC VOICE: Transporting to first world.
{Red button lightning appears, and the contestants are gone. Cut to a jungle type land. The people, and X-5 appear.}
JARO: Alright! First challenge!!
{A floating tv screen appears, with two red eyes shining on the screen. We will refer to it, as the host.}
HOST: Alright, number 1. Try to get across the pit.
GRUNDY: Pit? What pit?
{The ground shakes. Suddenly, a HUGE part of the land disappears, leaving a big cliff to the other side. At the bottom, there is a huge pong. Grundy gulps.}
GRUNDY: Gulp.
HOST: Aw, whats the matter? Can't swim?
GRUNDY: Well, yeah.
HOST: Well don't worry. The cybernetic alligators will break your fall.
GRUNDY: Gulp.
X-5: Do not worry Grundy. I have found a way to get across.
HOST: Sorry Grundy, but no cheating!! {X-5 disappears.}
JARO: Ack! Our computer! What'd you do to him?
HOST: If you win the game, we'll give him to you in one piece.
JARO: There's gotta be a way across. {Looks at a vine hanging from the sky.} Hmm. Mabey we can use that vine to go across.
CHORCH: Well, I can fly, so I don't have to worry about this.
HOST: No. You must be fair and not fly.
CHORCH: Grumble.
{He floats over to the vine, where the others already are.}
POOPSMITH: I say we do this one at a time. It'll be safer that way.
JARO: Sorry, Poopsmith. We're swinging on this baby all at the same time.
CHORCH: Isn't that dangerous?
GRUNDY: Aw come on! A true man wouldn't be afraid to try new things!
{Flashback to Grundy in a kitchen. He holds up a lighter and sets himself on fire. He runs around in circles and falls down. Cut back to the trio, who are allready on the vine.}
JARO: Swing!
{They jump off, plunging deep down, and swing across. Just as they think they are about to make it, the vine snaps. They fall towards the other edge and The Poopsmith holding on to it for life. He is holding the trio.}
POOPSMITH: Ahh!
JARO: Poopsmith, you gotta pull us up!
POOPSMITH: Er, I can't!
GRUNDY: You just gotta belive in yourself!
POOPSMITH: {Fart} I can't!
JARO: Great. We're done for.
POOPSMITH: Oh wait. {Camera pans up to see a vine. He grabs onto it, and pulls the trio up.}
HOST: What?! You made it!? {Talks into watch.} I told you to make it unbeatabnle!......I don't care if that's video game logic, just don't do it again! {To viewers.} Well, thats the end of day one!
CHORCH: What happened to 1-Down?
HOST: He safely teleported across.
GRUNDY: Hey, isn't that cheating!?
HOST: Not for him!
{Fade to night, about 7:00 in the afternoon. The trio are lying down in a large opening in the forest.}
GRUNDY: I think this whole thing is rigged.
CHORCH: Huh?
GRUNDY: Well, if he lets 1-Down cheat, and trys to make us lose, he's trying to kill us!
POOPSMITH: Who hates you?
1-DOWN: {Offscreen} Me!!
{Suddenly, huge trees are knocked out of the way of the hands of a mighty robot. 1-Down is inside.}
1-DOWN: Ha ha ha! You are stupid! How could you not guess that we were trying to kill you?
JARO: We did guess that.
1-DOWN: Shut up! Anyway, DIE!
{The trio scatter as the giant foot falls.}
1-DOWN: This is too easy.
{Chorch is floating out of the way, but trips somehow.}
1-DOWN: AHA!
CHORCH: AHH!
{The foot comes down once more to fall upon Chorch. When it lifts, Chorch is nothing more than a crumpled robot body.}
JARO: Chorch! NO!!!
POOPSMITH: That's it.
{The Poopsmith is ingulfed in flames and becomes Flaming Poopsmith. He flys at the robot and goes through the middle of it.}
JARO: How are you doing that?
POOPSMITH: I don't know!
JARO: Whatever you do, don't stop!
{The Poopsmith again charges at the robot. He smashes its arm off and beats it with it. The robot falls to the ground, smoking and chared. The trio run over to Chorch. The Poopsmiths flame goes out.}
JARO: Chorch! Speak to me!
CHORCH: {Raspy} Roooossseebuuudddd....{His eyes turn off.}
JARO: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
{The Host flys up!}
HOST: Rats! I'll have to try again! I haven't been beatin yet!
{A far off building explodes, deploying a ship with a two red Greggo eyes on the side.}
JARO: D-Dark Greggo killed Chorch.
GRUNDY: L-Lets g-go h-home.
In memormial of Chorch
Click here to email Jaro.
EASTER EGGS
- NONE!
FUN FACTS
- George Washington was actually the NINTH president! It's true!
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